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With these top 100 starters for 2018 fantasy baseball, I’ve finished our (my) 2018 fantasy baseball rankings for positions.  Still coming will be a top 100 overall and top 500 to see how all the positions mesh together like your mesh Redskins jersey that meshes with your burgundy sweatpants.  Trust me, when you see how long this post is, you’ll be glad I kept this intro short.  As always, my projections are included, and where I see tiers starting and stopping.  If you want an explanation of tiers, go back to the top 10 overall and start this shizz all over again.  Anyway, here’s the top 100 starters for 2018 fantasy baseball:

81. Luiz Gohara -This tier started in the top 80 starters for 2018 fantasy baseball.  This tier goes from here until Pivetta.  I called this tier, “Imagine a St. Bernard with his head out the window, his name is Caution.”  As for Gohara, this offseason I said about Scott Kazmir, “Kazmir is currently slated to hold the 5th starter job in the Braves’ rotation, and, around March 18th, he will hand that job to Luiz Gohara.”  And that’s me quoting me!  So, with Gohara, you might be drafting your first guy who doesn’t even make a major league rotation, but Steamer absolutely loves him this year — 9.8 K/9, 3.72 ERA, and projecting him for 130 IP, while giving the aforementioned on the previously mentioned tip Kazmir a sad 27 IP.  So, what could go wrong with Gohara?  Meh, how about what could go right?  He throws 96-100 MPH, he had a 12+ K/9 in Triple-A, in the majors his BB/9 was 2.5, he’s going to face the Mets and Marlins a bunch of times, okay, if this string of positives goes on any longer, I’m going to move him into my top 20 starter post.  2018 Projections:  6-3/4.03/1.33/116 in 111 IP

82. Mike Montgomery – Best case scenario for Montgomery is a Kenta Maeda-type year.  Worst case scenario, Montgomery runs over your dog, sleeps with your girlfriend and finishes your 18-year-old Fudgie the Whale Carvel ice cream cake you were saving in your freezer for your 30th birthday.  “I was saving the spout for when I moved out of mother’s house!”  That’s you screaming at the heavens.  Most realistic scenario, Montgomery is a decent third fantasy starter for fifteen starts, while bouncing to the bullpen for another 40 IP.  2018 Projections: 9-6/3.54/1.23/112 in 138 IP

83. Kyle Gibson – I remembered how amazing Gibson’s 2nd half was last year, then I realized my memory is not as good as it used to be and Gibson’s 2nd half was decent, but amazing needs to lower its subjectiveness about five octaves.  2018 Projections: 11-11/4.02/1.38/134 in 182 IP

84. Erasmo Ramirez – Quick note about this tier.  I will go over this more when I post all my pitching pairings, but just a quick note.  In 12 team leagues, if you draft more than one guy in this tier, you have too much upside and you’re going to drop at least half of your pitching staff by mid-April or you will lose.  With that said!   Erasmo feels pretty similar to Montgomery in expectations — Erasmontgomery?  Actually, yes, exactly Erasmontgomery.  A 140-ish IP, 7.3-ish K/9, bouncing to bullpen on occasion-ish.  Erasmo can ish it out, if you can take it.  2018 Projections: 7-6/3.78/1.23/114 in 135 IP

85. Mike Foltynewicz – Expecting to draft Faultynewwirewitz in at least one NL-Only league.  Love his stuff — 95 MPH fastball, improved curve and slider.  Also, in mixed leagues, I am expecting to drop him within two days of his 1st start of the year.  That’s most of these guys though.  If any of these guys have a great April, they’ll stay on my team.  A bad first start and I might be moving on immediately, Fauxsinewywitz included.  2018 Projections: 9-11/4.17/1.39/155 in 162 IP

86. Josh Hader – Do I know whether or not he’s going to be in the rotation?  Not sure–*looks at Brewers’ rotation*  Oh, I mean, yeah, Hader better be in the rotation.  Otherwise, they’re damn fools.  2018 Projections:  7-7/3.61/1.30/129 in 105 IP

