163 pitches, 16 Ks, 7 BBs, 1 H.  That’s what Nolan Ryan used to do before going to chop some wood and bulldog some steer.  The only pen Ryan ever needed was to house his horses.  Yesterday, that was, how do I say this, an interesting start by Trevor Bauer.  He went 6 IP, 0 ER with 11 strikeouts.  He didn’t allow any hits, but he gave up five walks in 111 pitches.  I feel like I should get half-credit for Bauer’s start on teams where I drafted Danny Salazar.  Can I call him Tranny Bauerzar or will that upset my LGBT readers?  My new favorite spring training stat that means nothing:  Bauer’s 26 to 1 K to BB ratio.  Bauer looked unhittable for the whole game.  Depending on whether or not the Astros hitters decided to swing, it resulted in a strikeout or walk.  It was like Randy Johnson in his early years when if hitters swung, they’d strikeout.  If they sat there, they’d walk.  The “Do You Feel Lucky…Plunk” approach to pitching.  I’ll demonstrate as a hitter’s inner monologue, “I’m feeling lucky…Gonna step into this one and drive it… Jesus…That almost plunked me, I’m gonna swing wildly and get back to the dugout.”  This approach can also be found in most Little League games.  If Bauer’s unowned in your league, I wish I were in your league!  Grab him!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Michael Brantley – Out again with back stiffness.  He did get into the game at one point.  Not the baseball game, the game of Good Wince vs. Bad Wince.  That’s the game that’s played every time Bauer pitches.  Way outside…Bad wince!  Outside but a swing and miss…Good wince!

Jose Ramirez – 2-for-4, 2 runs and a slam (1) and double legs (2).  Considering he has 10-homer power and 20-steal speed, I’m not surprised.  And to think I was gonna drop him.  No, I wasn’t!  It’s three games, guys and four girls!  Chillax!

Asher Wojciechowski – 4 IP, 4 ER.  His last name in Polish translates to “The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.”

Brett Cecil – 1 IP, 0 ER, 2 Ks.  For you cinephiles, he’s now Cecil B. DeMoted.  Gibbons replaced him as closer with the dreaded closer-by-committee.  Cecil didn’t look good in Wednesday’s game as I said yesterday, but I’m surprised he was replaced this fast.  Gibbons is overreacting faster than a fantasy manager!  One inning?  Really, Seth Myers?  Oh, well.  I wouldn’t drop Cecil just yet because it’s still early and could get the job back in two weeks and still get 30 saves this year.  Miguel Castro (1 IP, 0 ER and the save) looks likely to replace him.  Roberto Osuna (1 1/3 IP, 3 Ks yesterday) looks devastatingly nasty, but is very raw at 20 years old, which seems to be everyone’s drawback for him.  Um, yeah, Castro is a whole month older than him.  *shrugs*  Meh, what do I know?

Edwin Encarnacion – 2-for-4, 2 runs and his 2nd homer.  Hey, rub up against Bautista, would ya?

CC Sabathia – 5 2/3 IP, 4 ER, 8 baserunners, 8 Ks.  Looks like throwing him for 250 IP for five years in a row wasn’t a good idea.  Guess Michael Lewis will have to rewrite that chapter of “Spending Moneyball,” where the Yankees build a rotation out of a bunch of overpriced, overused arms.

Alex Rodriguez -1-for-3 and his 1st homer, and in this game Mark Teixeira also homered.  Next thing you know Craig Kilborn’s gonna make a comeback.

Billy Hamilton – 0-for-3, 1 run and two steals (5, 6).  Rudy texted me yesterday, “It’s fun to own Hamilton.”  I agree.  It’s like owning a guy that homers every day without getting any RBIs, runs or hits.  It’s like eating candy for dinner.  I love Hamilton’s empty calories and I want more candy!

Joey Votto – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs with a home run and two Ks.  Okay, Jay Bruce quit wearing Votto’s uniform.  Not funny.

Anthony DeSclafani – 6 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks.  In my very deep leagues, I grabbed DeSclafani because he had a 9 K-rate last year in Triple-A and an under-4 xFIP for the Marlins while always maintaining solid control (1.4 BB/9 last year in Miami).  At this point, I’m still only in on him for deeper than 14-team leagues, but depending on matchups on Stream-O-Nator, I could see jumping the gun.

