Did you guys seriously think I was doing a theme based on the 1980 classic film 9 to 5? Now don’t get me wrong, I have seen that movie more times than I care to admit. Working for Grey is like working for Dabney Coleman in the movie. Damn, I miss Dabney, always enjoyed his work (here is my top five movies of his in no particular order: 1,2,3,4,5). I’m not even going to go down how the other writers fit into that cast. Okay, twist my arm why don’t you… if I must, Tehol is Dolly Parton for obvious reasons, Sky is Lily Tomlin with that big brain of his and I’m Jane Fonda. Wait, no, I mean Jay is Jane, Fonda because he has silky smooth skin. [Jay’s Note: I do.] I’ll be Margaret, the drunk wise cracker. Hey, I can’t be doing this, I said I wouldn’t I have some update issues to discuss. You have to excuse the mess above, I get sidetracked more than a meth head with ADHD. This week we won’t be having the weekly leaders due to some computer issues. I apologize for that, and hopefully they will return next week. If you had a good week, then please share in the comments… or if you’re SteveNZ, share if you had a bad week. That guy is always having a bad week. Instead of the weekly leaders, I’ll be highlighting the category counting stats leaders for the first third of the season, as I feel a need to show love to more people. My therapist says its good for my anger issues. That guy is a pain in my ass.
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I try not to use titles of movies I haven’t seen but I’m gonna fudge on this one. Look, I tried figuring out how to work Planet Of The Apes in but hey, you try. I’m waiting…exactly, now you understand my conundrum. Look, it’s not like I don’t like ‘old movies’, per se. I mean, I watched Metropolis and loved it and that came out when Mr. Heston was just 4 years old. Let’s just say that my knowledge of movies in the 50’s and 60’s is weak at best and enjoy the topic I brought to you today. How do you like that, you damn, dirty apes! Sorry, still on the better POTA movie. Eff you, Marky Mark! Anywho, we’re talking Chris Heston. As a guy who plays in regular, season long leagues, Heston has been my go to when I need a good stream. He’s your prototypical Giants pitcher who’s not an ace and not that great on the road usually unless the matchup is right (HOUSTON HELLO!). Given the Pirates lineup, though fearsome, features mostly righties and Heston has so far neutralized them over the course of the year, his $5,300 makes him a great punt SP2 for your tourneys so you can squeeze in the sweet, sweet pep of that LAD@COL series. And if he doesn’t pan out? Well…yeah, still haven’t seen Ben-Hur, and now I’m just dipping into POTA parodies. An obvious sign we should move on. So with that, let’s get it on (but not like that). Here’s my sweltry hot takes for this Tuesday DK slate…
New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 25 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Gallo Is A Fine Wine Before It’s Time
June 2, 2015 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 638 Commentsby: Grey
Adrian Beltre was diagnosed with a dislocated left thumb. The doctor said it could be anywhere, his glove compartment, upstairs by the hamper, in the basement by the weights we bought you in high school that you never used. Beltre will miss two to three weeks. So… the Rangers called up Joey Gallo! *searching Gallo on Google, coming across Orson Welles commercial outtakes* Damn, that Orson guy was a genius. Orson Bean too. You cannot go wrong with the name Orson! Could Gallo be Orson-like? I think he can, but, like the dentist tells you, there’s some caveats. Here’s what I said this offseason, “I get the sneaking suspicion that Gallo is going to be The Return of the Sucky Average Lagoon Monster, who was played briefly last year in an off-Broadway revival by Chris Carter. In Double-A last year, Gallo had a 39.5% strikeout rate. That’s absurd. That’s the same rate historians have said Babe Ruth had after an all-night bender with Fatty Arbuckle when Ruth showed up and accidentally went up to bat still wearing his sleep mask. Fun fact! Sleep masks for the wealthy used to be made from raw hamburger patties. So, with Gallo wearing a raw hamburger on his eyes, is there any chance here of him hitting above .200? Not if he can’t tame his strikeouts. Right now, he’d probably hit .150 in the majors. Jot noking, Spooner. Luckily, for the sake of all that is holy, I don’t think he’s going to break camp with the club and will have time to fix his swing tendencies. His power is completely for real, and I think he could hit 30 homers in the major leagues right now. Like the bowling alley that doesn’t cater to dwarfs, no small feat there. He’s only going to be 21 years old, so 30 homers from a guy that young is crazy.” And that’s me quoting me! So, did Gallo fix his swing tendencies this year in the minors? No, not really. His strikeout rate in the minors so far is 33.6%, which is awful for Double-A, and the Rangers have specified that Gallo is merely a two to three week call-up while Beltre gets right. I’d grab Gallo for power in any league, but not at the expense of anyone that worthwhile. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Who is Chi Chi Gonzalez?
