Travel back in time with me if you will, to a place where fanny packs, male ponytails, and Jordache jeans were all the rage. A time when Bruce Jenner was a symbol of masculinity, and O.J. Simpson was America’s favorite star! Travel with me to the age of Nintendo, a time when video games had two buttons and you didn’t need a degree in molecular biology to play. That last sentence made me sound very old, oh well. Anyway the theme of this week’s two start pitchers soiree is Nintendo! No not Super Nintendo (which was awesome BTW, #GoldenEye4life) or Wii, just plan old “blow on the console” to clean it NES. If you were anything like me then you played your fair share of Zelda, Super Mario, Duck Hunt, Tecmo Bowl, Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out, RBI Baseball, Double Dribble, Blades Of Steel, the list goes on and on. [Jay’s Note: Where’s Excite Bike and Battle Toads?] Aww the good old days when video games had easily exploitable glitches, like throwing to the outside of the plate with Nolan Ryan. Or pressing the Duck Hunt gun against the screen because that damn pooch kept laughing at you. Don’t look at me swan! Anyway, this week we have one of the deeper rosters of two-start pitchers in recent memory, and arguably the four best arms in the game double dipping. Not to worry if you don’t own one of the four horsemen there’s plenty of other great options in week number 9. So get up off of that thang and take a gander at this week’s two start madness.
Super Mario Brothers (Aces) – Was this the greatest game in the history of Nintendo? Maybe, maybe not, who knows, but it was their flagship game so that wacky Italian plumber and his brother Luigi get the nod for the Aces tier. Plus they had a really bad yet amazing movie that starred Dennis Hopper (R.I.P big homie). The Ace tier is a cakewalk this week so there really isn’t much need to justify anyone’s inclusion. But because I’m a verbose windbag I’ll elaborate…The top two start pitcher for this week is Mad Max. Hell the man is back in theaters and he’s dominating the senior circuit. He gets a Toronto team at home which means Joey Bats will return to the outfield. Señor Bats has not started in the field since April 21st. So that shoulder of his will be put to the test. Max’s second start is against the strikeout happy Cubs and that’s a matchup to like…. Next up is the King, he’s going to burn til he can’t burn no more, shine til he can’t shine no more, til the earth can’t turn no more, he’s the KING! He gets the Yankees and Rays at home and I like both of those matchups for El Rey…. Chris Archer was sweet heavenly butter last time out vs the Mariners. He went 8 shutout innings striking out 12, and in the process outpitched the aforementioned King. He’s on the West Coast all week, hitting up Anaheim and Seattle while he’s there. Neither matchup scares me much, he looks as good as any two start option…. Rounding out this tier is Dodgers twin aces Clayton Kershaw and Zack Greinke. They begin their week at the dreaded Coors field, but how can you drop these guys below the ace tier? Greinke has been arguably one of the top 5 pitchers in baseball and Kershaw is rebounding from a (by his standards) rough start. There second turn is against the Redbirds at home.
