As I’ve said numerous times, one of the most important aspects of fantasy baseball sleepers is their playing time. Sexy eh-eff stats will only get you so far if you’re drafting a hitter who is in a platoon or worse, no path to at-bats. I’m making an exception for Rowdy Tellez. His numbers are impossible to ignore. Legit hate that he’s a lefty and Major League managers have a blind spot with splits. No matter what the numbers say a lefty is vs. lefties, somehow managers always use that as a reason to get a hitter a ‘mental’ break. This year: Rowdy Tellez hit .333 in 27 ABs vs. lefties, better than he hit vs. righties. ACKSUALLY, hitting .267 vs. righties. In 2019, it was more of the same, hitting .270 vs. lefties in 115 ABs, and .208 vs. righties in 255 ABs. Some would be concerned that Charlie Montoyo would platoon him out when facing righties, and, who knows, but that would be some Galaxy Brain shizz and doubt it happens. Speaking of Galaxy Brain shizz, why do I want to call Charlie Montoyo “Tony Montana?” It’s close but not quite, so I will call him the same I call everyone I see without a mask, but making due with their clothes, Scarf-face. Any hoo! A platoon is a slight concern, but about those Rowdy Tellez numbers that are impossible to ignore, or rather: So, what can we expect from Rowdy Tellez for 2021 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?
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Toronto signified their intent to contend by signing Hyun-Jin Ryu during the winter of 2019, and he repaid their confidence with an excellent season in 2020. The rest of their pitching decisions didn’t pan out quite so beautifully, but the offensive core of a yearly contender is growing together north of the border (well, assuming they can play north of the border sometime soon), and it’s just a matter of time before they amass enough pitching to scare the bullies that beat up the AL East year over year.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Dylan Moore is, simply put, Whit Merrifield for people who are smarter than Albert Einstein. You can hem, and you can haw, and you can even hew, but there’s no getting around it. Austin Meadows is the most overrated dumpster fire that was born from a stork pooping into a grassy field, so don’t even come at me with that guy, but if you want it, here goes: Dylan Moore is, simply put, Austin Meadows for people who look after wiping. You get up without looking? You’re a dirty stork-dropping turd hole and you’re not smart enough to see the wonderous wonder that is Dylan Moore. Dylan Moore is a young man’s Lorenzo Cain. Call him Still Able Cain. You want a better metaphor? Come up with it yourself, you two-bit noodle nose! How about we put some meat on these bones? In Dylan Moore’s last 151 games in the majors, he’s hit 17 homers and stole 23 bases. Wanna come at me with another guy who you want to compare him to? Fine, Tommy Pham went 24/31 and is a decade (minus six years) older than Dylan Moore. But get this, Pham’s Ks were going up last year and he hit .211. Moore’s Ks went down and he hit .255. Whaddup, Pham?! Who else you got to compare him to? Kevin Keirmaier?! Fine, go for it with Keirmaier, who has had one healthy season in his seven-year career when he went 10/18 back in 2015. Good luck with that! You want more? Well, I want Moore! So, what can we expect from Dylan Moore for 2021 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?
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It’s your favorite hour of the week! I Can’t Believe It’s Not Not News is back again with all the Billy Hurley jokes and Grey Albright cackles you can handle. Off the top, we discuss how German courts rule in favor of techno, an underwater scooter criminal and the Austrian villager formerly named “Fucking.” Real village name, real news. Then we round the show out with a missing giant wooden penis statue in the Bavarian Alps and a whale sculpture in the Netherlands which save an out of control metro train.
