Even Charo’s Jealous Of The Mariners’ Kikuchi Coup

January 10, 2019 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 104 Comments

I was waiting for Manny Machado or Bryce Harper to sign before dropping the last bit of offseason signings before the rankings that start on Monday, but apparently the Phillies only have $300 million for each, and they want $325-plus respectively, so we need to go forward with the news without Machado and Bryce. The last bit of big news was Yusei Kikuchi signing with the Mariners. He reminds me of every other Japanese pitcher, but not in a raycess way. He reminds me of Miles Mikolas too, who was only Asian after being reborn. It’s something about Asian pitchers, and non-Asian pitchers who go to Asia and return; they exercise some serious control. Maybe it’s the culture. I had a robot watch Gung Ho 15,000 times to tell me what it thinks and now the robot is speaking super-racist. Yo, robot, why are you so culturally inappropriate? “I have no culture of my own, so I adopt yours. And I kill puppies.” AHHH!!! ROBOT MURDERER!!! RUN!!! Or roll your swivel chair towards a door if running is too much for you. Kikuchi, which is going to be fun for me to say this year, comes with a lot less fanfare than Ohtani, but I do think he can be better than him, pitching-wise, in his first full season. Ohtani is a unicorn in Babe Ruth’s body, we all know this. Kikuchi reminds me of Mikolas and Ryu and others in that mold. He’s a decent strikeout guy, but won’t blow people away, while also having impeccable command. I’m definitely looking to draft him this year, then passing him up every other year when he fails to throw 130 IP in consecutive seasons because the Japanese also completely overwork their starters. In fact (Grey’s got more!), the Mariners have already said Kikuchi will only throw an inning or so every fifth or sixth start to try to preemptively avoid the inevitable arm injury that befalls every Japanese starter. For 2019, I’ll give Kikuchi projections of 9-7/3.67/1.18/136 in 151 IP. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason for 2019 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Then I Saw Those Ks, Now I’m a Belieber

June 23, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 37 Comments

by: Dan Pants

Cleveland Indians rookie Shane Bieber was dominant Friday night in just his third career start, pitching seven innings, allowing just four base runners and striking out nine for his second win. Talk about a reason to Love Yourself. The Biebs now holds a 2.45 ERA and 1.36 WHIP through his first three starts (18.1 IP) and his 22/3 K/BB is Despacito–at least I think it’s despacito, not 100% sure I know what that means. I’m saying it’s flames. Shane Bieber is striking out lots of batters. Oh Baby, Baby. Baby sign me up. Wow, you sure do know a lot of Justin Bieber songs. What do you mean? I make it my business to know all about the Beibebers. For example, in the minors this year Shane was 6-1 with a 1.29 ERA, 0.77 WHIP and a 72/6 K/BB. If those numbers make you scream like a teenage girl and and write Shane’s name is cursive flirty letters on your notebook you’re not alone, Beiber’s got the stuff to be a bonafide heart throb. He will likely see the usual rookie pitchers highs and lows, but he’s looking like the favorite to run away with the fifth rotation spot in Cleveland. He’ll get a rougher assignment than Detroit next time out taking on the Cardinals in St. Louis but I’d grab Shane for the upside alone and hope he can make a Belieber out of all of us.

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Johnny Lasagna Saucy In Debut

June 16, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 43 Comments

by: Dan Pants

All gravy as us Italians-Americans say. New York Yankees rookie flamethrower slash phenom slash spot starter Jonathan Loaisiga made his major league debut Friday night pitching five strong shutout innings, giving up just three hits, four walks and striking out six for his first MLB vicky in ever. Called up from Double-A Trenton Johnny was 3-1 with a 3.00 ERA, 1.13 WHIP, and 58/4 K/BB ratio through 45 innings. If that K/BB just made your eyes pop like mine did, it’s because the four walks he issued last night in his debut are the same number he’s walked all season in AA. Perhaps some of the struggles he had with his control Friday night were more nerves or jitters and less indicators of what’s to come from Loaisiga. Despite the four free passes, he was excellent out of the gate, Johnny Lasagna layered on the cheese, striking out four in the first two innings with his real pretty mid-90s fastball mixed in with his slider (17 swings and misses induced) and was helped out by a couple double plays. He hit some trouble in the fourth, but managed to pitch his way out of a sticky bases-loaded two-out situation by striking out Christian Arroyo. Yankee fans are calling him “Johnny Lasagna” because he’s a-spicy meatballs-a! Mama mia! Rays manager Kevin Cash called him Little Riviera. That seems a bit over-the-top as well. Either way, I am calling him a player to watch after that performance. Lil’ Jon is telling you to Get Loaisiga, but Jon always jumps the gun on these rookie pitchers. Loaisiga’s first major league stint might be a short one, but I could see him sticking around for another start or two while Masahiro Tanaka is still on the DL and much like this whole Yankees team, his future is very bright. He lines up for another home start next week versus the red-hot Mariners, and I could see streaming him there and for the short term. Add him or no, Johnny Lasagna is not just Garfield’s new favorite player, he’s a name fantasy baseballers are going to hear a lot going forward. He was a BUY and he’s worth a grab for the upside alone, the layers of cheese and pasta are all just bonus.

