Marcus Stroman went from calf tightness to a tear. That’s what the cow said! Huh? Sorry, I’m a little freakin’ delirious because I own Stroman in not one, not two–I can’t even count how many leagues I own him in because I don’t have enough fingers and toes, and this is a PG show and we can’t count with anything else, you absolute pervs! Hey, serious question, has anything ever good happened to the Mets? Not to get all metaphysical rolling magnets around my shakras, but The Curse of The Bambino became The Curse of 1986. I won’t hear different. Bill Buckner allie-kazoo’d some voodoo on Mookie Wilson and the Mets have never been the same. Alas, I would drop Stroman in every league, aside from maybe NL-Only, but even there it’s pretty meh. He’s week-to-week, so maybe he returns by the end of August. What are you holding that for? The S’s and G’s train left the station a long time ago. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Brian Dozier – Signed with the Mets. If you’re a Wilpon, the only thing better than Jed Lowrie is signing a poor man’s Lowrie.

Juan Lagares – Signed with the Mets. The Mets heard what a great ratings draw an Old Timers’ Game can be and are not above a stunt.

Gordon Beckham – Released by the Mets. They have Dozier for the poor man’s Lowrie role. No room for two, Gordon. You were a role player, and that role has been filled.

Hyun-Jin RyuJays still don’t have a home. Pittsburgh fell through. That’s too bad, because, with traffic, Pittsburgh is closer to Toronto than Anaheim is to Los Angeles, so in a lot of ways the Pittsburgh Blue Jays of Toronto makes more sense than the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. I still think a last second deal will be made for Buffalo, but right now the Jays are gonna be a traveling circus, moving around the country, carrying all their shizz like Steve Martin in The Jerk. Vlad Jr., “All I need is this chair…and this stapler…and this glove…” All the projections in the Streamonator and Hittertron are up-to-date with Jays as neutral, but they will get updated based on wherever they play, so I imagine you might see some changes when things solidify.

Nate Pearson – Will be called up on July 29th. At exactly midnight on July 29th, Pearson will emerge from his cocoon, a fully realized butterfly, capable of being a star MLB pitcher. Or, ya know, usual BS service time manipulation.

Hunter Dozier – Hit the IL with Covid. We lasted all the way from when I wrote my Hunter Dozier sleeper post in November to Re-Opening Day in July and now I lose Dozier. *cry-snorts* I would’ve removed Dozier from my rankings, but they’re finally locked in. I’m no longer reranking guys, roughly 7 months after I began. Praise you, Jesus Christ-Aguilar-Montero!

Brady SingerRoyals’ 1st round pick in 2019 will start on Saturday. Up until today I thought Brady Singer was the annoying person who, after hearing about someone’s remarriage, would sing, “Here’s the story of a lovely lady…” Prospect Itch said of Singer, “Once in the conversation with Casey Mize for top overall pick, Singer fell to pick 18 after an up-and-down college stretch but came out strong as a pro and remains a low-floor, decent-topside arm with a ground ball profile. If only I could floor Grey.” What the hell, my dude! So, I grabbed Singer in one 15-team mixed league where I might’ve lost Marcus Stroman forever, and Singer was owned in an AL-Only league. Shallower, I didn’t bother looking.

Mike Trout – Plans to play the whole year, impressed with how MLB is handling the pandemic. He said, “Everything’s been great, but how come no one is answering when I call the Blue Jays’ clubhouse?” I would move Trout back up to 3rd or 4th overall, coin flipping him and Bellinger, if I were still changing my rankings, or if you have a very late draft.

Anthony Rendon – Could miss a couple of games of the regular season. Or as I’m calling it, “Really? We’re playing real baseball games that count? It must be a dream!”

Zack Wheeler – His child came early and I couldn’t even tell he was pregnant! Wheeler’s owners will be happy to know they will be dining out on placenta, and fantasy value this year. He’s not opting out.

