The Hamatyville Horror

[takes a deep breath] Ah, you smell that? It’s baseball! It’s back! Crap, breathing in baseball caused me to hurt my hamate bone. Ugh, guess I’ll see you in 4-6 weeks! It’s day 2 of pitchers and catchers reporting and it’s already The Year of the Hamate Bone. What I don’t get, and this is me asking questions, but if you have Spring Training circled on your calendar, as I’m sure all baseball players do, why do you get to the circle before being checked for injuries? Did this many players get in their Kias to drive to camp and say, “Uh-oh, I did boo-boo?” So, Jackson Holliday will have hamate bone surgery and miss at least a few weeks of the season; Corbin Carroll will have surgery and could miss some games, and Francisco Lindor will also have the surgery (or already did, I guess). A broken hamate bone shouldn’t sideline any of these hitters long into April — I wouldn’t be shocked if one or more of them returns before Opening Day — but the concern is the hamate bone drains power from a hitter. Though, remember that time Max Muncy broke his hamate bone and returned like Barry Bonds with Muncy’s special glasses he wore last year. Let’s call him Bonds With Readers, and BWR was smashing like nothing happened at all to his hamate. Let’s hope that happens with all of these guys. Realistically, sigh. They can all fall back on their speed for fantasy value, especially Corbin Carroll, but speed/power was their combo and now that Combo is between the seat cushions, which doesn’t ruin it, but, after you pick it out, it’s a discontinued Combo from 1987 and it’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle flavor. Whatever the eff that is. So, Corbin Carroll was moved into the top 20; Lindor was moved into the top 20 shortstops and Jackson Holliday in the top 20 2nd basemen. Want to emphasize that you should not overreact to an injury in February. Also, don’t ignore the injuries (unless you play baseball). React to them just perfect. Be the Goldilocks of injuries. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason for 2026 fantasy baseball:

Freddy Peralta – Traded to the Mets because the Mets have to acquire the player who will most disappoint them. It’s the first credo in the Mets’ Charter of Excellence. Number Two Credo of Mets Excellence: Start off incredibly hot and jump out to a huge early lead in the division, then collapse after June or start awful with no chance for the playoffs by the end of May, then get incredibly hot and still come up short. Number Three Credo of Mets Excellence: There’s no Number Three Credo of Excellence. These are the Mets’ credos for excellence. If there was one starter who over-performed last year beyond what anyone thought possible and should crash back to earth it was FreddyKBB, and would you look at that! The Mets got him! Been a fan of FreddyKBB for a long time, but all good things must come to an end, like eating a weiner. The love of FreddyKBB–[taps on shoulder] “Excuse me, sir, did you say all good things must come to an end ‘like eating a weiner?'” Yes [reveals t-shirt that says “All good things must come to an end, like eating a weiner.”] Any hoo! Putting aside my famous weiner-eating quote, FreddyKBB is okay as a 2nd starter, but this is more about the price than anything. He’s being drafted as a number one. Bless your heart, but he’s not a number one. He’s a 10+ K/9, 3.5 BB/9, 3.80 xFIP pitcher. “Okay, but I’m still trying to understand the weiner-eating quote.” 2026 Projections: 13-9/3.43/1.18/202 in 174 IP

Bo Bichette – Signed with the Mets. Guess what, Zac Veen and Jordan Lawlar? I have two new members for your Prospblocked team! Welcome aboard, Brett Baty and Mark Vientos! Ya know what’s kinda crazy? One of the biggest baseball writers doesn’t actually know baseball. Ken Rosenthal said Semien, Polanco and Bichette were equal to Alonso, Nimmo and McNeil for offensive production. I’m sorry, but no. Not to mention, aren’t teams supposed to be getting better? Not switch out and be the same as the team that missed the playoffs. Alonso, Nimmo and McNeil are 47 offensive WAR; Alonso alone is 29.2. Semien, Polanco and Boba are 37 offensive WAR. Then they added Luis Robert Jr. who is negative 6.6 for offensive WAR. Wanna argue they got better on defense? Sure, but that wasn’t the statement. Any hoo! Bichette is going to be miscast as the Mets’ 3-hole hitter and 3rd baseman. Or worse Bichette is the two-hole hitter, then Juan Soto, who is the much slower runner but then held up on the basepaths because Bichette is in front of him. Would be like Corbin Carroll in front of Josh Naylor, and holding up Naylor from stealing bags. Metco is a little harder park to homer in, and Bichette was already a poor bet to hit 20 homers. Do I sound down on Bichette? Sweet! Achievement unlocked! He does seem to have solid seasons for fantasy, except when he doesn’t, and he’s awful. His projections and rankings is at the shortstops rankings.

