Phillies Retire Roy’s Number While Zack Retires Mets’ Lumber

August 9, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 330 Comments

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On the day the Phils retired Roy Halladay’s uniform number, Zack Wheeler was the first Phillies pitcher to retire 22 consecutive batters in a start since May 29, 2010 — Roy Halladay’s perfect game. How does baseball baseball so entirely? Of course, Roy Halladay Day was going to feature a complete game shutout vs. the Mets. It’s baseball baseballing. Anything else would’ve been shocking. Can you just bet the Mets will suffer? Does Vegas take that sorta bet? Awkward segue alert! The Patreon podcast is booked to do a live show in Vegas with me, Donkey and Billy. Details are on the podcast. So, how do you bet the Mets will suffer? Do you bet something like, “I want…The Mets to suffer plus ‘will be swept,’ plus ‘while being shutout,’ plus ‘while going against the ex-Mets pitcher, Zack Wheeler (9 IP, 0 ER, 2 hits, 1 walk, 11 Ks, ERA at 2.42),’ plus ‘while losing 1st place.'” That’s like a Quinella combined with a Pick 6. Wheeler has the 2nd best xFIP of qualified starters; 2nd best FIP if you prefer that; 3rd best xERA if you want that; 10.4 K/9, 2 BB/9, his best velocity of his career (!) and best SwStr%. It’s hard to imagine Zack Wheeler being ranked any lower than the top five starters for 2022 fantasy baseball. Since he’s an ex-Met, that might be the bonus number on the Pick 6. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Buy The Straw That Stirs The SAGNOF Drink

August 6, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 256 Comments

by: Grey

(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH OR $13/MONTH WITH AN EXTRA WEEKLY PODCAST.)

Standing at a box that appears to be a dynamite detonator, we follow a thick black wire out of the box and down the road to its natural conclusion. At the other end, a mile down the road, the wire is in a cup of Hong Kong milk tea filled with boba. We realize now that was not a dynamite detonator but Grey wearing a box instead of clothes, and that wire was a mile-long straw to suck boba. Suddenly, I shoot up in bed, sweating, screaming, “Myles Straw!” Then, as I get my bearings, I mutter, “Wow, what a dream,” then boba starts dribbling out of my mouth. An animated question mark forms above my head and I ask, “Was it a dream?” So, speed is nowhere. Myles Straw is currently in the top five for steals in the majors, and he was just traded to a team that is running out the clock on its name, i.e., he can run every time he’s on base. Also, he’s the best fit for the everyday leadoff spot. So, you’re thinking, “Grey, you’re silly handsome, but if Straw, um, sucks — hehe, I made a joke — who cares if he’s leading off?” Straw doesn’t, um, suck. He’s a 60-grade hit tool guy, who could hit .280. Sure, he has no power, but you’re not grabbing Straw for power; he’s for speed, runs and potentially average. I love Straw! *sneezes* Sorry, I have hay fever. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Hilliards Are Alive With The Sound of Boomstick

August 6, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 225 Comments

by: Grey

Yesterday, Sam Hilliard went 1-for-4 with his 7th homer, and 3rd homer in the last 4 games. It’s no coincidence his hot streak started this week. Last weekend, Hilliard was dealing with a hitch in his swing and striking out even in batting practice. He saw Trevor Story (2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 14th and 15th homer) walking by and asked him for some help. Trevor responded, “Listen to me, I hate this organization and if you help me sell the stadium for one penny on eBay I will help you.” And that’s how Trevor Story helped Hilliard and how a 15-year-old in Fox Creek, Colorado came into possession of Coors Field. It’s been a crazy good week to grab an outfielder off waivers, huh? Olivares, Soler, Hilliard, oh my! More guys will be coming this afternoon in the Buy column, but Hilliard is here now. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Dodgers Place Max Betts

