I sure wish Grey would do his 2018 fantasy baseball rankings.  Wait, I am Grey and this is those rankings!  AHHHHH!!!  I need to sit down.  Wait, I am sitting!!!  I can’t handle all of this!!!  I’m going to put on a pair of pants and go dance in the street.  Meh, let’s be honest, pants are a chore.  So, this is the greatest day ever!  Now, only 400,000 words more until I finish my top 500 and I’ll be done.  Worst day ever!  Damn, that excitement was fleeting.  Well, not for you because you don’t have to write all the rankings.  You lucky son of a gun!  I wish I were you… *wavy lines*  Hey, why am I balding and have lost all definition in my buttocks?  *wavy lines*  Hmm, I’m gonna stay me.  Now before we get into the top 10 for 2018 fantasy baseball (though I imagine every single one of you has skipped this intro paragraph), I’m gonna lay down some exposition.  Here’s where you follow us on Twitter.  Here’s where you follow us on Facebook.  Here’s our fantasy baseball player rater.  Here’s our fantasy baseball team name generator.  Here is all of our 2018 fantasy baseball rankings.  Here’s the position eligibility chart for 2018 fantasy baseball.  And here is a picture of my son.  What a punim!  You may not get all of those links in such a handy, easy-to-use format ever again this year, so make proper note.  (Unless you just go to the top menu on this page that says “Rankings” and click it, but semantics, my over-the-internet friend, semantics.)  Also, as you might’ve noticed upfront, this year we’re dipping our big toe into video.  Yes, we only have one big toe, it is not plural.  The preseason videos will be more rankings flotsam that washed up into my brain. They’re also animated to reach that target 7-12 demographic.  That’s not 7 to 12-year-olds, that’s the 7 to 12 adult males that enjoy animation.  If the preseason videos are met with enthusiasm, we’ll continue into the season.

Now my expositional half insists I breakdown some generalizations about these 2018 fantasy baseball rankings.  The 2018 fantasy baseball rankings will be an ever-evolving mass like the blob.  This fantasy baseball top 10 for 2018 list is as of right now and could potentially change with a big injury or Mike Trout quitting baseball because he’s bored with being the best and wants to play competitive Mahjong.  (I’m not sure yet where Trout would rank in my Mahjong Top 10.)  So while it is the 2018 fantasy baseball gospel, take it with a tablet of salt.  Tomorrow we will cover the rest of the top twenty for 2018 fantasy baseball, then we will go around the horn with a top 20 (more like 50) list for every position.  Then for pitchers and outfielders, I’ll turn the dial to 100 (more like 140).  Listed with each player are my 2018 projections.  Did I consult with anyone else who does projections?  It would be ignorant not to, but, in the end, these are my projections.  Players need 5 games started at a position to get included in the positional rankings.  Finally, as with each list in the 2018 fantasy baseball rankings, I will be mentioning where I see tiers start and stop.  I look at tiers like this, if Jose Altuve and Paul Goldschmidt are in the same tier, it doesn’t matter if one guy is ranked 2nd and one guy is ranked 3rd, they’re both very close.  It comes down to personal preference.  I would prefer the guy at number two over the guy at three, but you do you, I’ll do me and let’s hope we don’t go blind.  Anyway, here’s the top 10 for 2018 fantasy baseball:

1. Mike Trout – This tier goes from here until Altuve.  I call this tier, “Cheating on Beyonce.”  Doing my best (awful) Jay Z impersonation, “Geyeah, this is a Razzclusive.  Gebounce.  Gebounce.  Uh, uh uh uh uh.  Ge-ge-geyeah, geyeah.  Ge-ge-geyeah, geyeah. You know I thug em, draft em, love em, leave em, cause I don’t need em.  This tier be big pimpin, spreadin’ cheese.  This tier be big pimpin, cheese on T.R.I.S.C.U.I.T’s.  Gebounce, gebounce.  Watch me pop, gimme a high gebounce, gebounce, geyeah it’s now a Baltimore chop.  Geyeah.  Jigga man’s got the greatest girl in the world.  Oh, baby Blue, your mother is so beautiful, I love her so much, geyeah.  Gehey, gehey, who is that, girl under the sycamore tree with the dimpled-chin, I think I’ll give her my lil’ Jigga man.  Oh, man, I cheated on Bey.  Jigga what?  Jigga who?  Oh, Jigga, you just so dumb.  I can’t respect that, my whole perspective is wack.  I can’t respect that, my whole perspective is wack. (repeat 7x)  Things just ain’t the same for gangstas, but I saw a girl with a butt on her chin and I banged her.  Now I’m so gesad.  So gesad.”  Do you see the torment Jay-Z is going through by cheating on Beyonce?  That’s why this tier is named what it is, because if you don’t draft one of these guys in the first three you’ll be met with similar anguish.  Don’t cheat on Beyonce.  As for Trout, yeah, he’s awesome.  2018 Projections:  116/40/105/.312/18 in 541 ABs

