Starling On The Dock Of The Bay

July 29, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 423 Comments

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On a treadmill, Billy Beane screaming at Jonah Hill, “Get me Starling Marte!” as he presses the speed faster and faster. Now, he’s at a brisk pace that could be described as, “Miguel Sano rolling downhill.” Jonah Hill, knowing he has to do as his boss says, or risk being fired, trades Jesus Luzardo for Starling Marte and that’s when…The music rises. All we see is a bandana tied around the back of a head. Tight close-up and we see a finger wave. Another close-up and we see someone putting their hand to ear to hear crowd noise. A little kid stands on a chair, and points, “Mah gawd, that’s Kim Ng’s music!” It is her, and she just fleeced Billy Beane. Yo, yo, YO YO YO, how do you trade a Starling Marte rental for Jesus Luzardo? The Marlins will show you how. Jesus Luzardo can be an ace as soon as next year and Marte? Well, who knows where he’ll be next year. Crazy value there for the Marlins. That’s how you do rebuilding and why I was giving such crap to the Pirates the other day over Adam Frazier. Though, giving crap to the Pirates is fun. They like it too, right? Pirates like anything to do with booty. As for Marte in his new home, welp, that park sucks, but it’s not like Crayola Canyon is a great park, and Marte’s more of a five-category performer than reliant on power. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

“Take It To The Graveman” No Longer About Cheating Secrets In Houston

July 28, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 349 Comments

by: Grey

Kendall Graveman was traded to the Astros with Rafael Montero for Abraham Toro and Joe Smith. So, I am now asking, what on earth is going on there? Is that a real trade? That trade made it seem like the Mariners’ front office wished they never made Tuesday night’s comeback. That’s a trade a last place team does with a first place team that’s in another division. Pardon the pun, but that Toro trade is fishy as hell. Unless I’m missing something, or the Mariners are like, “We need Toro, because the Padres love fatty tuna and we have to send him there for Hosmer.” Otherwise, that is just, well, bad, and hard to understand. Then the Mariners went out and got Tyler Anderson out from under the Phils’ nose, which is a long, green snout. Phillies tried to send a helmet stuffed with caramel popcorn and Pirates were like, “Hey, this guy’s getting stuck in my teeth.” So, a team with France isn’t waving the white flag? What goes on here? This is so crazy confusing! As for the Mariners’ pen, Paul Sewald, who has been great, takes over as closer. He could’ve been great with Graveman there too, though. As for Graveman? Engrave it with “RIP your fantasy value.” As for Tyler Anderson, he has a wicked cutter, and a very stable ERA of 4.30-ish, which is fine for real baseball and the Streamonator, but this trade doesn’t make him great. As for Toro, he homered last night in a pinch-hit appearance. It was almost like he knew what pitch was coming. Hmm… Well, Toro is a utility player for now, until the M’s get rid of Seager. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

White Sox Reveal Party Shows It’s Eloy!

July 27, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 311 Comments

by: Grey

Off screen we hear screaming, “Who buried me?” A hand shoots out of the dirt, and that hand grabs some dirt, pulling it back inside. After some chomping, we hear, “It tastes like Oreo crumbs.” You’re not buried Eloy Jimenez, you have a sundae on top of you because you’re so tasty! Yo, Eloy Jimenez is a snack for coming back so fast. Am I using that correctly? The snack term. Is that right? Sometimes I walk into the potato chip aisle at the supermarket and say real loud, “I don’t need any chips, I’m already a snack,” then I sizzle my finger on my butt. Am I the only that does this? Not to answer but to nod encouragingly. Eloy Jimenez (0-for-4) returned last night from his season-ending-injury-that-wasn’t-a-season-ending-injury. From this point forward, there’s no reason to think he can’t be a top 25 overall player as we thought he would before the injury. Only wish I hadn’t dropped him in every league! Haha, I’m so dumb, as I sit on Chris Sale, Noah Syndergaard, Luis Severino and Carlos Carrasco. Great stuff, Snack Grey! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Frazier Goes West Again But Not Seattle

