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[brid autoplay=”true” video=”285346″ player=”10951″ title=”Fantasy Baseball Mailbag Week 22″]

Yesterday’s Nationals/Phils game tested my ulcer and said, “Mmm, acidic.” Starting off the calamity, Pat Neshek went 1/3 IP, 2 ER, and the blown save, ERA at 2.08.  Okay, if you’re a closer, you have to get the job done, but — and this is a J. Lo-sized but — why the eff can’t Kapler let him start an inning in a one-run game?  He let Tommy Hunter walk the lead-off man, then Neshek came in to allow a blast to Anthony Rendon (3-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 17th homer).  Up next in the closerousel is…Hector Neris!  Kapler’s already ruined him once, so that gives you an idea of how long it takes for the Phillies’ closerousel to spin, about four months.  Then, Justin Miller came on to close the game for the Nationals.  But oh no, we will nearly blow!  Miller went 1/3 IP, 1 ER and was promptly pulled for…wait for it…oh, this is good…Greg Holland!  Who entered the game with a 6.09 ERA and has been so bad, he got chased out of St. Louie.  Yo, are Davey Martinez and Gabe Kapler running a lemonade stand?  Because I’m getting a real sour face.  In Washington, it’s likely Koda Glover or Ryan Madson’s turn next, but Holland’s got two lips, so he’s as good as anyone.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

[brid autoplay=”true” video=”285346″ player=”10951″ title=”Fantasy Baseball Mailbag Week 22″]

The Padres began yesterday by lifting their brown, monk robe they purchased from the Dan Brown collection and showed their first twig of the prospect tree they have cloaked beneath:  Luis Urias.  Whenever you hear the Padres fans shout about their MI prospect — they scream, “Our Luis Urias,” and they sound like John McEnroe barking at a line judge.  BTW, you know you’re old if you’ve ever asked a barber to give you a Jimmy Connors, and then complained after they gave you a Pete Rose.  Podcaster Ralph and I go over Luis Urias on today’s pod, but, I will give you the general gist, which was also my high school band name.  You might remember General Gist from such noteworthy songs as, “Keep Me Near You Or Thereabouts.”  Urias is a solid all-around bat, think .300 hitter, without huge power or speed.  He’s young though, which means he could blossom, so remain calm.  For now, I will call you, Zen Bobrist.  I would grab him if you’re struggling at MI to see if he can catch fire and master Zen and the Art of MI Maintenance.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

[brid autoplay=”true” video=”284415″ player=”10951″ title=”Fantasy Baseball Buy Sell Hold Week 22″]

Don Mattingly and Ken Griffey Jr. sit in the airport, waiting for their flight out to Toronto, trying to make small talk, “How has post-Hall of Fame life been?”  “Good, good, how has post, uh, mustache life been?”  “Fine, yeah, fine.”  Finally, a Cooperstown employee approaches, “Where do you want Dale Long’s sarcophagus?”  “Are you not staying with it?”  “I was just told to deliver it.  Now, if Kendrys Morales breaks the home run record, you press this button on the side of the sarcophagus.”  Ken and Don look at each other and decide to try the button.  Dale’s sarcophagus opens and what resembles a crypt keeper says, “Wow, I can’t believe he broke our record.  That’s outta sight!”  And Dale’s mummified eyes spin like a slot machine.  This is reenactment of what Mattingly and Griffey are going through as they join Kendrys for the chase of their home runs in eight straight games record.  Yesterday, Morales homered in his 7th straight game, going 1-for-3, 2 RBIs, and that was his 21st homer.  I actually just picked up Kendrys Morales in my RCL league, after I picked up my jaw from surprise that he was still available.  He’s so smooth right now, they call him Kendrys Alba.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

[brid autoplay=”true” video=”284415″ player=”10951″ title=”Fantasy Baseball Buy Sell Hold Week 22″]

