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I sure wish Grey would do his 2020 fantasy baseball rankings.  Wait, I am Grey and this is the rankings!  AHHHHH!!!  I need to sit down.  Wait, I am sitting!!!  I can’t handle all of this!!!  I’m going to put on a pair of pants and go dance in the street.  Meh, let’s be honest, pants are a chore.  So, this is the greatest day ever!  Now, only 400,000 words more until I finish my top 500 and I’ll be done.  Worst day ever!  Damn, that excitement was fleeting.  Well, not for you because you don’t have to write all the rankings.  You lucky son of a gun!  I wish I were you… *wavy lines*  Hey, why am I balding and have lost all definition in my buttocks?  *wavy lines*  Hmm, I’m gonna stay me.  Now before we get into the top 10 for 2020 fantasy baseball (though I imagine every single one of you has skipped this intro paragraph), I’m gonna lay down some exposition.  Here’s where you follow us on Twitter.  Here’s where you follow us on Facebook.  Here’s our fantasy baseball player rater.  Here’s our fantasy baseball team name generator.  Here are all of our 2020 fantasy baseball rankings.  Here’s the position eligibility chart for 2020 fantasy baseball.  And here is a picture of my son.  What a punim!  You may not get all of those links in such a handy, easy-to-use format ever again this year, so make proper note.  (Unless you just go to the top menu on this page that says “Rankings” and click it, but semantics, my over-the-internet friend, semantics.) Also, here’s Steamer’s 2020 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Hitters and 2020 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Pitchers. Rudy’s on top of it this year! Sorta, he says to note it’s Version 1.0, and tweaks will happen over the course of the next few weeks.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The number one Google suggestion for Max Fried is max fried chicken, which made me giggle, so I’m passing it along. What’s more American than trying to figure out how to fry chicken to the max? Makes me want to go to a Popeye’s Chicken, stand outside in a trench coat, and ask someone to go in to purchase me a max fried chicken like I’m fiending for the crack rock. Then, when they invariably ask me why I don’t go in myself, I’ll tell them that due to my cholesterol Popeye’s has cut me off, then grab them my the lapels of their shirt and scream, “Get me that max fried chicken, man!” Or perhaps this is a fever dream I’m having while pressing keys on my keyboard. Last year, Max Fried (pitcher, not the chicken) had a top 40 starter year (28th, mansplainingly), going 17-6/4.02/1.33/173 in 165 2/3 IP. Obviously, he was lifted in the end-of-the-season rankings due to his wins, but there’s more to Max Fried than just his ability to fry chicken to the nth degree. So, what can we expect from Max Fried for 2020 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Don’t think I or anyone else has ever written an Andrew Heaney sleeper post. Pretty sure I’m the first one ever to consider Andrew Heaney great value late in fantasy baseball drafts. *explodes in laughter* I’m just messin’. So, obviously, I write an Andrew Heaney sleeper post every year, and everyone likely does too. Just today, fantasy-baseball-were-geniuses-how-do-you-put-an-apostrophe-in-a-URL dot com posted their Andrew Heaney sleeper post, and tomorrow another three Andrew Heaney sleeper posts will drop, including one at fantasy-baseball-we-are-geniuses dot com and fantasy-baseball-wow-we’re-so-good-at-this dot com. It’s well-worn ground, which means we’re all crumby in the head with crackers or we might be onto something. Like a teamster having a cigarette, I’m leaning on the latter. Last year, Heaney went 4-6/4.91/1.29/118 in 95 1/3 IP because my man can never stay healthy. He was promoted in 2014 and has had exactly zero years of 200 IP. Therefore, ergo, vis-a-vie, he has to stay healthy for value, right? No, if that was all there was to say, I wouldn’t be here. Anyway, what can we expect from Andrew Heaney for 2020 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

This feels like a limb that could snap at any moment. Is Frankie Montas a sleeper? Yes. Do I 100% trust him? No, my Trust% is less than 100. (Baseball Prospectus has Trust% abbreviated as TrustFall% and FanGraphs has TrustFall% but doesn’t include gravity, so people trust fall and then float about five inches off the ground. You can see TrustFall% graphs at Brooks Baseball too. Okay, stepping away from my Ted Talk about baseball stat acronyms…) Guess for my Trust% to be at 100, the sleeperitude of a player would tumble (unless there was no gravity–okay, really moving on now). Much like your great Aunt Gloria, who had her knee reconstructed, I’m going to recap. Last year, Frankie Montas was having a breakout year. Times were good. His friends and family threw him a ticker tape parade with torn-up lottery tickets. Montas was even asked to give a toast–Wait, I’m recapping an episode of Malcolm in the Middle with Frankie Muniz. Sorry. Montas was breaking out though:  9-2/2.63/1.11/103 in 96 IP. Best breakout since Benicio del Toro in Escape at Dannemora. But, much like the inmates at Dannemora, Montas was caught doing bad stuff, unlike del Toro, he wasn’t mumbling. He was, “(S)uspended for using Ostarine, a selective androgen receptor modulator used in bodybuilding to increase strength and mass in lean muscles. It is capable of stimulating androgen receptors, steroid hormone receptors and mimicking testosterone.” That’s exhausting to just read! Do compound elements need to also be compound words? Discuss amongst yourselves! Anyway, what can we expect from Frankie Montas for 2020 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