July 26, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 439 Comments

by: Grey

Serious question, are the Pirates stupid or purposely being daft? Is this some kind of long game con that I’m not clued in on? They traded Adam Frazier, who might be their best trade chip, five days before the deadline, and they got back SS Tucupita Marcano, OF Jake Suwinski and RHP Michell Miliano. I might’ve made up some of those names and you have no idea. Maybe the Pirates couldn’t have done better, but don’t you at least try for another five days? Pirates hear one offer and are like, “Ya know what, that sounds good, whatever you want to give us.” So, Adam Frazier is helped by this trade, because now he’s presumably the leadoff man on top of a much better lineup. He doesn’t gain power or speed, but he’s a contact guy so more runs. The guy hurt the most here is Jurickson Profar, but his hitting hurt him 2nd most. Over in Pittsburgh, this gives Wilmer Difo a chance to move out of a Platoon, and into the Green Goblin costume! Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’ve Got Buy J.D. Davis Eyes

July 23, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 268 Comments

by: Grey

(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH OR $13/MONTH WITH AN EXTRA WEEKLY PODCAST.)

J.D. Martinez was first to the Just Dong nickname, even though recently Jeff Bezos tried to co-op it himself:

Well, put aside your Dongs, Just and Jeff! There’s a new Just Dong in the picture. It’s J.D. Davis aka Jonathan Davis Davis aka Jefferson Davis Davis aka Just Dong Davis. Was surprised to see him only rostered in 35% of ESPN leagues, so ding-ding Just Dong, you’re eligible for the Buy column! Back in 2019, Jonathan Davis Davis had his star mitzvah, which had us all scratching our heads, “Did the Astros really lose a trade to the…Mets?” Appizzarently, they did. The only thing stopping J.D. Davis from taking that next step was. Dot dot dot. His health. But he’s good now, and he has himself a rocket ship to the rotating planet of Third Outfielder With Rising Fantasy Value. It’s an outlying planet, but it’s worth making space on your team. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Tampa Finally Acquires An Age-Appropriate Player In Cruz

July 23, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 149 Comments

by: Grey

At 41 years of age, thus begins Nelson Cruz‘s 2nd act where he becomes a lights-out reliever. You might be thinking, why would the Rays trade for Nelson Cruz? Well, MLB announced a Silver Fox Program where they will give money to seniors who need caretakers, so the Rays can get a $250/week stipend. “Eat your stewed carrots, Nelson.” “Not now, Brett Phillips! I’m up at-bat!” Wait until Nelson Cruz gets a load of Yandy Diaz’s 34-inch pythons and -4 Launch Angle. He’s gonna be like, “Yo, Yandy, have you considered upper cutting a tad?” Nelson Cruz about to make himself and Yandy better. So, Nelson Cruz was traded to the Rays for Joe Ryan and Drew Strotman. I’ll leave those to Prospect Itch to go over. Though, the Rays do seem to just wave their hand and say, “You will give us what we want,” like they’re Obi Wan. As for Cruz’s new fantasy value? C’mon. He’s 41, and can hit it out of Yellowstone. No new value. Cruz hasn’t had something new since he got an earring in 1987 when he was running with the Brat Pack. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Reds Must’ve Misread Stroman Because Their Bats Were Frosty

July 22, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 290 Comments

by: Grey

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You could set your watch by Marcus Stroman. In almost a 1,000 career innings, he has a 7.4 K/9, 2.5 BB/9, 3.60 xFIP, and a 13.3% HR/FB. This year? 7.5 K/9, 2.1 BB/9, 3.59 xFIP, and 13.5% HR/FB. In a world full of unknowns like: Why does Sirius only have a Yacht Rock channel in the summer? Why did I scream at a supermarket employee the other day, “I stan my deodorant, even if it’s against it!” only to realize later at home the bottle read anti-stain? Or why has no one come up with vitamints — vitamin/mints? These are unknowns. Marcus Stroman, that guy is a known, and his known is a solid number three fantasy starter. Yesterday, Marcus Stroman went 8 IP, 1 hit, 1 walk, 7 Ks in 90 pitches, ERA at 2.59. Perhaps most impressively is how that terrible pitching park, Great American Ballpark, didn’t even affect him, but that’s because of his 51% GB rate. Yes, that’s on par with past seasons too. What’s someone with no upside or downside? Marcus Stroman is Side. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Tou-Tou Bravely Pirouettes Past The Padres