Luis Robert Jr. – Traded to the Mets. If anything can fix a sub-30 HardHit%, it’s not a trade to the Mets. Maybe a lighter bat? Maybe six months in the gym while only drinking Starbucks’ new protein coffee? Maybe smashing everyone else’s arms so everyone hits sub-30 HardHit%, and then your 29.9 HardHit% isn’t so bad? Odd thing is he hit the ball incredibly hard once last year (Max EV 115.8), and the theory is if a guy can hit the ball hard once, he can hit it hard a lot, but I’m reminded of Ian Desmond who hit one homer 486 feet, and was not a 50+ homer hitter. Good news is the Mets seem fine with a guy stealing a bunch of bases (see Soto). People are drafting Robert about fifty spots before this and to that I say, “Is your brain working?” Did you hit your head? It’s fine if you did. I hit my head every time I see Luis Robert Jr.’s ADP. Luis Robert Jr. has one good year in the six years he’s been in the league. Could he have another? Sure! And pigs could fly through your window and offer you their belly for bacon. Actually, the latter scenario feels more likely than Robert having another great year. The White Sux hated him so much they dangled the “we’ll trade you if you could just be good enough to excite another team” carrot for years, and it took the Mets to finally see Luis Rabbit Jr. His projections and rankings is at the top 60 outfielder rankings.

Caleb Durbin – Traded to the Red Sox. Brewers are so funny. They’re like, “We’re the best team in this division, and now we will tear it all down and win the division with all new guys as a flex.” Brewers, please stop flexing on the NL Central! It’s not nice! There’s no reason why the Brewers needed to trade Durbin for Kyle Harrison. They’re not going to use Kyle Harrison; they were using Durbin. Alas, they felt like it, I suppose. At least I hope they’re not going to use Kyle Harrison. Knowing the Brewers, they’ll flex by putting Logan Henderson in the minors and using the inferior Harrison. So, I updated Durbin in the 2nd basemen rankings. He was moved up and upped his projections — better park for him; better lineup spot; better chance the Red Sox don’t fiddle with his playing time like the Brewers. I do wonder if Casas isn’t just traded though, because they have zero room for him.

Isiah Kiner-Falefa – Signed with the Red Sox. He will act as a utility defender and dole out Israeli Diner Falafels in Coolidge Corner. Also, lol AI:

Brandon Sproat – Traded to the Brewers, which seems to be the best finishing school in baseball for pitchers. Though, the FreddyKBB-Sproat-Jett trade seemed more about Jett. Here’s what Itch said on Sproat, “All the cool kids loved Sproat heading into the season, but the skeptical among us wound up more accurate than the enthusiastic, as is so often the case in life. He’s still a solid prospect of course. At 6’3” 215 lbs, he’s strong and balanced throughout his delivery, which has helped him to develop command of his impressive arsenal, highlighted by a mid-90’s fastball that plays well up in the zone and pairs well with his cutter, slider and changeup, all solid pitches in their own right. He pitched 20.2 MLB innings this season and recorded a 4.79 ERA and 1.21 WHIP, so his season turned out alright even if it took him a while to bounce back from a tough start. Grey won’t bounce back from what I have in store.” C’mon! 2026 Projections: 4-5/4.22/1.31/76 in 83 IP

Jett Williams – Traded to the Brewers. Just read his player profile and it went something like this, “For such a short player, he–” I’m sorry I have to stop you there. “Short?” Did you say “short?” He’s the same height as yours truly! Take it back right now! I insist! So, with his trade to the Brewers, it means the Brewers’ lineup is gonna be Jett Williams/William Contreras. A Williams-Similarona. They have the best Smores making kits! So, Williams is likely still a year away, or at least a half season, and also penciled into the Brewers’ current lineup after the trade of Durbin because the Brewers are always simultaneously rebuilding and competing. The speed/power tools look flat-out nasty, as in a good nasty, but can he make good enough contact? I don’t know. He went 17/34/.261 last year with a 22.9 K% and .321 BABIP, which is a bit of a concern, tee be aitch. It means he makes incredibly weak contact. Worth the squeeze in most mixed leagues if he does break camp. His projections and rankings is at the top 20 shortstops rankings.