2. Jose Altuve – Once I was blind, but now I see.  Once I saw Altuve as nothing more than a tippy-toe away from five-three.  I was wrong, prematurely balding men and five girl readers.  Altuve still looks ridiculously similar to Casper from Eastbound and Down.  UnCanny.   What’s also uncanny is the cans of corn Altuve hits.  As in, they’re not cans of corn, they’re hard hit liners.  See, cause I called them uncanny.  As in not canned.  It’s not getting better with an explanation, is it?  Never the hoo!  Last year, I said, “(In 2016), Altuve reached new heights 24 HRs, 96 RBIs, 108 runs, 61 inches, and I’m not totally convinced these won’t all stay career highs, as he peers down at lesser stats and the tops of 8-year-olds’ heads.”  And that’s me quoting me!  See, I was blind.  Apparently, Altuve can repeat those highs while wrasslin’ with carnies as he tries to get on a roller coaster that has a 5’2″ height requirement.  2018 Projections:  111/23/92/.329/30 in 593 ABs

3. Trea Turner – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Giancarlo.  I call this tier, “Buzzfeed Quiz, How Gay Are You?”  Okay, I’m taking this directly from said Buzzfeed quiz.  “What color do you think of yourself as?”  Hmm, is Giancarlo a color?  Can I choose fuchsia, but pronounce it fuks-ya, so it’s a super gay color but it’s a hella manly way to pronounce it?  “Do you enjoy consensual sexual encounters with or feel a sexual attraction to baseball players?”  *pulls on collar like Rodney Dangerfield*  Next question please.  “What city do you see yourself living in:  San Fran, London, Tokyo, Trea Taintsville?”  Uhh… “What’s your drink of choice?”  Mookie Betts with a drink umbrella behind his ear?  Does that count?  Moving on!  I love all the guys in this tier.  Sure, Pitfall Harry, there could be unexpected quicksand death spills, but if I had a pick from 4 thru 9, I’d be happy.  As for Treat Urner, he had 11 HRs and 46 SBs in only 98 games last year.  I will now laugh hysterically.  Doode’s in hashtag beastmode, and I can’t handle it.  He upped his walk rate, lowered his strikeout rate and was actually a hair unlucky last year hitting ‘only’ .284.  Honestly, I considered putting him in the first tier, and think he could easily be the number one hitter for all of fantasy in 2018.  A 20+ HR, 45+ SB season seems s’attainable.  2018 Projections:  110/16/63/.302/47 in 581 ABs

4. Bryce Harper – One of these years we’re going to see the 50 HR, 20 SB, .330 season from Bryce, and now you’re thinking about how you haven’t been hornier for a man since Heath Ledger died.  “He’s such a gritty Joker,” you say to yourself as you touch your nipples.  That’s what Bryce is gonna do to you.  More than likely, we’re going to see a month or two from Bryce that makes him seem headed for a 50/20 season, but then he takes a dookie for a month and you’re thinking about selling him for two Susan B.’s and a two dollar bill.  He’s still only 25 years old, and, barring an injury, I see little reason he’ll be worse than a top 25 hitter, with a chance of being the absolute best.  2018 Projections:  96/35/109/.308/12 in 533 ABs

5. Nolan Arenado – I can’t believe I found these love letters from Lorena Hickok to Eleanor Roosevelt in my family archives, and by ‘family archives’ I mean a trash bin in the attic.  I’m just going to sit these historically priceless letters by the window while I grab a chamomile tea–NOOOOO!!!!  Torenado!  Arenado is the first player ranked to have a negative for one category (steals), but he’s also the first player who will play half his games on the moon with an aluminum bat.  The negative on steals has me actually down on Arenado, in a non-sexual way, compared to where I could see him being drafted in some leagues.  I weighed which order to put Arenado, Harper and Trea for more time than I want to admit to (37 seconds), but two to four steals is just too much of a meh number to put Arenado higher.  2018 Projections:  105/39/126/.291/3 in 602 ABs