87. Nick Pivetta – As I did these rankings, I bounced Pivetta between every tier, going from unwanted tier back to wanted tier.  Finally, I landed on my favorite tier of this post, because he had a 9.5 K/9 with a 94 MPH fastball (that he couldn’t throw for strikes).  In reality (for fantasy), we’re super late here and I’d take a flyer on Pivetta.  2018 Projections:  10-9/4.18/1.34/154 in 149 IP

88. Zack Wheeler – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Norris.  I call this tier, “Autumn specials.”  I call these guys autumn specials because one thing they know well is how to leave you.  Leave you!  Get it?  Leaf you?  No?  Okay.  This tier is filled with guys who you will start at least fifteen times this year in your weekly league only for them to hit the DL on a Tuesday.  Like I’ll say for Matz below, before I ranked or projected Wheeler, I did a ten minute Goog sesh trying to figure out if Wheeler is healthy.  From what I can gather, he is, for now.  By the way, I was at the NY Daily News looking through a report that was titled, “Mets and Yankee Injury Notes.”  No lie, of the 700 words, Mets took up 680 words, and the Yankees had one line.  And it’s only February!  2018 Projections: 6-8/3.89/1.35/99 in 104 IP

89. Ervin Santana – There’s good news and bad news for Ervin.  The good news is there’s not much good news, so we can get right to the bad news.  He’s walking a tightrope of 7 K/9, 2.5 BB/9 and a redonk BABIP.  What I’d guess is gonna happen is Ervin, who has two straight years of ERAs of 3.38 and 3.28, will once again defy all odds and have a productive season, but I’ll be damned if I’m going in on him now and getting burned with the long awaited regression.  UPDATE:  Will miss the month of April with a debridement procedure of his middle finger.  See, and I’d like to debride my ring finger.  2018 Projections:  9-8/3.87/1.22/111 in 138 IP

90. Anthony DeSclafani – Went the PRP injection route this past season instead old school surgery.  There’s been talk this offseason that PRP is a perfectly acceptable option with solid results.  I’m not convinced yet.  Tanaka is somewhat a success, but who knows how well he’d be pitching if he had Tommy John?  Garrett Richards pitched well last year, but only threw 27 2/3 IP last year, so I’d say it’s too early to call him a success.  Andrew Heaney had a PRP injection, waited a bunch of time, it didn’t work, and needed Tommy John anyway.  Then, there’s the best case for PRP injection:  Bartolo Colon, who had the injection back in, like, 1942.  Maybe the answer for pitchers is to just put on 300 pounds of ass.  My take so far is PRP injections sideline pitchers for six months, so why not just do the extra six months with Tommy John?  Either way, this late it’s worth a flyer on DeSclafani, but I’m half expecting him to throw less than 40 innings this year.  2018 Projections: 5-7/3.65/1.27/80 in 96 IP

91. Brandon Finnegan –  This whole tier is stacking up to be “projected for 25 to 175 IP this year,” huh?  Finnegan didn’t throw a pitch after June 26th.  No big whoop, I didn’t either.  Then again, I’m not a pitcher.  Finnegan had surgery on his non-throwing shoulder, and says he should be good to go in the spring.  Though, after he said “good to go,” he paused for ten seconds and continued, “…to Carl’s Jr.”  So, he might be pulling a fast one on us.  He should be able to pitch 25 to 175 IP this year.  2018 Projections: 5-6/3.72/1.31/91 in 104 IP

92. Nathan Karns – Wouldn’t shock me to see Karns finally break out and make good on the payload he’s hinted at in the past.  Also, wouldn’t shock me to see him throw 65 IP this year with five starts and file a class action suit against the world for how poorly his career has been handled.  “Can I get in on that?”  That’s former Yankees prospect Brien Taylor.  2018 Projections:  8-8/4.12/1.31/109 in 104 IP

93. Daniel Norris – …and that’s the story of how this tier devolved into a story about the Ghosts of Past Sleepers.  Norris has some past stats we can point to for why he’s going to break out, but, due to an arcane labor union teamster law, I can’t use a cherrypicker.  2018 Projections: 8-13/4.19/1.42/137 in 154 IP