He’s a pitcher I only really knew because of his incredible name (and seeing it a few times on prospect lists)… I knew almost nothing about this guy. So instead of doing any research or pounding the Fangraphs, I decided to go into this week’s Pitcher Profile blinded. I’m going into it like walking into a crowded room, desperately yelling “Chi Chi?! Chi Chi!??!?!”
And honestly, I wouldn’t have broken down his debut against the Red Sox on Saturday had it not been a no-hit bid into the 6th. Debut bias alert! “JB, you got suckered in…” Darn tootin’! But I was unable to watch the start live, so even though I figured there was some smoke and mirrors going on, you never really know until you sit down and watch a guy to see how he looked. So alas, here’s how I saw Chi Chi’s Major League debut:
Please, blog, may I have some more?
SAGNOF Special, Week 9: Sell Steven Souza?
June 1, 2015 | Closers, Steals | 45 Commentsby: RotoLance
This is the SAGNOF Special “broken record edition” where I repeat things I’ve touched on in the past. Danny Santana bad. Rajai Davis good. But let’s start with: sell Steven Souza. Why? So many reasons, but the most important are his 37% K rate and 35.7% HR/FB. The K rate is bound to come down some, but how much? 32-35% might still be too high for Souza to have great value going forward, once the HR/FB rate regresses. To put that HR/FB rate in perspective, last year’s leader among qualified batters was Jose Abreu, with 26.9%. Nelson Cruz‘s HR/FB rate was “only” 20.4% last year. So on the one hand you can be very successful with a much lower HR/FB rate, on the other hand if Souza’s HR/FB rate were halved and we assume that half of his home runs were instead FB outs, his AVG drops from .238 to .206. While he can in fact have value with such a low AVG, the problem is, will the Rays send him down? To look at it another way, think of how low his average might be during a 3-4 week home run drought. So who to trade for? If you want a similar type player maybe Charlie Blackmon or Gregory Polanco. If you need some pitching maybe Jake Arrieta. In any case, I’m trying to tell you to trade him as a player batting .238 with 10 home runs and 7 stolen bases, because that’s what he’s done. So if you trade him make sure you get plenty in return because you are assuming the risk that he can lower his K% down to 32%-ish while maintaining a HR/FB of above 20%, because if he can do those things he can be pretty good. But I don’t think his value will ever be higher than it is right now.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Grey is over his horrific ailments that had him sippin’ tha purp drank on last week’s show, so if you are looking for an even crazier show than last week – send Grey some hallucinogens! On this week’s show, we talk Stephen Strasburg to the DL, Prince Fielder‘s new approach, and why kale is actually bad for you. If it don’t taste good, why try and make it taste good?! We also talk RCL strategy with leagues that use starts limits, and catch your questions from Twitter… Now with another installment of Grey bashing social media! Grey also mentions his checkers prowess, so I think he’s actually 80 years old… Here’s the newest edition of the Razzball Baseball Podcast:
Please, blog, may I have some more?Don’t ask where that title is going. Is it a pun? A double entendre? Perhaps a triple one? It’s a mess, really, but there’s something funny in there…I think…but I don’t wanna think about it much longer, it’s making me uncomfortable. Instead, let’s discuss the point of my babble: Jason Hammel. So far on the season, Hammel is sitting with an ERA close to his xFIP and has had neutral luck in BABIP, LOB%, and HR%. Couple that with a K/9 over 8 and a BB/9 near 1 and moving him to a pitcher-happy place like the Unicorn Vomit Park, it’s hard not to like Jason’s chances for putting up at least his season average. I’m looking to Hammel to be my SP2 in most leagues today knowing full well he has the opportunity to finish with SP1 numbers. But enough about that, let’s talk about this: here’s my other hot takes for the Monday DK slate…
New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 25 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Effin Strasburg hit the DL on Saturday, which came a day after he pitched five outs of one-run baseball. Compared to his previous starts, Effin looked remarkably better. If he threw 27 outs, that would’ve roughly been a five-run game and way below his ERA. I had the cork to pop and cigars to hand out, but he left that game with what he deemed neck tightness. Funny, because I have tightness in my chest when he pitches. I think it’s related. “Hello, Aetna service representative, a fine day to you, ma’am. I was just calling to see if I can take out extra health insurance on the ol’ ticker when Effin Strasburg is pitching. I can? That’s great news. Chirinos!” That’s me talking to my insurance provider. So, Stephen Strasburg has neck tightness as he hit the DL. His velocity has looked good, his BABIP is ridiculously unlucky, but his control is a mess. That would indicate to me that he’s a buy low, because his neck might be the reason behind his control problems. That was why I traded Jose Bautista for him in one league. *opens patio door, climbs to top of railing, jumps, lands in pool on top of inflatable shark* Dah! Right now, I wouldn’t do the same trade. Strasburg, or any pitcher, is too risky to trade for if injured. I’m hoping us Strasburg owners get him back in two weeks and he’s fixed. A prayer triangle anyone? Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?All right, you ragtag bunch of misfits! You hate me, and I hate you even more. But without my beloved ringers, you’re all I’ve got. So I want you to remember some inspiring words that someone else might have told you over the course of your lives, and go out there and win!