Framber Valdez – Will start the Astros’ 5th game of the season, while Jose Urquidy is on mend. With this toothpick, Dusty poked a hole in his mask and said, “We’ll see how long Framber stays in the rotation.” Yes, we will!

Jake Odorizzi – Will begin the season on the IL with upper back soreness. Sounds like I’m down to one starter in some leagues just in time for Re-Opening Day. Bring on the madness!

Jordan Montgomery – Will start the 6th game of the season. Or after one-tenth of the season is played. I don’t hate JoMo for the stream in certain circumstances — Certances? Cercumstances? Oh, definitely not that. — but you need to play the Streamonator more than you need to get tied to a guy who might be in and out of the rotation, or as the 5th starter.

DJ LeMahieu – Still trying to figure out when he’ll be ready for Re-Opening Day. Not to, ya know, pressure anyone, but he kinda needs to be ready today.

Tom Murphy – Will begin season on IL with a broken bone in his foot. Welp, I’ve already dropped my catcher. Bring on the Frankencatchers, long live the Frankencatchers.

Freddy Peralta – Will start the third game of the season. Feels like for every terrible thing we get five more terrible things and then, maybe, if we’re lucky, we get one good thing. Well, I don’t know what terrible things Peralta-into-the-rotation is offsetting, but it’s a good thing.

Alec Mills – Named Cubs’ 5th starter. You might remember Alec Mills as the mom on The Wonder Years. More relevantly, he relies on offspeed stuff, and you would too if you had an 89 MPH fastball. Not surprisingly, he had 104 IP in Triple-A last year with a 5.11 ERA and turns 29 in November. Jose Quintana will be back shortly to take the rotation spot. Can tell Mills is not good without being smart, Alec.

Mookie Betts – Signed a deal with the Dodgers through 2032. Ha. We are barely getting through 2020, and y’all out here signing deals through 2032. Mookie Betts in 2032 is gonna be I Am Legend playing baseball with a German Shepherd, and an automated Al Gore head with an electronically altered voice talking like Max Headroom.

Ke’Bryan Hayes – Optioned to Pirates alternative training site at Altoona. More like Altoon-up! Right?! C’mon, high-five the crap out of me! Not literally! We can’t touch!

Keone Kela – Says he’s tested positive for Covid since June 30th with no symptoms. Good news is he has to return a negative test soon. Bad news is why hasn’t he already and can others remain sidelined for that long? Related news, Kyle Crick should get saves in his stead. Unrelated news, I just burped.

Austin Riley – Announced as the starter at 3rd base on Re-Opening Day and I am floating on air. Don’t pull me down! Let me float! Oh, crap, Austin Riley wires!

Austin Dean – Made the Cards’ team as a backup outfielder. He’s a Quad-A player, or in his case, the Dean of students.

Nomar Mazara – Hit the IL with undisclosed reasons. Mazara was called up originally in 2016 at the age of 21, was told the average age for player breakouts is 27, and is a strong proponent of confirmation bias.

Jake Bauers – Optioned to alternate training site. He’s had one of the longer leashes to prove himself, but I guess for Jake Bauers his time is up. *dramatic sting, commercial break* Next up, baseball! Finally!

 
  1. Fister Furbush says:
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    Grey Albright!

    My god it’s been far far far too long my hero.
    Well I had my yearly 12 team H2H points league.

    Would you please give me your brief and honest opinion on how I did? I need your gratification! (Or your stern verbal disciplining).

    C Kiner-Falefa. -_-
    1st Bellinger
    2nd Hiura
    3rd Escobar
    SS Story
    OF Judge
    OF Eloy
    OF Soler
    Util. Mostsuckass

    SP Giolito
    SP Glasnow
    SP Woodruff
    SP Keuchel
    SP Musgrove
    RP Jansen
    RP Rogers

    • AL KOHOLIC says:
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      Looks like sbs are missing and average could be low but I love the power

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Yes!