94. CC Sabathia – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Moore.  I call this tier, “Was this the worst offseason ever for baseball trading?”  Yes, it was.  Bunch of the guys in this tier were discussed this offseason, then there’s a few vets who just fit in this tier of old jokers.  As for CC, here’s what I said this offseason, “(Sabathia) re-signed with the Yankees.  Obvious, SRWMWGAFFFB.  Ya know, Solid Real World Move, Who Gives An Eff For Fantasy Baseball.  But wait, he had a 3.69 ERA last year!  But wait wait, he had a 7.3 K/9 and 120 Ks.  Snooze, ya lose.”  And that’s me quoting me!  2018 Projections: 10-9/4.24/1.31/130 in 158 IP

95. Alex Cobb – Sorry, I just shuddered thinking of a Cobb in a Dollar Store condom.  For what it’s worth, I didn’t shutter, because I don’t have shingles.  Something that seems to be a new recurring theme in baseball, players are rushed back from Tommy John and need a full year to get back to where they once were.  If Cobb and Darvish turn it around this year, I might be pushing this narrative a lot.  Be warned.  UPDATE:  Here’s my Alex Cobb to Orioles fantasy.  2018 Projections:  9-8/4.07/1.29/118 in 154 IP

96. Felix Hernandez – *wavy lines signaling a dream sequence*  The Barefoot Contessa leans down and whispers, “Bartolo Colon has aged better than you.”  Then the Barefoot Contessa eats a quesadilla and says, “I’m pregnant with Bartolo’s 18th child.”  *Felix shoots up in bed, sweaty*  Felix gets his bearings, “I must’ve fell asleep while eating and watching the Food Network.”  Then Felix turns to see The Barefoot Contessa in bed with him, and she purrs.  *wavy lines ending the dream sequence*  This was the beginning of the Black Mirror episode where we realize Felix Hernandez is no longer a good pitcher, due to technology, and multiple dreams within a dream.  2018 Projections: 10-8/4.21/1.32/131 in 151 IP

97. Brandon McCarthy – Here’s what I said this offseason, “Sent to the Braves as the main piece in the Braves/Dodgers’ trade (I giggled a little when I wrote ‘main piece’ in case you can’t get sarcasm).  McCarthy in the Land of the Braves is an affront to lefty-leaning, pinkos everywhere.  Though, lefties in the NL East might rejoice.”  And that’s me copying and pasting me!  2018 Projections:  5-8/4.39/1.26/109 in 133 IP

98. Joe Musgrove – Here’s what I said this offseason, “(Musgrove) went the other way in the Gerrit Cole trade, along with Colin Moran.  Hmm, the Pirates do seem like a bunch of Morans with this trade.  Musgrove has a 92 MPH fastball and five pitches he throws.  His best pitch is a slider, and he is only 25, so maybe he can surprise with a 9+ K/9 and 2-ish BB/9 like he had in the minors.  Since he bounced between the bullpen and rotation last year, I doubt he can throw more than 130 IP this year.”  And that’s me quoting me!  2018 Projections:  6-7/4.08/1.29/109 in 124 IP

99. Clayton Richard – Swear to God, I strongly debated putting Richard above F-Her, then I thought to myself, “Are you really debating Clayton Richard?”  And that sent me into an existential shame spiral about what my life has become.  2018 Projections: 10-11/4.03/1.37/141 in 187 IP

100. Jhoulys Chacin – Here’s what I said this offseason, “(Chacin) signed with the Brewers.  That should be great for the opening series in San Diego, and then terrible for the entire rest of the season.  Serious question, do major league teams not have data like home/away splits to look at?”  And that’s me–Well, you know.  2018 Projections: 9-11/4.51/1.41/143 in 172 IP

101. Mike Fiers – Here’s what I said this offseason, “Signed with the Tigers.  As FDR once said about his fantasy team, “Only thing to fear is Mike Fiers and his 5.22 ERA in 2017.”  That’s pretty prescient, FDR.  Too bad FDR did know to poke his cane in Jonas Salk’s butt to get him working on a polio vaccine quicker.  Fiers did up his Ks last year to 8.6 K/9, but with an 89 MPH fastball, and, at the age of 32, he’s barely ownable in the deepest of leagues.”  And that’s moi quoting moi *chef’s kiss*  2018 Projections: 7-13/4.64/1.40/153 in 168 IP

102. Matt Moore – Here’s what I said this offseason, “(Moore was) traded to the Rangers.  Here’s a glimpse into the Rangers’ front office:

“How can we make Cole HamelsMartin PerezMike Minor and Doug Fister look like a solid rotation?”
“How about for our 5th starter we throw a scarecrow dressed as Kenny Rogers?”
“Singer or ex-Rangers pitcher?”
“Nah, fans won’t go for it.”
“Wait, I know!  Trade for Matt Moore!”  And that’s me quoting a facetious conversation!  By the by, later on in the offseason, the Rangers figured out a way to even make Moore look good, sign Bartolo.  2018 Projections: 8-11/4.67/1.41/139 in 162 IP.