Max Scherzer, (vs. Toronto, vs. CHC); Felix Hernandez, (vs. NYY, vs. Tampa Bay); Chris Archer, (@LAA, @Seattle); Clayton Kershaw, (@Colorado, vs. St. Louis); Zack Greinke, (@Colorado, vs. St. Louis)
Zelda (Great Starts) – Everyone remembers this little guy, hell he’s in front of Razzball reader’s eyes every week as the avatar of our very own MalaMoney. It was a great game and if you were 8 in my neighborhood and hadn’t beaten Zelda you were pretty much nothing. You were equal with the kid that threw like a girl and the kid who had weird parents that wouldn’t allow anyone into their house. I always wondered what those parents were hiding….Drugs probably drugs….. Jacob DeGrom, the Mets ace. Can I say that? Or is it sacrilegious? His 9 K per, and sub 2 walk per says he is. Diggey Jake travels to San Diego, and Arizona, both good matchups. There was major consideration for the Ace tier but he just misses…. I’ll take Gerrit Cole and his starts at San Francisco and Atlanta by a hair over Jon Lester’s two. Lester heads to Miami and Washington and has a 1.76 ERA in the month of May. His 4.17 FIP over that time period doesn’t support it, and his 91% strand rate is a red flag, but as a Lester owner I’m not complaining. The Washington start worries me a bit, but there’s a lot to like with the Miami start. Then again he does have an ugly 1.32 May HR per, and he will see the two best power hitters in the game next week…. Garrett Richards is coming off his two worst starts of the season against the Red Sox and Padres. He’ll see Tampa at home and then The Yankees at the stadium…. Jordan Zimmermann was supposed to take two trips to the mound in Week 8 but they added Tanner Roark to the rotation and that meant he only had a single start. He sees the Jays and Cubbies at home, I have every confidence that Scherzer can handle these matchups, I don’t feel that way about Zimm. Something tells me one of these starts will be less then desirable, you know like a 6 innings and 4 earned kind of outing…. I struggled to choose between Carlos Carrasco and Michael Pineda next, so I went Andrew Cashner. That bearded Padre is a tough one to figure. Has he been lucky, unlucky, or is this what he is? Here’s my take, he’s been unlucky in the win – loss arena, but lucky when it comes to his ERA. His FIP/xFIP is 3.87/3.37, while his ERA is just 3.00. His K/BB is 4 which is very solid but he’s allowing too many home runs (1.29 per 9) to be fully trusted. Still a very solid fantasy 3 in most leagues. This week he eeks ahead of Carassco, McHugh, and Pineda due to the better matchups. He faces the Mets at Petco on Monday and then travels to the “Nati” to face the Reds…. I’ll take Pineda next, he rebounded nicely this week against the Royals after back to back subpar turns. On Monday he returns to the very teet that nurtured his Major League career, and then faces the Angels at the Stadium on Sunday. Both are solid matchups for the righty…. Carlos Carrasco has been much better than his 4.24 ERA suggests with a FIP/xFIP of 2.67/2.66 and a K per of 10.36 to a BB per of 2.04. Good God that’s Ace peripherals, but he faces two tough starts this week in Kansas City and Baltimore. The Royals have the 5th highest wOBA vs RHP, while the Orioles have been on cold streak the past few weeks but are still capable of an explosion at any time. Carrasco is worthy of a start against anybody but I wouldn’t go as far as to say he’s matchup proof…. Collin McHugh screws me all up with that second L in his first name. That’s weird right? Moving on, I don’t like the matchups for McHugh this week. He faces Baltimore at home and then travels to the Rodgers Centre to face the Blue Jays. I’m not a huge McHugh fan myself which explains why I don’t own him anywhere…. Lance Lynn gets no respect he’s like the Rodney Dangerfield of starting pitchers. His 9.94 K per makes me want to smoke a cigarette and cuddle, but his 3.12 BB per makes me wish I wore a condom. His first turn against the Brewers is solid, but the Dodgers against any righty scare me, and their league leading wOBA of .354 vs. RHP justifies it. The Dodgers aren’t to be played with at home either. Not sure you avoid that start but if you’re locked in a ratio battle come next Sunday I might bench him…. The Shark is getting it together lately, with three consecutive solid outings. He travels to Arlington to take on the Rangers and then has a home date against the always scary Tigers. I wouldn’t avoid the Tigers start though, Samardzija has already handled them rather well so far only allowing 3 earned over 15 total frames.