6. Paul Goldschmidt – These first two guys this year are the same as last year.  Know what that means?  No, you don’t because no one knows what that means, but it’s provocative.  Au Shizz is going to be 31 years old this year, and had his lowest steals total in four years.  Though, he also had a career year in power, runs, and ISO, so (stutterer!) I think he can stave off the inevitable decline that comes to all supermen, except for Superman.  Though, if George Reeves, Christopher Reeve, Brandon Routh and Dean Cain are any indication, Henry Cavill should’t get too comfortable in the limelight.  Guess what I’m saying is I expect Goldschmidt to remain Goldschmidt, and not suddenly become Bitcoinschmidt.  UPDATE:  I got shook by the humidor and lowered Goldy from 2nd overall to here.  What if the humidor does dramatically lower homers?  What if the humidor gets in Au Shizz’s head?  What if it is the dankest of timelines for Goldy?  What if the humidor reminds Yasmany of Cuban cigars, and he starts telling all sorts of anecdotes and Goldschmidt is like, “Shut up already,” and when he says that he throws out his back?  So many questions, not enough answers for the 2nd pick in a draft.  I’d still draft Au Shizz because he’s a rock in four of five categories, but if the power falls perceptibly I’m gonna be Googling what perceptibly means and won’t be as happy with Au Shizz.  2018 Projections:  108/30/111/.303/15 in 551 ABs

7. Mookie Betts – Mookie Ballgame had a down year last year, so he’s no longer Mookie Best?  He’s a snooze away from being a sleeper?  Put him out to pasture like a 15-year-old jockey who has a growth spurt?  Goodbye, Mr. Betts?  *pushes button under desk, Matt Lauer rises from the floor*  “Hey, that’s my desk.”  Get out of here, Lauer!  I was trying to dispose of Betts Bond-villain-style because he’s over!  Yeah, well, we know this is all lootie-cris.  Last year, Betts’ BABIP was .268, which is crazy low for him.  And that’s in a home park that puts up Donkey Kong numbers for BABIP.  Yes, Betts’ line drives were down, and his fly balls were up, which is a good way to have a poor BABIP, but his Ks were solid, in line with his previous year.  His walks were up to 10.8% vs. 6.7% the year before, and his hard contact rate was up, so I think we’re seeing a slight downtick on Betts’ placement on draft boards that will go back up again next year.  2018 Projections:  104/25/109/.305/25 in 605 ABs

8. Manny Machado – This tier could also be named Mike Seaver or FOB, Friend of Boner.  I imagine after 2018 we’re gonna look back at Machado’s 2016 season when he didn’t steal any bases, and think, “Wow, that was really an aberration.”  Then after a long beat, we’ll think, “I should Google ‘aberration’ so I make sure I’m using it correctly.”  Then, five hours later, “I was just Googling the definition of one word, how did I end up on the Wikipedia page for Serge Voronoff, a doctor famous in the 1920s for using monkey testicles for therapeutic purposes?  And how has Joaquin Phoenix not played him in a movie yet?”  Machado had a similar year to Betts in that his average was unduly suppressed due to an abnormally low BABIP.  Also, similarly to Betts, there was some reason — his LD% was way down and his ground balls were up (not literally).  As with Betts, I’m not too worried.  Machado’s 2nd half was a bounce back, and his LD% went from 13.9% to 17.6%, his Ks went from 19.7% to 13.2% and his BABIP rebounded from .239 to .290, which yielded a .290 average post-All-Star break.  Thus far, Machado’s ADP looks way below this, so there’s buying in thar hills.  Or, if Dean Smith is reading, Tar Heels.  2018 Projections:  103/36/93/.288/9 in 617 ABs

9. Giancarlo Stanton – Here’s my Giancarlo Stanton fantasy.  I wrote it while getting dirty looks at a supermarket for checking cantaloupes for ripeness.   2018 Projections: 107/53/121/.273/3 in 547 ABs

