In solidarity with MLB players, I drove to a cliff on the PCH, overlooking the Pacific Ocean, stepped out of my Sebring while it was still in neutral, locked the doors, and watched as it rolled off the cliff, crashing into the roof of a billionaire’s beachfront home. To illustrate the MLB owners’ position, I went to a Chipotle, and on a sign clearly labeled “pull,” I pushed for hours, screaming, “What happened? Am I locked out? This is totally unfair!” For the fans, I took out a full newspaper ad, pleading for both sides to go back to the negotiating table, and that was seen by the 12 people who still read a hard-copy of the paper. We. Are. United! Which is what I was shouting as I was escorted away from the Delta terminal.
So, no great news has come out about the MLB lockout. I’m not a labor reporter, and won’t bore you while pretending to be. This is an evolving shituation that could change tomorrow or six weeks from now. My guess is there will be movement in the landmark case of sooner vs. later. Hopefully, it won’t last much longer. *wavy lines* The year is 2081. After a 60-year lockout, a deal is finally struck between the 80-year-old player rep, Wander Franco, and Rob Manfred Jr. Jr., the 15-year-old MLB commissioner-slash-influencer who opens graves and harvests human bones for petroleum on TikTok. *wavy lines* Yikes, what kind of dream was that?
If you want this broken down to you in the simplest of terms, I have good news and bad news. The bad news is we already lost one week of games. The good news is you’re not Rob Manfred.
Could anything be more appropriate than Rob Manfred practicing his golf swing on the worst day of his tenure as MLB commissioner? https://t.co/8mI4OlAL0s
— Razzball (@Razzball) March 1, 2022
“It’s all about the fans.” — Rob Manfred, walking past a store that sells ceiling fans. What if Rob Manfred’s real job was to make Bud Selig look good in retrospect? Makes ya think, huh? Ain’t sayin’ anything groundbreaking here, but when MLB owners aren’t losing money by losing games, the system is broken.
Okay, back to fantasy, as I said last week, I was updating my 2022 fantasy baseball rankings, but later on I discussed it with Rudy and we’re holding tight for now, because, honestly, one week missed of games isn’t going to change anything. Two weeks isn’t really anything, either. Later this week, maybe I’ll change my mind and remove a couple weeks from the projections. Maybe I’ll leave the positional rankings’s projections on a 162-game scale and only change my top 500. A few players might actually be benefited by the lockout, and there was some news. So, let’s get on the other side of this “Anyway,” and get to it. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason for 2022 fantasy baseball:
Ronald Acuña Jr. – This lockout stinks. Dot dot dot. But wait one minute! Ronald Acuña Jr. aka Tildaddy was supposed to miss a month of the season. Now, if everyone misses a month of the season, *looks both ways, lowers head, quickly shoots head up and makes a cha-ching sound* Haven’t moved Tildaddy yet in my top 10 for 2022 fantasy baseball, but I could see moving him to top five territory in the coming days. If they’re starting on the same day, are you going Vlad Jr. or Ronnie Jr.? That’s what I’m currently debating. Here’s me vocally debating it. Smash that subscribe!
Clayton Kershaw – Not sure if it’s against HIPAA or something, but my in-law’s friends are staying at a hotel in Arizona where a bunch of Dodgers are also working out, and Kershaw is there. So, my guess is he’s re-signing with the Dodgers, does that mean he’s healthy? No, not really. Does extra time before the season mean he will be healthy? No. Same goes for Carlos Rodon. In my top 60 starters for 2022 fantasy baseball, I say I’m avoiding both, and there’s so many healthy pitchers that I like, I’m not changing for Rodon or Kershaw. Or Zach Eflin. Or any injured pitcher. You want a headache? Draft an injured pitcher.
Max Muncy – In my top 20 1st basemen for 2022 fantasy baseball, I say I’m avoiding Muncy due to injury concern, and unlike Acuña, I’m not back in on Muncy. At least not yet. He had a serious injury and is built like a troll, and I like to pass over bridges without answering a riddle! Okay, it’s mostly the UCL injury.
Nate Pearson – Was told to be ready for the rotation. Ranked Pearson in the top 80 starters for 2022 fantasy baseball, and am way higher on him than most. Happily drafting him in all leagues, and, honestly, am a little confused why he’s not being drafted higher, but I’m also confused by lots of things, so chalking it up to general sense of dur.
Garrett Whitlock – Red Sox clouded their bullpen picture with a giant smudge of confusion. They said Whitlock “…will get a chance to start.” Trust me, I read before the ellipse and after the quote to see if they continued, “…will get a chance to start…the ninth inning.” So, this sucks. Matt Barnes has moved into the temporary lead for the 9th inning job, but the Red Sox could bring in someone and move Barnes to the 8th and Whitlock to a hybrid role. I changed my projections for both and their rankings in my top 500. Hey, what’s Richard Rodriguez up to?
Giovanny Gallegos – Cards’ GM said Gallegos isn’t their closer. That was fun to hear, the day after drafting him in the 12th round of a league. So, Gallegos can be the closer, and until the Cards sign someone else, he’ll be the lead for Cards saves in my top 500, but clearly this is a closerfudge.
Josh Jung – Out for the year, which is basically what I told you back during my last update when I removed him from the top 20 3rd basemen for 2022 fantasy baseball and top 500. Israeli Diner Falafel has 572 at-bats now in the projections, and *mouth falls onto floor, picks mouth back up* five homers.
Lance McCullers – Announced that he was behind in his recovery from a forearm strain that I told you two months ago would require Tommy Joh surgery. Not sure why MLB teams are so slow to react on these things, but obviously McCullers is not returning this year for more than 50 IP. McClearly. My guess is McCullers doesn’t even make it out of Spring Training and isn’t back until 2024. Wasted a good nine months of time he could’ve been recuperating.
Sixto Sanchez – Struggling to regain strength during his rehab and might not be back until July. So, Opening Day. Kidding. I hope. In the top 100 starters for 2022 fantasy baseball, I wrote, “From what I’ve heard and can infer, (Sixto) might be good for only 75+IP. There’s been a lot of question marks about him outside of his shoulder surgery. His dedication level has been getting questioned. Not great for a guy who needs to get his arm strength back.” And that’s me predicting all of this shizz three months ago! Except for the no baseball thing. Long, rueful sigh.