So, how’s everyone holding up without fantasy baseball every day? I don’t know what to do with myself! This week I wandered into a Starbucks and told the coffeerista about Aaron Sanchez for 2017. Then I sobbed into a cheddar scone until someone asked me to leave. We’ve gone over the final 2016 fantasy baseball rankings for hitters and the top 20 starters. This is different than Final Fantasy rankings where you rank Final Fantasy 1 thru Final Fantasy 15. That’s hardcore nerd shizz! This is simply fantasy baseball, we’re softcore nerds like Emmanuelle. So, there’s no more of these godforsaken recap posts left. You’re welcome. I, my over-the-internet friend, will be talking next about 2017 rookies. Anyway, here’s the top 40 starters for 2016 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:
21. Aaron Sanchez – Couple of things about how off I was with Sanchez. A) I said to draft him in all of your leagues. B) I owned him in a few leagues. C) There’s no C. D) I picked him up off waivers in some leagues so there was obviously no problem getting him. E) I really wish he only threw 130 IP as I projected him for. F) me, I really, really wish he only threw 130 IP. G) E and F were the same thing, and now you expect a G? H) Seriously? I) Stop! Preseason Rank #76, 2016 Projections: 8-9/3.46/1.24/110 in 130 IP, Final Numbers: 15-2/3.00/1.17/161 in 192 IP
22. Jose Quintana – Big picture generalization here, you did not need to reach for top pitchers because all of the guys in this post could’ve either been drafted way after where they’re ranked here or picked up off waivers, except for Hamels, Archer, Samardzija and Carrasco. Then throw in the six starters who surprised in the top 20, and you have 22 starters in the the top 40 who had huge value. And you thought it was a good idea to draft pitchers high. I’d go as far to say if you drafted high starters, you actually did yourself more of a disservice. Don’t believe me? Ask the guy who held Matt Harvey way too long because he drafted him high. Preseason Rank #47, 2016 Projections: 13-10/3.49/1.24/175, Final Numbers: 13-12/3.20/1.16/181
23. John Lackey – One side note on these pitchers, was there anyone in the top 25 starters that was not on a playoff team? Yes, there was, but not a ton. Wanna know why? No? Okay, fine. Oh, you do? Oh, okay. Because good pitching beats good hitting so their teams win, and Wins are a category. Preseason Rank #63, 2016 Projections: 14-11/3.72/1.24/167, Final Numbers: 11-8/3.35/1.06/180
24. Rich Hill – It’s too bad Hill was derailed by a blister that reappeared more than Jason Voorhees, because he was on his way to a top ten starter season, but that’s always been an issue with Hill: his health. Why didn’t the Dodgers just buy a tube of Blistex in August is a question as puzzling as “Why don’t the teams playing the 49ers just start playing the National Anthem in the middle of a play so Kaepernick takes a knee?” Is it too obvious to work? Preseason Rank #77, 2016 Projections: 7-3/3.24/1.22/105 in 90 IP, Final Numbers: 12-5/2.12/1.00/129 in 110 1/3 IP
25. Cole Hamels – Came pretty close to my preseason rank and end of the season one, which doesn’t mean much. I don’t mean that as in my rankings don’t mean much, what I mean is as long as I’m telling you to pick up, say, Duffy, when he’s on waivers, it’s still solid advice even if I ranked Duffy way later. If I ranked Duffy 26th overall in the preseason it would mean I’m a witch, but also unnecessary. You don’t need to rank Duffy 26th overall to own him. You just need to grab him off waivers as I did in two leagues. As for Hamels, you know him. Preseason Rank #22, 2016 Projections: 14-10/3.60/1.18/202, Final Numbers: 15-5/3.32/1.31/200
26. Danny Duffy – He was a thing of beauty to own for the better of the year. Funny (not funny) how things suddenly click for some guys. Duffy showed great stuff — the Duff stuff? — for five years then — bam! — out of nowhere, he puts it all together. Why did I just think of Taijuan for 2017? Stupid brain! Preseason Rank #94, 2016 Projections: 9-10/4.08/1.37/111, Final Numbers: 12-3/3.51/1.14/188
27. Drew Pomeranz – Again, not to harp on how my crazy projections really aren’t that far off, but I was the only one even ranking Pomeranz as a possible starter. Steamer projected him for 71 1/3 IP and 4-4/3.50/1.24/71. As for Pomeranz, I didn’t know he was such a great artist, because he perfectly illustrated the difference between Petco and Fenway, and NL West and AL East. Preseason Rank #114, 2016 Projections: 5-5/3.46/1.22/122 in 125 IP, Final Numbers: 11-12/3.32//1.18/186 in 170 2/3
28. Dan Straily – I’m legit not being daft when I say this, but there’s guys in this top 40 who I’m not even sure how they ranked in the top 40 even after looking at their stats. This goes for Straily and the next guy. Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 14-8/3.76/1.19/162
29. Bartolo Colon – Hahahahahahahahaha–Breathe, Grey, breathe! Bartolo was a top 30 starter?! This isn’t counting leagues with a category for lard, either. Nor a category for Lardasses, or Asses of Lard, or Asses Made of Lard, or Pounds Of Lard in Ass or anything to do with asses, lard of any combination of the two. I would’ve bet my l’chaim there was no way Bartolo was a top 30 starter, even if you bet me yesterday. Oh, and Colon wasn’t even that good this year! 128 Ks and a 3.43 ERA? Blehzeus Cristo. Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 15-8/3.43/1.21/128