10. Kris Bryant – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until the top 20 for 2018 fantasy baseball.  I call this tier, “ADP says what?”  I don’t like to get too tied down with ADP.  So, I’m not into B-ADP-SM?  If I know my acronyms of the dark web correctly, that’s exactly what I’m saying.  This tier takes what I’m seeing so far with ADP and throws it out the window.  Though, honestly, after I ranked Trea Turner, I looked to see his ADP and I was like, “Wow, I guess I’m owning MLB’s number one Treat Urner everywhere.”  Yeah, I don’t know what people are thinking.  I’m ranking guys for their value, and where you want to draft them.  From the ADP I’m seeing, people are drafting off some amorphous chart that lacks clarity, size and/or shape.  Okay, now I’m just defining amorphous.  I saw somewhere people are going with Correa over Bryant.  Um, okay, if it stops us from getting in a nuclear war with Korea, then great.  Otherwise, that’s batshizz crazy.  Bryant is 26 years old, and capable of a 100/35/100/.290/10 without even breaking a sweat.  Last year, he had 73 RBIs, but RBIs are stoopid, and you shouldn’t be avoiding a guy because of that.  Everything else?  Let’s see, his Ks went down from his MVP year, walks went up, average went up, his HR/FB% was low for him and he still hit over 40% in the air.  He swung at less balls outside the zone, and made more contact.  His ground balls were a little troublesome, but I see no reason why he can’t u-turn that trend.  And, even if he doesn’t, he’s still a 100/35/100/.290/10 guy!  I’m not pie-eyed, but I Anita Bryant!  2018 Projections:  108/35/95/.290/10 in 558 ABs

 
  1. Boomer19 says:
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    Thanks Grey!

  2. thatguy says:
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    The Orioles must be so jazzed for 103/36/93/.288/9, a compensatory draft pick, then nothing else ever again. Hey, if it gets em from 5th to 4th this year who am I to criticize! They are so wise!

    • J-Hova says:
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      @thatguy:

      Haha, well they may still get two “controllable” starters? Maybe they go all in on Vargas like they did Gallardo and Jimenez and can stay in wild card contention through May!

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        @J-Hova: Surprised the O’s haven’t made a run at Bartolo yet…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @thatguy: Don’t worry, the Mets got A-Gon, everything is right with the world!

      • Dave_W says:
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        @Grey:

        I’m sure his back feels better already with that great training staff. Mets have to have the worst training staff in pro sports.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          HAHA

  3. Captainpyper says:
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    Lets go rankings 2018!

    My grey prediction…

    Trout
    Altuve
    Goldy
    Turner
    Arenado
    Harper
    Machado
    Betts
    Freeman
    Stanton

    Close!

    • El Marco says:
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      @Captainpyper: Love me some Freeman this year

  4. JakeTPE says:
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    Hello Grey!

    Yay! The release of Razzball’s Top 10 for Fantasy Baseball is of course the unofficial start of baseball season!

    Needless to say, it’s a fantastic day. And now with added Video!! This is great!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @JakeTPE: Glad you enjoyed!

  5. Not the real Hubie Brooks says:
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    When I lived in the US I used to think of this post each year as the first robin of spring, now that I live in Australia, I don’t know what it is–the first bilby of fall? Or maybe some sort of monotreme. Hooray for autumnal monotremes!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Not the real Hubie Brooks: I’ll tell ya, the idea of watching baseball all winter and having summers free sounds pretty awesome…

  6. Brian says:
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    It is a merry Christmas and a happy holiday all at once. What a wonderful life today is! Happy happy joy joy.
    Thank u Grey…..errr Santa
    Today we got our wings.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Brian: Haha, merry merry!

  7. Nick says:
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    Looks like i’m starting GREAT with my keeper team :

    Goldy , Alty & TreaT

    and if i keep Springer (35HR) / Myers (30/20) / Lamb (30hR) / and maybe Gallo (40HR) as well !!
    Powaaaaaaaaa

    :)

    Nick

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Nick: Wow, nice keepers!

  8. PeteforHall says:
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    HNY Grey! 5 Keepers, points league, no salary or contracts. Who do you drop from my top 6?

    Trout
    Harper
    Turner
    Kershaw
    Correa
    Bryant

    I am struggling to decide in a starter-friendly league where big points are awarded for Wins.
    thank you sir.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Correa

  9. VinWins

    VinWins says:
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    You probably don’t realize this, but we just skip the intro paragraph.

    Got to be getting hard to make it through 400,000 words as you age. Of course, there were 13 words in this post you could have left out. So you could probably cut out 500 words over the course of the preseason and save yourself. Good luck!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @VinWins: Haha, I said that! I finished Goliath, it was solid, felt like a Damages-type show… Which 13 words?