This Joe Musgrove sleeper is admittedly a bit of a stretch where some things just have to go right. Or rather, some things that have gone right in the past need to go right again in succession and just go ahead and name Shiv, you know you want to, Logan Roy. That’s not a spoiler, because after a show ends, my brain wipes clean of everything that happened during a season like a specialized Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind if that’s what it was and I haven’t forgot that, as well. Just a cursory view of Joe Musgrove and you’ll see a less than impressive starter — 11-12/4.44/1.22/157 in 170 1/3 IP, and now that I spell it out like that, why again was I interested in Joe Musgrove? Now I’m having some Musgrovings about his ability to do the job. My first inclination was to write a Mitch Keller sleeper (and maybe I still will), but we’re 150 words in and I’ll be damned if I’m backtracking now. The Pirates got rid of Ray Searage and his special brand of coaching that managed to make every starter terrible. Don’t worry about Searage; he quickly was hired by the SETI Institute. He will teach a whole new group of people on the best way to elicit contact. So, what can we expect from Joe Musgrove for 2020 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

At some point in the summer of nineteen after twenty, a young boy by the name of Grey Albright who often went by Fantasy Master Lothario and screamed at people to stop abbreviating it, came upon another boy by the name of Ryan Yarbrough. Monsieur Albright the Third didn’t know much about The One Who Went By Yarbrough. He just grabbed him in a deep league and decided to make like a raft and ride him on a stream. Expecting a Level 5 rapids, Jeff Bezos, the name Grey Albright uses when he checks into hotels, clutched the straps and held on for dear life. How’sever, unbeknownst to Señor Albrighto, he was about to go for the ride of his life and like he told the concierge at the hotel where he was staying under the name Jeff Bezos, “This is prime, baby!” In May, Yarbrough had a 1.64 ERA, and we were riding high over those rapids! Then, in June, he had a 3.86 ERA and we were riding ‘just okay’ but not bad considering everyone else was a Cleveland Streamer. Then, in July, a 2.52 ERA and we started to soar again, but could it continue? Yes, rhetorical question, he could! In August, his ERA fell to 1.50 in 30 IP and we were floating off into the afterlife. Then he had a 7.52 ERA in September and we were in hell, but never the hoo! It was a great run, but who is Ryan Yarbrough really? So caught up in the four-month stream, I never even looked at this man who made me a raft of expectations and wonder. *opens player page* He throws 88 MPH?! Oh, Hayzeus Cristo, goodbye. Or…is it hello?! So, what can we expect from Ryan Yarbrough for 2020 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Not sure if I’ve ever liked Marcus Stroman before for fantasy baseball. As a human, he seems like a good dude. I wouldn’t mind hanging out with him because we’re both 28 years old, five-foot seven-inch men and we could make fun of Jose Altuve’s shortness for hours. “Hahahahaha, he’s only five feet and six inches? That is hilarious! Yo, Altuve, wait here while we go on the Mad Hatter Tea Cups ride without you!” Then Stroman would howl, “Yo, Altuve, want help getting cereal down from the top shelf?” Then I would high-five the crap out of Stroman, barely out of reach of Altuve’s high-five. Oh, milord, Stroman and I would have so many good times! Unfortch, his lack of strikeouts has always made me nonplussed (informal North American definition) and I’ve either actively ignored him or disliked him for fantasy. Well, those days are over for us two seriously-close-to-average-height millennial men. (By the way, I’m not 28 years old or five-foot-seven, so stop believing everything you read here or on Facebook!) Last year Marcus Stroman went 10-13/3.22/1.31/159 in 184 1/3 IP. What’s that, a 7.8 K/9? Oh, man, that is seriously bleh, did I get caught up in how much we had in common and forget how much we had that separated us? Hmm, I hope not. So, what can we expect from Marcus Stroman for 2020 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Dinelson Lamet returned from Tommy John surgery last year better than Tommy John returned from his own surgery, and he invented the stupid surgery after a night out with the guys. Here’s a conversation with Bill Russell of the 1976 Dodgers, and Tommy John:

“Hey, are you the same Bill Russell that plays basketball?”
“Stop asking me that. You know I’m not.”
“I think I’m blind from Me Surgery.”
“You’re not blind and stop calling it ‘Me surgery.'”
“It’s Tommy John surgery and I’m Tommy John, so to me it’s Me Surgery, and you don’t know if it made me blind because it’s my surgery.”
“I know it didn’t make you blind because you drove us to this bar!”
“One day everyone will call it Tommy John surgery.”
“I hate you.”