      I like the pitching a lot, looks stacked…Agree with AL, you have no speed, but in Points that’s fine, you might have a lot of all or nothing guys tho, which could hurt if they slump

  2. Al KOHOLIC says:
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    Wow we are going to play ball. Had two drafts the last two nights and had to use my phone app. One for espn and one for Fantrax. I don’t recommend drafting by phone .Very difficult to maneuver around and had to enlarge screen to hit the que or draft button then downsize to hit ok then scroll left or right etc. only big miscue was grabbing Justin Turner accidentally but actually managed pretty well.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Baseball is back!

      Yeah, try to avoid drafting by phone when possible

  3. galica says:
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    Grey!!!!

    Amazing report!

    a. So now only 2 IL slots taken on team A (Chappy and Odorizzi) and only 2 IL slots on team B (Odorizzi and Dozier).

    1. Team A – signed up Corbin Burnes (Chappy) and Trent Grisham (Odorizzi)

    2. Team B – signed up Dustin May (Dozier) and Trent Grisham (Odorizzi).

    How’d I do? I had initially drafted Grisham, but he’s looking really good and his only challenger is someone named Olivares or something. He’ll play even against LHP.

    b. Season hasn’t started yet and already goofed with Kim! He’s the closer and will probably be lockdown good! Oh, well.

    c. MLB quote of the day for July 23, 2020.

    ‘I threw so hard (after striking out Art Fletcher & Doc Crandall in the 9th inning of Game 1 of the 1912 World Series) I thought my arm would fly right off my body.’

    Howard Ellsworth ‘Smoky Joe’ Wood, aka Smoky Joe Wood. He was an emancipated man even before it was popular! He posed as a woman so that he could play on Bloomer Girl rosters and this quote by Ted Williams in 1950 about Smoky Joe Wood is crazy!

    ‘The pitcher I’m talking about was the immortal Smoky Joe Wood. A pitcher who can never be forgotten even though he did get his start posing as a girl.’

    The Smoky Joe name came from his blazing fastball. Really? Wouldn’t Blazing be enough?

    Walter Johnson also commented on his fastball.

    ‘Can I throw harder than Joe Wood? Listen, my friend, there’s no man alive can throw harder than Smoky Joe Wood!’

    He pitched with the Red Sox and Indians and hit some too, not really great as a hitter.

    His 162-game average as a pitcher.

    21-10, ERA 2.03, 28 GS 21 CG (only 75%, yawn!), 255 IP, 202 H, 88 R, 58 ER, 75 BB, 176 K, 146 ERA+, 2.26 FIP, 1.087 WHIP, 0.1 HR9 (!!), 2.35 K/BB.

    His best year was 1912 when he finished 5th in the MVP voting.

    34-5, 38 GS, 35 CG (92%!!), 10 shutouts!, 1 S (YES, that’s a save!), 344 IP, 267 H, 82 BB, 258 K, 177 ERA+, 2.25 FIP, 3.15 K/BB.

    Cheers,
    Ante

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Thanks!
      1. Cool
      2. Sounds fine, but May is now sent to minors so woof a little
      B. Ha, not a big deal I imagine

      C. Smoky Joe! Nice!

  4. bossmanjunior333 says:
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    14 team mixed league rotoscoped 6X6 (OBP,HR, R, RBI, SB, TB) & (ERA, WHIP, K, QS, SV+HLD, K/BB)

    1) Currently have 3 IL eligible players with only 2 spots available: Yordan Alvarez, AJ Puk, Keona Kela

    Hold all 3 (obviously holding Alvarez or drop for someone on the waiver? Sounds like Puk will be out at least 2 weeks and Kela could return sooner than later.

    Here are some waiver options for pitching:

    RP Ottavino, Stamen, Diekman, Crick, Roe

    SP Cueto, Montgomery, Voth, Peralta

    2) Hold Winker as my only bench bat or drop for: Carlson, O’Neil, Piscotti, Tapia, Cordero, Bruce, J Martinez

    Thanks!

