by: Grey
Imagine, if you will, a Vegas-style buffet but instead of King Crab Legs and Filet Mignon there’s top prospects as far as the eye can see. As you walk along, you pick up a Coby Mayo here, a Jackson Holliday there, a Gunnar Henderson here, a Adley Rutschman there, a Jordan Westburg here, a Colton […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?In the least shocking thing if you were paying attention to anything to do with Spencer Torkelson, he was optioned to Triple-A. He had the 2nd lowest OPS in history for 1st basemen (.683), minimum 1200 PA. Yeah, things weren’t going great! Sad for the Comatose Tigers fan from 2020 who just woke, “Tork The […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Singing Dan Hill’s Sometimes When We Touch, “You ask me if I love you, and I choke on my reply, and I rather hurt you honestly, then mislead you with a lie, and who am I to think you can hit like Aaron Judge!” Sobbing as I touch the TV screen where Davis Schneider stands, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
To succeed in chaos, one must embrace chaos. The chaos of the universe, the chaos of the atom. It’s all chaotic. None of it as chaotic as the Mets, however. In the Metiverse, they take their worst hitter and make him their leadoff hitter. They take the best closer and make him bad. They pretend […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Pirates’ doubleheader didn’t start well with Jared Jones going 4 1/3 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 3.69. Hey, Regression Fairies, I hate you. The first game was all Tarik Skubal (7 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 2.01). Why can’t every one-time top prospect pitcher, who hasn’t broken out, break out like […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Braves are calling up one of their top pitching prospects, Spencer Schwellenbach, for today’s game. That’s right, Schwellenbach is a Braves’ pitching prospect, and not what the doctor says every time Brandon Lowe complains of lower back pain. “Sorry, your fourth and fifth vertebrae are pressing against each other. You have a Schwellenbach!” Kinda crappy […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?How dumb is MLB? How about: You have a sport where teams play 162 games and you don’t have every team play on Memorial Day. MLB could own all holidays from April until October. It’s so easy. If you don’t want all day games, fine. Have them play night games. Have them mid-day. Just have […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Ronald Acuña Jr. went down in a heap, seemed almost clearly because of his knee, and, at that point, one person in each fantasy baseball league, who was lucky to have the number one pick in their league spoke to the clouds, asking the Fantasy Baseball Overlord, “Why do you smite me? Am I smite-able? […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Junior Caminero sounds like a store you take your little one to when he wants to dress like a little cowboy. “Jorge, you be daddy’s best boy and I will dress you like a vaquero.” [sees a family of vaqueros walking through the Glendale Galleria] Me, a very Anglo, says to the camera, “I know […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
It’s not a great sign when you have one moment every month where it seems like you’ve finally woken up, then immediately go back to sleep. Could Nick Castellanos (2-for-4 and his 5th homer, hitting .206), the Greek God of Hard Contact be at his mother’s diner being served toast? Is no longer a gyro […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
I started both Freddy Peralta (7 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.81) and Jesus Luzardo (8 IP, 0 ER, 3 hits, zero walks, 4 Ks, ERA at 4.14), then I prayed. Not to any ordinary God, of course. I prayed to the Fantasy Baseball Overlord, and he said, “I’m currently away […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Superlatives, friends, are floating away, just out of our grasp, but let’s try. Precede with accolades: Ranger Suarez (7 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 1.36) moved his record to 9-0. He’s the 4th pitcher in the Live Ball Era with nine wins through his first 10 starts, and an ERA of […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?