A premature grey-haired man and a prematurely balding man sit on a Brooklyn stoop, chatting about the old days.  “I can remember when Ossie Davis sat on this very stoop in Do The Right Thing.”  “It was a simpler time before gentrification.  Now the millennials are killing the bees, mayonnaise and plastic straws.”  Sipping his drink, “My kombucha tastes like paper…stupid biodegradable straw!”  “We were millennials as late as June, what happened to us?”  “We grew old waiting for Vladimir Guerrero Jr.!”  “Stupid millennials and their Super Twos!”  So, as mentioned last week in my Eloy Jimenez fantasy, I’m back here for the other guy who could be called up this week.  Will he?  Unless you’re talking to my groin, and mispronouncing Willie, I haven’t a clue.  I’m not saying Vlad Jr. necessarily will be called up, I’m just saying you stash him for right now.  See what happens when rosters expand in a few days, and, if he’s not called up, you drop him again.  No harm, no foul in holding a guy for a week who could do what Vladimir Guerrero Jr. does.  For more, search the damn site!  We’ve been talking about him for so long we’ve grown old!  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The rich keep getting richer and the poor get poorer.  The middle is being squeezed.  When I Google, “What happened to the middle class?”  I found some socioeconomic theories on Yahoo Answers, and ads to get rich quick and stop having to “steal food from Whole Foods.”  Okay, I have no idea how they know about that, but, if you switch a price tag, it is not exactly stealing.  It’s redistributing “gummies made with real fruit juice.”  All of this is fascinating and all, but I was trying to find out what is happening to the middle class of starters!  Aaron Nola (8 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 9 Ks) and Max Scherzer (7 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 10 Ks) faced each other, and both pitchers have ERAs of 2.13.  Not surprisingly, the police code for fantastic use of arms is 2.13.  Again, there’s top starters with a sub-3 ERA, and there is a ton of starters above 4.00 ERA that I don’t want, but where are the 3.50 ERA pitchers?  Doesn’t it feel like this middle class of pitchers has shrunk?  *coming across something on the internet*  Hmm, maybe this article by a Harvard professor in The Economist will explain it to me.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

[brid autoplay=”true” video=”280818″ player=”10951″ title=”Fantasy Baseball Mailbag Week 21″]

Yesterday, Thomas Pannone took a no-hitter into the 7th inning of his 1st MLB start, and was the 5th pitcher since 1900 to go seven shutout innings with one or less hits and two or less walks, finishing with 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 2 walks, 3 Ks.  More trivia?  You got it!  He sometimes goes by his stepfather’s Polish name, Pannonehits, or his mom’s Czech name, Panntwowalks.  Coincidence?  Pannone says puh-no-way!  He has disavowed his biological Italian father, Panettone.  That guy is a real fruitcake.  Haha, we had some good laughs, huh?  I’m going to take a nap now.  *shuts eyes standing up*  I can hear you tiptoeing behind me.  So, wasn’t able to find a ton on Pannone on site.  Our Prospect-o-Nator that has projections for all rookies doesn’t hate Pannone.  Yes, it projects him for 4.98 ERA, but, trust me, with rookies, that’s not awful.  He’s not listed on any major Jays’ prospect lists likely because he throws 89 MPH.  Woof, and let the dog out so it can woof-woof.  For now, I’d look at him as a streamer.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

[brid autoplay=”true” video=”280818″ player=”10951″ title=”Fantasy Baseball Mailbag Week 21″]

Daniel Murphy traded to the Cubs, after being claimed on waivers.  I’m going to try to wrap my noodle around this one.  My above-the-line noodle.  That’s above-the-line as in waist, not above-the-line as it’s meant in Hollywood.  An above-the-line noodle in Hollywood parlance would mean below-the-line as in waist.  Okay, off track!  *steps in cardboard box designed to look like a car, yells at homeless man ‘driving’ the cardboard box*  Let’s get back on track or I’m going to give you a bad Uber rating!  For Daniel Murphy to get claimed by the Cubs, it means every NL team passed on him.  I realize he can’t pitch, but really, Brewers?  You got screwed on the Archer move, but you can’t use hitting, Pirates?  You didn’t want another reason to prospblock Jo-Ma, Cardinals?  Yo, Phillies, your team batting average is .236; hey, Colorado, you passed on a veteran?  Are you feeling okay?  So, Murphy joins the Cubs, where he should bat third and play 2nd base.  That knocks Javier Baez to 3rd; Ian Happ to a platoon in center with Al-Al, Maddon’s Bae Zobrist becomes a utility man, David Bote dons a GOAT costume once a week as a pinch-hitter, but not a goat costume as in the animal, Kris Bryant learns how to play 1st, Rizzo catches, Schwarber pitches and–so the Cubs are obviously stacked.  This should help Murphy’s fantasy value.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Psyche!  Before we get into the roundup, just wanted to say our Fantasy Football Subscriptions are now live.  Last year, Rudy placed top 5 out of something, like, 15,500 ‘perts who do fantasy football projections.  Maybe it’s closer to 200 ‘perts, but you get the picture.  Plus, it helps the site.  Anyway II, the roundup:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

