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Please see our player page for Luis L. Ortiz to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

Brewers rang the bell of Ding Dong City and said, “Ding Dong, we’re home. We’re now the Mayors here. Hit the bricks. Yes, we have paperwork to prove it! What do we look like? Squatters?” Then the Brewers pulled out yesterday’s box score and showed them their paperwork for the keys to Ding Dong City. […]

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Maybe I’m jhuvenile but Jhonkensy Noel has me jhonking my nose in laughter. Jhonkensy? I ain’t Jhonkensy ’round these parts since the tennis courts closed in 2018. Excuse me, sir, my Jhonda’s jhorn stopped Jhonkensy’ing, and I am a very aggressive driver so I really need my jhorn to Jhonkensy. So, the Guards called up […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Astros’ lineup has some 80’s WWF vibes to it. Julks-Dubon being led by Captain Woo Cubano. Can’t forget, Jose Abreu (2-for-5, 2 run) at the plate as threatening as Cyndi Lauper when she’s beating on Captain Lou’s chest in the Girls Just Wanna Fun video. Or The Fabulous Martin Maldonado went 2-for-3, 2 runs with his 3rd homer. All they needed was Manaea to come through with Afa and Sika. By the way, what’s less pro wrestling than losing your acronym, WWF, to the World Wildlife Federation. First up, Mauricio Dubon went 1-for-4, 2 runs and his 1st homer. Altuve owners are Stan Gable yelling, “Hey, that’s my pie!” Then Corey Julks went 3-for-5, 3 RBIs, hitting his 3rd homer. But, leading the way, was Yordan Alvarez. Captain Woo Cubano went 3-for-4, 3 runs, 5 RBIs and his 11th and 12th homer, hitting .305. Woo has no speed and doesn’t seem like he’s been hot at any moment this year, and is still around a top 15 hitter on the year on the Player Rater. Truly one of the best and gets nowhere near enough acclaim. Or as Rowdy Tellez would say acc’laim. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?