RazzSlam Recap: We Got The Jazz, We Got The Jazz

I’m a big fan of the everyman. I consider myself the everyman. I’m every man’s everyman. A pioneer of normcore. Track pants and a blinking light on my car’s dashboard that either means my seatbelt isn’t on or I need oil. That is me. What better way to elevate the Everyman Culture than to take part in a tourney where no one is smarter than anyone else. Enter the RazzSlam, a Best Ball tourney. Every everyman likely knows what a Best Ball league is, but, if you don’t, it’s when you draft a team and the computer manages it for you by choosing who are your best players, and you get those stats. It’s basically one fantasy league removed from the robots taking over and killing us all. Well, the last laugh is on you robots, cholesterol is beating you to the punch! Kinda love that Razzball is putting on a tourney (hosted by NFBC — thank you!) that no one really has any clue how to strategize. A true everyman experience. Oh, I’m sure there’s a few people who think they know the correct strategy for Best Ball, and a few of them might be right, but there’s an under 1% chance they know why they’re right, and it isn’t just luck. In some ways, Best Ball leagues are a lot like Best Ball strategies. Throw a ton of them out there and a few good ones will rise to the top through sheer force of players’ performances and nothing you’re actually doing. That’s the fun. Anyway, here’s my RazzSlam, a 42-round, Best Ball 12 team draft recap:

Psyche! Before we get to the RazzSlam recap, the season’s first Buy/Sell is available on our Patreon, click that and sign up. It won’t be live on this site until this Friday. Anyway II, the RazzSlam recap:

C: Logan O’Hoppe (11)
C: Bo Naylor (20)
1B: Christian Walker (8)
2B: Luis Garcia Jr. (6)
SS: Elly De La Cruz (1)
3B: Jazz Chisholm Jr. (2)
MI: Anthony Volpe (15)
CI: Matt Shaw (18)
OF: Ronald Acuña Jr. (3)
OF: Wyatt Langford (4)
OF: Dylan Crews (9)
OF: Alec Burleson (13)
OF: Jake McCarthy (17)
UTIL: Thairo Estrada (23)
Bench: Kristian Campbell (24), Roman Anthony (26), Nick Gonzales (33), Jonah Bride (37), Jarred Kelenic (40), Zac Veen (41), Korey Lee (42)

P: Logan Gilbert (5)
P: Dylan Cease (7)
P: Roki Sasaki (10)
P: Hunter Greene (12)
P: Cristopher Sanchez (14)
P: Robbie Ray (16)
P: Ronel Blanco (19)
P: Shane Baz (21)
P: Michael Wacha (22)
Bench: Sean Manaea (25), Tobias Myers (27), Erick Fedde (28), David Peterson (29), Landen Roupp (30), Osvaldo Bido (31), Luis L. Ortiz (32), Richard Fitts (34), Jordan Hicks (35), Cade Povich (36), Logan Henderson (38), Griffin Canning (39)

OKAY, GIVE ME YOUR WAR ROOM TOTALS SO I CAN JUICE UP MY SARCASM AND SPRAY IT IN THE RIGHT PLACES.

We have a War Room for Best Ball, but, if I’m being honest, I didn’t use it much for this draft.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE A COMPANY MAN. WOW, NE-YO, WE GOT A NEW MISS INDEPENDENT.

I use the War Room for all snake and auction drafts, but since this is a 12-team draft and Best Ball and Points, I winged it. Think after four months of studying rankings I can handle one draft on my own.

FIRST OFF, IT’S NOT ‘WINGED,’ IT’S WUNG, AND SECOND, GOOD FOR YOU. FINALLY THINKING FOR YOURSELF. 

I appreciate that, especially since you’re just my internal monologue.

WAIT…WHAT?

Yeah, you’re just me screaming.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Sorry, bro. It’s true. Here’s the scoring so we can at least try to make heads or tails of the league:

Here’s some points accumulated by players last year:

Bryce Harper – 637 points
Tarik Skubal – 633 points

THE TOP PITCHER IN FANTASY WAS THE SAME AS Bryce Harper? THAT SEEMS TELLING.

It’s telling me pitchers are so much less valuable in NFBC’s Points Leagues.

I SET YOU UP, YOU KNOCK ‘EM DOWN.

I do my best. Put up innings and potential wins and you have a chance to be a valuable pitcher. Last year, Framber Valdez had 478 points, the exact same amount as Steven Kwan; Paul Skenes had the same as Adolis Garcia; Kyle Tucker, who missed half a season, had the same as Carlos Rodon and more than Mason Miller. So, yes, pitching is way less valuable than hitting. Maybe that’s why I like the RazzSlam so much. Pitchers give everyone fits, so screw them! Though, not Dick Fitts. Don’t screw Dick Fitts, unless that’s your cup of tea.

SO, THIS IS BEST BALL AND YOU DON’T HAVE TO ADJUST YOUR LINEUP. THERE’S NOTHING TO DO NOW, RIGHT? JUST LET CHATGPT SET YOUR LINEUP AND KICK IT WITH YOUR BOYS?

There’s a few FAAB waiver wire pickups throughout the season. Watch Truss’s RazzSlam and RCL columns and he’ll be sure to notify you when they’re coming up. The first FAAB pickup is quick, April 8th, then the next one isn’t until June 3rd. Otherwise, you just sit back and let the computer choose your best lineup. This also played into how upsidey I went with my draft. All you need is nine decent starters each week. In theory, your worst starts won’t be used, so if you go for upside guys it should be fine when they get blown up. I wish I had other BestBall elements in my life. Give me BestBall dentistry. My teeth get cleaned in the best way when I need it and no superfluous brushing or visits to the dentist. Give me BestBall avocado toast. Only when the avocados are just ripe enough do they get smushed on the best piece of toasted sourdough. Give me BestBall boxers. Just the right amount of comfort. Call them BestBalls.

I THINK YOU’RE DESCRIBING A FUTURE DYSTOPIA WHERE HUMANS MAKE NO CHOICES AND COMPUTERS DO EVERYTHING.

Sah-weet!