Shawn Kelley notched his second save in as many days Friday night, recording the final out, allowing just one hit for his sixth save of the season. Is your fantasy team in dire need of saves? Are you tired of owning the entire Braves bullpen? Well, it seems your prayers may have been answered. Manager Dusty Baker has yet to commit to Kelley, but Baker usually doesn’t commit to anything unless it’s ruining some young player’s career in the long term. Unlike Atlanta, the Nationals bullpen will likely see a good share of save chances and with Jonathan Papelbon struggling, it appears Shawn Kelley is the add here. Oh Papelbon, how the mighty have fallen, right? I remember when he wasn’t just the most obnoxious pitcher in all of baseball, he was also a very good closer! Shawn Kelley has the potential to be a very good closer as well. He holds a 3.05 ERA, and 1.02 WHIP, with a 60/7 K/BB rate. Did I mention he can get you saves? Did I mention he’s available in over 80% of fantasy leagues? Geez, all this stuff I forgot to mention, my memory is really shot lately. There’s still a chance Washington trades for a closer, but I’d pick up Shawn Kelley everywhere I needed saves as he looks to be the top option in the Nats pen at the moment, Grey told you to BUY and he won’t be available for very long.

Here’s what else I saw Friday night in fantasy baseball:

Jim Johnson – 1.0 IP, hit, 0 ER, SV (5). So Johnson is your ATL closer,and he was a BUY so pick him up if your fishing for saves. My extremely credible sources, that definitely aren’t websites and definitely are actual human people, say Johnson could be traded which would make the Braves closer god-knows-who. More shocking is what team is actually trading for Jim Johnson. It’s gotta be the Mets or something. Or the New York Baseball Knicks as I like to call them. Really? Jim Johnson? Really Seth Myers? Really? Donald Trump? Really America? This guy?

Tyrell Jenkins – 6.0 IP, 4 hits, 0 ER, 4 BB, 4 K, W. So tell me over-the-internet friend, how desperate are yo for starting pitching right now? If you answered, “Very” let me introduce you to Tyrell Jenkins. TJ plays for a bad team, struggles with control and doesn’t really strike anyone out, but two of his three major leagues starts to date have been decent enough. I guess. Pick him up if you hate yourself.

Jake Odorizzi – 6.2 IP, 6 hits, 0 ER, 5 K, W. Over his past three starts, Jake has nabbed 2 wins in 20.2 IP, with a 0.87 ERA, 0.92 WHIP and 17/1 K/BB rate. That’s the sweet Odor of success my friends. Oh and sweat, I mean it’s like 90+ degrees out here. Thankfully, my naturally probiotics means I don’t have to shower, right? Right!? Jake hasn’t let up a run in a past two outings, and I’m curious as to why more teams aren’t clamoring about trading for him.

Jeremy Hazelbaker – 1-for-2, HR (8), 2 RBI. Oh hey! I remember you! From April. How’s things? That bad, huh?

Tommy Pham – 2-for-4, 3 runs, HR (7), 3 RBI. Pham jam thank you ma’am!

Kolten Wong – 3-for-5, 2 RBI. Hard for me to recommend any of these Cardinals as I’m afraid none of them will play consistently enough to produce for your team. But they’ll always have that warm summer night, July 29, 2016. Those were the best days of their lives. I guess nothing can last forever. Foreeeeever, no! Thanks for that Bryan Adams.

Dee Gordon – 2-for-4, run. I exited out of my CryroPod into the clean plexi-steel sterility of the Concu-Lextin Galactic Space Station. “Great space scott! What is this place?” I ask into the InfactoBand mounted on my wrist. “How long have I been in CryroHydronic suspension?” “4 months, 4 days, 7 minutes, Master Pants.” replies my hyper sexual British robot priestess, Angelflare. Has it really only been 4 months? Hey I own Dee Gordon! I must be killing it in stolen bases! “Negative,” replies Angelflare, as she fills me in and explains Gordon needs at least 15 SB in the next two months to make his draft and stash worthwhile. “Egads, Angelflare!” So this what has become of the Northeastern Quadrant? I can only assume Hugo Darquelord must be behind this..

David Dahl – 2-for-4. “Get headquarters on the Space Skype, Angelflare! I need to let my long time associate and former partner at SpaceX Academy, Gruff Marsman, know that Lord Darquelord is planning something.” And if I wasn’t mistaken, it could threaten the entire cinnamon supply of Northeastern Quadrant. Everyone from Beta-9 District to the Sand Dunes of Fillomare could be in grave danger…perhaps Admiral Dahl could be of some assistance. I hear he’s a rough-and-tumble rookie who lives by his own rules, and plays his home games in zero-G. Commander Grey told you BUY, you should probably do that before the Northeastern Quadrant is completely destroyed.