Jacob DeGrom, (@San Diego, @Arizona); Gerrit Cole, (@San Francisco, @Atlanta); Jon Lester (@Miami, @Washington); Garrett Richards, (vs. Tampa Bay, @NYY); Jordan Zimmermann, (vs. Toronto, vs. CHC); Andrew Cashner, (vs. NYM, @Cincinnati); Michael Pineda, (@Seattle, vs. LAA); Carlos Carrasco, (@ Kansas City, vs. Baltimore); Collin McHugh, (vs. Baltimore, @Toronto); Lance Lynn, (vs. Milwaukee, @LAD); Jeff Samardzija, (@Texas, vs, Detroit)
Mike Tyson’s Punchout (Good Starts) – I probably could have done the whole post on Mike Tyson’s Punchout but I didn’t even think about it until just now. Damn I missed the boat on that one. This game was awesome, say what you will but no boxing game has ever come close. If you disagree I will have you immediately blocked from the site. I have that power. Seriously I’m very powerful! This tier is shorter (Like Mac!) then usual and it’s mostly because the great starts were aplenty this week. Clay Buchholz kicks us off just missing out on the great starts. He’s been very good of late and his stats have been skewed by the 9 run diarrhea episode against the Yankees on April 12th. He gets two very startable turns against the Twins and A’s at Fenway…. Alfredo Simon isn’t going to win you strikeouts in any given week, but he can help with the wins and won’t kill your ratios, he gets the A’s at home to start the week and finishes against the White Sox. I don’t love the White Sox start but I don’t think it’s a must avoid…. It’s going to come crashing down to earth for Mike Pelfrey eventually but I’m willing to stream him until it does. He’s at Boston and then at home against the Brewers. Neither start scares me but you’re playing Russian Roulette with your ratios each time you start him. It’s mostly paid off so far though…. I consdiered Alex Wood and Phil Hughes for this tier but Hughes has been iffy and Wood faces a Diamondback team that crushes LHP…. Archie Bradley is having major control issues, but his matchups are tasty as he draws two home starts vs the Braves and Mets. I’d start him and hope that he worked out the kinks since returning from being hit by a comebacker…. Josh Collmenter is historically better at home but that’s not the case this season. He has no strikeout upside, and he hasn’t been unlucky he’s just been bad. I’m willing to throw all that out the window this week and live dangerously. Take a shot on him as a streamer if you’re looking for starts in a H2H league.
Clay Buchholz, (vs. Minnesota, vs. Oakland); Alfredo Simon, (vs. Oakland, @CWS); Mike Pelfrey, (@Boston, vs. Milwaukee); Archie Bradley, (vs. Atlanta, vs. NYM); Josh Collmenter, (vs. Atlanta, vs. NYM)
Multi-Cart (One Good Start/One Bad Start) – Everyone had a few of these, the cartridge that came with one good game and one (maybe multiple) bad or mediocre games. These pitchers are sort of the same. Some are the matchups (Alex Wood @Arizona, Kyle Hendricks @Washington, Ubaldo Jimenez @Cleveland), others just aren’t to be trusted each time out (Phil Hughes, Jaime Garcia, Alex Colome, Ryan Vogelsong). As always green means go and red means run away, very fast. Or you could just drop/bench them, I know most of our readers are sweat adverse.
Alex Wood, (@Arizona, vs. Pittsburgh); Ubaldo Jimenez, (@Houston, @Cleveland); Kyle Hendricks, (@Miami, @Washington); Phil Hughes, (@Boston, vs. Milwaukee); Jaime Garcia, (vs. Milwaukee, @LAD); Alex Colome, (@LAA, @Seattle); Ryan Vogelsong, (vs. Pittsburgh, @Philadelphia)
Deadly Towers (Stay Away) – Truthfully I never player this game but I Googled Worst NES games and this came up. It also had the perfect name for this tier. Just avoid these starts no ifs, ands, or buts.
Colby Lewis, (vs. CWS, @Kansas City); Mike Wright, (@Houston, @Cleveland); Rick Porcello, (vs. Minnesota, vs. Oakland); R.A. Dickey (@Washington, vs. Houston); Scott Feldman, (vs. Baltimore, @Toronto); Eddie Butler, (vs. LAD, vs. Miami); Jason Vargas, (vs. Cleveland, vs. Texas); Severino Gonzalez, (vs. Cincinnati, vs. San Francisco)
As always Two-Start Pitcher are subject to change. If the roster changes we’ll discuss in the comments.
I know they both have a tricky one but Fiers two starts or J. Garcia’s two this week (weekly lineup changes only in this league)?
@Dem Bums:
Or Yordano’s one start instead of either of these twos?
@Dem Bums: I think I’d go Jaime.
