All of the infield has been done for the 2016 fantasy baseball rankings. Where it says 2016 fantasy baseball rankings, that’s a link, and that link goes to the 2016 fantasy baseball rankings where there are more links to all of the positions that have been ranked for 2016 fantasy. Seamless linking! The top 20 outfielders for 2016 fantasy baseball is going to go into the top 40, top 60, top 80 and finally top 100. I love a lot of outfielders this year, and will go over this more at a later time, but I could see myself leaving the top 100 overall with three outfielders while wanting, like, twenty-five of them. Shoot (not you, Dick Cheney!), I desperately want five of the top ten outfielders and I’m not even counting the top four that are a given. McCutchen is the only outfielder in the top ten I’m kinda whatevs on. The last time I was this excited for an outfielder Ryan Klesko was delicately connecting his sideburns to his mustache. Anyway, here’s the top 20 outfielders for 2016 fantasy baseball:
1. Mike Trout – Went over him in the top 10 for 2016 fantasy baseball.
2. Bryce Harper – Went over him in the top 10 for 2016 fantasy baseball.
3. Giancarlo Stanton – Went over him in the top 10 for 2016 fantasy baseball.
4. Kris Bryant – Went over him in the top 10 for 2016 fantasy baseball.
5. Starling Marte – Went over him in the top 20 for 2016 fantasy baseball.
6. Mookie Betts – Went over him in the top 20 for 2016 fantasy baseball.
7. J.D. Martinez – Went over him in the top 20 for 2016 fantasy baseball.
8. Andrew McCutchen – Went over him in the top 20 for 2016 fantasy baseball.
9. George Springer – Went over him in the top 20 for 2016 fantasy baseball.
10. Justin Upton – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Braun. I call this tier, “All make strong cases to be in the top 9 outfielders, with no known law school training.” As I mentioned in the top 20 overall, this tier of players were right there when I was ranking Springer. In the grand scheme of things, this tier isn’t much later than the top 30 overall. When I do a top 100 or top 400 in about ten days, that’ll become clearer. As for Upton, he’s one of those guys that it took the offseason to come back to my senses that he’s definitely worth a relatively high draft pick. If you would’ve asked me in August or September, I likely would’ve said I’m not going near him. And, more than likely, I’ll get to August of 2016, while owning Upton, and will be wondering what the hell I was thinking, but looking at his stats from last year (26 HRs, 19 SBs) and his stats from the previous five years and…Well, guys and five girl readers, I can’t see a reason to not own him. Perhaps this is the worst case of revisionist history since the U.S. claimed the Japanese internment camps’ curfews allowed everyone to get a good night’s sleep. Upton signed with Detroit (finally!) and will be batting in front of the Martini (plural for Martinez) and behind The One Who Drinks Martinis (Miggy), which has to be better than hitting anywhere near Yangervis and Co., which is the least trafficked mall store since ironically The Walking Company. “I’m going to go into The Walking Company and hide from the truancy officer for two months.” That’s you in high school. Obviously being away from Petco will help Upton. …Or will it?! Yes, it will, Reversal Question, though the numbers don’t support that claim. Last year, he hit 15 homers and .277 at home, and 11 HRs and .225 away. Though, as I said on the last podcast and the podcast before that, I really think something else is at work with home/away numbers. I.e., home cooking means more than where the fences are unless you’re in Coors. 2016 Projections: 95/29/102/.254/12