      • VinWins

        VinWins says:
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        @Grey: Hmm, didn’t see your mention of that. I liked Damages, so Goliath is added to my list. I’ll wait to give you the full 500-word list at the endfor simplicity. Should help with 2019.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Yeah, Goliath is solid fun, easy watch… No subtitles needed!

  10. Swfcdan says:
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    I never knew you were so good looking!

    Can keep a $6 Cozart or $7 Scooter, any value in either? Both had big years especially in my OBP league, but both look like they could be total flukes.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Swfcdan: Haha… No value prolly, but size of league matters

      • Swfcdan says:
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        @Grey: 12er. What you think of both for next year? Could wait till rankings but give me a sneak-peek please…umm I mean my keeper deadlines tommorow!

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          They’re not worth keeping in a 12 teamer, but I guess depends on your other options…

  11. El Marco says:
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    Morning Grey! 2 Keeper Pts league – I have Trout, Betts, Turner, Stanton, Bellinger, Lindor.

    Can only keep 2 but could trade a players to move up in the draft. Also, note that steals are only 1pt and SO are -1pt. Thanks!

      • El Marco says:
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        @Grey: Thanks!

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          No problem

  12. The Vaporizers says:
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    I didn’t skip the intro but wished I skipped the Trout blurb. Wtf was that?

  13. Greydalf the WHIPzard says:
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    I’m in a 2-keeper league and I have Trea, Machado, Votto, and the Judge. After last year I’m worried that Machado is setting a new normal.

    Do you think Many can beat the Judge in ops?

    • jbona3 says:
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      @Greydalf the WHIPzard: personally I’d keep Trea and Judge…with those two on your roster you have category winners (SB and HR).

    • OldNavy says:
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      @Greydalf the WHIPzard: I like Trea and Votto. I want one of the top 5 1st baseman.

  14. jbona3 says:
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    Hey Grey, looking forward to the rest of the rankings and all the great work from Ralph, Rudy, and everyone else!

    In an auction keeper league, how does this deal strike you: my Bryant ($37), C. Seager ($15), JBJ ($10) for Freeman ($29), Darvish ($20), and Blackmon ($23)?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Thanks! I’d take the Freeman side

  15. MattTruss

    MattTruss says:
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    Lookin good in clay Grey! Think you might need to lay off the bronzer a bit though…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Ha, thanks!

  16. Sweatpants Nation says:
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    @realDonaldTrump
    Razzball releases FANTASY Baseball rankings. These are going to be very very very beautiful rankings. The REAL rankings. Other mainstream rankings are FAKE! Only Grey is Master Baseball Lotherio. All others are not good. Too bad!

    • The Eye of Horus says:
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      @Sweatpants Nation: Everyone says Grey has the best rankings. Believe me. And everyone knows there is no collusion in these rankings. Trust me, everyone keeps saying that there is no collusion in these rankings.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Haha

  17. Hawk says:
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    ::: Cheering the return of January Grey and the Top 10s!::::

    Welcome back you sexy beast!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Thanks!

  18. Malicious Phenoms says:
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    Dude, like the guy above me said, WTF is the Trout blurb about??

    You are brilliant at baseball and you really know your stuff, BUT, all this other bullshit has really turned me off from this site.

    You wouldn’t have to write all those 400,00 words if you just stick to baseball and TALK baseball.

    Be a professional baseball guy,. Look at Ralph, Halp, Mike and so on and read their blurbs, they talk baseball! That is really all us loyal readers want from you is your baseball EXPERTISE!!!!

    If I want a clown, I’ll go to the circus!!

    • Fungazi says:
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      @Malicious Phenoms: The blurb is poking fun at the fact that what’s the point in having a detailed analysis on the best player in the league in his prime?

      You go to the circus to visit your family. Or was it the zoo.

    • Alcibiades Escobar says:
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      @Malicious Phenoms: This message is sponsored by the #MAGA Coalition to End the War of Free Fantasy Baseball Content. If you are among the millions of patriotic Americans upset at the liberal clown coup against our free fantasy baseball content, please consider making a donation today.

    • Sweatpants Nation says:
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      @Malicious Phenoms: You take fantasy way too seriously, dude. Lighten up.