Pedro Alvarez – 2-for-4, 2 runs and his 1st homer.  He’s started every game so far this season and Corey Hart has one at-bat.  Corey Hart might be embarrassed, because I always see him wearing sunglasses.

Gregory Polanco – 2-for-4, 1 RBI and his 2nd steal.  Mean’s while on all my teams with Marte:  *raspberries lips*  Yup.

Yasmany TomasDiamondbacks manager, Chip Hale, said Yasmany needs to get in better shape.  Yasmany said, “Then stop reminding me of chocolate chip cookies!”

Ricky Nolasco – Went for an MRI on his elbow.  He wasn’t feeling anything out of the ordinary, but the Twins were hoping to find something.

Kyle Gibson – 3 2/3 IP, 6 ER.  Kyle Gibson is to pitching as Bob Gibson was to crocheting.

Shane Greene – 8 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks vs. the Twins.  I like Greene a lot, but before we start giving each other a reach around, let’s see him do it in some less favorable starts.

J.D. Martinez – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 2nd homer.  I wonder if he secretly shortened his first name, Jew Don, dropping a G from Don.  Wouldn’t be the first Jew to do that.

Anthony Gose – 3-for-5, 3 runs and his 1st steal.  If you’re hurting for steals and Gose is available in your league, get your shizz together and grab him!  He’s worth it if he steals 35+ bases and bats leadoff in only two-thirds of the time.

Domonic Brown – Began a rehab assignment.  Say hi to Josh Hamilton.

Xander Bogaerts – 3-for-4, 1 run, 3 RBIs.  I’m sighing in relief that I don’t have to tell people to hold Bogaerts for another whole three days.

Justin Masterson – 6 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks.  He’ll prolly back his way into twenty wins this year.  Not even joking.

Eric Hosmer – 2-for-4 and a steal after homering the day before.  Salvador Perez (1-for-3, 2 RBIs) homered yesterday after stealing a base the day before.  It’s the Memento slam and legs!

Edinson Volquez – 8 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks.  Someone owes Ray Searage a nickel!  Stream-o-Nator doesn’t like his next start vs. the Twins, but it’s the Twins and I could see streaming him there.

Ian Kennedy – Left yesterday’s game with a strained hamstring.  Suspects include Cliff Lee, Matt Harvey and Roy Oswalt.  Kennedy was then suspiciously replaced by a Cuban.

Tim Hudson – 6 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 10 baserunners, 1 K.  Keep pitching like that and the Yankees are gonna give Hudson a ten-year, $200 million contract.

Matt Harvey – 6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 9 Ks.  Yeah, I should’ve been higher on him.  Like in the top 10 SPs.  Oh well, shoot me.  Not you, Dick Cheney!

Michael Taylor – 2-for-5, 2 RBIs, hitting .308 and leading off.  I’ve looked to pick Taylor on multiple occasions, but nagging on the back of my craw is the fact that he’s going to be out of a job soon.  Not sure why that’s stopping me since half my team will cease to exist soon, that’s if you’re like me and assume players not on any of your fantasy teams no longer exist.

Stephen Strasburg – 5 1/3 IP, 3 ER, 12 baserunners, 5 Ks.  His line looks much worse than it was.  Strasburg had a ton of junky hits tagged onto his WHIP because of a routine play bobbled by Ian Desmond.  Desmond has caused more unearned runs than Olestra.

Nick Martinez – 7 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks.  A little behind the scenes glimpse at the Fantasy Master Lothario.  I don’t clear my browser history during the season, so I can type a few letters and get taken right to a player’s page.  I can type “Tu” and have Tuffy Gosewich’s page pop up.  It makes for some embarrassing web searching if someone’s watching me.  Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, kazoo.  I tell you this now because there hasn’t been one time since December, when I started writing the rankings, that I looked up Nick Martinez.  Now that I get there, I see why.  He had a 6+ K-rate in Double-A and an under-5 K-rate last year for the Rangers in 140 1/3 IP.  Yuck.  Hopefully that’s the last time I look at Nick Martinez’s page.