Rest of season….k/9 and bb/9 are two additional categories for pitching.
vogelsong (SF), burnett (PIT), weaver (LAA), kendricks (CHC) or santiago (LAA)?
@Gio: I’d go Burnett, Hendricks, Santiago, Weaver, and Vogelsong.
Looks like Cueto will get two starts now. Where do you rank him with him Philly and SD matchups?
@Stewy Mook: Hey Ya Mook!
I’d say he’s probably first as long as he has no limitations. Those are excellent matchups.
Thanks for the input!
Love the video game version this week!
I know Grey told us to sell Keuchel a few weeks ago, well I still got him. Would you sit him this week at home against Balt and start either M Gonzlaez at Hou or Bolsinger at Col?
@FreeDiRo: I’m starting Keuchel every time out at this point. He may have pitched one of the best games of 2015 on Saturday. If you can sell him and upgrade fine but he’s not sitting on my bench.
Fires just torn his start pushed up to Monday bc Garza pitched today. Where would you rank him?
@BambooLounge: And that’s why we don’t post on an iPhone.
Fiers now has a 2-start week since Garza pitched in the extra inning game last night. Where would you rank him?
@BambooLounge: I’d place Fiers right in the Multi-Cart in the Hughes – Colome area code. I’d sit him against the Cards but play him against the Twins.
@Ralph Lifshitz: You are the man!
@Scott: no you are!
Syndergaard is starting Tues, but no one has mentioned him as a 2-start guy… is it possible that he will be?
@PhrasingBackInTheMix: Sorry, I am dumb, it didn’t register with me that NY has a 6-man rotation. Thanks for this article as always, it’s such a great tool.
@PhrasingBackInTheMix: Thanks happy that it helps! Yeah stupid 6 man rotation!
Wow that’s awesome. I haven’t thought about those games in forever. I loved Mike Tyson’s punch out. That brings back some memories… Glass Joe, Piston Honda, King Hippo, Soda Popinski. You could have definitely rated the pitchers by fighter haha. I remember I only made it to Tyson once and got destroyed in like 15 seconds.
@Salad Czar: It was an awesome game with a really shitty climax. I know there were people who claimed they beat Tyson but I never saw it last longer than 15 seconds
@Ralph Lifshitz: it wasn’t that hard to not get hit by Tyson with practice but it was near impossible to knock him required amount of times in the time you had, and he won every decision, even if he landed not one hit on you. I’ve beaten him before (that game wasn’t nearly as hard as Battletoads, which i still can’t beat)
@goodfold2: I’m confused you couldn’t knock him and he won every decision but you beat him?
Battletoads was impossible.
@Salad Czar: You could also compare hitters to who they actually resemble in the game. Altuve: Little Mac, Stanton: Don Flamenco, Butler: King Hippo, Aoki: Piston Hondo, Pujols: Bald Bull.. and so on.. Have no idea why I wrote this, but I vote for a Punch Out post too! That would be awesome.
@The Nappy Dugout: It’s happening!
Next week: Wada, Anderson, Fiers?
@Robert: I’ll take Anderson against the Mets.
@Ralph Lifshitz: got it
Cole should be a Mario Brother
@J-FOH: I’d bump DeGrom up first. I’m not convinced that the San Fran start is going to be so easy. The Giants are a team I really hate to bet against
@Ralph Lifshitz: they are hot right now but Cole is so redonk this year. Foly shut them down pretty hard
@J-FOH: Cole is awesome. A many good two start pitchers this week. Even the guys who’s matchups I don’t like (I.E McHugh) I’d still be happy starting them.
@Ralph Lifshitz: now that i finally own cole somewhere this year (everywhere first day he was called up in every league 2 years ago) i’m seeing just how true this is.
Nice work. Wasn’t Goldeneye Nintendo 64?
@The Great Knoche: Once I finally realized it was too late
need to replace Khris Davis (deep league)…best available is Alex Guerrero, Justin Turner, Nick Markakis, Yelich, BButler, or BLawrie
Please rate ROS….thank u!
