I love when I tell you to pick up a player and he comes up days later. It makes me smile, and not one of those weird Japanese emoji smiles, but a full-faced grin. So, Andrew Heaney, you’re already okay in my book, even if that book is called, “Rookie Pitchers Will Fill You With Enthusiasm Until They Actually Pitch For Your Fantasy Team.” If you missed my Andrew Heaney fantasy with Friday’s Buy, where were you? Playing Patty Cake without your hands on the dance floor to Jason Derulo’s Wiggle song? Good story, brah. You should turn that into a novella. I’m giggling with excitement for Heaney like I’m Lisa Simpson, only instead of hehe I’m going HeHeaney. Pitching his home games in Crayola Canyon won’t hurt him, and the NL East is filled with a bunch of sad, sad hitting teams. Didja know the Marlins are the best NL East hitting team, and it’s not close? Fact! The Braves, Phillies, Nats and Mets could hold a two week round robin tournament and score less runs than goals scored in the World Cup. I went over the dangers of rookie pitchers in my Friday Buy, and what Heaney’s been doing this year in the minors. It’s all there. I will say now he should be owned in every league and is capable of winning the NL Rookie of the Year in only a little over a half a season. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
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Pitcher Profile: Vance Worley Or Vance WAR-ly?
June 16, 2014 | Fantasy Baseball Rankings, Pitcher Profiles | 95 Commentsby: JB Gilpin
I know, I know. Terrible title pun and Vance Worley isn’t exactly the most exciting Pitcher Profile. CALL UP ANDREW HEANEY ALREADY! Just needed to get that out of my system…
I thought about a Danny Duffy. Maybe Daisuke Matsuzaka. Mostly because that would be an inning-long Pitcher Profile and I could play more Call of Duty. He shoulda laid off the Steak “n Shake! Over/under on amount of times you see that joke today…
But back to Worley. I think it’s easily forgotten just how good a run he had for the 2011 Phillies. 3.01 ERA? 119 Ks in 131.2 IP? 11 Wins? Really surprising looking back on those… Then he was terrible in his follow-up with the Phils, followed by getting absolutely crushed in 10 starts for the Twins last year. Starting 2014 in AAA, Worley was meh in 7 starts with a 4.30 ERA, but an encouraging 43 Ks in 46 innings. Which nobody would ever care about, except he had as good a debut anyone could’ve expected yesterday at Miami. And actually – and I didn’t even think to look until the broadcast showed his Minors numbers – 43:4 K:BB in AAA. Wowzer! So I decided to take a look at the spectacled SP and if there’s anything there for you to care about in your fantasy leagues:
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Ambulance Chasers, Week 12: Colorado in Crutches
June 16, 2014 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 4 Commentsby: SethDaSportsMan
The Colorado Rockies have not had an easy go of it this season. After beginning the year in tremendous fashion, injuries have contributed to a pretty steady drop in the standings. Once 22-14, the Rockies have fallen one game below .500, to 34-35. Pitching is always to blame when it comes to the blemishes of the Blake Street Bombers, and this year has been no exception, with the team placing last in the majors with a 4.61 ERA. However, mounting injuries have put an even bigger dent into the psyche of the good spirited people of Denver. First, Nolan Arenado hit the DL. Then it was Michael Cuddyer (twice) and Carlos Gonzalez. Pitcher Jordan Lyles, who had been their best starter to date, broke his non-pitching hand on a freak play. Wilin Rosario even had a stint on the sidelines with a stomach bug. Presumably, he’s been using that as his excuse for his poor hitting all season long. The only player who hasn’t been hurt is human house-of-straw, Justin Morneau. Go figure.
Good news for the Rockies, and for fantasy owners, is that Arenado (finger) could be back by the All-Star break, or perhaps even sooner if he can progress quickly through rehab games. While any possible cancer scare is nothing to dismiss, the fact that CarGo’s injury was “only” a benign foreign mass — and not a torn ligament — was the best possible news his owners could hear. His original five-week timetable would have him back around the All-Star break.