    • bossmanjunior333 says:
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      Rotoscoped? Weird autocorrect

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Rotoscoped sounds painful

      1. You can drop Puk in a non-keeper

      Cueto, though prolly not tonight — Peralta otherwise

      2. Tapia at home, O’Neill

  5. Colin Robinson says:
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    Oh jeez you are not going to believe what happened at Dunkin Donuts today. Well it wasn’t actually to me but this woman that I met online at the DMV her sister’s husband’s boss he almost got in a bad car wreck. He was traveling on his way home from work and thinking to himself does Eric Thames even qualify at catcher? What about Luke Voit does he qualify or even need to take the 95 on his way home. He could probably get away with going the Merritt depending on what time of day he was exiting. Or what direction of travel he was inclined towards that evening. The Tappan Zee could have just as easily been traversed. My roommate stubbed his toe on the way out of the shower. He drafted Danny Jansen this year from the team playing in Pittsburgh, Maryland. That’s known as upstate for those residing in New York City or Yonkers or New Rochelle or White Plains or Hudson County or even parts of Kingsbridge. The nurse said that it wasn’t actually broken but you should stay off of it for a few weeks. It’s hard to stay off of it when you’re taking the subway and there is not too many places to sit. Not to mention the hikes to the park where the squirrels seem to be having quite the year. I mean successful would technically be an understatement. They have nuts on nuts on nuts on acorns on nuts on nuts galore. I haven’t seen they’re tails shaking so much since the feathers on the tails of birds were shaking so much. I mean it’s really something. From earlier. I am slightly embarrassed to admit that I now that I think about it I never even got to my question. When catchers are always bending down and throwing the baseball back to the pitcher and sometimes to the second basemen or short stop depending on who is covering second base which usually depends on the handedness of the batter unless of course the batter often hits the baseball “the other way” on the ground and sometimes the second basemen will open his mouth behind his glove to hide his mouth openness or closedness from the batter and the first basecoach and the third basecoach and all of the bench of the other team also. Here are my earlier thoughts as well to review. I was thinking about dropping my catchers when they go to San Francisco and maybe picking up catchers when they go to Denver Colorado. My aunt was supposed to be going on a trip to Denver Colorado but instead she ended up going to San Antonio Texas. It rained for two days straight which I’m told is rare for San Diego California because it doesn’t rain that often in Southern California and when it does it often floods. The flooding causes the soil to erode and the combination of eroded soil and freshwater rain end up flowing to the ocean instead of hydrating the soil because after all much of Southern California is desert and without the creation of the artificial Los Angeles River there would not be any water. The water in Los Angeles actually starts off as snow in the mountains and my aunt ended up not staying at the zoo as long as she would have otherwise liked to due to the rain but if she was being honest she would not have stayed long enough to feed the giraffes anyway due to her diarhhea. It seems that she may have been exposed to a stomach bug when she was aboard the greyhound bus that she traveled on on her way to San Antonio Texas. I often get sick when I travel by bus and I have heard that it is not uncommon for people to get explosive diarhhea for a few days after doing a lot of traveling. Susan who works at Ralph’s said she got sick after traveling by bus to Oklahoma, Kansas. It was not her first choice she and her boyfriend could not agree on which place to visit so Oklahoma Kansas ended up being their compromise. An agreement or a settlement of a dispute that is reached by each side making concessions. This is where we shall have to be for to you long.

    • Big Magoo

      Big Magoo says:
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      Colin Robinson = silicon born on

      Perhaps a better one? Virus racoon

      Fun with anagrams, OD edition

    • Hawk says:
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      Wall of Text hits YOU for 99 damage!

      • Philsfan76 says:
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        hahaha!

      • baseball is fun says:
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        I laughed way too hard at this, thank you!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Stop sucking my energy, Colin Robinson!

  6. Big Magoo

    Big Magoo says:
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    It’s nice to know that we still don’t know where Ryu and the other Jays pitchers will be pitching during home games, you know, on OPENING DAY. Thanks Manfred.