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Morton’s Steakhouse In Houston Now Serving Wild Game

June 11, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 519 Comments

by: Grey

[brid autoplay=”true” video=”254222″ player=”10951″ title=”Fantasy Baseball Buy Sell Hold Week 11″]

On Saturday, Charlie Morton went 3 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 1 Hit (!), 6 BBs (Oy), 4 Ks, ERA at 2.82 vs. the never-seen-nothing-that-was-too-terrible-to-swing-at Rangers, no less. I can think of another word that rhymes with Chazz to call Morton. It sounds a bit like the spa we operated back in 2010. Don’t you remember Spazzball? The retreat for prematurely balding men who had to check in with their moms once a day. You don’t remember the Ballpark Water in the lobby that we floated hot dogs in? It was poorly conceived, for sure. Like this start by Morton, where he said, “I think over the course of the past couple weeks my delivery’s just kind of gotten a little out of whack and timing has gotten a little out of whack. And today was just really bad. It has to do with my front side. I’m just flying open.” Well, at least he feels bad and seems to know the issue, right? You don’t have a category for empathy in your league? Can you check with your commish about adding it? For unstints, if a player yawns after another player yawns, then they get an empathy point. No? Okay. Hopefully, Morton can right the ship, but I can’t say I’m not concerned. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Draft: Jump For Sevy

June 10, 2018 | DFS, Draft |

by: Thomas Howland

There’s a common refrain heard all across New York these days. Come on, you know it well….All Rise. Now that’s reserved for a certain gargantuan pinstriped outfielder, but today Yankees fans will be jumping up to cheer Luis Severino. Sevy, as he is lovingly known, has spent the year carving up the league, including the powerful Astros. Today he gets the Mets, who in the best of times hit him to a Mendoza-like .162 average and .581 OPS. It is the worst of times for the Mets, so expecting any resistance to a Severino fastball is just plain foolish. It may be tempting to take Max Scherzer with an early pick, but it is expected to rain and rain some more in Washington today. Kluber is also on the docket, but the Tigers hit a sneaky .791 OPS against him. Instead, grab Luis Severino and get a jump on the competition. Now let’s look at a few more early-, middle- and late-round picks for your Draft…drafts!

New to Draft? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Draft: Severino Can Cure The Mondays

June 4, 2018 | DFS, Draft |

by: Butters

Hello and welcome back to another Monday. Too bad you have to go to work on this one. Can you imagine if all Mondays were holidays? I guess then people would get a case of the Tuesdays. Anyhoo, I’ve got a real case of the Mondays because today is a short slate. No not a clean slate, a short slate, as in there aren’t that many games. Now what does this mean for you? Well, first of all, it means you better draft Luis Severino today. Make him your top pick on Draft.com. He’s the only ace going today and it’s pretty slim pickins after him. Did I mention he’s been one of the best pitchers all season? And that now he’s facing Detroit, a team that, shall we say, hasn’t been the best? Add it all up and carry the one. Or don’t, I’m here to give fantasy advice, not teach math. Just make sure you prioritize Severino. The rest of the Yankees should be good options, too, and I’ll touch on some below.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Jeter Blew Up the Marlins But Needed Sean To Newcomb

May 14, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 526 Comments

by: Grey

Hope everyone had a nice Mother’s Day! Or, as it’s known in my house, Bill Hall Day. *it’s 2074, Grey Albright’s frozen head is on a shelf next to Ted Williams’ frozen head* “Hey, Ted Williams, Happy Bill Hall Day.” “You’ve been calling it that for 65 years.” “It’ll catch on by next year. By the way, you have a booger-icicle hanging from your nose.” For Mother’s Day for Cougs, I took a picture of our dog Ted’s penis, then Photoshopped it into Bill Hall’s hands, so it looked like a pink bat. Of course, I inscribed it, “You’re always a home run to me.” I’m so romantic! Any hoo! Sean Newcomb silenced the Marlins pink bats and pink jerseys and pink hats — were they also advertising Anna Faris’ new movie, because they went Overboard! — 6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners (1 hit), 6 Ks, ERA at 2.51. Of course, this matchup wasn’t the hardest, but his peripherals (10.4 K/9, 4.2 BB/9, 3.65 xFIP) look close to that of a number two to three fantasy starter. Not bad since he was drafted as number five. He’s one bad mother! Or May the Bill Hall Be With You. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Opening Day And The Balls Are Juiced (So Are The Baseballs)