Carlos Gonzalez – 2-for-5, HR (21), 4 RBI. Slashing .317/.369/.549 with 21 homers and 66 RBI. I don’t want to jinx it but CarGo has remained uncharacteristically healthy this year. It must be his new diet consisting strictly of muscle milk and celery. You actually burn calories eating celery, you guys! That’s negative calories!

James Loney – 2-for-4, HR (6). I often comment that Loney is one of the most boring active baseballers, but he sure likes to do it up on Friday nights. Speaking of boring…Ii you’d like to read more of my Steampunk Space Novella/Erotica,  be sure to check out my space blog!

Tyler Collins – 2-for-4,  HR (3), 3 RBI. Keep hitting those baseballs Tyler, and maybe they won’t send you down when J.D. Martinez returns next week. To be fair, they probably still will though.

Justin Upton – 2-for-4, HR (12), 3 RBI. At this point, I am so numbed to Upton’s mediocrity this year, any show of power makes me giddy. I almost spit out my nightcap (warm milk and vodka, obvs) when I saw this. J-Ups, it’s not too late to save my season!

Collin McHugh – 1.2 IP, 10 hits, 8 ER, K. I streamed him because of who I am as a person. And I’d do it again, too! It’s all part of leading a miserable life.

Cameron Maybin – 3-for-5, 3 runs, 2 RBI. My self-esteem is unusually low this week, even for me, so here I am choosing to remind you all that I told you grab Maybin two months ago, and choosing not to remind you that I told you to grab Zach Eflin last week.

Trevor Bauer – 5.1 IP, 5 hits, 2 ER, 2 BB, 4 K. Bauer has been up and down lately, but Friday he seemed more up than down. He gets the Twins next week. Would bang.

Josh Reddick – 1-for-5, HR (8). That is re-ddick! And I’m not talking about the awesome Vin Diesel films. Apparently, that’s how the kids are saying “ridiculous” these days. Everything is abbrev’d. It’s just cooler. I get it! Ain’t nobody got time for full words anymo. Josh is hitting .333 with 2 homers and a steal in the past week and if he’s not owned in your league he should be.

Jose Bautista – 1-for-4, HR (13). Returns  from the DL in his second game back with a lead off home run! Joey Bats should consider changing his nickname to the even more appropriate Joey Hits Home Runs.

Shawn O’Malley – 2-for-5, RBI, SB (4). Could be an interesting SAGNOF option if he continues to lead off for the M’s. He isn’t yet, but I’ll be sure to let you know when he is.

Jason Heyward – 1-for-4, HR (5), 3 RBI. Who would have thought three years ago that the least exciting young player on the Cubs would be Jason Heyward.

Kris Bryant – 3-for-3, run, RBI, SB (7). That’s right, folks! And he steals bases, too! The kid can do it all, don’t you wish you drafted him? I do.

Javier Baez – 3-for-5, run, RBI. When your jealous of Cubs fans and their awesome team even though they haven’t won anything in over 100 years. Seriously, the Cubbies probably have one of the most exciting young infields in ever. I’d consider moving to Chicago, but I hate wind and weather, and sausage and deep dish pizza give me bad indigestion.

Roughned Odor – 3-for-4, 2 HR (21). Odor’s got 54 RBI and 10 steals to go with his 21 jacks and a .282/.301/.508 slash. He also currently holds 10 of top 15 Pokemon gyms in the Arlington area. Now that’s skill!

Jurickson Profar – 2-for-3, 3 runs, RBI. I dreamed so long that Profar would be called up and lead my fantasy team to glory and now that he’s actually here and producing I’m like, “meh.” He’s struggled post-All Star break but has turned it on lately, batting .320 in the past week. Give him another chance, perhaps? Or nah.

Junior Guerra – 8.2 IP, 4 hits, ER, BB, 5 K, W. Finally Brewers fans have something to be proud of that doesn’t involve Jonathan Villar’s stolen base total or Will Ferrell’s beer commercials. Junior had a shot at the shutout but was lifted after letting the first two batters reach base. Still Junior has been three times flame emoji lately, ending July with a 1.59 ERA, 2 wins, with opponents hitting just .176 against him. Talk about a Junior Senior! Pro tip* That will help your fantasy team!