Rougned Odor – 1-for-3, 2 runs and his 1st homer as the Rangers beat up on opposing pitcher, Graveman.  I thought The Undertaker was supposed to keep balls down.  Literally!  This was Odor’s first hit of the season.  Phew, that stinks!

Ryan Rua – 3-for-5, 1 run.  He won’t be in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell column — that’s right, it’s back! — but I could see cyclops’ing Rua.  There is some talent here.  Sky also gave you his Ryan Rua fantasy.

Mitch Moreland – 1-for-3, 3 RBIs and his 1st homer.  He’s been on absolute fire.  *looks at his stat sheet*  He’s hitting .200.  He’s on fire for him!

Shin-Soo Choo – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 1st homer.  When it rains, it pours for the Rangers, but most days it looks like the Rangers hitting will have massive pores like Manuel Noriega.  (That rhymed in my head.)

Kendall Graveman – 3 1/3 IP, 7 ER.  Graveman sure is coffin up a lot of runs!

 
  1. The Great Knoche says:
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    Tuffy or Nick Martinez, more searches ROY?

  2. Jumbo Diaz's Fries says:
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    What the heck is going on with Salazar? Why cant’ I find any info on how he’s doing in the minors?

    • Hawk says:
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      @Jumbo Diaz’s Fries:

      The minor league season just started a day or two ago.

  3. Mark says:
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    Man those nolasco and tomas lines had me laugh out loud. Good stuff

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Mark: Thanks!

  4. Tigres says:
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    Hey Grey- Watched the end of Jays-Yanks last night. Cecil looked better, was hitting 90 mph (up from 87-88 night before), a couple good breaking pitches and a couple weaker ones, still did not inspire great confidence. This was vs Yanks 4-5-6-7 hitters which, alas, is not exactly murderers’ row. Castro hitting 96-97 on fastball, also had a good breaking pitch – looks worth owning for Ks and ratios, regardless of role.

    • uncdrew says:
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      @Tigres:

      As a Castro owner, it’s gotta be him going forward. Who wants a geezer lefty as a closer?

      • Clyde Prompto says:
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        @uncdrew: The Jays might, if only because Castro will be much cheaper when he’s up for arbitration if he isn’t a closer.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Tigres: Osuna’s nasty too, they have two guys better than Cecil

  5. Giant Gigantes says:
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    Someone offered me Graveman for Iwakuma lol.
    Anyway, currently own D Santana. Someone dropped Bogaerts and also Segura, Ramirez are unowned. What to do?

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Giant Gigantes: depends on need, Bogarts for power, Segura for speed. Both are fine over Santana

    • Cram It says:
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      @Giant Gigantes: I’d take Boegarts. I would hold over those other guys.

  6. Tommot says:
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    Votto for Gomez and Bauer
    Davis for Gomez and Bauer
    J Upton for Gomez and Bauer

    Which sides are you on?

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Tommot: Gomez side for all of them

    • piranhaman says:
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      @Tommot: Gomez who? CarGo Lite? No way..

      • J-FOH says:
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        @piranhaman: I would assume he’s talking about Carlos Gomez

        • piranhaman says:
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          @J-FOH: me too. I think no one give up Gomez for all of them. Even +Bauer.

          • Speedy McGreedy says:
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            @piranhaman: Might want to take a look at Gomez’s money in the bank power plus speed combo. That plus Bauer easily makes this package worth any of Votto, Davis, or Upton…. easily.

            • uncdrew says:
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              @Speedy McGreedy:

              I take Gomez in all of those, even without the add-on player.

    • JeF WiTH 1 F says:
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      @Tommot: Gomez first 2 and Upton on the last one

      • J-FOH says:
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        @JeF WiTH 1 F: why would you take Upton over Carlos Gomez and Bauer?

        • JeF WiTH 1 F says:
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          @J-FOH: Because you took Gomez for all 3 so i wanted to be different….I learned that by watching you

          • J-FOH says:
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            @JeF WiTH 1 F: see thats the difference between you and me, among others reasons, I do it based on analysis that I can back up and you just give your one word responses based on how you think someone else will respond.

