by: Grey
Connelly Early (5 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 11 Ks) was called up by the Red Sox. He sounds like a character in The Banshees of Inisherin who you can’t understand a word they’re saying, so you put on subtitles but the subtitles are phonetic and also impossible to understand so you just nod along […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Dodgers losing two games in three days where their starters didn’t give up hits through seven innings felt like a nightmare scenario dreamt up by Elias Sports Bureau, but it’s just Blake Treinen his best. Sadly, Treinen and Tanner Scott (1 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, the only hit the Dodgers allowed yesterday, and his […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Nothing is normal in Seattle this year. It’s like grunge has returned but as a clean-shaven Buddy Holly Happy Days music. Coffee is now tea, and the space needle is shooting adrenaline directly into our hearts. This team is an offensive juggernaut, emphasis on jugger, deemphasize naut. They were in Atlanta yesterday, who is also […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Every time I see J. Jackson in the Orioles’ lineup, I have to do one thing. Do you know what I do? This is like a Buzzfeed Quiz, How Well Do You Know Grey? If you guessed I see J. Jackson and start yelling like Joe Jackson, “You’ll never amount to anything!” at my life-sized […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Mets’ conveyor belt of young impressive arms wraps around the world at the Equator, then loops up over South America like two suspenders and the head, Jeremy Hefner, is Canada, and the crotch area is whatever David Peterson’s done the last month and the armpits in New Jersey and Los Angeles (my two homes, aw, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
I kinda like the searching I have to do now to make sense of a pitching line. It’s like: “Ooh, Cade Horton is through five innings and he’s got a no hitter with only one walk and six Ks (or 5 IP, 0 ER, 0 hits, 1 walk, 6 Ks, ERA at 2.78). He’s managed […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
“He missed May.” That’s the note I have Post-It’d next to the name Jazz Chisholm Jr. in my brain. Yesterday, he went 3-for-4, 3 RBIs with a double slam (27, 28) and legs (26), as he hits .243. The counting stats are weak-ish; for some reason he’s hitting 7th, but a 30/30 season is hard […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
I’m not one to yearn for the long-gone, halcyon days, waning nostalgic for the old stuff. Faster games are nice, I like the pitch clock and I don’t miss watching pitchers hit. 40-man rosters though? Ah, the salad days. Back in the day (2019), rosters would turn from a soda can to a Foster’s. We’d […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
A creepy guy in a long trench coat, “Hey, wanna see something?” He flashes open his coat and inside the coat is dozens of corner infielders. That’s the Reds. They are the horniest anyone’s ever been for a corner infielder. Honestly, I didn’t even know that was a fetish, but I am not here to […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
If you blink at Matt Wallner‘s stats, you can see how he could be a perennial 30+ homer guy hitting .250+. Not a hard blink either, but a fast, something-in-your-eye flutter. If you blink super fast, you see ATT. If you blink super, super fast, you see TWA. Lots of old brands. Don’t see Wetzel’s […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Saw someone recently make the case that Kyle Schwarber (4-for-6, 9 RBIs, 46th, 47th, 48th and 49th homers) would be a terrible Hall of Famer. Not like he’d enter the Hall and pee on the memorabilia, but as in he does not belong. Well, I say, I want a Hall where he does belong! Assuming […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
I made char sui pork recently. Was very good, easy too! Slather a bunch of stuff on the pork belly, roast it for five hours and slob-down on the oink. Nah’mean? That feeling I had when I was slob-downing on the oink that was what it was like having so many of these Jays/Twins hitters! […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?