Now all the Rockies need to do is get superz-sized sheets of bubble wrap for Troy Tulowitzki.
Here are some other injury notes that caught my eye this week…
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Eric Young is set to return from the disabled list prior to today’s game. While hamstring injuries are never fun to mess around with, Young did have 17 stolen bases before the injury. He had been relegated to a fourth outfielder role with the Mets, but now that Juan Lagares is hurt, Young should see a decent amount of playing time in the near future. He’ll draw the Cardinals and the Marlins this week. The match-up with St. Louis is obviously tough (only 18 steals allowed) but then there’s a four game set with Miami. That series should be a good opportunity for Young to show off his wheels as the Marlins are currently ranked fourth in baseball with 52 steals allowed. Here are some other steals picks for this week in 2014 fantasy baseball…
Please, blog, may I have some more?
DraftKings – Koehler Heads Prevail
June 16, 2014 | DraftKings, Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 23 Commentsby: Sky
I see you back there. Yes I’m talking to you. You love risk and I know you do. How can I tell? Well for starters you’re reading my column here at the ‘ole Razzball rag. You don’t know what a ‘rag’ is do you? It’s ok, you’re the internet generation, we’ll let it slide. I can’t wait for the days when my walk up to the check out at the grocery store has touch computer screens of ‘The Sun’ and ‘People’ rather than actual magazines. I’ll swipe my iPhone past Vibe E-zine to get the latest copy and read about 2Pac’s hologram tour across Europe with the Notorious B.I.G. after their rights have been bought out by Apple. It’s gonna be crazy in 2015 y’all! But of course, you didn’t come here for a glimpse of the future…well you did, just not that far so let’s talk Tom Koehler or better yet, let’s talk Chicago Cubs. We know the drill: Cubs offense = teh suck. Team SLG%? Bottom ten. Team wOBA? Bottom five. Team K%? Bottom three. Admittedly, Koehler has been middling at best on the year but given the spacious confines of his home ballpark and the team he gets to take the mound against, I’d say he’s a solid SP2 for your GPP games over on DraftKings today. Don’t like my take? Well how about the DFSBot saying he’s worth about $8K on the day which is what Weaver goes for. As long as he isn’t needled with singles and walks all game, this should be a 20 point start in my book and it’ll free up some dough to buy a high end pitcher and not kill your batting budget. BTW, if you’re used to our resident stock symbol BTXJ on your Mondays, I have a special surprise for you…he’s dead and buried under my gardenias in the back yard. Woah, wrong surprise and dead body! No, my Thursday nights have become too hectic to handle the rigors of DFS writing so we’ve done a perma-swap. Just keep that in mind if you’re looking for me later in the week before you have a Freaky Friday. And with that, it’s time to move on. Here are some other Razzball picks for June 16th contests on DraftKings for 2014 Fantasy Baseball…
Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Price Is 10K With No Free Passes
June 16, 2014 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 791 Commentsby: Grey
David Price is one of the most interesting pitchers right now. Snooze! Okay, Random Italicized Voice, I’ll try not make this too boring. No, I thought I heard an alarm and was yelling for it to snooze. Oh, okay. So– Snooze! You’re not hearing an alarm! Maybe it’s your voice, Random High-Pitched Voice! Snooze! So, Price’s K/9 and BB/9 are at 10+ and sub-1. He should be a top five pitcher with those numbers. It’s not rocket surgery that if you’re striking out ten guys per nine innings and walking less than one guy good things will happen. This isn’t like when your mom says if you’re good to people, good things will happen back to you, cause I’m pretty sure any millionaire will tell you that’s a crock. The odd thing is not enough good things have happened to Price. See, Mom! Price’s ERA is at 3.93 on the year. That couldn’t be further from what is going on. Right now, he’s having the best season of his career from a strictly peripheral sense. This is all happening while his fastball velocity continues to fall. It doesn’t add up like Joan from Mad Men being married to that guy that looks like a young Jeff Goldblum only geekier. As each great start happens like yesterday’s — 8 IP, 3 ER, 5 baserunners, 10 Ks — it’s going to make it harder to buy Price low, but I would. Snooze! Ugh, I hate you. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
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Jam It or Cram It: Father Knows SAGNOF!