    • Hawk says:
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      The Canadian government and the Pennsylvania Dept. of Health are the ones making the decisions here. This isn’t on Manfred unless you think he should have upped the bribe to get it done.

      • Old School Brother says:
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        Thanks Obama

      • Dave D says:
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        Pennsylvania Public Health Director Levine doesn’t seem to be a big enough baseball fan unfortunately.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Haha, yup! Whee!

  7. Don Juan says:
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    Nick Burdi will get first crack at saves in Pitt and he might run with the job. Dude is nasTy.

    • NUX says:
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      With you everything here except that Crick should get first Save opp.

      And promptly blow it. Which hopefully gives us Burdi rest of the way

    • NUX says:
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      With you *on* everything here

    • SheaSeraSera says:
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      Crick has been bad, would you drop him for Burdi at this point?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I’d hold both if I were desperate but watch Kela return after five days, and get 1st save

  8. Harley Earl says:
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    Question, do you think Aquino gets the call at some point this summer or have the Reds seen something that has derailed him into nothing more than a trivia question for future generations? I’m leaning towards the latter. I don’t know what pitch it is that he can’t hit, but apparently there’s one that he’s getting exploited with. At least that’s my guess.

    Also, Austin Riley hit two bombs as well yesterday.

    See? No need to panic. Dude is solid and will play everyday. Matt Adams is a hasbeen wannabe.

    • Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey says:
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      as a STL fan ain’t you happy they finally sliced off that wart shaped cecil contract! next up fowler, right.

      • Harley Earl says:
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        Yes!!! and Fowler is next !!!

        Can you tell I can’t stand Mozeliak????

    • JDB says:
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      I wish I had listened to you and not some of the other opinions that were flying around yesterday. I dropped Riley for Kyle Lewis after seeing that Freeman is basically back and the Adams news…not a terrible swap, but the chances of me getting Riley back after he clears waivers are not good. Ug….

      • Harley Earl says:
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        Kyle Lewis is not a bad swap at all. Yeah, I’m sure you’d rather have Riley now that it’s completely clear. I’ve just followed Riley’s career very closely and couldn’t buy into all the nonsense that he wasn’t going to get to play, especially over an old fatass fart like Matt Adams.

        Some things we think really look ridiculous in hindsight. Thankfully, I didn’t buy into that thought process.

        Maybe you can get Riley back. I doubt it. But at least you did get Lewis. Not that bad really.

    • NUX says:
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      I def would not be waiting around on Aquino at this point. He could at some point get the call, but there are so many damn options in Cincy that he seems to be buried. You can pick him back up later if needed. There are likely better ways to use his roster spot right now though

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Agree with Nux

      • Harley Earl says:
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        Yeah, I dumped Aquino. It was a nice run. But I’m afraid he’s nothing more than the answer to a trivia question now.

  9. Big Magoo

    Big Magoo says:
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    Not to jinx it, but the only key players who are iffy for my one team (jeebus) at this time are Willie Calhoun and Odorizzi, and they should be back soon. Could be enough to take on Rudy’s core of Neris, Urquidy, and Hosmer early on… or is it? Until the next shoe drops…

    • The Great Knoche says:
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      Lost Stroman and Odorizzi on the NFBC online championship team I just drafted. Went from having a solid rotation to putting in a big FAAB bid on Wade Miley.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I was fine until Stroman, which is relatively unscathed

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        Well, I have Odorizzi and Calhoun too, but I don’t even think they’re really injured, just behind others in camp

      • Will says:
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        I’ve taken a beating so far – Puig, Polanco, H Dozier, Buxton, Hamels and Stroman – all before the season has even started! I’ve resorted to picking up warm bodies to plug roster holes at this point.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Need to clear your roster

  10. Malicious Phenoms says:
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    Happy 2020 Baseball Opening Day! Let’s Go!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Yes!