Jose Quintana – 6.2 IP, 7 hits, ER, BB, 9 K. Jose’s got a 2.89 ERA, 1.11 WHIP and 125/33 K/BB ratio over 137 innings. Sweet sassy molassy! If I had drafted Quintana instead of Marcus Stroman I wouldn’t be considering joining the Suicide Squad myself.

Rick Porcello – 9.0 IP, 5 hits, 2 ER, 3 K, W (14-2). Now who’s overpaid? I’m looking at you David Price. Probably Slick Rick’s best start of the year, and trust me, it’s been a pretty good year, so that’s saying something. His first complete game with Boston, and Porcello now leads all starting pitchers in wins. If you predicted Rick would lead all Red Sox pitchers in wins at the end of July you are clearly an OT Level 2 or higher and I’ll see you at the next meeting, friend! Don’t forget your quantum E-meter.

Xander Bogaerts – 2-for-5, HR (13), 3 RBI. AWESOME-X! I’m not ashamed to say to love him more than I could ever love a human baby. Or a corgi puppy for that matter. I think I’m going to end every one of my posts this year with the Great X. Xander’s batting over .400 in the past week two homers and two steals. You won’t forget about me when you’re famous will you, X? This is all happening so fast. If you don’t know by now, X-Man’s mutant power is being my fantasy kryptonite. Uh-oh, I mixed Marvel and DC again, and with San Diego Comic Con coverage still fresh on our minds…bring it on, nerds!

Questions? Problems? Complaints to management? Advice, small gifts or large bribes? Please leave it in the comments below. Join us next Saturday for another Friday recap as fantasy baseball continues next week, all week long!

 

 
  1. VinWins

    VinWins says:
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    A song I know!

    You told me that you’d wait forever
    Oh, and when you held my hand
    I knew that it was now or never

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @VinWins: Those were the best days of our lives! Oh yeah!

  2. 4.65 era thsi week says:
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    5×5 H2H

    left I have:- Teheran vs PHI,[email protected],[email protected],Syndergaard vs COL
    My opp has [email protected],[email protected]

    W: 2-1 (winning)
    Ks:61-15 (Winning)
    ERA: 4.65-3.85 (losing)
    WHIP: 1.39-1.55 (winning)

    How do i manage who to start/sit? As I’m still trying to recover from A.Ramos and Shoemaker killing my ratios this week.With only a 1 w cushion, don’t know best way to protect that while saving my ratios.

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @4.65 era thsi week: I’d probably start all , You can’t count on ERA/WHIP and WHIP but you can ensure you take wins/Ks.

      • 4.65 era thsi week says:
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        @Dan Pants:

        K’s aren’t catchable by him though as its 61 to 15 and he has 2 starts left. it’s W,ERA,WHIP that matters.

        • Dan Pants

          Dan Pants says:
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          @4.65 era thsi week: I’d probably start them all, but if I were to sit one it’d be Eikhoff.

  3. Jon says:
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    Start Renaldo Lopez vs giants?

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Jon: I would avoid if possible.

  4. Grey

    Grey says:
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    Well done, Mr. Pants!

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Grey: Thanks! I’m just happy to be here, and hope I can help the ball club.

  5. MARK IT ZERO says:
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    I’m in a 8×8 H2H weekly league. Pitching categories are W, Sv, HR,K’s, ERA, Whip, K/9, QS

    I got offered Shoemaker and AJ Ramos for McCarthy and Skaggs. I gotta pull the trigger on this one, right?

  6. Scooter G says:
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    Good morning pants

    I need to drop two of my hitters. Which 2 would you recommend dropping?

    C R Martin
    1b rizzo
    2b dozier
    Ss story
    3b arenado
    Mi villar
    CI C Davis
    Of springer, polanco, Beltran, odoubel
    Util seager, lamb
    Bn Heyward, T Turner, Valencia, Kepler

    Thanks for the advice!

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Scooter G: valencia and lamb

  7. Dan Pants

    Dan Pants says:
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    Valencia and Lamb

  8. Malicious Phenoms says:
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    Great stuff Master Pants! by the by, Profar homered last night..

  9. Gregjeffries says:
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    Great stuff Pantelones!
    Im in need of a staff ace for the stretch run. Would you trade Springer to get Scherzer? (15 team rotis, keep 5 forever)

    I could plug Kepler into Springers vacant spot. Thanks!