Kyle Harrison – Traded to the Brewers. They have success with a swingman-type every year (see Colin Rea), but not draftable. Well, not swingman, it’s more of a flex. See all other Brewers trades.

Reese McGuire – Signed with the Brewers. With this signing, you know the Brewers’ parking lots will never be empty.

Gary Sanchez – Signed with the Brewers. Preemptively signing Gary Sanchez for when Reese McGuire breaks his hamate bone.

Spencer Schwellenbach – Hit the 60-day IL with elbow inflammation. Yes, I’m kinda bummed that more people didn’t draft him before the news hit. This will get lost in next year’s rankings when I say what top starters didn’t do well, because it’s so early, but people were drafting Spencer on average at 85 overall and as a top 20 starter. This could be good news for Waldrep. Hurston so good, come on baby make it Hurston so good, sometimes love don’t yadda yadda yadda, Hurston Waldrep. Removed Schwellenbach from the top 20 starters, and wouldn’t draft him in any league, so I just removed him completely from the rankings.

Marcell Ozuna – Signed with the Pirates. One of those signings where I’m happy the team made it. Good on the Pirates signing someone, doing something, but I think Ozuna’s fantasy relevance and relevance, in general, has run its course. Guess you could get a dead cat bounce back to a 30-homer, .240 season, but he just went 21/.232 in a better park and the numbers under the hood are no inspiring. As with all utility-only guys, Ozuna will be in the top 500, which I’ll post tomorrow. 2026 Projections: 47/18/54/.228 in 405 ABs

Josh Hader – Experienced bicep inflammation. Concerning when this pops up after only a few bullpen sessions, but it’s early. Will be monitoring, but for now I’m leaving him where he is in the top 100, and would happily take five good months of Hader over some six months of a scrub.

Nick Martinez – Signed with the Rays. Only the Rays would see Ian Seymour and Joe Boyle and say, “I think we’ll sign Steven Matz and Nick Martinez to start for us.” Maybe once Seymour or Boyle are in their 30’s they’ll get a chance. Unlike the Brewers, the Rays won’t still win the division. They just flounder for a few months and come out around .500. Sorry, that’s not flounder, those are Rays.

Luisangel Acuña – Traded to the White Sux. From Luis to Luisangel. What’s next? They gonna trade Luisangel for Luisangelfoodcake? Imagine Ronald Acuña Jr. and Luisangel Acuña was a Jr. too. Awkward family trips to Disney! Or even worse, imagine it was Ronald Acuña Jr. but Luisangel Acuna, and they found out they weren’t related because of the lack of tilde. Effin’ crazy shizz! Luisangel Acuña to the White Sux tells me I was way off on my Lenyn Sosa sleeper. That team hates him! First, Murakami and now Acuña. Sosa ain’t ever playing. So, this trade was originally a huge boost to Luisangel’s value. He went from “maybe not breaking camp” to an everyday regular to “is he bench guy again with Austin Hays’s signing?” His speed really is his attraction. He stole 57 bags one year in the minors and he makes incredibly weak contact and might not crack 10 homers with everyday playing time, but, at 2nd base, 5/30/.240 plays if he gets the at-bats. The problem is where does he play? His projections and rankings is at the 2nd basemen rankings.

Seranthony Dominguez – Signed with the White Sox. Only someone as high caliber as Seranthony could he mask his British accent and do a Chicago one. Thankfully, they made this signing to make it obvious who the heck was their closer. Bullpen chart is updated after all reliever news.

Austin Hays – Signed with the White Sox. Forgot that he was one of the original “Baltimore prospects that never develop.” Saw he had 60-grade power and 55 speed in the minors, according to FanGraphs. Ha, welp, that didn’t work out! His stats look eerily similar to Benintendi, which is more than eerie. It’s downright frightening. His projections and rankings is at the top 100 outfielders.

Chris Paddack – Signed with the Marlins. Paddack replaces Junk in the rotation and throws a garbage fastball, so it’s kinda perfect.

