It’s the 4th of July everybody and life is good. You’re probably spending your day with loved ones grilling, drinking, swimming, and reminding yourself why you hate your cousin Gary. Pretentious prick! Do I really care that you do Andrew W.K’s taxes? Do we always have to listen to “Let’s Get The Party Started” at every July 4th pool party? Oh BTW your wife Cheri propositions me every time we’re alone. What can I say she wants the Lifshitz naknik. Enough about me I mean you, yes you. This in no way bears any resemblance to my life. I don’t even have a cousin Gary! In fact if you’re here reading this then you probably have no friends or family and more than likely own cats or have dead bodies in your basement. It’s cool I’m not going to say anything. So I know the question on everyone’s mind “Ralph you’re rambling what’s the theme this week?” Well it’s the 4th of July. So that’s my theme, 4th of July’s of Lifshitz past. So each tier will include an offbeat story about my Independence Day misadventures. No these misadventures will not feature Will Smith, Bill Pullman, or aliens. Or will they? Week 14 Two Start Pitchers are upon us….
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Justin Bour celebrated the birth of our nation Friday night by going 2-for-3 with his 10th home run, making that four straight games he’s homered. Bour is hotter than a roman candle! He’s hotter than a screaming mimi, on top of a snicker blaster with a sparkling spleen splitter igniting a whistling kitty chaser! Thems fireworks, y’all! I will try to keep it short and sweet today, we’ve all got American beer to drink, things to set on fire, second amendment rights to practice, BBQs to ruin and so, so many hot dogs to eat, but Justin Bour deserves a moment of your short, sweet American attention span. He is hitting .412 in the past week with 4 jacks and 8 RBI. The rookie struggled, batting just .138 with two homers in June, but with the oh so tragic injury to Giancarlo Stanton, Bour has slid into the clean up spot in Miami and it has agreed with him so far. Overall the season numbers aren’t that bad either, he’s slashing .271/.350/.521 with 21 RBI. Grey told you to BUY this hot little potato, especially if you need more power. No one is saying he’s going to replace Stanton in your line up or your heart, but with the Marlins offense in need a big boost, Justin Bour could be the 6’5, 250 pounds of All-American hero that your fantasy team and our nation, needs right now.
Here’w what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:
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Happy Birthday Old Glory! On this date 239 years ago, our founding fathers signed the Declaration of Independence. The 4th of July is now synonymous with baseball in our country. It’s truly one of the best days in Major League Baseball. Thanks to technology, we can now celebrate today with DraftKings. In 1776 that wasn’t a luxury, but could you imagine Thomas Jefferson going up to George Washington, John Adams, James Madison, Benjamin Franklin, and John Hancock after signing the Declaration of Independence and challenging them to a little DFS Baseball? Major League Baseball and fireworks are a great way to celebrate the holiday, so I hope everyone enjoys the day. Stay safe, and remember, if you are at Chavez Revine, you have to eat a Dodger Dog, or they don’t let you leave until you do. Take a look at some of my DraftKings picks today.
New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.
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Welcome again to what is tacitly known as your one-stop-shop for all things Razzball. You bring the stop, I bring the shop. That makes little sense. Well, we’re also tacitly known for that as well! This week, I’m here to proclaim that the past six (or seven, whichever way you do the math) days have been the best yet here at the house of Razz. Why is that? I have no idea. But I do know that this is the special FOURTH OF JULY EDITION. And what does that mean? Nothing really. Are you BBQ’ing? There, you can now enjoy Razzball’s weekly recap with BBQ. And you get a post with an American flag. That’s right folks, we’re all about BBQ and flags and fantasy baseball. AS IT SHOULD BE. (Also, the caps lock key.)
Be sure take a peek inside to not just take a look back, but also a look forward with some player suggestions for next week, straight from Razzball’s Streamonator, Hitter-Tron, and DFSBot!
