Please see our player page for Christian Villanueva to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

Rick Porcello was masterful Friday night, turning in one of the best, most efficient, pitching performances we’ll see all season, holding the New York Yankees to just one hit (a home run) and striking out nine for a complete game win. His only hiccups were a HBP to begin the game and a solo home run to rookie 3rd baseman Miguel Andujar, after which Porcello proceeded to retire the next 21 straight batters with ease. More like Siiiiick Rick, brah *shock emoji* Or Quick Rick? IMHO (the “H” stands for handsome) this was the best start we’ve seen from a Boston pitcher all season, and that’s saying something for a team with Chris Sale on it. The former Cy Young threw first-pitch strikes to 23 batters and threw 68 strikes of the the just 86 pitches to get through this one. Veintidos, which might be the worst nickname ever, moves to 14-4 with a 3.84 ERA and 1.16 WHIP.  Most amazing for me, however, was that a Yankees/Red Sox game took just 2 hours and 15 minutes! It was the fastest Boston/NY game since May 6, 1994! So keeping in that spirit I will wrap this up quick. The last two Sox pitchers to 1-hit the mighty Yankees line up facing the minimum batters were Pedro Martinez in 1999 and Roger Clemens in 1991, and those are some pretty great names to have in your company.

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

*visoring your eyes with your hand, squinting at the light as you emerge from your mother’s basement*  “Hey, mom, it’s the All-Star break and I thought I’d come up to say hello.”  Where the house once stood, it’s now a Whole Foods, and you’re standing in the cheese aisle.  Confused, you approach a man in Birkenstocks, “Excuse me, is this 450 Palm Terrace Road?”  “It is.”  “Wasn’t there a row of houses here?”  “Back in March, they bulldozed this area when the yuppies won a city ordinance that says there needs to be a Whole Foods within at least three-quarters of a mile of another Whole Foods.”  You reel back, overwhelmed with how your family is gone and how you’ve been living in a Whole Foods basement.  You turn to an employee, “I need to sit down, and can I get a free sample of any cheese?”  You smile, revealing Cheetos-dusted teeth, and thus begins your All-Star break.  Tomorrow, I’ll drop the top 100 for the 2nd half, then there will be a Buy/Sell again Friday morning.  One guy who will have extra time this All-Star break will be Mike Matheny.  Last week it was revealed, Mike McNulty set up a sting operation in the Cards’ bullpen to see if everyone was doing their best with Bud “Bubbles” Norris as his informant.  Then when the Cards fired Donnie Brasco Matheny, he might’ve took his informant with him, because Jordan Hicks (1 IP, 1 ER) got Sunday’s save and Norris came down with mysterious arm concerns.  I’d absolutely grab Hicks.  You know what’s the difference between Hicks and Norris?  One makes you say, “Ooh MPH…”  The other makes you say, “Oompha.”  Also, usually I ignore trade rumors, but at this time of the year, you should be extra vigilant about backing up closers because at any point in the next two weeks a closer could get traded and you don’t want to leave it up to getting to the waiver wire before everyone else.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I hope everyone enjoyed themselves on America’s Holiday.  Everyone kept their fingers intact I presume. Unlike the past few Thursdays we actually have ourselves a pretty awesome slate tonight.  However, I still find us having but one pitcher worth starting, especially in cash games, which means you’ll have to beat the field with your bats.  In GPPs, things get a little dicey, but I’d probably still roll with the high-priced favorite, Justin Verlander there too.  Verlander checks in at a whopping $12,200 today, $3,900 more than the next starter, Johnny Cueto.  Verlander is at home against the two man offense that is the Chicago White Sox. Their .708 team OPS and current league leading 820 strikeouts (tied with the Texas Rangers) means Verlander should go for 40+ FanDuel points easy.  Lock him in and let’s dig for some value bats!

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Please, blog, may I have some more?