11. Chris Davis – Went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2016 fantasy baseball.
12. Jose Bautista – Joey Bats, as he’s known familiarly, doesn’t neatly fall into this tier, but why are you categorizing people? You racist? Bautista finds himself more in this tier because he’s old, and I surprised myself a little by ranking him this low. Last year’s 40 homers feels like the last time he reaches those heights. I’m just not betting on a 35-year-old to keep staying healthy and keep surpassing previous accomplishments. None of this is to say he’s as terrible as Honey Boo Boo’s reading comprehension, but I’d only expect 32 homers in about 140 games. For full disclosure purposes, or porpoises if dolphins have finally taken over the world, up until the last minute, I had Bautista and Edwin switched in my rankings. 2016 Projections: 88/32/98/.255/5
13. Charlie Blackmon – There were 7 guys last year that stole 30 bags. There were 20 guys that hit 30 homers. Over the last ten years, there have been regularly 16-18 guys that have stole 30 bases a year. Prior to last year, the low for one year in the last decade was 12 players in a year. I’m not abandoning the SAGNOF credo that steals (along with saves) have no face, but guys that give power and speed can’t be ignored for their value, i.e., #BlackmonMatters. Charlie Blackmon’s age gives me a little pause like a Chihuahua. In July, he will turn 30 years old. He just stole 43 bases last year, and I think he might only have one more season of 35 steals in him. I hate that I think he’ll only have one more year of elite speed to go with his 15+ homers. But as long as he has one more year of it, I think we should be okay. You know what else is okay? He’s the leadoff hitter for the Rockies and they play in Coors. You know Coors, that’s the place that made DJ LeMahieu not seem like Pepe LePew and make Nick Hundley not seem like Nick Hundley. Arenado would be a third rounder anywhere but Coors, and CarGo was a 4th outfielder before Coors. Cust kayin’. Am I concerned Blackmon will be traded with the addition of Gerardo Parra? Not much, I think CarGo or Dickerson get moved. If Blackmon is traded, then he’ll obviously be lowered in the rankings. 2016 Projections: 96/19/64/.285/35
14. A.J. Pollock – There’s a good chance that not only is Pollock overrated and long gone by the time he comes up on my draft sheet, but he also has a feel of an overrated post to come in February. Last year, he hit 20 HRs and stole 39 bags. His previous career high was 20 HRs… Oh, I’m sorry. I was actually adding all of his homers from the previous three years combined in the majors and minors. Yeah, that’s silly. He stole 14 bases in 2014 in a half of a season. In 137 games in 2013 with the Diamondbacks, he only stole 12 bases. I get it, he was young then, and he figured out how to use his speed. To the tune of 39 steals though? C’mon. Yeah, I don’t see myself drafting him this year. 2016 Projections: 101/14/63/.291/27
15. Gregory Polanco – Let’s not make this about me. Let’s make this about Steamer… Though, I am taking my homemade Grey Albright puppet and putting a shirt on it that says Steamer. So, my Grey Albright puppet wearing a Steamer shirt says what? My puppet says, “What’s the difference between Marte and Polanco?” I have to say, that is one smart puppet, because there isn’t much difference. Steamer’s projections for Marte: 81/18/76/.286/28; Polanco’s are: 78/14/59/.263/27. Besides the RBIs, that’s essentially the same within a 1% margin of error. Nate Silver can’t even get within that margin of error. Mayor Quimby’s got more “error.” When you move within a 10% margin of error as I like to deal in, you start seeing Polanco could easily be better than Marte. Polanco’s HR/FB last year was 5.5%. That’s goofy low. He could easily have a 10% HR/FB. If he had that last year, he would’ve hit 16 HRs and we’d be talking about how he is definitely better than Marte. Polanco’s track record is short, which I’m starting to think is the dopiest reason to not draft someone. Sure, Polanco didn’t hit lefties well last year, but he hit them at a rate of .313 in the minors and, in August, he homered off the best lefty in baseball, Kershaw, and had his best month on his way to a solid 2nd half. Pollock didn’t have a track record either, until he did it. Bryce Harper’s track record was kinda flimsy going into last year and now he’s a top 3 overall player. Track records are nice for Zola Budd. For us, not as much. Yes, with this ranking, I will own Polanco on every team. 2016 Projections: 101/15/62/.269/30