June 15, 2014 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 95 Commentsby: The Guru
Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there. Go do some dad stuff today. Put on some plaid pants, play some golf, watch some baseball, fire up the grill, drink some Schlitz, and tell them kids to get off your lawn. When it comes to Papa Guru *cue “Cat’s in the Cradle”* I got my love for baseball, gambling and fine scotch from the man we kids called “Run, dad’s home!” When it comes to this fake baseball game we spend way too much time on while ignoring our own kids it all started for me when Papa Guru introduced me to Strat-O-Matic back in the 80’s. I was forever hooked on baseball stats. It was a fun game for father/son bonding until the old man got sent to the hoosgow for safecracking – not the best profession for a man that suffered hearing damage in ‘Nam. No, he wasn’t hurt in the war, he just got a little too close to Ning Pam during her flaming ping pong ball trick. Think The Deer Hunter crossed with Porn Hub. Since I basically played Russian roulette with closers on all my RCL teams this year I’ve been getting my face blown off by the likes of Grant Balfour and Jim Johnson all season long. I’m not hurting so much with steals, but could use a multi-positional bench SAGNOFer to maximize at-bats and grab some cheap stats. Let’s fire up the Jammer Crammer© machine and see if there’s anything left for us SAGNOF! starved Razzaholics to salvage. Since it is Father’s Day, I’ll let Papa Guru give his opinion on each player – he’s going to do it whether we let him or not. It’s time for an encore edition of the SAGNOF! Jam it or Cram it.
If you’re looking for some bonus jams and crams, check out Razzball Radio where Nick and your well turbaned Guru talk jams of the week and I share why I hate the World Cup.
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Lineup Maximizer: I Know Why the Brock Holt Swings
June 15, 2014 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 5 Commentsby: paul
There aren’t many things you need to know about me. However, when something in my personal life conflicts with my ability to provide you with unrivaled fantasy advice, then what’s my business becomes our business. Our business is that I’m in that glorious for some, and miserable for others abeyance between graduating college and commencing my tenure as an employed person. Instead of lamenting during this transitional phase, I’ll be spending the next few weeks on a Euro-trip beginning in Copenhagen and continuing through Berlin, Prague, Vienna, Munich, and Amsterdam [Jay’s Note: Niiiiiiiiiiice.] before finally flying out of Paris July 9th. Needless to say, I likely won’t find the time to sit down and write one of these articles during this prolonged muck-fest. Hopefully you’ve gained the tools to maximize you’re lineups yourselves, because you are own your own the next month or so. If anyone has any advice for such a journey or any hotspots I should check out, feel free to share in the comments. [Jay’s Note: Red Light District.]
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Which is happier, man or boy?
The soul of the father is steeped in joy,
For he’s finding out, to his heart’s delight,
That his son is fit for the future fight.
– Edgar A. Guest –
In honor of today being Father’s Day, I wanted to take this opportunity to talk abut the men that help make us men. For those of us who are fathers, the above excerpt from a poem will resonate with you. If you’re a father, I hope you have a memorable day, and for those who are not fathers, I hope you can go out and try and become one! Who’s a better father figure in MLB than the man with more juniors than any other? Adam Dunn is the big donkey, and however you want to interpret that is up to you. In fantasy, he hits a lot of home runs and strikes out a lot. He has many offspring, with new ones coming to the surface on a regular basis. There is the Mini-Donkey in Mark Reynolds, and the Mini-Mini-Donkey Ian Stewart. I also recognize El Burro Pedro Alvarez and the Urban Donkey Chris Carter. Do you have any other Donkey nicknames? [Jay’s Note: Does Pronk count?]