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Don’t yell at me! I own Carlos Santana and I know how awful he’s been! It makes sense that his name is Carlos Santana, because Carlos Santana looks like Edward James Olmos and the acne scars Olmos has are how deep Carlos Santana’s scarred my fantasy soul. Sometimes I wake at night in a cold sweat, frightened that Carlos Santana has found his way on all of my fantasy teams, only to realize it’s just a dream and I haven’t been sweating. Instead, I peed myself, so I fall back to sleep soundly. So, with that uplifting lead-in to this Buy, what do you sell to get Santana? A herpes blister and hope for a dead cat bounce? Yes, that would seem to be the case. Okay, enough hubbub on the tomfoolery, do I really want you to buy Santana? Yeah, I do. Let’s look at his 1st half vs. 2nd half last year. 1st half: 14 HRs, 37 RBIs, .207 average, 45.8% ground ball rate, and death threats for what he did to fantasy teams. The 2nd half last year: 13 HRs, 48 RBIs, .260 average in 16 less games than the 1st half. His ground balls went way down (not literally!) to 34.2% and his fly balls shot up (literally!). His hard contact went up, his Ks went down, his everything went up. Some thought that his 2nd half last year was a sign he was going to break out in April this year. Yeah, that didn’t happen, but he’s not old and I can’t imagine he’s going to stay this bad all year. This year’s 1st half of 9 HRs, .211, 44.8% GB rate isn’t the end of an era, but maybe about to be the end of his error. Pithy points! Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
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When did Busta Rhymes get so fat? Dayam!!! Dude looks like he ate the Busta Rhymes I remember that put out some great music back in the late 90’s and early 2000’s. I’m not much of a rap fan, but I was always a Busta fan. When he sang “Gimme Some More” who knew he was talking to the guy that was putting food on his plate. Did you hear what the talking M&M said to Busta in that unreleased M&M’s commercial? Put your hands where my eyes can see. Sorry Busta, it’s too easy. Please spend less time at the all you can eat buffets with Billy Butler and CC Sabathia and more time making dope music. I’m sure there’s a spot in the Fast and Furious 8 Soundtrack for you.
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So, an old boss of mine used to talk about how she was friends with Chris Coghlan. This was back when Coghlan was kind of hip and new. Back when Coghlan won Rookie of the Year (the kind of ROY where we all groan, knowing that it’s probably another Angel Berroa or Bobby Crosby type selection, soon to fizzle out). Anyhow, my boss went to school with him and bragged about it. So of course, I remember ruthlessly hoping for him to fail, for no particular reason other than seeing her reaction. It was petty, and silly, and ultimately, it totally happened. Coghlan sputtered out of Miami and bounced up and down the minor leagues for a bit before resurfacing in Chicago. Let this post be my penitence. Coghlan has been surprisingly decent this season, posting a nice blend of power (8) and speed (5). Better still for this column, Coghlan has a .462 OBP over the past two weeks (.571 over the past 7 days), going 12-for-40. His playing time has been a bit sporadic with a crowded outfield now featuring Matt Szczur, but he is still a viable play in deeper OBP formats.
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When is a remake not a remake? No, this isn’t a riddle. I’m seriously curious how ‘Anaconda’ was considered a new ‘song’. Sure, Nicki Minaj provided some new…um…lyrics? Is cackling after saying ‘uluhdisfadazz’ considered lyrics? Neither here nor there for my original question, I guess so really, taking the exact same beat from a previous rap song while even sampling lyrics from that song is considered a new tune? Cool, BRB, gonna go make my new song ‘Straight Outta Eugene’. Great ideas come from the times I accidentally don’t watch Nicki Minaj on mute on YouTube, I guess. But yeah, sorry, lost myself for a bit; title homage is to Sir Mix-A-Lot. The LA Ace is of course Kershaw who’s spendy as all get out today but I really want to talk to you about that Oakland Goody in Jesse Chavez. Jesse is the classic home schooler as his ERA in O.Co (2.41) is nearly a run and a half lower than it is on the road (3.78). It also helps that his opponent for the day is the Mariners who have been an offensive wasteland for most of the year. It also helps the Mariners have been at or near the bottom in team K% for most of the year. All signs point to a solid return on that $7,000 price tag which you can pair with Clayton’s $13,100 and still build a solid squad for your cash games. Even if you don’t go with Clayton, locking in Chavez as your SP2 ain’t a bad idea. It’s better than tossing someone’s salad like your name was Romaine…sorry, those ‘lyrics’ are still haunting me. But enough about Nicki Minaj nightmares, let’s get on with it. Here’s my booty-liscious takes for this Friday DK slate…
New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 25 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.