@Spider Crabs: I’d go Yelich and then Guerrero. Markakis is probably next and then Butler, Lawrie, and Turner are all grouped together. Lawrie has the most upside of those final four.
Wada vs KC or
Cmart vs LAD
Need to steam today
Thx!
@Adam: I’d go Wada
What order would you rank these pitchers for today?
Chase Anderson @ MIL (Wagner)
Shoemaker vs DET (Price)
Roark @ CIN (Lorenzen)
C-Mart vs LAD (D. Anderson)
Thanks.
@Ron: Roark, Anderson, C-Mart, Shoemaker. I don’t want any part of those last two. Good chance either of those get destroyed
Isn’t Hammel a two-start option this week? What tier would he fall under? Ultimately, Hammel or cAnderson for my weekly?
@Buge Hoobs: Hammel gets two now due to the rainout yesterday. I’d rank him right behind Buchholz
@Buge Hoobs: yes Hammel has 2 starts, would go Hammel over Anderson
@M: Lester gets pushed back to Wednesday. Wada goes today
Feldman is on the DL so won’t be making those two starts!
@JimmyBond: Must have missed that.
@JimmyBond: @Ralph Lifshitz: also may I add that this is my favorite theme yet for the 2 starts…awesome.
@JimmyBond: Thanks next week I’m going to try and find a wildly inappropriate one.
What’s up
Do you think gio gonzalez or fowler is droppable in a 8 team keeper?
Could grab belt plouffe grandal moss or rios?
Tucker is also available
The pitching on the wire is deep, who would you grab? Santiago simon quintana bucholz walker mcculers
Thanks :)
@slimbo: Probably would grab Buchholz for this week. I think in 8 team Gonzalez is droppable
Drop rubby for any of these guys.. Kendricks,karns,shoemaker,Tillman,
Are any of the guys must adds or just streamers? 12 team h2h
Holding Strasburg on bench if no dl slot?
@Mike: Kyle Hendricks for sure.
@Ralph Lifshitz: I think you need to hold on Strasburg and see where he’s at in two weeks.
Blue Marlin— grossly addicting fishing game where you drove around in a boat trolling your hook into schools of fish… hoping to snag the great Blue Marlin… Zebco reel…. pick your lures… pick your fishing line strength… telling you it was unreal excilirating to land the massive trophy fish
Anyhoo, dealt Pujol for Carrasco and really regretting it…. figured Teix and Yasmany could platoon at CI but Teix is on one of those 0-12 runs…
Wacha for Hosmer fair? Feeling like I need to reverse my decision to lean on Teix… after this week will have a 71-25-4 recored in my weekly H2H so cant complain
@jal179: Yeah I don’t mind Wacha for Hosmer. I’ll take Hosmer and Carrasco over Wacha and Albert.
I remeber that game a rented it from the local video store a few times.
@Ralph Lifshitz:
Thanks boss.
Good insight on the Carrasco Hosmer combo bit…makes me feel better
DeGrom has been way better at home than has on the road this year. He’s been fortunate to only have had 3 starts awy from Citi so far this year. But he’s been dealing recently and staying down in the zone so hopefully he can take it with him on the road.
Great write up as always.
@wjessereid: I’ve liked what I’ve seen from him. Citi certainly helps.
Come on, buddy! Get it together. GoldenEye was for Nintendo 64, not Super Nintendo. Those were groundbreaking 64-bit graphics!
Otherwise, excellent work.
@Chupacabraj: Haha wow I can’t believe I forgot that! Oops!
In a 10-keeper NL only league, I was just offered Billy Hamilton for my Alex Guerrero. Who would you rather have long term?
@Jordan KC: I’d say Alex Guerrero. I’m not a huge Hamilton fan especially if he’s not hitting leadoff.
Keeper league, Harper or Stanton? Thanks.
Keeper league, Harper or Stanton?
@David: Do I have to pick one? I’d probably go Harper because he’s so young.
You rock with these themes Ralph.
I got a little choked up the first time I beat Blades of Steel. The black and white photos, the sad/triumphant midi music…it really got to me.