July 21, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 333 Comments

by: Grey

Who’s going to win their fantasy league? …did you just point at yourself? Okay, you might win your fantasy league, but I was setting myself up with a thought. The people who are going to win their fantasy leagues this year are the ones navigating the rough terrain of having zero pitchers healthy. Zippo, zilch, N to the ada. It’s going to be imperative to find well-rested starters who are able to throw another 60+ IP innings. Guys, who much like Jeff Bezos, aren’t taxed. Enter stage right…*curtain moves but no one enters*…pull the cord to open the curtains! Suddenly, Touki Toussaint stumbles through. Yesterday, Touki Toussaint threw a gem vs. the Padres — 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks in his first MLB start of the year. In addition to the Ks, he induced nine ground balls with solid command. Most importantly this year, he’s capable of throwing another 60+ IP. Now, Touki, take a curtain call! Actually, don’t. We don’t have time. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Josiah Gray Prepped To Raise The Barn Roof On Expectations

July 20, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 287 Comments

by: Grey

Dodgers announced their top pitching prospect Josiah Gray will make his major league debut today. There’s gonna be so many Grays/Greys in the majors, it’s gonna be like 50 Shades of Grey, and you’re gonna be pouring candle wax on your nips while drafting your fantasy teams. “Ow, Grey, please let me just type up this memo to HR without you tweaking my areolae!” That’s gonna be you wishing you could get all these Gray/Greys out of your head. But. You. Can’t. *Cue evil laugh that turns into a coughing fit* So, here’s Prospect Itch with the sitch, “(Josiah Gray) played 72 games at shortstop across his two college seasons but shifted to the mound full-time as a pro and has been incredibly effective in his brief career. At 6’1” with excellent ride on his his four-seamer and two benders he can bury, Gray’s traits are ideal for succeeding in the pitching paradigm that dominates our game now. His athleticism enables plus command that might be elite when all is said and done and has been good enough already to limit batters to just four home runs across four levels of minor league baseball–three of those coming in the hitter friendly California League. The Dodgers didn’t need his assistance in 2020, but I suspect he was ready to succeed if called upon and will be eager to answer the bell early in 2021. He’s a redraft target for me in deep leagues and someone I’ll be adding in shallow leagues when it seems his time is nigh. Gray is the man Grey is not.” Okay, not cool. His numbers are awesome this year — 12.6 K/9, 1.2 BB/9, 2.87 ERA, but he doesn’t seem able to rack up innings (15 2/3 IP). Never the hoo! I added JoJo Gray in two NL-Only leagues, and would grab him in the shallowest of mixed leagues too, if I needed to chase the upside dragon JoJo Pitcher, Your Career Is Calling. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Angels Make Space To Add Marsh In

July 19, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 343 Comments

by: Grey

Welcome back to the 2nd half where we make our fake dolla dolla bills dreams come true! Or we gently guide you to our fantasy football advice. I’m wearing Isotoners while typing this, one love Dan Marino! Damn, I love that guy. Is he still playing? Okay, enough nonsense. During my medical procedure last Tuesday, the anesthesiologist said to me he thought dogs were angels on earth, and, as I drifted off, I said to him, “I hope you’re not Dr. Death.” Well, that anesthesiologist had Angels on his mind for some reason beyond my understanding, and so do I because the Angels are making money moves, calling up their top prospect, Brandon Marsh (0-for-4). Here’s what Prospect Itch said, “A pre-swing bat wrap saps a bit of Marsh’s reaction time and contact ability. Aside from that hitch—not a load in his case as his hands aren’t in the hitting position synced up with his hips when it ends—Marsh is a great baseball prospect. A potentially elite defender with plus power and speed, he’ll get every opportunity to learn on the job at the highest level. He should be fine as long as he’s not as dumb as Grey.” What the heck! Maddon says he will be playing Marsh in center, so I grabbed Marsh in one 15-team mixed league, and my RCL, but I could see dropping him in the 12-team mixer by this time tomorrow. Or as Brandon Marsh says, “Don’t harsh the Marsh.”

Brandon Marsh just wants to know where the doobies are pic.twitter.com/uSzRZKLIcl

— Razzball (@Razzball) July 18, 2021

Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Buy Josh By Golly

July 16, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 417 Comments

by: Grey

(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH OR $13/MONTH WITH AN EXTRA WEEKLY PODCAST.)