Anthony Santander – Had labral surgery and will miss five to six months. Honestly, I feel like a guy who is hurting since last year who waits until camp to have surgery is doing that because he was paid and doesn’t want to play. Maybe that’s wrong, but it sure feels that way. He was removed from the top 60 outfielders. Guess this helps Nathan Lukes, but he’s pretty meh, so I left him alone in the top 100 outfielders.

Eugenio Suarez – Signed with the Reds. No team in the history of baseball has ever loved cornermen like the Reds. They are horned up from the floor up for cornermen. If you’re an inexperienced cornerman, you should be more scared than if you hear Omar whistling. Sal Stewart, go get your shinebox, it’s next to Christian Encarnacion-Strand. Reds said, “Suarez is likely to see most of his at-bats at DH, also playing some first base and third base. Sal Stewart will have a similar role, while Spencer Steer will play some outfield and be used in more of a utility role.” What that actually means in practice? Not sure but Eugenio will obviously play every day. This is one of the best landing spots for him. He’s gonna hit four homers in every game. Neutrally, he’s a .230 hitter, but this could help that too. I’m a fan. His projections and rankings is at the 3rd basemen rankings. (Spencer Steer was updated in the 1st basemen rankings, and Sal Stewart was left alone, but we’ll see what his ABs look like in Spring Training.)

Harrison Bader – Signed with the Giants. This is instead of them playing Luis Matos, and tells us how much they think of Matos. If you’re the Giants, why sign Bader and not welcome Matos rather than showing him the door? Play with words points! His projections are at the top 100 outfielders.

Luis Arraez – Signed with the Giants. What can be said about Luis Arraez that hasn’t been said before? He’s a poor man’s Ted Williams. That’s never been said before, I imagine. Is it accurate? Not really, but that wasn’t the parameters I gave myself. Arraez is good for bleh power, real meh speed and excellent average. Call him Bunting With A Frozen Head Williams. His projections and rankings is at the 2nd basemen rankings.

MacKenzie Gore – Traded to the Rangers. Went to a bull fight in Spain a long time ago. If you haven’t been, I’m going to explain it to you very fast: A bull chases a matador because he likes the color red, especially when it’s red on Statcast, and when, least expected, the matador waves his cape and gives up 8 ER in 3 IP and you get Gore’d right in the back, through your heart and your fantasy team lies dying in the ring. Something like that, it was a while ago. So, I nearly convinced myself Gore wasn’t as bad as I remembered from last year, because I am such a sucker for this guy. Rationalizations in my head, “If he had 10 wins, what he had in 2024, he would’ve been around a top 50 starter last year with his 10.4 K/9–” and I am literally falling for him again as I recount my rationalization. His command is too wonky and dangerous. I’m sorry, I’m out. If he can succeed anywhere, it would be Arlington, but I can’t keep getting in on this guy. Please, let me learn my lesson for once. His projections and rankings is at the top 80 starters rankings.

J.T. Realmuto – Re-signed with the Phils. They weren’t really going into the season with Marchan as their starter. [a pause so pregnant it’s like it was impregnated by Nick Cannon, three months later] No, they weren’t. Welcome back, Jerry Tomato Realmuto, the world’s most boring reliable catcher. His projections and rankings is at the catcher rankings.

Nick Castellanos – Sounds like he’ll be released or traded, and once that happens I’m going to be all-in on Justin Crawford and move him up my outfielder rankings. It’s giddy up season!

Brendan Donovan – Traded to the Mariners. As spoken about in the main blurb (this is an additional blurb), Donovan is great for real baseball, but for fantasy baseball? Well, you put him in Coors and he’s still a 14/5/.300 hitter. In Seattle, he’s a: See 2nd basemen rankings. Any hoo! What’s more important is what this does for J.J. Wetherholt. This moves him into the lineup, right? Aw sookie, I like rookie nookie!  I’ll conservatively give him 100 more at-bats and move him up in my shortstop rankings. I’m intrigued, y’all!