True NES story…one time I was blowing so hard trying to get a game to work I feinted and hit my head on my old school big ass wood television haha.
@Mike: Lol! That and the Olympics game forget it’s name. I always felt like I needed to do a victory lap in my living room.
RBI baseball was the best though, if you didn’t pinch hit Tony Armas for Spike Owens when using the Red Sox you were a clown.
Jesus I hope it didn’t leave a mark! Blowing builds character!….. Wait that came out wrong
haha…for real RBI was the shizz. I played a lot of Bases Loaded too
no harm done(I think) I don’t really remember 3rd – 5th grade come to mention it
@Ralph Lifshitz:
Was the olympics game Olympic Gold?
@jal179: I can’t remember I’ll have to look.
@Ralph Lifshitz: that fainting story is funny as hell. baseball stars was first game ever with trades, and hidden god-like team the pink ladies. Battletoads hardest game ever, unless those literally unbeatable games like Gauntlet count.
@goodfold2: Haha gauntlet was the bane of my older cousins existence. I remember a lot of thrown controllers
Dickerson and Gordon for Yelich, Guerrero and Harvey
Which Side?
@Cole:
Thats Dee Gordon
@Cole: I like the Harvey side. Who knows with Dickerson, Plantar is tricky there’s no magic cure. Time and healing is what he needs. No chance he’ll return on Wednesday when he’s eligible.
Won’t Ed Ramirez in BOS get 2?
@Don: Rodriguez goes Wednesday. Kelly Sunday, Clay Monday, Porcello Tuesday.
Jordan Zimmerman for Joc Pederson. Fair trade?
@Brian: Yeah if one guy needs pitching and has surplus of outfielders and the other needs outfielders and has a surplus of pitching. Trades are always need based.
I’m in a 15 team root keeper and need to drop someone to bring Alex Rios off my DL – better to part with Osuna (Cecil is my 4th closer) or Torii – I have Kemp, Pence, Trumbo, Burns and Rios as other OF.
Thank you and keep up the good work!
@Double H: Osuna
I am not sure I understand where you are coming from, you have McHugh listed under great starts and they you say you don’t like his 2 starts??
So what are you recommending for McHugh?? start him or sit him, I have him in a weekly lock H2H points..
@Malicious Phenom: Fair enough. I should have said that he’s still a player you don’t skip, even if the matchups aren’t the best. I don’t love his two starts but I don’t think he’s a guy you pick and choose with. I suppose if I dropped him behind Buchholz it would have been more appropriate.
I am not sure I understand where you are coming from, you have McHugh listed under great starts and they you say you don’t like his 2 starts??
So what are you recommending for McHugh?? start him or sit him, I have him in a weekly lock H2H points..
I want to pick up Preston tucker in a weekly points league…. I would be dropping rusney Castillo for him because it’s starting to look like Castillo won’t play enough in a bad lineup on a bad team…. Is this advisable or do I hang onto Castillo?
@tals23: I’m not writing off Rusney yet. He’ll play and there will be a player available in three weeks equal to Preston Tucker. Hold…
Greinke over Cole, really? especially with those matchups, don’t get me wrong…. but I’d much rather run out Cole in Sf and Atlanta over a start in Denver and another against the Cards (whom Dodgers can’t seem to beat)… and Greinke is my favorite! anyways, good week
@assy: That’s not a knock on Cole in anyway. Greinke is matchup proof 9 straight quality starts and I don’t expect a so-so Rockies lineup to do enough damage to deflate him. It’s more likely he spins a gem then gets hit. Cole’s great but Greinke is out-pitching everyone from a real baseball standpoint.
@assy: dude he’s not saying to start one of the other. If you’re possibly in a league where it’s so shallow you have to choose between the two it might be time to get more than three teams
@Zeus: U done been Zeused!
@assy: was thinking same exact thing with cole being below greinke.
@A Wesley Snipes Life: I mean it’s close Cole is a good start this week obviously. I’m just not ready to give him the keys to the kingdom.