            • JeF WiTH 1 F says:
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              @J-FOH: Yeah ok… i respond with how i feel about the question and i look at numbers as much as the next guy. My response doesnt have to be long winded to be valid….I know your always looking to discredit anything i say so im good and expect it at this point. We all know the commenters you like…Lucky them

              • J-FOH says:
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                @JeF WiTH 1 F: You assume I disagree with you because I dont care for your gimmicks, but since you feel a duty to answer every question in here do you think there might be times out of all those many answers I don’t agree? Don’t be so vain. I answer every question honestly and with a thoughtful attention to the needs of that commenter, if extra info is needed I ask them more about their league. So to question my integrity in here really shows who you are more than what I am. I take this very seriously and want to help people get better at this game and win their leagues.

            • JeF WiTH 1 F says:
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              @J-FOH: I just analyzed your opinion…….It Sucks

              • K-DOGG says:
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                @JeF WiTH 1 F:

                Jef with 1 F and JFOH with 1 F, you guys are hilarious! Maybe it’s the avatar synergy…

  7. Punk says:
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    Question for you, Grey. 12-team mixed, 5×5. My Dozier and Tillman for his Samardzija and Odor.

    Rationale: I’m trying to unload Dozier early on before people realize he was way over his head last year and his pull-everything strategy is not sustainable (and Odor replaces most of the value). Trying to trade high on Tillman. For Samardzija, I don’t think he’s as good as his ADP, but I think he’s better than people’s overreaction. I also have Kipnis. What say you, FML? Thanks.

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Punk: If you have Kipnis I’d take the Shark and Odor. Is this a keeper?

      • Punk says:
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        @J-FOH: Yes, it’s a keeper. Dozier was my 6th and last keeper this year (keep forever, snake draft). I agree with the others – I think I can use Dozier to get more than Samardzija, so I am going to hold. Thanks for the help.

        • J-FOH says:
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          @Punk: not sure how much of a better arm you can get, if an arm is what you want

    • Speedy McGreedy says:
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      @Punk: I agree that having Kipnis allows you to unload Dozier if you must, but I think you can do better than Samardzija and Rougned. I’m holding on Dozier myself. I don’t think he loses much on the power but takes a step forward on avg and sb.

    • JeF WiTH 1 F says:
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      @Punk: Eh…Not really feeling that trade

  8. Moustard says:
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    Have Bauer in all my three leagues (two of them Keeper). Could kiss you for that.

    Have Salazar in two of them. Still holding on. Could kick you for that.

    Let’s see how my feelings for you will be in 4 weeks. Hopefully less shizo and less kicko, too!

  9. piranhaman says:
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    Hi Grey.
    Would you start these guys today?

    Derek Holland vs HOU
    Mike Fiers vs PIT.

    I think Holland needed more starts in ST. And i don’t trust Fiers totally because of his soft velocity. Just sit them and watching first starts or start them with no fears?

    • JeF WiTH 1 F says:
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      @piranhaman: Im starting both

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @piranhaman: I wouldn’t own Holland, but would start both if I did

      • Fireball Feliz says:
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        @Grey: Oh ye of little faith

  10. Jonas says:
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    What did you think about Daniel Norris yesterday against NY?

    • Cram It says:
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      @Jonas: I thought he was just okay. Nothing getting me excited there.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Jonas: Nothing worth discussing yet, he needs another start

      • Jonas says:
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        @Grey: Is this how you are also approaching Archie Bradley?

  11. Ante GALIC says:
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    Grey!

    Fun stuff, man!

    The following players were dropped in my league.

    a. Carrasco

    I dropped Norris to put in a waiver claim.

    b. Kipnis

    I dropped Devon to put in a waiver claim.

    c. Hamels

    I dropped Hahn to put in a waiver claim.

    I’m 9/10 in the order, will let you of any results. If I get all 3, I’m set for the season.

    Please rate these drops in order of craziness with 10 being the craziest. I won’t tell you the players that were added to drop these studs because it’s bad enough they were being dropped.

    Cheers,
    Ante

    • Malicious Phenom says:
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      @Ante GALIC: WTB kind of league do you play in where guys drop those kind of players?