And that’s how Bill Russell of the 1976 Dodgers began calling UCL reconstruction surgery, ‘Tommy John Is A Pain In The Ass surgery.’ So, what can we expect from Dinelson Lamet for 2020 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I believe I wrote a Brandon Woodruff sleeper post last year, or maybe I just told everyone to draft him and ranked him way higher than everyone else. Either way, I win. I will be sanctioning a steel worker to fashion me a giant “I knew Brandon Woodruff was good before everyone else” trophy in the shape of a giant cup, which I will fill with Hong Kong milk tea and boba. For the clubhouse celebration, I will put on goggles, insert a giant metal boba straw into my mouth and spray myself in the face with milk tea and boba while slurping up…The Fallen Boba Soldiers. What a terrific clubhouse celebration I’m having in my kitchen that I’ve covered with a plastic tarp so Cougs doesn’t yell at me. I’ve reached the pinnacle of the fantasy baseball industry! Or I’m having a fever dream. Tomato-tomato-said-with-a-different-emphasis. Last year Brandon Woodruff went 11-3/3.62/1.14/143 in 121 2/3 IP, which was essentially a top ten starter with how great pitching was last year. Okay, I kid. Kinda. But if he didn’t miss two months with an oblique injury, we might not even be here because Woodruff would’ve been a top ten starter. Thank you, oblique! Whatever the hell it/you is/are. Not only do I not know an oblique’s pronoun, I also don’t know if it’s singular or plural. So, what can we expect from Brandon Woodruff for 2020 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hyun-Jin Ryu signed with the Jays. That’s…interesting. *scrambling to see Ryu’s interleague ERA vs. AL teams* 3.84 ERA in 86 2/3 IP with a 8.8 K/9 and this is still too small a sample. Plus, as I always say, you can’t just say a guy’s away stats are what he’d now do when he’s calling a place home. Also, what is going on with Ryu’s early draft price? Maybe it’s still early for ADP and I shouldn’t assign any real truth to where guys are going, but like Hugh Jackman’s marriage to his grandmother, it’s very real how late Ryu’s been going so far this year. I get it, I get it, I GET IT! He’s not a 1-something ERA pitcher, so y’all are compensating for that, but like me with my Happy Socks in my pants, you’re overcompensating. He didn’t just have a Cy Young-type year last year. He had a 1.97 ERA in 2018, too. In six seasons, his career ERA is 2.98. Okay, fine, ERA is stupid. He has a 1.01 WHIP two years in a row. WHIP’s stupid too? Fine, but these are two of the categories you’re hoping to get from your starters. Wins are just stupid stupid. Nothing can be figured from those. So, that leaves us with Ks. He has a 8 K/9 and a 1.2 BB/9, so, you got it, you’ve figured out a reason to not absolutely love Ryu. He’s merely a 2.75/1.01/150 guy. Shucks, what a shame. For penance, I will dye my skin whiter and cat-o-nine-tails my back like a villain in a Dan Brown book. Even if you think the AL could be less kind for Ryu, how much worse will he be from a 2.75/1.01 ratio guy? Fifty points on ERA? Sixty? Five points on WHIP? Ten? He suddenly won’t have one of the best walk rates in baseball? I’m going to be conservative with his projections and they still look great. For 2020, I’ll give Ryu projections of 13-6/3.32/1.09/153 in 167 IP. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason for 2020 fantasy baseball:

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On Dancer! On Prancer! On–Oh, I didn’t hear you come in. Welcome, reader! Grab some egg nog and brandy it up to the fire. You look festive. I love that Rudolph tongue ring. That’s the great thing about Christmas, no matter what your interpretation is, it’s all about commercialism. That’s unless you light the Munenori Kawasaki. The 2020 fantasy baseball rankings are not far away. Right now, January Grey is throwing darts at a board to figure out where to rank Shohei Ohtani, the hitter vs. Shohei Ohtani, the pitcher. Maybe I should use two dart boards. Hmm…In the meantime, let’s look at the players who have multiple position eligibility for this upcoming 2020 fantasy baseball season. I did this list of multi-position eligible players because I figured it would help for your 2020 fantasy baseball drafts. I’m a giver, snitches! Happy Holidays! I only listed players that have multiple position eligibility of five games or more started outside of their primary position. Not four games at a position, not three, definitely not two. Five games started. If they played eight games somewhere but only started one, they are not listed. 5, the Road Runner of numbers. So this should cover Yahoo, ESPN, CBS, et al (not the Israeli airline). Players with multiple position eligibility are listed once alphabetically under their primary position. Games played are in parenthesis. One big take away is Jonathan Villar started in, like, 200 games. That can’t be right. Oh, I know, they’re listed if they had 5 or more games started, but I noted games played in parenthesis, so Villar must’ve switched positions three times per game or played two positions at once because the Orioles only had seven fielders plus a pitcher. Don’t know, don’t care. Players are listed by Games Started, and Games Played are noted. It’s not confusing at all! This is the only time a year I do anything alphabetically, so I might’ve confused some letters. Is G or H first? Who knows, and, better yet, who cares! Wow, someone’s got the Grinchies, must be the spiked egg nog talking. Anyway, here’s all the players with multiple position eligibility for the 2020 fantasy baseball season and the positions they are eligible at:

Please, blog, may I have some more?