16. Ryan Braun – He’s progressing well from offseason back surgery and, the plan is, according to the Hebrew Hammer, to be ready for spring training. This brings up a question. Has anyone ever said they wouldn’t be ready for spring training? I mean, teams say a player won’t be ready. Doctors say it. If you ask a player, he’s always ready. Every R&B song sung by a female is right, players lie. I guess we should hate the game. Braun’s numbers were fantastic last year — 25 HRs, 24 SBs, .285. He repeats that, he’s a top 25 player, even with rotten runs and RBIs. Can he repeat it? Meh, I have my doubts, but his stats don’t yell regression. Also, his stadium is nice. Miller is in the same realm as Coors, as in the hitter’s stats there make it seem like you have a nice buzz and the pitchers are piss. 2016 Projections: 90/25/98/.280/14
17. Yoenis Cespedes – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until the top 40 outfielders for 2016 fantasy baseball. I call this tier, “I’d take last year again. That’s not being greedy, is it?” Okay, it prolly is being greedy. All the guys in this tier were in the top 35 for outfielders on the Player Rater last year. Belt was the lowest ranked last year at 35, but I’m anticipating a boost in value from him. Most of the guys in this tier ended much higher last year than they’re ranked now, which means I’m expecting them to fall off a little. It’s optimistic to think they’ll all fall off just a little. Glass is half filled or half empty or filled with Half & Half? Great question. As for Yoenis, the world’s longest tango finally came to an end. The Marachi band was asked to play, “The Dance of the Baseball Free Agent” and it went like this: Yoenis’s Agent to the Mets, “The Angels are very interested in making a deal.” The Angels, “No, we’re not.” Yoenis’s Agent to the Mets, “The Nats want to sign him for five years.” The Nats, “Hey, we hate Michael Taylor almost as much as Drew Storen, but we’re not signing Yoenis.” Yoenis’s Agent to the Mets, “Oh, just make an offer already!” Finally, the Mets tilted their head so the light would gleam off of their pencil-thin mustache and asked Yoenis to dance. Last year, Yoenis’s HR/FB% was a bit high for him as his fly balls dropped. Neither are great signs, but he feels like a 25-28 HR, 5-9 SB guy if all things are neutral and that has value. 2016 Projections: 85/27/102/.278/7
18. Lorenzo Cain – Out of 551 ABs last year, he hit third for 507 ABs and hit 2nd for 43 ABs (he hit cleanup for one at-bat for you completists). I love that. Uh-oh, I feel the Grand Fantasy Master Lothario coming on… Cain…Sugar! Cain..Sugar! Other Royals hitting third rejected, Moustakas’s swing corrected! Alcides, Hosmer and Morales are thoroughly respected! Cain’s stats get divided, fantasy baseballers get excited! Now Infante’s broke and Paulo Orlando is kind of a joke. It’s hard as hell to fight it. Cain? I buy it! 2016 Projections: 97/15/80/.295/25
19. Jason Heyward – Here’s what I said when he signed with the Cubs, “Javier Baez takes another shoveling of dirt as he gets buried further. “Is this a staged Off Broadway adaption of The Revenant?” Javier asks as he spits dirt out of his mouth. “You have a toothpick? I have dirt stuck between my teeth. Hello?” Baez doesn’t know why this shadowy figure won’t stop shoveling dirt on top of his body; he’s obviously not dead. Or is he? Just then, the camera swings around, and, in a crazy twist that only M. Night Shamalamadingdong could’ve came up with, the person that is doing the shoveling is Arismendy Alcantara. “If I can’t have fantasy value, then neither can you!” Arismendy yells as he cackles maniacally. Then, “You still want that toothpick?” And…scene! So, Jason Heyward signs with the Cubs and moves Arismendy and Baez even further down the depth charts. At this point, they are closer to playing on the Padres after a trade than they are at playing in Chicago. Heyward had sneaky value last year, as in it seemed like he disappointed, but since steals are scarcer, and since Heyward provided some value in all categories, he wasn’t that bad. His numbers last year seemed like a poor man’s Lorenzo Cain. I will call him Crack Cocaine. Moving to the stacked Cubs lineup and into Wrigley could provide Heyward’s best season to date.” And that’s me quoting me! 2016 Projections: 87/22/77/.274/15
20. Brandon Belt – Went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2016 fantasy baseball.
