Please see our player page for Christian Villanueva to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

Can Carlos Rodon wait until the White Sox are done with their different-colored Sox counterparts before being reinstated from the DL?  I’m asking for us, because you’re not going to find a more caring fantasy baseball ‘pert.  I’m like your My Pillow, and I hug you like the My Pillow guy hugs his pillow.  In all his mustachioed glory and common man charms.  I nourish you like avocado toast and a warm glass of PBR.  You see that hammock in your backyard that those two squirrels are fornicating on?  Shoo them off the hammock, because that hammock is me on a cold, winter night when your wife kicks you out of the house when she catches you checking out a waitress.  Let’s snuggle.  Metaphorically!  What are you doing, you freak?!  Any hoo!  Rodon is due back, and not only is he a Buy, he’s also a hold in the video above because I don’t know how he’s going to look his first time back, i.e., he’s an own in all leagues.  He’s a 9.5+ K/9, high-3 xFIP guy.  If everything breaks right, he’s better than Lance McCullers.  Things break wrong?  Well, then you can drop him.  Grab him now, like I metaphorically grab you in your mind’s eye.  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

In an unexciting season for the Royals, lead off man Jon Jay (OF, Royals – (12.5% owned on ESPN, 9% on Yahoo) has been one of the few bright spots. After a slow start, Jay has been heating up at the dish and been one of the hottest hitters in May. Jay is 5th in the MLB in batting average with an incredible .368 mark this month. His 43 hits in May are the most in the MLB, and although in a weak lineup he has been able to help in other areas. Forget your awful Justin Timberlake memes, because it’s gunna be JAY! Jay is a career .290 hitter, so although impossible to sustain his current pace, he remains a good bet to be a solid source of hits and batting average for your fantasy teams the rest of the way.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

True Story Alert!  Justin Bieber used to live about two blocks away from Cougs and I.  Honestly, he might still live there, but I doubt it because I no longer go to the supermarket (block between us) and hear this, “BIEBER, I LOVE YOU.  HERE IS MY VIRGINITY.  LITERALLY TAKE IT FROM ME.  PLEASE!!!”  Also, I no longer have to jostle between TMZ cameramen for my kombucha.  Here’s a story about how he wanted to put a skatepark into his condo.  Dude, LA’s special.  Any hoo!  Yesterday, I was screaming like a 15-year-old girl for Shane Bieber to remove my sexual flower for the first few innings, then he ran into some trouble in the 5th, when it became apparent major league hitters (even the bottom of the Twins’ order; Ryan LaMarre, really?) are not quite who he was blowing away in the minors this year (1.05 ERA, 8.1 K/9, 0.5 BB/9).  He worked consistently down in the strike zone with a 93 MPH fastball, and broke off, uh, breaking stuff off down and outside.  There wasn’t a ton of hard contact until the 6th inning, which was a quick turnaround on a 5th inning, which saw him clearly winded — final line, 5 2/3 IP, 4 ER, 9 baserunners (1 BB), 6 Ks.  I’m interested in him in deeper mixed leagues, but he looks like he will have the usual rookie pitcher lumps.  For what it’s Werth, he’s the 9th best starter on the Prospect-o-Nator, which lists all rookie pitcher projections.  Plus, no reports of this Bieber wanting a skatepark.  That’s good.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Warning, this post has no consistent theme. When I sat down and began thinking about what to write I really couldn’t focus on a single concept, so instead the result is a hodgepodge of points league material. If I was going to talk about Eric Hosmer who has a measly 114 points I could borrow the term hodgepadre from a much better writer. But if I’m being honest, I couldn’t give a shit about Hosmer as his 0.51 points per plate appearance. While we’re discussing Padres let’s spend a sentence or two on Christian Villanueva and his 14 home runs. Despite leading all rookies in dingers, Villanueva also has 51 strikeout in 156 at bats. That’s an impressive (unimpressive?) strikeout rate. Ignoring my recent post about not penalizing a batter for a strikeout, this is not good in points leagues. This is why he only has 97 points and is still on the wire is over twenty-five percent of points leagues.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hello and welcome to the updated MLB ROTO category leaders nine weeks into the season and hopefully most of you are enjoying your Memorial Day weekend and maybe watched a few laps of the Indy 500 has come and gone.  Will Power ran away with the victory while Ed Carpenter ate some of his dust in the last few laps.  After another week of baseball, some AL pitchers joined a different type of race to try and pass up the stat leaders, while others are looking for Vin Diesel’s NOS button to extend their lead, leaving the rest of the pack hoping for a Cal Naughton Jr. finish for silver.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

So you found a second girl willing to touch your wood? Nice work! Now let’s focus on what really matters: your fantasy baseball erection. No, don’t look down! Focus! I’m talking about erecting your fantasy squad. Did I lose the five girl readers again? I always scare them off so quickly.

If you recall “Hold on Loosely – Part One”, we discussed not only the failings of your love life, but also some of last year’s surprise players who went undrafted in a majority of leagues. As June approaches we now have a large enough sample on our hands (that’s what she said!) to begin speculating which late round draft picks/free agents could help most in erecting your fantasy powerhouse.

In part one I brought forth the theory that elite offensive statistics are becoming more attainable via the waiver wire now than ever before. The chart below highlights some of this season’s surprise hitters drafted with an NFBC ADP of 300 or later.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Howie Kendrick is out for multiple 10-day DLs with a ruptured Achilles injury.  Look at it this way, if Achilles couldn’t come right back from an Achilles injury, how would Kendrick?  He can’t, he’s out for the year.  Enter stage left, Juan Soto.  True story, as I was listening to Prospector Ralph and Lance Broetc. discuss the top 25 prospects for fantasy baseball (clickbait!), every time Ralph would say Juan Soto I’d think he was asking Lance if he wanted soda.  I kept wanting to say, just give him a Dr. Pepper and stop asking if he’s thirsty!  I don’t drink Soto, because it makes me burp, but I’ll tell you what?  I’ve found a special appreciation for La Croix.  Give me flavored seltzer or give me death, as Alan Hale Jr. once said.  Any hoo!  Love, love, lurve what the Nats did.  If you have a guy that’s going to be a superstar?  You call him up!  H to the hockey sticks with an E in between!  If the Blue Jays don’t call up Vlad soon, I will call them the BJs for the rest of eternity.  Ralph has gone over Juan Soto so many times, that it’s silly to reiterate.  Literally, he just wrote a Juan Soto fantasy.  If you’re really lazy and you have wheels on your barcalounger so you can get around, the most succinct is Soto could be a 35/12/.300 hitter during his peak and is 19 years old with extra fizz.  You can expect this year something similar to Bryce Harper’s rookie year — 20/15/.270.  If your eyes don’t bug out on that, you’ve lost feeling in your eyes.  Get them checked.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Ya know, if you’re gonna get busted for PEDs and be suspended for 80 games, the way to do it is right after fracturing your hand.  It’s like coming down with mono the week of your prom when you have no date.  “Damn, am I gonna miss that?  That is too bad, but I am so drowsy I feel like I have two Forest Whitaker eyes.”  That’s you getting prom-o-mono.  I am more surprised to hear Robinson Cano was busted for PEDs, than I am to learn he had no idea he was taking the illegal substance.  Baseball is currently batting a thousand for denials of PEDs suspensions. MLB players’ denials of taking the illicit substance should get into the Hall of Fame on its first ballot.  Speaking of Hall of Fame, I kinda thought Robinson Cano was headed there.  This will obviously shade a cloud over his entire career, which I do think is a shame.  What’s also a shame, you need to drop him in all leagues.  He’s more or less done for the year.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?