[brid autoplay=”true” video=”280818″ player=”10951″ title=”Fantasy Baseball Mailbag Week 21″]

The Braves called up Bryse Wilson, their third starter who is under 21 years old (Soroka, Allard) and 4th player (Acuña).  Mean’s while, Vladimir Guerrero Jr. just collected his 3,000th minor league hit.  By the time Vlad Jr. is called up, he will be Vlad Sr.’s brother.  Didja you know in Latin America junior is a term of endearment like when you call that old lady in your family ‘aunt’ even though she’s unrelated?  That’s why so many Jr.’s get to their 2nd year of pro ball and drop the junior.  Right, Raul Mondesi Jr.?  Any hoo!  The Braves called up yet another gorgeous, young prospect.  “That’s what I love about these Braves starters, man. I keep getting older, they stay the same age.” — Matthew McConaughey seeing Bryse Wilson.  Prospector Ralph just gave you his Bryse Wilson fantasy.  He’s also in his top 500 fantasy baseball prospects.  Previously, he said, “A 4th rounder in 2016, Bryse Wilson rode his plus sinking fastball to one of the bigger breakouts of 2017.  His four-seamer sits 92-95 with sink, and commands it extremely well.  His secondaries are far more raw with a power 12-6 curve, and a fringe changeup.  Speaking of Wilson, I’d like to spike Grey like a volleyball.”  Okay, not cool!  Yesterday, Wilson went 5 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks, as the Braves bumped everyone in their rotation back a day.  The big thing that struck me about Bryse is he looks like he’s been doing it for years (which could be said of the other young Braves players).  About to call him Poyse Wilson.  Seems weird to call him up to just send him back to the minors, so gotta expect him to stay up.  In shallower redrafts, I’d view Wilson as a streamer, but I did grab him in two mixed league redrafts.  He’s obviously a decent keeper in deep leagues (10.8 K/9, 0.9 BB/9 in only 20 Triple-A innings), especially now that’s he’s up with rest of the Braves’ Poyse of Summer.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

[brid autoplay=”true” video=”279908″ player=”10951″ title=”Fantasy Baseball Buy Sell Hold Week 21″]

Guess I pointed you to the wrong White Sox prospect in Friday’s Buy.  Hahaha, no.  I didn’t.  I pointed you to a top hitting prospect that can help you this year.  Michael Kopech is a rookie pitcher.  A boneheaded one.  He used to date the daughter of the crazy white lady from The Real Housewives of Atlanta, then he started that girl from Riverdale, and I guess when I say Kopech is boneheaded, I should explain I wouldn’t mind boneheading like him.  Yo dude is a baller!  He’s also legit dopey.  At one point, he broke his hand by punching his teammate.  This guy has years of ridiculousness headed our way, and we should be grateful for that.  As grateful because he’s the top pitching prospect on Prospect Ralph’s top 500 fantasy baseball prospects, and PR’s said, “Kopech is in my opinion the top ‘fantasy baseball’ pitching prospect in the game. What I mean by that is, on, say, a mainstream list (see: BA, BP, BABP, Fangraphs, etc.) they’ll focus more on the risk vs. upside balance.  Me, I’m going upside, as you always should with pitching prospects in fantasy.  Kopech has the potential to lead MLB in strikeouts one day, with his plus-plus triple digit fastball that runs in on righties, a plus slider that flashes plus-plus at times, and an improving changeup. Kopech has all-world stuff, unlike Grey who has all-stupid stuff.”  What the hell, brah?!  Real world comparison, Kopech is Syndergaard with command issues right now, but those could clear up quickly; he’s only 22.  He’s a grab in all leagues, but as I said in the opening, rookie pitchers provide headaches, so expectations in Czech.  (Damn, should’ve never bought that discounted Siri.)  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Psyche!  Before we get into the roundup, just wanted to point out our fantasy football leagues are currently signing up, you have a one in three shot of winning $250 (odds may vary depending on if you’re calculating odds correctly.)  Anyway II, the roundup:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