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Please, blog, may I have some more?Leody Taveras could’ve appeared in my fantasy baseball rookies series, but I wanted to put some extra shine on him, and, honestly, no one knows what constitutes a rookie this year. Sixto Sanchez received Rookie of the Year votes, and I think he’s eligible again in 2021. I say “I think” because the whole point of the last few sentences is no one knows! Right, so Leody Taveras, Wily’s son, Alex’s cousin, Frank’s brother, Jose’s uncle, Aneurys’s blood brother and Samuel Clemens Taveras, the celebrated frog of Taveras County. The Taveras family — La familiaras. Or not, I don’t know if Leody is related to anyone who’s played baseball before. Getting all the stuff I don’t know out of the way, so here’s what I do know: Last year in 119 ABs, Leody Taveras went 20/4/6/.227/8. Mr. Prorater runs into a phone booth, tipping it over, but still makes a call, telling us, “Leody was on pace for a 100/20/30/.227/40 season, and if everyone was eating stacked pancakes at the same time, it would cause an eclipse of the sun.” Okay, not sure about Mr. Prorater’s math on either of those accounts, but lordy Leody that was a solid month of baseball. So, what can we expect from Leody Taveras and what makes him a sleeper?
Please, blog, may I have some more?Yesterday, at my daughter’s suggestion, we drew our butts, my daughter and me, by which I mean we outlined our forms in chalk as we sat–kind of like making a hand turkey during Thanksgiving week at preschool.
It’s raining today as I write this, so our butts will soon be gone. Washed away forever.
Good thing I took some photos.
That alone makes our day drawing butts more productive than a whole week of MLB’s winter meetings, where Lowe was the high point. Very 2020.
Let’s do the prospect thing.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Welcome back, Razzballers, to the second iteration of Saturday Stove Deals, which has since been renamed The Saturday Morning Post, cuz this is comin’ to you on a Saturday morning and it’s a super original spin on The Saturday Evening Post. Pretty deep, eh? This is where I’ll be doing my bestest to recap the […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Not a sleeper post I planned on writing. Jake Cronenworth already broke out, didn’t he? Why is it that some guys break out and are ignored the following season, then you have other guys who break out and are overrated? This fascinates me. Something psychological about it, and I can’t put my finger on it. Let me grab another guy who seemingly broke out and Jake Cronenworth, but leave you in the dark about the other guy for now, and Stamford-up a little experiment on your mind. I call this very scientific experiment: Player A vs. Jake Cronenworth. Jake Cronenworth’s Hit Tool is 60 grade, Player A is 40. Jake Cronenworth’s speed grade is 50, Player A is 50. Jake Cronenworth’s raw power grade is 45, Player A is 50. Jake Cronenworth had a .324 xBA last year which was in the top 2% of the league, Player A had a .263 xBA. Jake Cronenworth’s xSLG was .541 and top 10% of the league, Player A had a .481 and about same as Colin Moran. At worst, you’d say Jake Cronenworth and Player A were a push. At best, you’d want Jake Cronenworth. Here’s the point in our program where I shock you with who Player A is. Any guesses? Want me to just tell you? You’re no fun. It’s Trent Grisham. Same team, not same vibes at all, apparently. Trent Grisham is going about 100 spots sooner than Jake Cronenworth in some drafts. In fact (Grey’s got more!), I like Trent Grisham more than Jake Cronenworth, but should I? So, what can we expect from Jake Cronenworth for 2021 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?