So, this Buy/Sell is unlike other Buy/Sells — “Ma nish tah na Buy/Sell,” as Rowdy Tellez would say — this is different because this isn’t a waiver wire smorgasbord for the smorgas-bored. This isn’t guys to grab off waivers who are rostered in under 50% of leagues. Since there’s been very few games since my last Buy/Sell, that column still applies for most guys. A few under-50% rostered guys will show up here, but this is mostly for trading. Or as Michael Milken would call it, “Ripping off the other guy and/or girl.” Let’s start Milken’ing some stunods! (That sounds like someone who was hired to work for Jordan Belfort, but was like 40 years older than everyone else and struggled to fit in.) “Hey, Jordan, we’re Milken’ing them stunods now!” Ha, I’m snorting to myself. Any hoo! Josh Donaldson. Damn, I don’t even like this guy, but his Statcast numbers are about as sweet as you can find. He’s top 2% in the league for Exit Velocity; top 4% for barrels; top 10% for xWOBA and BB% and top 8% for xSLG and HardHit%. There’s no telling when a guy can get scorching hot, but by going off those numbers alone, Donaldson could be a 2nd half MVP. He is a clearcut guy who should be better. It’s time to Milken them like no udder! I am very juvenile. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Top 100 for 2nd Half of 2021 Fantasy Baseball

July 12, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 505 Comments

by: Grey

Welcome, prematurely balding men and five women who are married to PBMs and decided if you can’t beat them, join them! Make yourself comfortable, this is gonna be a long post. Here, enjoy some coffee. Oops, you just drank rat poison. I should’ve used different mugs. Don’t worry, it can’t be worse than rostering Cody Bellinger in the 1st half. Oh, you rostered him, and that’s why you drank the poison. Now, I’m following! Hey, I’m supposed to be leading! Before we get into the top 100 for the 2nd half of 2021 fantasy baseball, let’s just be glad our 18-year-old selves can’t see us now, we’d get beat up! But our twelve-year-old selves would think we’re the coolest! So, as with all of the other 2021 fantasy baseball rankings, slop this up with a grain of salt. If you need a 2nd baseman, but an outfielder is above him that doesn’t mean you can’t trade that outfielder for that 2nd baseman. Also, things change in fantasy baseball. Daily. I could put Fernando Tatis Jr. number one, and he could pull a–Well, we won’t even mention an injury with FTJ after we lost Tildaddy. As I say about the Giancarlo underwear I bought off eBay, why soil a good thing? This list is a road map for where I think guys are valued. It’s not the Holy Grail in the Church of Grey, that would be my mustache. This list is NOT (caps for emphasis, not aesthetics) where I see guys ending up if you were to take their first half and combine it with the 2nd half. This is simply a list of the top hundred fantasy baseball players if you were to pick them up today. So while Juan Soto did not have the greatest first half, he will appear on this list because, well, we have to believe in miracles — my 12-year-old self would want that, and to sleep with Cher. 12-Year-Old Grey loved Cher. The projections are not their combined 1st half and 2nd half numbers; these are their projections for the 2nd half of 2021. I also liberally used our rest of the season Fantasy Baseball Player Rater. That’s right, we have a Player Rater that tells you what players will do. It’s like that camera from The Twilight Zone. Welcome to the future! Anyway, here’s the top 100 for fantasy baseball for the 2nd half of 2021:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Author: Grey

Read some of Grey's 4921 posts

Starling On The Dock Of The Bay

“Take It To The Graveman” No Longer About Cheating Secrets In Houston

White Sox Reveal Party Shows It’s Eloy!

Frazier Goes West Again But Not Seattle

I’ve Got Buy J.D. Davis Eyes

Tampa Finally Acquires An Age-Appropriate Player In Cruz

Reds Must’ve Misread Stroman Because Their Bats Were Frosty

Tou-Tou Bravely Pirouettes Past The Padres

Josiah Gray Prepped To Raise The Barn Roof On Expectations

Angels Make Space To Add Marsh In

Buy Josh By Golly

Top 100 for 2nd Half of 2021 Fantasy Baseball