Edouard Julien – Traded to the Rockies. Okay, so we make a lot of fun of the Rockies, and rightfully, but this is solid under-the-radar move. Does it bump Amador back to the minors and I’m not sure why the Rockies seem to like other team’s prospects more than their own? Sure, but maybe they realize their own prospects suck. Julien is out of options, so he can’t be sent to the minors, and now looks like he’s in line to have at least a job on the strong side of the platoon at 2nd base. Nothing but an end-of-deep-league-draft flyer, but it’s something and before he was nothing. His projections and rankings is at the 1st basemen rankings, and Adael Amador was removed from the 2nd basemen rankings.

Chris Bassitt – Signed with the Orioles. Likely a better real baseball signing than a fantasy one, but one can dream. [wavy lines] Chris Bassitt throws 166 IP with a 4.11 ERA. [wavy lines] That was one of the worst dream sequences ever. Bassitt was updated in the top 100 starters.

Carlos Santana – Signed with the Diamondbacks. Whatever gets Jordan Lawlar further from ever playing with the DBacks is how that organization approaches every signing. DBags’ owner Ken Kendrick is a big baseball card collector and Jordan Lawlar said that’s for nerds, and that was the end of his career. Somehow, Carlos Santana, the baseball player, has had a longer career than Carlos Santana (guitarist). Both played at Woodstock, I believe. He was added to the 1st basemen rankings.

Andrew Saalfrank – Underwent shoulder surgery and will miss the season. Can Carlos Santana close for the Dbacks? The player or the singer. I don’t care. Top 500 has all relievers for every team, and I’m not sure if there’s any DBacks’ reliever worth drafting. You can sort on the top 500 by team and see what I have there after I post tomorrow. Currently, I think it’s Ginkel, but watch it change by Monday.

Blaze Alexander – Traded to the Orioles. This move has me arching my eyebrow and saying, “What you playin’ at?” O’s better not be platooning Cowser or Holliday. That’s all I’m sayin’ on that. The interesting thing with this Blaze move is Lawlar now could see time in the outfield. I moved Jordan Lawlar up into the 3rd basemen rankings, after moving him down and out. I feel like I’m going to move him another 15 times this preseason.

Miguel Andujar – Signed with the Padres. Gotta say, I give the Reds a lot of crap about signing so many cornermen, but the willpower they showed not bringing Andujar back was remarkable. I also give the Angels a lot of crap for signing also-rans, so props to them for not signing Miguel Also-Randujar.

Paul Goldschmidt – Re-signed with the Yankees. The Yanks really were like, “Let’s get to the round before the World Series and lose to the team that comes within two outs of a championship.” Yanks are saying Ben Rice will still face lefties and catch some games to give Au Shizz at-bats. I doubt it’s significant, and I’m not sure you want Rice facing lefties.

Andy Ibanez – Claimed by the Dodgers. Ugh, freakin’ AI is everywhere.

Victor Caratini – Signed with the Twins. More like Caratwini! High five me! Right now! No? Okay. The platoon of Caratini and Jeffers doesn’t scream value from both guys, but Jeffers is likely to be traded and Josh Bell, so Caratini could have everyday at-bats at catcher, DH or 1st by July, and last year Caratini was about as valuable as Jeffers, which is to say barely worth it in the deepest of leagues. Also, a side note, I saw FanGraphs had Caratini as the everyday DH to which I say, maybe, but it’s January, and give Caratini 500 ABs and he’s still likely a 15-homer hitter. Though, that would up his counting stats, obviously. His projections and rankings is at the catcher rankings.

Ha-Seong Kim – In January, he slipped on ice and knocked himself out of baseball activities for five months, and his dreams of gold on the bobsled came to an end. Lowered in my 2nd basemen rankings, and recent signing Jorge Mateo and Mauricio Dubon, his temp fill-ins, wrestled with my arm, trying to twist it to get themselves into the rankings, but they couldn’t convince me. Mateo just hit .177 with the Orioles and Dubon hit seven homers and stole three bags and hit .241 in 133 games last year. Two months of regular playing time, then a backup to Kim from May to June on? That’s not a top 500 player. With a Viagra and a shot of testosterone, I can’t get a Duboner for that.

Reese Olson – Will miss the season with shoulder surgery. He only had a strained shoulder last July. Why does it take so long for guys to fix their shizz? Serious question. I know no one wants to rush surgery, but it was seven months! Top 100 starters was updated.

Justin Verlander – Signed with the Tigers. Good news, Tigers fans, you’re getting back Justin Verlander. Bad news, you’re getting back Ben Verlander.