103. Matt Shoemaker – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until McHugh.  I call this tier, “Ultimate frisbee out the window.”  If the earlier tier of upside pitchers was a dog named Caution hanging his head out the window, this tier is tossing a frisbee out the window and the dog chases it.  As for Shoemaker, he was a popular sleeper last year (not by me; actually, I don’t know by who, I’m guessing someone called him a sleeper), and The Cobbler ended up throwing 77 2/3 IP, while being shut down for radial nerve surgery in his forearm.  Now he says he’s ready to go this spring.  I’m sure he’ll hold up, as long as he’s not using his right arm to do the holding.  2018 Projections:  8-3/4.41/1.29/91 in 101 IP

104. Jose Urena – Going for him:  he had a 1.27 WHIP and 3.82 ERA last year in 170 innings.  Going against him: a 6 K/9 and 5+ K/9’s in the minors.  Woof.  2018 Projections: 9-11/3.98/1.30/126 in 191 IP

105. Carlos Rodon – Will be starting the year late after having shoulder surgery.  I like to call shoulder surgery, “I’m not drafting him surgery,” but I guess if it’s late enough, you’re taking a DL flyer on Rodon.  2018 Projections:  4-8/4.48/1.38/102 in 105 IP

106. Steven Matz – You know what I don’t love?  How people who enjoy winter insist on telling everyone they enjoy winter.  Cool, I’ll hand-stitch you a Frosty the Snowman badge of honor.  What I also don’t love is how before drafting Matz, you need to Google, “Is Matz’s arm still attached to body?”  That makes me not want to draft Matz.  Also, the elbow surgery he had last year.  2018 Projections:  5-5/4.49/1.38/81 in 103 IP

107. Reynaldo Lopez – Not a great sign when I look at a player’s stats for a few minutes and nothing jumps out at me as a positive.  Lopez’s average fast ball was 95 MPH, and his K/9 was 5.7.  I didn’t bother researching if that’s the worst K-rate ever for someone with a 95 MPH fastball, but I’m gonna say it is, and I’m going to believe it like it’s true.  2018 Projections: 6-12/4.54/1.41/109 in 131 IP

108. Matt Harvey – “Can I get in that class action suit if it’s mostly my fault why my career was ruined?”  That’s Harvey consulting with Nate Karns.  2018 Projections:  6-7/4.42/1.44/91 in 112 IP

109. Brad Peacock – Before Gerrit Cole’s trade to the Astros, I had Peacock in the top 35 for starters, writing this, “Bit like Morton in the late bloomer category, but Peacock’s bloomage came at age 29 vs. his 30’s.  Or maybe that’s plumage.  For pitchers with 130 IP, Peacock had the 7th best K/9 at 11.  Way to turn up the dial!  He also had the 2nd worst walk rate in that group with a 3.9.  He also had the 7th best FIP, though his xFIP was a bit higher because of suppressing of homers.  There’s a chance that continues, since Peacock was 2nd in the majors behind Keuchel for weak contact generated, and only four pitchers better than Morton. Whatever the Astros are feeding their starters, who were once garbage, it’s working.  Maybe they’re feeding them garbage, in a two negatives make a positive type scenario.  While Peacock does fit in with his teammates, he sounds like a tag team partner of Koko B. Ware.”  And that’s me wistfully thinking about Peacock!   Also, prior to the trade, his projections were:  12-6/3.62/1.21/173 in 154 IP.  Now:  2018 Projections: 7-3/3.03/1.18/108 in 91 IP