Please, blog, may I have some more?If you’re familiar with Razzball, then you know about all of the handy tools. My favorite is the Stream-o-Nator (SON for short). It gives dollar values for pitchers specific to that day’s match-up and it’s the primary reason I’m recommending A.J. Burnett today against the Cubs. Burnett’s season has been inconsistent at best and he’s battling an injury that will likely last the whole year. He did however put together a really nice start his last time out and he’s a value play today at $7,700. SON likes his start $18, which ranks third overall for the day and is about $10 higher than an “average” start. The Cubs rank dead last in MLB against right handers with a 74 wRC+. Their 22.7% strikeout percentage against right-handed pitching is the fourth highest in baseball. Considering the price and the opponent, I like the risk/reward you’re getting today with Burnett. Happy Father’s Day!
If you are new to DraftKings, use our promo link to get started. New players that click on that link will get a free contest ticket with a first time deposit (only new users eligible). The winner of the contest gets entry into our $500k Showcase with a $100k top prize. Also, if you haven’t tried the DFSBot via Rudy, check it out: it compares projected values to actual DFS prices for the day. Here are some of today’s other picks for DraftKings contests on 6/15/2014…
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Minor Accomplishments — Week 11
June 15, 2014 | Fantasy Baseball Prospects | 77 Commentsby: Scott Evans
Happy Fathers Day, Razzball Nation, especially to the dads we have here on staff: Rudy and Mike and Nick are proud fathers, and I’ve heard Tehol has offspring on every continent, although that rumor is unsubstantiated. I’m not a dad, but I have one, and I’ll be hanging with him today, doing our usual Fathers Day bonding (sipping fine booze while watching the US Open). I hope everyone can find something equally gratifying to do with their dads, or with their sons and daughters. And however it is that you choose to enjoy the day, here’s to all the good fathers out there. Cheers.
Please, blog, may I have some more?
As always, probable pitchers are subject to change. For a look at all fantasy baseball streamers, click that link.
I did some soul-searching math the other day, and I determined that 54 percent of the time, I’m right every time. But that benchmark of psychic-level foresight seems to no longer be reachable in these turbulent times. Although a few recent stumbles have me questioning myself a bit lately, there are some things I do know for sure. Taking a page out of Jimmy Fallon’s playbook, I give you my “True Facts of Truth” for the 2014 Fantasy Baseball Season:
1) Something (Bigger crackdown on P.E.D.’s? Climate change? More tightly wound balls?) has sapped the power out of guys who used to have power. Robinson Cano, Billy Butler, Jedd Gyorko and Evan Longoria are among those who have experienced major power outages.
2) Roughly 32 percent of all adult males get excited when they see Matt Adams rub a bat between his moobs, but only 30 percent will admit to it (Cards’ fans).
3) Something (Bigger crackdown on P.E.D.’s? Climate change? Less tightly wound balls?) and not something else (kids throwing curveballs too early) has made Dr. James Andrews and very busy man and caused carpel tunnel issues for whoever types up the disabled list section of the transactions that run in newspaper sports sections.
4) The “R.A.” in R.A. Dickey stands for “Really Acting”.
5) Guys who were aces heading into the season (Justin Verlander, Matt Cain, Gerrit Cole, Gio Gonzalez, Homer Bailey) are not aces in 2014, and therefore not automatic green lights as two-start pitchers.
6) Guys who were not aces heading into the season (Johnny Cueto, Dallas Keuchel, Phil Hughes, Tim Hudson, Mark Buehrle, Josh Beckett) are pitching like aces and becoming dang near must-starts as two-start pitchers.
7) In cricket, the game of pepper is called “circle jerk.”
8) When in doubt, go with the Stream-O-Nator.
9) If you’re still not sold, look at a dude’s K/BB per game ratio.
10) Ronald Belisario is actually 61 years old.
Maybe you saw something in the list you can use and apply to the rankings below. Or maybe you saw some things that have you questioning the future of the human race. Regardless, let the Two-Startapalooza begin!
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