  10. Luke says:
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    After a month of back and forth, I finally pulled the trigger on trading Aaron Sanchez for Papelbon about 9 days ago… Ouch. I do have an offer out there to trade Jon Gray for Shawn Kelley, but it would be wise to wait until after the deadline. If Kelley is the guy after Aug 1, would you make that trade? I hate to keep trading these good young arms for Saves, but I just lost Rondon, and am left with Allen and Ramos.

    Thanks for the advice.

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Luke: wait until after the deadline, i epuld probably make the trade

  11. FeverDog says:
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    Hey Grey,

    10-team, h2h, 5×5, keeping 3 (one 25 or younger at the start of the season)

    1) Should I outright drop Saunders and just live with whatever Upton gives me, or try and move them in and out based on match-ups (which I hate doing because I HATE having bench bats)?

    2) Been offered Aroldis for Matz. Do it? Counter with Samardija for Chapman? I’ve never traded for a closer ever, but my team is so *bleh* I feel like I’ve gotta do something. I’ve tried six or seven bigger trades and nothing’s gotten past the first offer and subsequent decline. He said he’s looking for a “mid-tier SP”. If we squint, that could be Samardija, right?

    What say you?

    c-wellington
    1b-rizzo
    2b-schoop
    3b-arenado
    ss-correa
    of-marte, polanco, saunders
    util-belt, hosmer
    bn-justin upton

    sp-strasburg, matz, pomeranz, desclafani, hammel, matz, fister, velasquez, samardija, hill
    rp-cishek, robertson
    dl-vizcaino, ross
    n/a-glasnow (also on DL)

    • FeverDog says:
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      @FeverDog: Or, is Dahl the way to go instead of both Upton and Saunders!?

      • Dan Pants

        Dan Pants says:
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        @FeverDog: hold on saunders and upton, trade matz for chapman

  12. Taylor says:
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    Would you trade Rondon for Stroman in a non holds H2H league?

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Taylor: yes

  13. JJ says:
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    Hey Dan,

    Which of these guys do you like best for todays games
    J.Gallo vs I.Kennedy and his homer prone ways
    T.Naquin vs D.Overton(L) and his general suckiness

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @JJ: i’d go with naquin

  14. G says:
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    I’m In a league which courts saves and holds. I was offer Cishek for my Kelvin Herrera. Should I accept immediately or wait until trade deadline has passed to make sure Davis is not dealt. Here are my relievers:

    Melancon
    Madson
    Clippard
    Rondon
    Herrera
    Blanton
    Iglesias
    Thornburg

    I seem to have excess of holds as long as everyone stays put, especially since Rondon has went from being a source of saves to holds.

    Thanks in advance

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @G: I’d hold until after deadline.

  15. Slimbo says:
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    What’s up

    Got an offer of Villar for my aaron sanchez

    Thoughts? Was thinking of countering for Wil myers

    Thanks

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Slimbo: If you need the steals go for it, might be tough to get Myers though.

  16. Dan says:
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    Are you at all worried about this horrid Chris Davis slump or do you think he’ll right the ship?

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Dan: He’s still got the power but I don’t see his average getting a whole lot better,

  17. Joe says:
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    Grey can’t nail them all. Nats just traded for Melancon.

    • Joe says:
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      @Joe:

      Should we grab Feliz?

      • Joe says:
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        @Joe: Or Watson?

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        Feliz

        • Los Putos says:
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          @Grey: stephen Nesbitt, Pitsburgh Gazette reporting watson takin over.

          id still grab Feliz

          • Rico says:
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            @Los Putos: And I see the order has been Feliz, Watson, Melancon in the 7, 8, 9th innings respectively. Perhaps the advice to add Feliz has to do with the chances the Bucs move Watson also before the deadline? As it stands, it certainly looks like it’s Watson’s job for the time being.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Sorry, looks like they’re going Watson

  18. letsgo says:
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    I’m pretty sick of David Robertson as a closer.. That said, to add the Pirates new closer should I drop Robertson straight up?

    I play in a head to head weekly and we only have two rp slots for the entire week. Currently I have Robertson and Cody Ross..

    Other options to drop are
    My bench bat –> dahl or one of the following pitchers: shoemaker/Duffy/

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @letsgo: Hold for now.

  19. Alex says:
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    Would you add Dahl over Kepler?

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Alex: I’d want Dahl

  20. Robert says:
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    Dan the man- I have Schoop and I am concerned with his production the past month. Would you drop him for any of the following: Prado, Trea Turner, Hernan Perez. This is a 10 team h2h league.

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Robert: Turner

Comments are closed.