August 5, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 274 Comments

by: Grey

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In the front row of Dodger Stadium, an empty seat adorned with only everything bagel seasoning and suspenders commemorating Larry King sat to the right of home plate. Still there in person, Mary Hart recounted how Larry used to say, “Something smells funny in my Duane Kuiper.” A big game for the Dodgers, make no mistake. Almost as big as the game they lost the night before. This game they wouldn’t come up short, especially with Jake Odorizzi (3 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 4.95) helping. Mookie Betts (2-for-5 and his 16th and 17th homer) led the way, showing why he’s Mookie Best. The celebrities weren’t just in the stands, as Will Smith (1-for-3, 3 RBIs) hit his 15th homer. The big story, of course, was the debut of the newly-acquired Max Scherzer (7 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 2.75). One film exec in the crowd was heard saying, “He wouldn’t be half-bad if he had the same color eyes.” Oh, and A.J. Pollock (2-for-4, 2 RBIs) hit his 14th homer, and he’s been about 500 spots better than Cody Belanger on the Player Rater, as Cody now hits out of the eight hole. Hey, the 8-hole is only two spots from ‘falling’ to leadoff, which is what I say as I slowly climb out my window. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Toro Goes From The Bull In Houston To The Big Tuna In Seattle

August 4, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 299 Comments

by: Grey

“We’re going to put all Graveman talk to rest, forever ever, amen. Bow your heads. Please. You with your head half-bowed…you have a crick in your neck? Okay, fine. Here lies the Graveman talk. He was a great teammate, we were told. You know who’s also a great teammate? A guy who is hitting home runs every game and helping your stupid asses win! Okay, you can raise your heads and go get some herring.” Yesterday, Abraham Toro went 2-for-4, 2 runs and his 9th homer, and his 5th homer in last seven games. He was re-christened Vigoda because his first name is Abe and his last name is a fish. It makes sense if you know Barney Miller. In all sincerity, I almost made Toro the lede buy this week, which will be available on our Patreon later today. Also, I’m starting to think Toro might be on my early list of 2022 sleepers. This is Splash and I’ve fallen in love with a fish. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Adell Tells Minor League Teammates Hello From The Other Side

August 3, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 275 Comments

by: Grey

Jarred Kelenic was such a terrific call-up, before he was called up. Jarren Duran was a Hall of Fame lock, before I locked him into my fantasy lineups. Vidal Brujan? A chef’s kiss that can be heard from each of the 27 local Tampa Bay Hooter’s that lands you in the hoosegow for 27 counts of unwanted advances. Wander Franco? More like a cat that’s making me have an allergic reaction, call him Dander Franco. The best rookie bats this year have been Adolis Garcia, who came with no fanfare, and Akil Baddoo, who everyone expected to fall apart due to being a Rule 5. With that MLB (Major Lowering of Bar), please welcome Jo Adell! In Triple-A, he hit 23 HRs — stupendous! Stole 8 bags — I’ll enjoy that! Hit .289 — wow, I’m moving my pants without the help of my hands! And struck out 29.2% — Um. So, he might hit .205, but there’s no leagues where I wouldn’t pick him up. There’s also a chance he might only last on my teams until Sunday. Here’s hoping he’s better than all other call-ups. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Ortega Shells Nats With Three Tacos

August 2, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 331 Comments

by: Grey

I’m still spent from Friday’s trade deadline. It. Dot dot dot. Was. Dot dot dot. Awesome. MLB should have a trade deadline every month. Like musical chairs with walk-up music. “Okay, we have 450 chairs, and when Whomp There It Is stops, you have to be in a chair, ready?” Whomp, and the music stops and everyone sits down, except Trevor Story, who simply just walks off into the sunset. In the distance, we hear Trevor Story cursing out the Rockies. Bud Black smiles, “He loves this organization so much,” Bud calling off, “You’re our forever Rockie!” So, the Cubs sent everyone away, except Rafael Ortega. Smart move or the Ricketts getting lucky while being cheap SOBs? Like a teamster, I’m gonna lean on the latter. Coincidence that Ricketts sounds like a disease you get from a lack of nutrition or no? Any hoo! Rafael Ortega (4-for-4, 5 RBIs) hit three ding-dongs (4, 5, 6), after homering on Saturday. Ortega is 30 years old and has bounced around the minors since 2008, while stealing nearly 40 bags some years, so he has speed too. I’m inclined to say unlikely to continue, but grab while hot. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Each Careful Step Along The Buy Wade