      Is there any openings?? LOL

      • Ante GALIC says:
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        @JoeC: @Malicious Phenom: MP!!! No openings, this is a seasonal re-draft H2H points league which was drafted (snake draft) end February of this year. Seems like a panic move, do not understand and all three moves from the SAME team!!!

        Cheers,
        Ante

        • Speedy McGreedy says:
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          @Ante GALIC: In my leagues, we call that tanking, and the team that does it gets its manager replaced and all recent moves reversed.

          • Chicken Dinner says:
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            @Speedy McGreedy: If their is money involved you are a lucky man.

    • Jordan73 says:
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      @Ante GALIC: Side question – will there be any openings in your league next year?

    • JoeC says:
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      @Ante GALIC: If you don’t win this league, you should quit fantasy baseball.

    • Catcher Fever says:
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      @Ante GALIC: I assume thus is the league where CarGo got drafted in the 18th round?

      Bragging about this league does not make you look good.

  12. Malicious Phenom says:
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    Why no mention for Evan “DOUBLE GOLDEN SOMBRERO” Gattis.

    That is correct, doode has now struck out 8 times in a row…

    • Steve Stevenson says:
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      @Malicious Phenom: And the Astros traded TWO of their top 10 prospects (out of a loaded system, so not scrubs) for this guy!

      That team will be sniffing mediocre this year, but I’m streaming away against them as they’ll K a TON. The 2-5 of their order has been Springer-Valbuena-Gattis-Carter, with Rasmus at 7. That’s easily 5K/gm for the opposing pitchers, and that’s not even accounting for the scrub 8/9 hitters.

      • J-FOH says:
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        @Steve Stevenson: that feels a little over reacting for the results against 2 studs and a rising stud. It’s one series against great pitching

        • Malicious Phenom says:
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          @J-FOH: I am sure Gattis will be fine, he’s also adjusting to being a DH for the first time..

          • J-FOH says:
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            @Malicious Phenom: I dont see what DH’ing has to do with it

            • Malicious Phenom says:
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              @J-FOH: Gattis said he is adjusting to sitting around all game as opposed to playing the field and he just doesn’t feel comfortable, sitting around just to go up and hit every few innings..

              • J-FOH says:
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                @Malicious Phenom: sounds like a cop out on his part

        • Steve Stevenson says:
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          @J-FOH: No really. I felt that way going into the season, and while your points about the SSS opposition are true, they certainly don’t change things.

          Just quick and dirty, if you take the 162-game avg for those 5 guys (from baseball ref) you get 857 Ks over a full season, or 5.29/G. Now of course none of them are playing a full 162, but barring injury they’ll be in the lineup most days, Gattis will definitely play more than he has due to not catching, and even on their off days the replacements will K some. And they aren’t even the bottom of the order guys. Certainly seems like opposing starters are looking at a high K floor against this team.

          • Steve Stevenson says:
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            @Steve Stevenson: Not saying they’ll K 12x/G like they have, but I could see them challenging their 2013 record for Ks in a season, which’d put them well over 9/G.

          • J-FOH says:
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            @Steve Stevenson: we knew coming in the Astros would K a lot. That line-up is all boom or bust on any given day. It s just too early to write off the Gattis deal after one series. They have the deepest system in baseball and made a move to help them now.

            • Steve Stevenson says:
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              @J-FOH: I like Gattis just fine, but even if he hits 35 bombs this year that was a bad deal.

    • Evgeni Eckhart says:
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      @Malicious Phenom: I was wondering the same thing.

    • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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      @Malicious Phenom: now THAT’s dumpster diving

  13. Shoop da Whoop says:
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    Before the season started, I was bummed I ended up with 0 shares of Pineda. After watching him sit at 88-89 after the 1st inning with his fastball, I’m okay with not carrying him anywhere.

    Shane Greene, however… wow. I know it came against the Twins, but that was a clinic yesterday. He was ahead of every hitter. It was like watching Phil Hughes if Hughes could make people miss.

  14. JeF WiTH 1 F says:
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    FACT of THE DAY:

    In the state of Arizona it is illegal for Donkeys to sleep in bathtubs

    • My Wood is LONGoria says:
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      @JeF WiTH 1 F: Where was the factiod 6 months ago when I needed it?