In 1776 on July 1st, Ben Franklin grabbed Betsy Ross and four of her friends, and was like, “This will be better than Flag Day.  We will call this Flagellation Day.  Now twerk with a firework!”  That lasted for three days until Ben yelled out an Astros’ hitter last name and called for a volunteer fire department to put out his redness.  As the fire department extinguished his Reddick, Ben proclaimed July 4th to be a day of national celebration and the rest is history.  It’s also when The Stros Spangled Banner was written.  Any hoo!  Josh Reddick (3-for-4, 2 RBIs) had a slam (8) and legs (4) yesterday, and it’s 2nd day in a row with a homer.  He’s owned in only 30% of leagues and that is a crime to humanity, a first world one, at least.  God Bless America and Ben Franklin’s Reddick!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I was feeling reflective yesterday, so I turned to the mirror and said, I bought a toothbrush, some toothpaste–Mirror, “Please don’t sing that song.”–Pajamas, a hairbrush–“Please stop, please.”–New shoes, and a case!  I said to my reflection, where in my rankings did Jose Ramirez place?!–“NO MORE!”  I’d figured you’d like that song.  “No.”  You’ve heard it before?  “Shut up.”  Whoa, grumpy mirror.  Yet another great day from Jose Ramirez (1-for-2, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and a slam (22) and legs (10), hitting .291) is what brought about my reflection.  Through a 75-second detour through that website that puts everyone’s rankings together, I found out the person who ranked Jose Ramirez the highest last year ranked him 13th overall.  Then I looked at where I ranked him — jackpot in my ass! — I ranked him 13th overall.  I was the highest on Jo-Ram.  By the by, someone ranked Jo-Ram around 130th overall.  That person should quit this fake business.  Bonus if it’s Clara Bell.  In my rankings, I even said I wanted to rank Ramirez 12th, but wanted to separate Lindor and him.  Sadly, I didn’t draft Jo-Ram anywhere, because I drafted Lindor everywhere, and, by the time the draft came back to me, Jo-Ram was gone.  This was a fun trip down memory lane.  Unlike when Memory Lane intersects with Cody Bellinger.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Can Carlos Rodon wait until the White Sox are done with their different-colored Sox counterparts before being reinstated from the DL?  I’m asking for us, because you’re not going to find a more caring fantasy baseball ‘pert.  I’m like your My Pillow, and I hug you like the My Pillow guy hugs his pillow.  In all his mustachioed glory and common man charms.  I nourish you like avocado toast and a warm glass of PBR.  You see that hammock in your backyard that those two squirrels are fornicating on?  Shoo them off the hammock, because that hammock is me on a cold, winter night when your wife kicks you out of the house when she catches you checking out a waitress.  Let’s snuggle.  Metaphorically!  What are you doing, you freak?!  Any hoo!  Rodon is due back, and not only is he a Buy, he’s also a hold in the video above because I don’t know how he’s going to look his first time back, i.e., he’s an own in all leagues.  He’s a 9.5+ K/9, high-3 xFIP guy.  If everything breaks right, he’s better than Lance McCullers.  Things break wrong?  Well, then you can drop him.  Grab him now, like I metaphorically grab you in your mind’s eye.  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

In an unexciting season for the Royals, lead off man Jon Jay (OF, Royals – (12.5% owned on ESPN, 9% on Yahoo) has been one of the few bright spots. After a slow start, Jay has been heating up at the dish and been one of the hottest hitters in May. Jay is 5th in the MLB in batting average with an incredible .368 mark this month. His 43 hits in May are the most in the MLB, and although in a weak lineup he has been able to help in other areas. Forget your awful Justin Timberlake memes, because it’s gunna be JAY! Jay is a career .290 hitter, so although impossible to sustain his current pace, he remains a good bet to be a solid source of hits and batting average for your fantasy teams the rest of the way.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

True Story Alert!  Justin Bieber used to live about two blocks away from Cougs and I.  Honestly, he might still live there, but I doubt it because I no longer go to the supermarket (block between us) and hear this, “BIEBER, I LOVE YOU.  HERE IS MY VIRGINITY.  LITERALLY TAKE IT FROM ME.  PLEASE!!!”  Also, I no longer have to jostle between TMZ cameramen for my kombucha.  Here’s a story about how he wanted to put a skatepark into his condo.  Dude, LA’s special.  Any hoo!  Yesterday, I was screaming like a 15-year-old girl for Shane Bieber to remove my sexual flower for the first few innings, then he ran into some trouble in the 5th, when it became apparent major league hitters (even the bottom of the Twins’ order; Ryan LaMarre, really?) are not quite who he was blowing away in the minors this year (1.05 ERA, 8.1 K/9, 0.5 BB/9).  He worked consistently down in the strike zone with a 93 MPH fastball, and broke off, uh, breaking stuff off down and outside.  There wasn’t a ton of hard contact until the 6th inning, which was a quick turnaround on a 5th inning, which saw him clearly winded — final line, 5 2/3 IP, 4 ER, 9 baserunners (1 BB), 6 Ks.  I’m interested in him in deeper mixed leagues, but he looks like he will have the usual rookie pitcher lumps.  For what it’s Werth, he’s the 9th best starter on the Prospect-o-Nator, which lists all rookie pitcher projections.  Plus, no reports of this Bieber wanting a skatepark.  That’s good.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Warning, this post has no consistent theme. When I sat down and began thinking about what to write I really couldn’t focus on a single concept, so instead the result is a hodgepodge of points league material. If I was going to talk about Eric Hosmer who has a measly 114 points I could borrow the term hodgepadre from a much better writer. But if I’m being honest, I couldn’t give a shit about Hosmer as his 0.51 points per plate appearance. While we’re discussing Padres let’s spend a sentence or two on Christian Villanueva and his 14 home runs. Despite leading all rookies in dingers, Villanueva also has 51 strikeout in 156 at bats. That’s an impressive (unimpressive?) strikeout rate. Ignoring my recent post about not penalizing a batter for a strikeout, this is not good in points leagues. This is why he only has 97 points and is still on the wire is over twenty-five percent of points leagues.

Please, blog, may I have some more?