July 30, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 364 Comments

by: Grey

(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH OR $13/MONTH WITH AN EXTRA WEEKLY PODCAST.)

The Giants are Mr. Magoo of the MLB. They’re unknowingly walking up a scaffolding and everyone watching on is expecting them to fall, grimacing at starting Wilmer Flores, screaming, “Be careful if you’re going to start Alex Dickerson.” Mr. Magoo’s Giants can’t keep balancing on the precipice without falling, can they? Yet, the Mr. Magoo Giants just keep winning. At top of their improbable lineup sits, LaMonte Wade Jr. aka LMW aka Lavarian Motor Works. LaMonte Wade Jr. sounds like Sanford & Son’s, uh, son, and, like everyone else on the Giants team, he’s Mr. Magoo’ing his way to incredible value. Lavarian Motor Works has been one of the hottest hitters in the last week on the 7-Day Player Rater. How improbable has it been? LaMonte has more homers this year in the majors than he had in any combined year in the minors, and he’s been in the minors since 2015! Yeah, this is pretty improbable, and he has some serious splits where he sits, but that’s no reason not to grab him. Vroom vroom, it’s time to roll out the latest Lavarian Motor Works on your teams. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Some Fans Feel They Got An A Trade, Some Feel B Trade

July 30, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 234 Comments

by: Grey

Dodgers, Yankees and Padres should just divvy up the entire league and paper, rock, scissors the World Series.

“Paper beats rock.”
“Damn…Oh, man, did you have to bat flip your hand to rub it in? Don’t you know the unwritten rules of paper, rock, scissors?”

No matter how good the Yankees and Padres are, the Dodgers are Standard Oil. So, the full package for Max Scherzer and Trea Turner is: Keibert Ruiz, RHPs Josiah Gray, Gerardo Carrillo; a bagel Larry King once took a bite of and put aside; fan meet ‘n greet with Rob Lowe, Hollywood Walk of Fame star of Mr. Ed; a good parking spot at Trader Joe’s, which seems impossible but whatever; a call from Tom Arnold about this “thing” and someone to intercept the call and jot down notes, and OF Donovan Casey. Let’s look at the Dodgers’ lineup once everyone is healthy:

Betts RF
T Turner 2B
Muncy 1B
J Turner 3B
Seager SS
Smith C
Bellinger CF
Pollock LF
Bench Barnes C, Pujols 1B, Taylor INF/OF, McKinstry INF/OF, McKinney OF/1B
Staff: Scherzer, Buehler, Kershaw, Urias, Price and Danny Duffy. Oh, eff off.

There’s a lot here, so let’s get on the other side of the anyway to break it down. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Starling On The Dock Of The Bay

July 29, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 423 Comments

by: Grey

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On a treadmill, Billy Beane screaming at Jonah Hill, “Get me Starling Marte!” as he presses the speed faster and faster. Now, he’s at a brisk pace that could be described as, “Miguel Sano rolling downhill.” Jonah Hill, knowing he has to do as his boss says, or risk being fired, trades Jesus Luzardo for Starling Marte and that’s when…The music rises. All we see is a bandana tied around the back of a head. Tight close-up and we see a finger wave. Another close-up and we see someone putting their hand to ear to hear crowd noise. A little kid stands on a chair, and points, “Mah gawd, that’s Kim Ng’s music!” It is her, and she just fleeced Billy Beane. Yo, yo, YO YO YO, how do you trade a Starling Marte rental for Jesus Luzardo? The Marlins will show you how. Jesus Luzardo can be an ace as soon as next year and Marte? Well, who knows where he’ll be next year. Crazy value there for the Marlins. That’s how you do rebuilding and why I was giving such crap to the Pirates the other day over Adam Frazier. Though, giving crap to the Pirates is fun. They like it too, right? Pirates like anything to do with booty. As for Marte in his new home, welp, that park sucks, but it’s not like Crayola Canyon is a great park, and Marte’s more of a five-category performer than reliant on power. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