[brid autoplay=”true” video=”279908″ player=”10951″ title=”Fantasy Baseball Buy Sell Hold Week 21″]

Alex Trebek, “The $500 clue is, ‘Now.'”  “The time I pooped my pants on national TV.”  “Sorry, that’s not correct.  Susan?”  “What is now?  Like now?   Now now?  What kinda answer is now?”  “Sorry, we can only accept your first question, ‘What is now?’ and that is incorrect.  Grey, you buzzed in last because you were on your phone picking up a streamer for tomorrow.  The answer is, ‘Now,’ your question is…”  “What is the time to pick up Eloy Jimenez?”  “That is correct.  You control the board.”  “Okay, I’ll take ‘Uber/Lyft for $500.”  “Your neighbor uses this World War II pun when describing them.”  “What is Taxis of Evil?”  “Right again!”  Any hoo!  As Alex Trebek illustrated in the most roundabout way, now is the time to pick up Eloy Jimenez if you have room.  He is absolutely tearing the cover off the ball in Triple-A like he’s putting the finishing touches on his Roy Hobbs Halloween costume — 11 HRs, .345 in 37 games.  I mean, over-the-internet friend, he’s 21 and doing that?  He’s going to be special.  Only question now that ends in a period is will the White Sox call him up when rosters expand in September.  My guess is they do and he starts the year with the club next April.  He’s going to be a star with little Jeopardy.  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

In Philly, a celestial light shines down on a book.  A deep breath, and someone blows dust off the book so we can read its title, “The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Scoring In Philly.”  A hand opens the book, turning to the first page, reading, “To all my loving fans, but mostly the females.”  We pull back to reveal, reading is its author, Pat Burrell.  For reasons we can’t explain, he wears a dead parrot on his shoulder.  The Mets could easily have written that book after yesterday’s first game.  Putting up the reedonkeylicousness:  Amed Rosario went 6-for-11, 7 runs, 4 RBIs and a slam (6) and legs (14) across both games.  In the first game, Rhysus (3-for-7, 4 RBIs and his 24th and 25th homer) and Amed both homered.  Halleberrylujah!  Jose Bautista (3-for-7, 3 runs, 7 RBIs) hit his 10th homer as he continues to turn back the clock to 1987, when he was a 7-year-old and hit barely .200 with some occasional pop off garbage lefties who would put it on a tee for him.  Michael Conforto (6-for-12, 3 runs, 5 RBIs) hit his 17th homer, and now has three homers in the last week, and is finally showing signs why people are always saying, “The Mets are bad, but I like that Conforto guy.”  The Mess had so much offense I don’t even have time before my Carpal Tunnel kicks in to mention Kevin Plawecki (4-for-5, 4 runs, 3 RBIs).  A shame, because Plawecki deserves a mention outside of being mentioned for not being mentioned.  The big takeaway, on our 7-day Player Rater of hitters, Amed Rosario is in the top 30 and worth a look.  Amed to that.  Or Amen.  Or Apeople, if that’s how you roll.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

[brid autoplay=”true” video=”279068″ player=”10951″ title=”Fantasy Baseball Mailbag Week 20″]

Yesterday, the Mets exploded for 16 runs.  Leading the way was Todd Frazier going 3-for-6, 2 runs, 4 RBIs with a slam (12) and legs (7).  Actually, Frazier, Jose Bautista (1-for-3, 1 RBI), Jose Reyes (2-for-5, 2 runs) and Austin Jackson (2-for-4, 2 runs) are all starting to click!  Wait, that’s their bones and it’s from arthritis.  Shoot, my b.  The true star, however, Brandon Nimmo (5-for-5, 3 runs, 3 RBIs) rose from the depths of the deep, dark water.  That’s not a Finding Nemo allusion. He plays in Flushing and we know what water is associated with that.  Nimms — Can we call him that?  Sure, right? — is hitting near .350 in the last week, and homered a few games ago (precise!).  For most part, it’s been dank Nimms but he’s no longer unDeRWaTEr aND HitTinG WeLL.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?