    • Bill Lumbergh says:
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      @Malicious Phenoms: You’re clearly speaking for yourself. Majority of readers enjoy the site, content, and humor. Perhaps you’ll find ESPN or CBS more to your liking…

    • Wild Thing says:
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      @Malicious Phenoms:

      MP – What do you really want Grey to say about Trout??? Like he can tell you something you don’t already know. Pretty sure this is why Grey wrote that first paragraph which I found entertaining. . If don’t like what you are reading after a sentence, maybe stop reading and move to something else?

    • Jean Genie says:
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      @Malicious Phenoms: Grey – Thank you for the many, many hours you put into your annual rankings, sleeper, schmohawk, rookies, and all the other posts. It’s really great work.

        • Old School Brother says:
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          @J-FOH: J-FOH!

          • Grey

            Grey says:
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            He went back to JFOH? Uh-oh…

            • J-FOH says:
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              @Grey: January-FOH

              • Grey

                Grey says:
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                Oh…Of course!

                • J-FOH says:
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                  @Grey: Im pigging backing on you

                  • Grey

                    Grey says:
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                    You’re piggybacking on me? I’m reminded of the Gang Starr song, Who’s Gonna Take the Weight?

                    • J-FOH says:
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                      @Grey: Is that a fat dig? Are you fat shaming?

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Aw, man, now I feel guilty

    • Crime dog says:
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      @Malicious Phenoms: yeah same I’m pissed. Now I have no idea whether or not I should draft Mike Trout if I get the first pick of the draft. WTF Grey? Before this post I was dead set on taking Mike Trout 1, now I don’t know! is 40 home runs good? is 20 steals good? is a 1.000 OPS good? thought I know, now I don’t! guess I’ll just go listen to lemonade. Thanks for nothing.

      • Crime dog says:
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        @Crime dog: sorry forgot to add…. It’s just that Trout mayne, PIMP C and B.U.N.B.

    • Whatever says:
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      @Malicious Phenoms: @Malicious Phenoms: When you have a fantasy blog that attracts thousands of fans and has won numerous championships for people with insight you cant find anywhere else then you can post whatever the fuck you want. As for now, go suck it.

    • A2K says:
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      @Malicious Phenoms:

      What can I say about Malicious Phenom that hasn’t already been said about Afghanistan?

  19. Curt C says:
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    Love the list, bur Correa should be top 10,

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Thanks, I don’t agree about Correa, but apples/oranges…

  20. Wild Thing says:
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    It’s the best day of the year!!!! Thanks Grey!!!!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Thanks!

  21. Ralph Lifshitz

    Ralph Lifshitz says:
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    I came here with the singular intent of finding out if Mike Trout was good. You sir, have done me no favors. All I got from this is Mike Trout is Beyonce, which means Mike Trout is racist and a member of the illuminati.

    Sorry, I only get news from my uncle’s Facebook.

    • The Eye of Horus says:
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      @Ralph Lifshitz: Ralph, just a quick comment. I thought I would be devastated by the loss of Halp a lot in your podcasts, but Lance is a great find, and I like dynamic you two bring. Thanks a lot for your continued work. I eagerly await each and every podcast.

      • Ralph Lifshitz

        Ralph Lifshitz says:
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        @The Eye of Horus: I have replacements lined up for my replacements replacements! I’m like Alice Cooper with guitar players!

        • J-FOH says:
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          @Ralph Lifshitz: Am I still the replacements replacement or am I the replacements replacement replacement? I was confused by the new years email you sent all of us

          • Ralph Lifshitz

            Ralph Lifshitz says:
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            @J-FOH: I like to keep you at arms length. Can’t let the other replacements know the order…

            • J-FOH says:
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              @Ralph Lifshitz: I did come up with Broshitz. Its at the top of my resume

    • Sweatpants Nation says:
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      @Ralph Lifshitz: Refrencing the illuminati on a fantasy baseball blog? How dare you, sir. Stick to baseball!. I want only baseball! Stop joking around. This is serious business. (takes rubber nose off, so he can take a deep breath)

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I hate to break it to you, but your uncle is in the illuminati, and, well, a little racist…

      • Ralph Lifshitz

        Ralph Lifshitz says:
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        @Grey: Explains his various hooded robes.

        Perhaps it explains his nicknames for my Jewish Mother too.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Did you hear that thing during the holidays by the Girl Scouts about hugs? They were talking about your uncle.

          • Old School Brother says:
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            @Grey: “Hop up on big pappa’s lap and give me a cookie sweetie” -Unkie Lifshitz