“Take It To The Graveman” No Longer About Cheating Secrets In Houston

July 28, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 349 Comments

by: Grey

Kendall Graveman was traded to the Astros with Rafael Montero for Abraham Toro and Joe Smith. So, I am now asking, what on earth is going on there? Is that a real trade? That trade made it seem like the Mariners’ front office wished they never made Tuesday night’s comeback. That’s a trade a last place team does with a first place team that’s in another division. Pardon the pun, but that Toro trade is fishy as hell. Unless I’m missing something, or the Mariners are like, “We need Toro, because the Padres love fatty tuna and we have to send him there for Hosmer.” Otherwise, that is just, well, bad, and hard to understand. Then the Mariners went out and got Tyler Anderson out from under the Phils’ nose, which is a long, green snout. Phillies tried to send a helmet stuffed with caramel popcorn and Pirates were like, “Hey, this guy’s getting stuck in my teeth.” So, a team with France isn’t waving the white flag? What goes on here? This is so crazy confusing! As for the Mariners’ pen, Paul Sewald, who has been great, takes over as closer. He could’ve been great with Graveman there too, though. As for Graveman? Engrave it with “RIP your fantasy value.” As for Tyler Anderson, he has a wicked cutter, and a very stable ERA of 4.30-ish, which is fine for real baseball and the Streamonator, but this trade doesn’t make him great. As for Toro, he homered last night in a pinch-hit appearance. It was almost like he knew what pitch was coming. Hmm… Well, Toro is a utility player for now, until the M’s get rid of Seager. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

White Sox Reveal Party Shows It’s Eloy!

July 27, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 311 Comments

by: Grey

Off screen we hear screaming, “Who buried me?” A hand shoots out of the dirt, and that hand grabs some dirt, pulling it back inside. After some chomping, we hear, “It tastes like Oreo crumbs.” You’re not buried Eloy Jimenez, you have a sundae on top of you because you’re so tasty! Yo, Eloy Jimenez is a snack for coming back so fast. Am I using that correctly? The snack term. Is that right? Sometimes I walk into the potato chip aisle at the supermarket and say real loud, “I don’t need any chips, I’m already a snack,” then I sizzle my finger on my butt. Am I the only that does this? Not to answer but to nod encouragingly. Eloy Jimenez (0-for-4) returned last night from his season-ending-injury-that-wasn’t-a-season-ending-injury. From this point forward, there’s no reason to think he can’t be a top 25 overall player as we thought he would before the injury. Only wish I hadn’t dropped him in every league! Haha, I’m so dumb, as I sit on Chris Sale, Noah Syndergaard, Luis Severino and Carlos Carrasco. Great stuff, Snack Grey! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Author: Grey

Read some of Grey's 4942 posts

Phillies Retire Roy’s Number While Zack Retires Mets’ Lumber

Buy The Straw That Stirs The SAGNOF Drink

The Hilliards Are Alive With The Sound of Boomstick

Dodgers Place Max Betts

Toro Goes From The Bull In Houston To The Big Tuna In Seattle

Adell Tells Minor League Teammates Hello From The Other Side

Ortega Shells Nats With Three Tacos

Each Careful Step Along The Buy Wade

Some Fans Feel They Got An A Trade, Some Feel B Trade

Starling On The Dock Of The Bay

“Take It To The Graveman” No Longer About Cheating Secrets In Houston

White Sox Reveal Party Shows It’s Eloy!