Please, blog, may I have some more?So, I got the 5th pick. How’s your day going? At the Winter Meetings? That’s cool, same. Maybe you’ve seen me in the lobby, I’m wearing a floral arrangement on my head while I hide in a pot. Wait, there’s no Winter Meetings, that’s right. I mean there is, a group of billionaires are Zoom’ing into the Winter Meetings where the hottest commodity is a guy who was a backup catcher last year. Hey, Jon Heyman, stop leaking McCann news. I ate a few too many Olestra-laden potato chips and McCann is leaking! It’s none of your business! Last week, I took part in an NFBC team league, and here is, as the people say who are trying on hats, my recap. For those not in the know, this is a 15-team, two-catcher league that lasts for 50 rounds and there’s no waivers. You draft it, and manage it. Weekly moves for pitchers, bi-weekly (rawr!) for hitters, changing out on Monday and Friday. I didn’t want the fifth pick. I wanted any pick but the fifth pick. As I see it, there’s an obvious top four (Sexy Dr. Pepper, Tildaddy, FTJ, Mookie Best), then…Dot dot dot…Question mark. What now? I didn’t want to think for the 1st pick, but the automated draft picker thing (that’s its name) said I was the most qualified to think, so I thought. Or I just screwed up my pre-draft rankings for which pick I wanted. Like a teamster, I’m leaning on the latter. Anyway, here’s my NFBC draft recap:
Please, blog, may I have some more?Feels oddly fated that the Yankees land right behind the Red Sox in the sequence I’ve chosen: alphabetically, division by division. It’s more than Babe Ruth and Bucky Dent linking the legacies of these organizations. It’s the Razz Prospect Rundown now, too!
Okay, enough hilarity. Baseball’s all business in the AL East. Everywhere, really. If I start writing in this thought space at all, I’ll lose my shizz over the hyper-capitalist, negotiating-table Designated Hizzer shizz that’s shizzing all over the off-season.
Deep breaths.
I spelled “hizzer” that way because I couldn’t say “Designated Hitter shizz that’s shizzing” when I read the sentence back to myself.
Like, my tongue would refuse to make the sounds so matter how hard I focused.
I was saying “designated hizzer shizz” when I tried to read the whole sentence.
And I liked it.
Let’s do the prospect thing.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Reds trading away their closer, Raisel Iglesias, for Noé Ramirez is the kind of deal that will be used by future generations when they dissect when baseball clearly wasn’t about winning. This makes sense from the Angels’ perspective, clearly. Nothing that Angels like more than las Iglesias, and now they have two of them, having traded for Jose Iglesias earlier this offseason. This is not a black and white world, so I could see them trading for Emilio Pagan to balance their shoulders. Mike Trout will need to learn the Spanish nursery rhyme, “Aquí is the Iglesias, aqui is the personas, aquí is the pescado without a championship.” All I Noé is that dude is an 88-MPH middle reliever and what are the Reds doing? I like Amir Mrs. Garrett as much as the next guy, but he’s their closer now? I thought they were trying to be competitive. Why is “not being competitive” even an option? Okay, I’m about to burst my ulcer. So, Raisel Iglesias will clearly be the Angels’ closer, and has the stuff to be a top 3 closer. Last year he went 12.1 K/9, 2 BB/9, and 2.87 xFIP, and is nearly that dominant in his career, not just goofy 60-game seasons. For 2021, I’ll give Raisel Iglesias projections of 2-3/2.52/1.06/84, 34 saves in 67 IP.
On a more somber note, wonder what the Heaven’s Gate guy would’ve thought about the Angels trading for Raisel Iglesias and Jose Iglesias. That’s gotta be a sign, right? No? Well, he would’ve thought it was. Side note: the phrase “what in the holy eff” was invented for the HBO Max Heaven’s Gate documentary. As for Jose Iglesias, I’ve already drafted him in one 2021 league. Yes, I’ve already drafted a 2021 fantasy baseball league, I’ll try to go over it later this week. It was super late when I went to Iglesias, but I was hoping he could save my batting average’s soul. He’s a high contact, nothing else guy. For 2021, I’ll give Jose Iglesias projections of 64/8/68/.283/6 in 472 ABs. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason for 2021 fantasy baseball:
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It’s your favorite hour of the week! I Can’t Believe It’s Not Not News is back again with all the Billy Hurley jokes and Grey Albright cackles you can handle. Off the top, we discuss why Subway sandwiches can no longer legally be called food in Ireland and what’s up with Lady Gaga’s new oreos. Then we chat about Toyko’s new porn star amusement park and the strange monoliths popping up all over the world.
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Find all of this week’s hilarious stories here:
Please, blog, may I have some more?