March 30, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 289 Comments

by: Grey

For Opening Day, I woke up at the crack of dawn on the West Coast, because no one in this godforsaken country cares about the West Coast. Once I had my coffee and vape set up for a full day of baseball, I saw the Pirates/Tigers game was postponed and thought about how they should have their seasons postponed. “I Mahtook you for a friend of the Tooks!” That’s Mikie Mahtook. Finally, I opened the MLB app on my iPad to find I had forgotten my password. Cut to two hours later, and I was ready to watch some baseball! Then Carlos Martinez gave up multiple runs on multiple fantasy teams of mine and I was ready to nap again. Ah, it’s good to be back! Speaking of which, I’ll trade you Carlos Martinez for a bag of Dick Pole’s. Doesn’t matter which bag. Maybe the one Salvador Perez was carrying. You know what would’ve been Sweet Baby Jesus of me? If I benched that goofy-haired, can’t-keep-his-hands-to-himself Cardinals pitcher. Not to worry, I had Chris Archer going later in the day. *sees Kiermaier and Span misplay a Eduardo Nunez ball into an inside-the-parker, crawls under bed* Fantasy baseball: When everyday stress is just not enough. Any hoo! It’s good to be back, now let’s get down to business. Matt Davidson went 3-for-4, 4 runs, 5 RBIs with his 1st, 2nd and third homer. Someone wants to be Tuffy Rhodes. “Not bad for five innings.” Oh, shut up, Mark Whiten! Do we have our first hot schmotato?! I schmay schwe schdo! Sounded better in my head! Davidson won’t be in today’s Buy column, but he could’ve been. I grabbed him in my RCL, because I’m in straight panic mode and Joe Panik is already owned! Yes, there’s a Buy/Sell later today. You’re welcome. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Top 100 Starters for 2018 Fantasy Baseball

February 6, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 157 Comments

by: Grey

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With these top 100 starters for 2018 fantasy baseball, I’ve finished our (my) 2018 fantasy baseball rankings for positions. Still coming will be a top 100 overall and top 500 to see how all the positions mesh together like your mesh Redskins jersey that meshes with your burgundy sweatpants. Trust me, when you see how long this post is, you’ll be glad I kept this intro short. As always, my projections are included, and where I see tiers starting and stopping. If you want an explanation of tiers, go back to the top 10 overall and start this shizz all over again. Anyway, here’s the top 100 starters for 2018 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

What Do Ynoa – Another Ex-Met Pitcher Does Well

September 22, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 93 Comments

by: Grey

Yesterday, Gabriel Ynoa threw a gem, 8 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 3.41 in just under 32 IP. His name is pronounced EE-know-a. As they say, the more you EE-know-a. Ynoa was only at 94 pitches, so don’t you let Ynoa try for the complete game? I mean, Ynot? He looks like a number five starter, though on the Orioles that likely means a number three starter. He can touch mid-90’s with his fastball, but he’s missing a decent breaking ball and tends to get beat up by lefties, like Fox News. Though, better things may await him because the Mets traded him away. He will likely come up a little short of the Mets’ all-time worst trade of Nolan Ryan, and even their 2nd worst trade of Amos Otis to the Royals for a prospect with a giant baseball head. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Two-Start Starters, Week 21: Say Nolasco To Skaggs

August 19, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Two Start Pitchers | 24 Comments

by: mikeMaher

Greetings from beautiful New Jersey. If you say otherwise, as someone born and raised in New Jersey I am legally obligated to fight you with my shirt off. I’m sorry, but I don’t make the rules. Even though I am just here visiting, these laws are still binding. Strange, I know. But true. Very true. Ask Grey if you don’t believe me.

Given how the first 20 weeks have gone, putting two Dodgers pitchers at the top of this list just seems like a tease. We know what is going to happen by Monday, so why do we torture ourselves? If we have learned anything this season, it’s that Dave Roberts hates every single one of us and does not want us to be happy. Luckily, both are owned in 100% of RCLs, so we can safely ignore them without feeling too guilty.

As for value choices this week, Streamonator likes three starting pitchers who are owned in less than 75% of Razzball Commenter Leagues for a positive value. The value choices for this week are:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Gray Pilots The Plane While Rockies Take Braves Pitchers To Bathroom

August 17, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 235 Comments

by: Grey

On the ones and twos, it’s not DJ Khaled, with a cigar in his baby’s mouth, dropping another one in a major key. It’s yo’ boy, DJ LeMahieu (4-for-5, 4 runs, 1 RBI), the French-sounding EDM mixmaster, spinning his wheels around the bases. Yo, DJ LeMahieu, what you got to say about that? “Pouvez-vous chicken francaise?” Yo, you sound like me pretending to be French! Next up throwing down, it’s Mark Reynolds (3-for-5, 2 runs, 4 RBIs and his 25th homer), the man, the myth, the Mini Donkey. All brays to you! Then how about Trevor Story (3-for-4, 6 RBIs and his 17th and 18th homers) finding his way into back-to-back home run games, like succinylcholine finds its way into back-to-back Forensic Files. Then there’s Carlos Gonzalez…Actually, you still suck! So, the Rockies, scored (fill-in-number, too high to count) last night, and Jon Gray did all he had to do — 6 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks, which in Coors is all you can ask. His peripherals are gorgeous — 8.6 K/9, 2.8 BB/9, 3.59 xFIP, but something I failed to remember this past preseason, it’s still a struggle to start him in Coors. I mean, shizz gets ugly fast like a reality TV person at a reunion show. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?