by: Grey
Maybe I’m jhuvenile but Jhonkensy Noel has me jhonking my nose in laughter. Jhonkensy? I ain’t Jhonkensy ’round these parts since the tennis courts closed in 2018. Excuse me, sir, my Jhonda’s jhorn stopped Jhonkensy’ing, and I am a very aggressive driver so I really need my jhorn to Jhonkensy. So, the Guards called up […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?[rubbing the plush purple belly of Grimace for good luck] May my dreams that have not yet been realized — like becoming a billionaire and winning my fantasy league, not in that order — come true. “Hello, boys and five girls!” What the heck? You’re not Grimace! Are you freakin’ Barney? “That’s right, boys and […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Yesterday, Heston Kjerstad went 2-for-4, as he was re-called up by the O’s to not play. I mean, they didn’t say that, but how does the old saying go: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, I’m still blaming you. Fool me five, six, seven times by calling up rookies and never playing […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Orelvis Martinez was hit with an 80-game suspension, which is just a perfect encapsulation of the Jays’ season. It’s the Curse of Ohtani’s Plane is In-Flight to Toronto. Highly touted rookie comes up, plays in his 1st MLB game, 24 hours later, suspended for 80 games. That’s the land-speed record for PEDs. Was he taking […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Talked a bit about this on the podcast — you might’ve heard my fifteen different pronunciations of Noelvi Marte. No-el-vee? No-el-Vey? Noelgallaghervee? Some classic “Grey can’t speakisms” in there. Any hoo! — I don’t think PEDs, in the traditional sense, is a thing for most of these guys who are busted in recent years. Maybe […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Baseball is the only sport that can pull off this nostalgia, and I’m not sure why they don’t do it more. Once a month they could put two teams in either a historically significant park or just a park that was a movie set. Field of Dreams game? Once a season. Rickwood Field? Once a […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Gerrit Cole made his 2024 debut last night going 4 IP, 2 ER, 4 baserunners, 5 Ks and throwing 62 pitches–Hold on, someone is ringing my phone. “Hello? Kyle Bradish just underwent successful Tommy John surgery with an internal brace procedure? I thought it wasn’t Tommy John if it’s an internal brace, right? You don’t […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Ben Rice… Uncle Ben’s Rice… Brace for Rice… Rice brace… Grimace! Oh my God! Oh my God! The Yankees are trying to steal the Mets’ glory! Is Ben Rice purple? Is he the shape of a teardrop? Is he purple and the shape of a teardrop?! Does he make love to women incessantly like a […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Yesterday, Francisco Lindor (4-for-4, 3 runs, 2 RBIs) and Brandon Nimmo (3-for-4, 2 runs, 4 RBIs) with his 8th homer showed one of the most important struggles in human history: Not being able to hit to save one’s life vs. being touched by Grimace. I think we know the truth now. Grimace’s magical touch was […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
For Mother’s Day, MLB uses pink bats. My suggestion for Father’s Day is bats with hairy bags hanging off the handle. This suggestion appears to fall on deaf ears, even though I go through the proper channels, filling out all the comment cards in the lobby at MLB headquarters. Even chitchatting with Jim, at security, for […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
This was me seeing if Shane Baz was ready to be stashed: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5…and so on as I counted the months since his surgery. Do you count September of 2022 because that was when he had the surgery or do you start counting with October? Do you count June of 2024 because […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
“There is ample evidence that the public is getting a wee bit tired of all these ‘pitchers duels’,” wrote The Washington Post’s Bob Addie in late-1968. So after the season, MLB officials lowered the mound to 10 inches and shrank the strike zone to its modern size. Cool, after this year, let’s lower the mound […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?