110. Dinelson Lamet – I’m almost guaranteedeedly (Ned Flanders Word of the Day!) drafting Lamet in at least one league this year.  I love late starters who you can start at home (Petco) in deep leagues without any stressors.  Last year, I had great success with Clayton Richard and Jhoulys Chacin.  Or as Mr. Miyagi would’ve said, Petco whacks off Dinelson’s ERA.  UPDATE:  Pain in his elbow and out until May.  Too much damn waxing on and off, Dinelson!  No!  Don’t paint the fence either!  This was a dog day afternoon for Lamet.  Jury’s still out, but if you owned Lamet, find 11 other angry men who also owned him, you’re gonna need company.  Elbow pain is of grave concern, and now he’s ranked by Graveman.  2018 Projections:  6-4/4.15/1.31/112 in 99 IP

111. Jerad Eickhoff – On one hand, if guys in this tier repeat last year, you’re looking at around a collective 4.75 ERA.  On the other hand, guys in this tier have had seasons of around 3.60 ERA or lower.  On a third hand that is actually Hamburger Helper, Eickhoff had his season cut short last year due to nerve irritation in his hand.  I wonder how Jer-khoff irritated his hand.  UPDATE:  Out for two months with a strained lat.  Better not go with Jerad.  2018 Projections: 5-7/3.87/1.27/116 in 132 IP

112. Dan Straily – He’s the Marlins’ ace.  *tries to hold in laughter, face turns red, pops blood vessel in eye, farts out ear*  DAH!  I can’t hold it in any longer!  If Warren Buffett were to buy the Marlins — Buffett who has only made smart business moves his entire career — would immediately gut the franchise and put a Dairy Queen in as their 3rd baseman.  Why must the Marlins gut their team every year, no matter the owner?  Real pregunta here.  No answer?  Okay, take a nap and get back to me.  Any hoo!  Straily had a 8.4 K/9, 3 BB/9 and 12.1% swinging strike rate and more than respectable 32.1% swings outside the zone (top 20 rates).  I kinda get the sense there’s gonna be one bright spot on the Marlins this year, and it’s gonna be Straily.  Well, besides, Jeter’s shiny, expanding forehead.  2018 Projections:  7-4/4.06/1.28/147 in 153 IP

113. Collin McHugh – What size chicken-skin condom do you wear?  McHuuuuuugh!  Wait, what?  Wrong tier!  Last year, McHugh only threw 63 1/3 IP, but he had a 8.8 K/9, 2.8 BB/9 and a 3.55 ERA.  Great, tremendous, adjective!  However, he missed the majority of the season with an elbow impingement.  However, Part II:  However It Goes, he looked fine when he returned in the 2nd half.  There’s some serious ifs on McHugh, like if he’s in the rotation, but I have to think Morton, Peacock, McCullers or Keuchel don’t make it out of March healthy.  There’s also a real chance here you might be drafting a long man out of the bullpen.  2018 Projections:   9-4/3.53/1.26/104 in 109 IP

114. Jose De Leon – If the Rays said, “Yes, we’re cheap AF but we will be going with De Leon this year for 160 IP instead of dicking around everyone by trying to throw Eovaldi for 100 IP,” I’d move De Leon up about thirty spots in the rankings, but you know what the Rays are actually going to say, “De Leon could’ve won the rotation spot, but we were more impressed with Eovaldi who has a 6.30 ERA in the spring.”  UPDATE:  Needs Tommy John surgery, and potentially a new career.  Please visit his GoFundMe page.  Thank you.

115. Tom Koehler – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here Hahn.  I call this tier, “Better/not better judgment prevails.”  My better judgment has me ranking these guys around 400 overall.  My not-better judgment has me actually a little bit interested in these guy in deep leagues.  As for Koehler, he might only get 70 IP as a long man out of the pen, but the Dodgers always produce 5th guy in the rotation-types who are solid matchup guys.  2018 Projections: 7-3/3.65/1.29/77 in 84 IP

116. Michael Kopech – I almost didn’t rank him, and, if I were following Steamer pitcher projections, I wouldn’t have.  However, we’re late, and a flyer is a flyer is a, uh, I forget what I was saying.  Any hoo!  I guarantee if he’s promoted at any point, I will be screaming for you to pick him up.  2018 Projections: 5-3/3.56/1.31/89 in 83 IP

