Yesterday, Hunter Brown (2/3 IP, 9 ER, ERA at 16.43) reinvented doomscrolling. Doomscrolling is now the act of frantically searching your fantasy teams to see if you have Hunter Brown anywhere. I literally dropped him the day before this start to pick up Brandon Marsh and now I am forever indebted to Brandon Marsh. I will be sending Brandon Marsh a ham for Christmas. I won’t even make a bad pun on the attached card wishing him a Happy Christmarsh.

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See all of today’s starting lineups

# MLB Starting Lineups For Tue 8/5
ARI | ATH | ATL | BAL | BOS | CHC | CHW | CIN | CLE | COL | DET | HOU | KC | LAA | LAD | MIL | MIN | NYM | NYY | PHI | PIT | SD | SEA | SF | STL | TB | TEX | TOR | WSH | MIA | OAK

Baby we are back, and if we’re not better than ever, we are every bit back as we better be! While our sentences remain gnarled and cumbersome, the mission also remains: Make my editor squint really hard to make sure I meant to make a grammar error, and more importantly: Find the fantasy baseball blurbs that provide the greatest of chuckles, so that you too may share in the wealth of this silliest of obsessions. Mostly we’re here to gingerly place two colons in one sentence to test whether this crime of punctuation will result in my body crushed under a tall bookshelf of moldy old grammar textbooks.

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What is up party people. The action is in full swing and there is nothing better than seeing one of your preseason favorites putting up a great performance. A perfect example of that is Yordan Alvarez because yes, this is the kind of performance we were expecting from him, 4 dongs and a .458 batting average. Ok, the batting average is obviously inflated due to the small sample size but the man has legit 70 bomb power. Love to see it.

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In our 39th episode, Mike Couillard and Jeremy Brewer open with discussion of the latest moves and news including Jackson Holliday’s call-up and the mountain of new injuries. Then we overview the release of 2024 Topps Heritage, one of the most popular releases annually. You can find us on twitter (X) at @cardscategories, @mcouill7, and @jbrewer17 and on bluesky at […]

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Yesterday, was National Sibling Day and Josh Naylor (2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 3rd homer) and Bo Naylor (2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 2nd homer) showed us what it means to be a brother. A brother’s bond is an unshakeable promise to always be there for each other. I can think of two sets of Gallagher brothers alone that show this:  Liam and Noel Gallagher, who found an Oasis in the desert of 90’s rock, and Leo and Ron Gallagher, who showed us there was room on a watermelon for more than one sledgehammer.

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Congratulations to the Orioles for finding a new way to manipulate the collective bargaining agreement! SS Jackson Holliday will be called up today and retain eligibility for the bonus prizes set aside for players who break camp with the big club. Why? Who the hell knows!? Turns out the contract language has nothing to do with opening day. A player just has to spend 172 days in the majors. If the Orioles held Holliday down another month for super two reasons, he could still come up and win rookie of the year, earning that year of service time regardless of the organization’s efforts to own him for as long as possible. This way, they can have their cake and eat it later, maybe. If Holliday struggles, they can send him back down and recoup the season of service. If he’s good, he’ll be a front runner for rookie of the year and win them a draft pick and some pool money. Real feel-good story stuff. Holliday is slashing .333/.482/.595 with a 14.3 percent strikeout rate. These 11 days in the minors have clearly been essential for his development. 

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