  11. Better Call Limehouse says:
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    tell rudy to add fatt adams to hittertron’s numbers, not in there yet. how am i supposed to jump back and forth on bruce vs fatt adams on a daily basis (except when they are against lefties, neither will play on those days) without the help of that thing. if riley keeps double bombing though he might just nab that fatt adams spot anyway (doubt they move out camargo vs righties from the def upgrade)

    • Better Call Limehouse says:
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      and yr doing that same thing as rotoworld with ryu representing TOR as a team with the news. they’ll leave a manager or well known player name for stuff that isn’t about that player, but the entire org. sometimes even the owner, albeit that’s rarer.

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        Ryu seemed natural rep since he’s only real change if they go to hitters or pitchers park

        • Better Call Limehouse says:
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          that’s certainly true, like rudy reported few days/week ago about the likely to be used BUF minor stadium being VERY hitter friendly. love how the players are coming out whining about which stadium they WANT to play in as opposed to others, as if them saying that carries any weight at all. when a few dozen spoiled millionaires butt heads with the kind of life they never had to have lived (or not in a while for some), being told what/when/how they’ll be playing.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Told, thanks!

  12. Joe Beísbol says:
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    Is Dozier a stash or a drop? I had him slotted at Util in a non keeper. Tanaka and Urquidy already take up my IL slots. Should I drop one of them to stash Dozier on the IL or just drop Dozier?

    • NUX says:
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      I’d drop Tanaka and keep Hunter Dozier. Though maybe you can list some other SPs that are in the waiver pool. Will make it easier to decide if you can find a Tanaka like arm when you need to hit the wire for an SP

      • Joe Beisbol says:
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        Canning and Desclafani are the most enticing FA SPs. Would you roster either of them over Tanaka?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Agree with Nux

      I’d try Desclafani

  13. Dave D says:
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    Opening Day!!! Amazing! What a relief from 24/7 COVID stuff it will be. Im excited even though ai own Tom Murphy on all three of my teams. Here’s to hoping Daulton Varsho is on the 30-man to pinch hit daily.

    3 1/2 months after spring training ended so abruptly and here we are… hurray!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Yes, finally! I have Murphy everywhere too, but oh well, at least it’s just a catcher

  14. RobMac says:
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    11 team Roto standard categories, what order do you put these guys:

    Stripling
    Houser
    Garrett Richards

    Thanks for all you do!

    • NUX says:
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      Grey will prob point you to the rankings, where Strip is buried, prob because of role uncertainty and the Doyers are likely to mess with him and most of that rotation outside of Walker B.

      Houser is above Richards in Grey’s ranks by about 10 SPs. But I like Richards over Houser I think. They are close. Reason I’m leaning Richards is bc of the fact that he is in a walk year and the Padres should push him if he is on a roll, so they can get everything they can out of him. Though I will admit that I also had read that they are planning to be careful with turns through the order for SPs.

    • The Great Knoche says:
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      If he stays healthy it’s Richards for me and it is not close.

    • Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo says:
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      i’m guessing you ranked them appropriately for right now, since stripling has a rotation spot currently. also they all pitch on different days so you could do all 3.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Houser, Stripling

  15. lg baseball says:
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    Hi Grey! We finally made it to opening day! Great write up.

    My 10 team league recently added some bench spots to accommodate for the craziness. I don’t have any real needs but looking for a bench spot for either an upside dart throw or someone in a good spot to fill up the stat sheet. As you can see our wire is pretty strong.

    Who are you top 2 from either list?

    Bats:
    Lewis, Happ, Grisham, Hays, McCutchen, Shogo, Senzel, Kingsley, C. Walker, Calhoun, Myers, Arraez, E. White

    Arms:
    Houser, Robbie Ray, Hendricks, Cease, A. Bradley, Canning

    Thanks!
    LG

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      We made it!

      Kingsley? You mean Kingery? Him and Calhoun

      Houser, Hendricks

      • lg baseball says:
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        Thanks! Yes Kingery!

  16. JakeTPE says:
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    Altoon-up! Ha!

    Love that one, Grey!

    Happy Opening Day, Razzball! We made it!