117. Walker Buehler – I’m gonna be all over Buehler when he’s called up like Rooney was all over Buehler and 12-year-olds.  To read more, he made Prospector Ralph’s top 50 fantasy baseball prospects.  2018 Projections:  4-2/3.33/1.18/75 in 63 IP

118. JC Ramirez – If Heaney, Shoemaker, Richards, Skaggs and Ohtani are healthy, Ramirez may not have a starting job.  Then again, Heaney, Shoemaker, Richards, Skaggs and Ohtani are all degrees of already injury.  2018 Projections: 9-4/3.88/1.29/104 in 138 IP

119. Tyler Skaggs – There’s safer guys below for innings, as I will discuss in Graveman’s blurb, but Skaggs is projected by Steamer for 154 IP and an 8+ K/9.  But, Part II:  Baby Love Buts, Skaggs has never thrown more than 113 IP in any major league season and that was four years ago.  2018 Projections: 8-4/3.77/1.34/101 in 115 IP

120. Tyler Glasnow – No, I’m not just ranking pitchers reverse alphabetically by their first name, but I may as well be.   2018 Projections: 4-6/3.60/1.34/87 in 79 IP

121. Tyson Ross – Signed a minor league contract with the Padres.  No guarantee to make the team, but in crazy deep leagues, where you’re drafting him, it’s not a bad move to assume any pitcher smart enough to sign a deal to pitch in Petco is smart enough to figure out how to throw 140 IP in the majors this year.  2018 Projections: 5-7/4.41/1.38/103 in 136 IP

122. Erick Fedde – His ERA last year was 9.39, i.e., Fedde Whop!  I doubt Fedde Whop will even see the rotation for much more than 100 IP, good eye or bad.  2018 Projections:  4-6/4.14/1.26/84 in 101 IP

123. Marco Gonzales – There will be guys I didn’t rank from the Mariners’ rotation who will get more innings, but, well, Mike Leake?  I just vomited in my mouth, spit out said vomit and it spelled on my floor, “Don’t rank Leake.”  2018 Projections: 5-3/4.26/1.32/76 in 94 IP

124. Jesse Hahn – Yo, Jesse Hahn throws 94 MPH!  Dot dot dot.  Nathan Eovaldi throws 97 MPH and sucks.  What’s your point?  Damn, Dot Dot Dot, you got me there.  Well, I’m not completely burned out by Hahn yet, but close.  With his trade to the Royals, he’ll now have to compete with Karns and Junis for a rotation spot and will begin to listen to more Lorde.  2018 Projections:  7-9/4.25/1.41/108 in 134 IP

125. Kendall Graveman – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until the end of the list.  I call this tier, “Odds and ends, and by ‘ends’ I mean lots of ass.”  A lot of the guys in this tier will get some innings, but at what cost?!  I said that last line while shaking my fist at the heavens as frogs rained down.  As for Graveman, ultimate mediOAKer pitcher.  2018 Projections: 9-13/4.05/1.36/110 in 177 IP

126. Jharel Cotton – Maybe it’s a word association thing, but Cotton reminds me that I feel like I’m picking through crap for starters.  UPDATE:  Sounds like Cotton’s done for the season.  Damn, we didn’t see one Cotton pickin’ minute of him.   2018 Projections:  7-12/4.34/1.38/132 in 148 IP

127. Jake Junis – As mentioned previously, I write players names down, then erase ones that I don’t think deserve a blurb and leave guys who I think are worth ranking.  Well, with Junis, I’m not sure what I was thinking.  Can’t be his 91 MPH fastball or 7.4 K/9.  Maybe it was his projected 170 innings by Steamer.  *shrugs*  Whatevs.   Five ladies and gentlemen, Jake Junis, the Whatevs man!  2018 Projections: 8-11/4.21/1.26/129 in 158 IP

128. Dillon Peters – This is hilarious, “Clark Spencer of the Miami Herald reports that Wei-Yin Chen officially informed the Marlins on Sunday that he will not exercise the opt-out clause in his contract.”  I.e., he’ll stay with the club since he’s owed $60 million, oh, and he has a torn UCL in his pitching elbow.  He’s not opting out of that?  No way!  Any hoo!  That should keep Dillon Peters in the rotation for as many innings as he can throw, for better or worse.  Actually, worse is Adam Conley, Odrisamer Despaigne, Justin Nicolino, Jacob Turner and whoever else the Marlins put on the mound.  2018 Projections: 7-13/4.23/1.27/109 in 137 IP

