Jeff McNeil sounds Irish, but, to me, he’s Polish’d. He’s old, for sure — or fer sure, if you’re a millennial — and seems to have received a bad rep because he’s older. As a Cougar Hunter, I can attest that, like wine and women who attend bingo competitions at churches, prospects aren’t done at the age of 26. Sure, we’d prefer players hitting 20 homers at the age of 19 like Sexy Dr. Pepper or doing the breakdancing worm on top of their N’s like Acuña, but all prospects are not the same. You have to subtract at least two years from McNeil’s age just because he’s on the Mets and they spent that time trying to figure out how to sell tickets to a Jose Reyes/David Wright reunion on the left side of the diamond. The Reyes/Wright reunion is like if ABC reunited a sitcom and everyone loved the super sweet dad, who they thought was dead, let’s call him David Goodman, but reunited him with a piece of garbage, let’s call him Jose Roseanne. The Wright part is fine, there’s fond memories, but the Reyes’ part they can leave in the dumpster. So, McNeil took longer to tap his power, so what? He can still have four to six years of productivity, because he looks ready to go now. I’m pumped for him in 2019, but this is about this year, and I’d absolutely grab him. Dude’s got so much Polish about to call him Jeff McNeilski. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Kurt Suzuki – As my rap alter ego, B. Fire, would say, “You got a side chick, and, when you call someone out, you’re a ‘natch’er! Well, I got a Suzuki Sidekick and Kurt’s my catcher.”
Jay Bruce – I understand owning lots of Mets bats gives you the willies like you’re showering in San Quentin, but Bruce is the type to get crazy hot for two weeks, and how much time is left in the season? Hey, you’re good at math.
Ryan O’Hearn – Wouldn’t go as far to call him Ryan O’Hearnski, but if I see more polish, I will raise my enthusiasm level, that’s my Pledge to you. So, you can look forward to smelling lemony fresh.
Ji-Man Choi – One doesn’t drop a Ji-Man, one breaks a Ji-Man, unless you drop Ji-Man like he’s hot, then I guess you could also break Ji-Man.
Jonathan Villar – I just had a flash forward and I saw myself drafting Villar next year in every league. I’m also dating Kate, and I’m Jack.
Adalberto Mondesi – Oh em gee, I wanna own so many middle infielders next year, what could go wrong? *wavy lines* Hey, it’s 2010 and I’m no longer married and I feel so free! Who’s that on my fantasy team? Josh Rutledge? NOOOOOOOOO!!!* I prefer flash forwards, than flashbacks.
Amed Rosario – Okay, need to get something out of the way. The Mets are a top 10 offense in the 2nd half, and about the same as the Yankees. Yankees are, of course, minus Aaron Judge. Though, the Mets are minus Adrian Gonzalez, so Brooklyn Nets-Nets. Speaking of which (awkward segura alert!), go join a fantasy basketball league, before it’s too late.
Kevin Kiermaier – He’s in the top 5 on our 7-day Player Rater. By the by, if you were to just own the top 10 guys on the 7-day Player Rater each week, you’d do all right for yourself, but especially right now in your H2H playoffs.
Scott Schebler – Quick housekeeping note: Schebler is owned in 15% of ESPN leagues (which is what I use for this post; under 50% and you can be included), but in our RCL leagues, Schebler is owned (you can see his ownership on any of our tools) in 64% of leagues. Bully for youse.
Hunter Renfroe – I still can’t stop listening to the new Travis Scott album; it’s the best album of the year; don’t @ me; semi-colons are fun. Why bring up now? Like any of these blurbs are related! I keed (sorta). I bring it up now because my favorite song on the album is 5% Tint, which sounds like it is rhyming Renfroe over and over again in the chorus. If you know the song, you’ll know what I mean.
Ramon Laureano – The A’s are getting production from some unexpected places, like Edwin Jackson — dubya tee eff?! — but Laureano? This might not be unexpected as much as it’s what he should be doing in the majors. Talk about a guy who could be completely off radars next year, and be huge. In 64 games in Triple-A, he had 14 HRs, 11 SBs and hit .297; now has 5/5/.293 in 33 games. Yo, I’m sorry, you 20/20 guy next year with room for more?
David Dahl – He’s owned in 10% of leagues. That doesn’t make any goddamn sense even if you only owned him when he was in Coors, because he was just in Coors and I was looking at this shizz yesterday. Moving on before I get a tumor on my ulcer.
Jose Alvarado – Dateline’s Keith Morrison walks along a beach. A young boy runs into frame and picks up a paddle ball, Keith smiles at him, then turns to the camera, “In this bucolic beachfront town of Tampa Bay, there’s a Hooter’s for every fifteen citizens. No one ever expected a mystery as puzzling as the one that befell Sergio Romo. He went missing four week ago, and not one peep from his teammates or the beat reporters covering the team. Was it murder, or something more sinister like a contract negotiation ploy. Or did the Rays’ manager just decide instead to go to Alvarado for saves. All of this, and later this evening, a cat burglar who steals cats dressed as a cat from the Broadway show, Cats.”
Brad Ziegler – This is a little off-the-beaten path pick up — That sounds like an Arizona-located diner where they make omelettes on a pathway heated by the sun, “Off-the-beaten path… *rings bell* …pick up!” No idea who the Diamondbacks go to for saves with Hirano blowing his 2nd ever chance. Maybe they return to Hirano, maybe Bradley, maybe Ziegler…*rings bell* …pick up!
Trevor Hildenberger – Speaking of food (can you tell I’m in week two of this ridiculous Whole30 diet I’m doing?), do they serve Hildenburgers on blimps? “Can I get you anything else before we accidentally crash into electrical wires?” Any hoo! SAGNOF on the Twins’ tip.
Kris Bryant – Mentioned this 5,000 times before, but, for the 5,001st time, this not a Sell. This is a drop. As I told you to drop Correa last week, Bryant’s time has come. If your league is deep and you have no choices, then I’d ride the weak-sauce — Ta-bleh-sco? In deeper leagues, where there’s a ton of options on waivers, let’s just say this, on our 30-day Player Rater, Villar is a top ten guy and owned in less than 50% of leagues. Bryant is ranked around 500th overall and owned in 100% of leagues. Maybe Bryant catches fire, but that’s only good if he stops, drops and rolls away from you.
Madison Bumgarner – On our Player Rater, he’s ranked around 300 overall. Dot dot dot. On the year! I know, he missed some time, but I just popped a zit in my mirror and the pus spelled out, “Bumgarner is gros (sic).”