30. Jason Hammel – We should have a nickname for the predictable 2nd half collapse of Hammel every year. Doode tires out more than a Goodyear donut. Preseason Rank #52, 2016 Projections: 12-7/3.51/1.19/169, Final Numbers: 15-10/3.83/1.21/144
31. Julio Teheran – This guy is Exhibit A on why you don’t draft based on wins even if you can predict a lack of them. Also Exhibit A on why you don’t draft guys based on how much you want to visit cities that sound like their last name. See also Samardzija, Chechnya. Preseason Rank #65, 2016 Projections: 10-13/3.60/1.25/174, Final Numbers: 7-10/3.21/1.05/167
32. Michael Fulmer – I’m gonna have to look closely at Fulmer for next year, because just about everything he did surprised me, but when I look at his velocity (95 MPH) and his control, I’m even more surprised that he surprised me. Then I was further surprised he had a kinda bleh 7.5 K/9. I am just a big ball of surprised with this guy. Kinda like how I am watching Atlanta with Donald Glover. I did not know he was capable of this, but I am so consistently surprised. Get that Paper Boi! Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 11-7/3.06/1.12/132
33. Carlos Carrasco – He missed fifty innings due to injuries, but, if he would’ve thrown them, I’m convinced he would’ve ended up ranked around 13th overall with 200+ Ks. Not just convinced like a person on Ancient Aliens, but convinced like a mental health professional watching a person on Ancient Aliens. Preseason Rank #13, 2016 Projections: 14-8/3.09/1.04/223, Final Numbers: 11-8/3.32/1.15/150
34. Jeremy Hellickson – I had no intentions on drafting Hellickson this year, but somehow I ended up with him on more teams than any other player. This could be why I had a Wins problem in multiple leagues. It also might illustrate how terrible pitching was this past year. Hellickson was a top 35 starter, and there were lots of moments during the season when I either saw him on waivers and didn’t pick him up or dropped him from my team only to pick him up again. I’m pretty much convinced that there’s little reason to draft a top pitcher, but even less reason to draft a starter in the 20-50 range. You can just go fishing in the starters from 50-100 and try to get lucky, like the legend of the Phoenix. Preseason Rank #137, 2016 Projections: 8-7/4.09/1.31/141, Final Numbers: 12-10/3.71/1.15/154
35. Jerad Eickhoff – As a starter, how do you get into the top 40? Easy, have a K/9 around 7.5 or higher and pitch at least 170 IP. There’s hard evidence that this is all this Jer-khoff did. Preseason Rank #95, 2016 Projections: 7-11/4.06/1.28/139, Final Numbers: 11-14/3.65/1.16/167
36. Chris Tillman – Why should you own middle relievers to help with your ratios? Um, I don’t know, maybe because the 36th best pitcher had a 3.77 ERA and in my RCL a 3.77 ERA would’ve got you only 3 ERA points. If you just drafted a bunch of starters and let them go out there every fifth day, even if those starters were good, they weren’t good enough to win your league. Preseason Rank #99, 2016 Projections: 13-9/4.12/1.31/140, Final Numbers: 16-6/3.77/1.28/140
37. Ian Kennedy – How bad was starting pitching? Well, you can say what you want about whether or not it was accurate to put Kennedy 68th overall in the preseason with the projections I gave him, but those projections were nearly matched and he ended the year as the 37th best pitcher. That makes me sad like Chris Darden being called an Uncle Tom by Johnnie Cochran. Preseason Rank #68, 2016 Projections: 9-11/3.88/1.29/180, Final Numbers: 11-11/3.68/1.22/184
38. Marco Estrada – He recorded more Ks — that’s right, Estrada with the Ponch-outs — than I thought was humanly possible for him. He didn’t even have a full season or ten wins and made the top 40 because his K/9 was 8.4, after a 2015 with a 6.5 K/9. Oddly enough, he upped his K-rate, while losing a mile off his already slow-as-shizz fastball (88 MPH). He did throw a ton more cutters. Though, not as many as Chris Sale at a yard sale. Preseason Rank #103, 2016 Projections: 9-12/4.09/1.22/128, Final Numbers: 9-9/3.48/1.12/165
39. Jeff Samardzija – It’s like all the starters got together and decided we’re not going to be very good, but we’re going to pitch a lot of innings with a 7.5 K/9. There’s likely a Real Housewives of Atlanta GIF for this, because there’s a Real Housewives of Atlanta GIF for every situation. Preseason Rank #38, 2016 Projections: 11-9/3.66/1.19/197, Final Numbers: 12-11/3.81/1.20/167
40. Chris Archer – What a perfect way to encapsulate how terrible starters were this past year. Archer was a top 40 starter, and he was unownable for a majority of the season, and if you started him every time out, you did fine in Ks, but, damn, if his ERA, WHIP and wins didn’t put you in a hole. A hole? Yes, he also made you feel like that for owning him. Preseason Rank #14, 2016 Projections: 12-10/3.02/1.12/238, Final Numbers: 9-19/4.02/1.24/233