Please, blog, may I have some more?George Springer will miss six weeks with a broken wrist. I find in these times of sadness it’s best to turn to the ones you love, your family. But it’s also important to not forget why you were sad either, so you don’t lose perspective. So print out pictures of Springer’s face and paste them to your wife, kids and dog’s faces. See, aren’t you glad you have family. It’s that kind of moral support that one needs at a time like this. If they don’t allow you to paste pictures on their face, you can leave your family or paste it on their faces while they’re asleep. Fun Fact! I always fall asleep during the movie While You Were Sleeping. Power of suggestion? Perhaps. This is obviously terrible news for Springer’s owners, and I wouldn’t get too cutesy with trying to trade for him on the cheap in redraft leagues. Wrist injuries can be tricky to rock around, it’s right on time, they’re tricky. Oh, oh, oh, they’re tricky! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
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Razzball Roto and DFS MLB Projections Update, July 2015
July 2, 2015 | DraftKings | 33 Commentsby: Rudy Gamble
There has been a lot of work behind the scenes to our daily projection methodology since my last update in May. The impact has been very positive – e.g., June represented our most accurate month ever for projecting DFS hitter points.
If you haven’t signed up already, I implurge (implore + urge) you to sign up for a month of DFSBot as for $9.99, you will get our DFS projections for DraftKings (and three others providers), the Streamonator + HitterTron for dominating Roto AND free access to our partner LineupLab’s MLB lineup optimizer leveraging our projections.
Here is a summary of the recent projections methodology improvements:
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Yasiel Puig might be the most polarizing player in major league baseball right now. Since making his MLB debut in June 2013, the 24-year-old Cuban defector’s off-the-field antics, such as repeatedly showing up late for games and displaying a questionable work ethic in the weight room, have angered fans and teammates alike. If you don’t believe me, just check out what some of his current and former teammates have to say about him. On the field, however, Puig has displayed the rare skill set of a five tool player – speed, power, the ability to hit for average, and throwing and fielding abilities. As fantasy baseball players, the first three skills (speed, power, contact) are the most pertinent, and Puig has certainly proven that he’s proficient in each of these key areas as a professional ball player.
Let’s take a look at his MLB career statistics to date:
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I am equating this one solely on one thing for the Cubbies… and that term is? Pseudo-intellectual. Joe Maddon does everything different and it’s gotta be the glasses. He makes everyone want, need or have to be involved in his bullpen. Basically, he is the united colors of Benetton of managers. His hydra approach at the bullpen is not only bothersome or troubling for the roster-bater in all of us, it’s damn near impossible to roster and guess which guy it will be today. The trio of Jason Motte, Hector Rondon, and Pedro Strop all seem to play the part of a closer, but get shuffled around like Joe is playing little game in his head. I get that some situations warrant certain match-ups, but sometimes it doesn’t make any sense to me. So for those of you that still care about the Cubs and their six save chances combined between all relievers in the last 14 days, I would roster Motte and Rondon equally, and if I had the space, I would roster Rafael Soriano and hold on tight. Soriano is going to come in like the new city slicker, with a shiny pair of aldo shoes and end up being the cat’s pajamas for about a minute in Maddon’s mind. Personally, rostering three guys to garner one stat is a crazy, crazy thing to get wrapped up into and is a waste. If you are rostering one non-closer reliever to help with ratios, where are you making this roster space up from? Nowhere is the answer, my friends. So stick to the straight and narrow for saves for now, don’t chase unless a clear situation opens it’s doors and gives out the good candy on Halloween. Stick around for some tidbits about the world of relief-dom…
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