Has a greater speech ever been uttered to fire up a bunch of ball players? It’s pure honesty at it’s finest. Group hate as a tool of motivation, then followed with some Zen-ish words or whatever kind of “Phil Jackson blah-blah-blah to get your head right” words. Hey, look, a basketball reference Gilpin! If we can remove ourself from the moment and transport ourselves to that happy place, then we can trick ourselves. Thank you Montgomery Burns for this gem and this great song. If this doesn’t work for you, then just think of boobs and how many you get to see if you’re successful. That’s in life, not fantasy baseball. In fantasy baseball, you get the adoration of random men over the internet. Wait, what? Ummmm… I officially just made this weird. Hey, look, there’s a creeper below me and a top-100 for you to chew on below that. *Runs away from computer.*
Please, blog, may I have some more?
DraftKings – Well It Can’t Be Worse Than Last Week’s
May 31, 2015 | DraftKings | 12 Commentsby: Geoff
I’d like to start off by apologizing. Seriously I’m sorry. The whole ordeal was awful. I came on here waxed poetic about Carlos “F*$?#!G” Frias and what does he do? He goes out and proceeds to Main Street Grand Salami’s, hangs 10 earned, and scores negative 19 points on DraftKings. I repeat NEGATIVE NINETEEN POINTS! That has to go down as the single worst piece of advice ever printed on Razzball. Needless to say Frias is on my donzo list. So if you decide to avoid any players I suggest this week I can’t say I blame you. For everyone else still left, there’s a lesson in my failure. Cheap pitching on DraftKings is risky. Some days you boom and find the gem of the contests other times you get Friased. I’m not sure the stink of that choice will ever truly wash away. Nevertheless I’m dusting myself off and stepping back up to the plate with a whole new list of DraftKings plays. Hey they can’t be any worse than last week’s. Right?!?
New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 20 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Minor Accomplishments: A Dahl Pain
May 31, 2015 | Fantasy Baseball Prospects | 155 Commentsby: Mike
David Dahl‘s 2015 season is already over after lacerating his spleen in a nasty collision. Fun fact time. Back in the day, when humans were even dumber than they are now, folks thought that the spleen produced a kind of black bile that was related to melancholy. Their descendants can now be found trolling blogs across the interwebs with a brand new arsenal of misinformation. Dahl ranked numero uno on my Rockies Top 10 Fantasy Prospects list this offseason and #12 on my Top 50 Fantasy Prospects, so this is a major injury to a very good player. Missed time is starting to pile up, as Dahl had already missed a large part of his 2013 season with a torn hammy. The 21-year-old also suffered a concussion in this week’s collision. Just talking about this makes me all melancholic. I blame my spleen. Here’s what else is happening around the minor leagues…
Please, blog, may I have some more? Two Start Pitchers, Week 9: The Nintendo Post
May 30, 2015 | Two Start Fantasy Starters | 92 Commentsby: Geoff
Travel back in time with me if you will, to a place where fanny packs, male ponytails, and Jordache jeans were all the rage. A time when Bruce Jenner was a symbol of masculinity, and O.J. Simpson was America’s favorite star! Travel with me to the age of Nintendo, a time when video games had two buttons and you didn’t need a degree in molecular biology to play. That last sentence made me sound very old, oh well. Anyway the theme of this week’s two start pitchers soiree is Nintendo! No not Super Nintendo (which was awesome BTW, #GoldenEye4life) or Wii, just plan old “blow on the console” to clean it NES. If you were anything like me then you played your fair share of Zelda, Super Mario, Duck Hunt, Tecmo Bowl, Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out, RBI Baseball, Double Dribble, Blades Of Steel, the list goes on and on. [Jay’s Note: Where’s Excite Bike and Battle Toads?] Aww the good old days when video games had easily exploitable glitches, like throwing to the outside of the plate with Nolan Ryan. Or pressing the Duck Hunt gun against the screen because that damn pooch kept laughing at you. Don’t look at me swan! Anyway, this week we have one of the deeper rosters of two-start pitchers in recent memory, and arguably the four best arms in the game double dipping. Not to worry if you don’t own one of the four horsemen there’s plenty of other great options in week number 9. So get up off of that thang and take a gander at this week’s two start madness.
Please, blog, may I have some more?
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