129. Jason Hammel – As kinda alluded to in the Junis blurb, these pitchers I felt obligated to rank, not exactly inspired to rank.  2018 Projections: 10-13/4.39/1.38/142 in 172 IP

130. Marco Estrada – For the 2nd straight year, Estrada’s Ks — Ponch-outs? — went up but his command — C.H.I.P.S.? — went down.  If you can tell me what Estrada’s going to do this year, I believe you know, but I don’t trust you.  Sorry, we can still be Facebook friends, since I don’t like most of my FB friends anyway.  2018 Projections:  12-9/4.68/1.39/173 in 181 IP

131. Tyler Chatwood – *checks Chatwood’s splits*  He’s better at home?  That’s helpful in a not very helpful way.  10-8/4.24/1.29/143 in 162 IP

131. German Marquez – *checks Marquez’s splits*  German Marquez knows how to do home/away splits.  Figures for someone who sounds like a Nazi who fled to Argentina.  2018 Projections:  11-10/4.31/1.33/158 in 171 IP

132. Ivan Nova – He had two straight seasons of 4.17 ERA and lower, with around a 6.8 K/9.  Not surprisingly, when I wrote that, balloons didn’t drop from my ceiling.  2018 Projections: 10-8/4.21/1.27/127 in 174 IP

133. Matthew Boyd – Flavor Flav owns him every year so he can name his fantasy team, “Yeah Boyd!!!”  What’s your excuse?  2018 Projections: 8-13/4.54/1.48/133 in 169 IP

134. Robert Stephenson – Maybe it was the horror show that “The Cheese” Sal Romano and Rookie “Sophomore” Davis inflicted on me last year, but outside of Castillo I’m so out on Reds starters this year.  2018 Projections:  9-10/4.54/1.44/143 in 142 IP

135. Jordan Zimmermann – At a certain point as I was ranking these guys, I started to think, “Why am I bothering to rank these guys?”  That’s how good they are!  2018 Projections: 9-14/4.70/1.42/103 in 157 IP

136. Matt Andriese – The Rays should send five pitchers to any team for a decent hitter.  See, you don’t need a Harvard College degree to run a MLB team.  Wait, is it Harvard University? 2018 Projections:  6-3/3.77/1.28/89 in 98 IP

137. Chad Kuhl – I might’ve ranked Kuhl just because his last name in my head sounds like John Oliver saying, “Cool.”  Might’ve.  Not necessarily.  (It’s totally the reason.) 2018 Projections: 10-12/4.18/1.35/164 in 179 IP

138. Mike Leake – I could’ve also listed here Andrew “Algebra or” Triggs, Doug “That’s My Bum” Fister, Tyler “Not Chatwood” Anderson, Joe “Bagel Or A” Biagni, Dylan “Dolphin Meat Is Delicious In The” Covey, Homer “S’Allowed” Bailey, Junior “Senior” Guerra, Zach “Works Out Kinks” Davies, Luis “In Florence Is The” Perdomo, Bryan “What Should We Call This Steroids Report?” Mitchell, Ty “More Like Blech” Blach, Chris “Star 80” Stratton, Adam “Don’t Make Me Call In To Your Radio Show” Wainwright, Seth “Mets Will Attempt To Ruin My Arm Too” Lugo, Ben “Blake” Lively, Carson “Full Pa And” Fulmer, Steven “I’ll Be At Nick’s Comedy Stop On Friday” Wright, Adalberto “I Wanna Name Our Kid Adam — I Wanna Name Our Kid Alberto!” Mejia, Aaron “My Last Name Sounds Like Drunk A-Holes At The Bar” Slegers, Ian “What’s That Over On The Grassy Knoll?” Kennedy, Nathan “EVOO” Eovaldi, James “Power Up My” Shields, Wade “Holy Crap The O’s Pitching Is Bad” Miley, and Josh “Lily” Tomlin.  They’re all rosterable in insanely deep leagues, and I feel bad for you if you have to go there.  2018 Projections:  Bleh/Burp/Belch/Gas in Farts