The Astros offense had some fun with the Orioles pitching staff Friday and Saturday night, collecting a total of 32 hits and scoring 27 runs. Solar plexus! Now those are some rockets that would make NASA proud. George Springer lead the way going 7-for-9, with 2 home runs (24), 6 runs and 4 RBI. Jose Altuve was 5-for-10 with a home run (20), Evan Gattis was 5-for-9 with a homer (19) and a stolen base, and rookie Teoscar Hernandez was 3-for-6 with 4 runs, a homer (2) and 3 RBI. Well, I guess I know one team that prefers the sticky swampiness of the Baltimore humidity in the air. Even with all Houston’s stars doing their part it was the rookie phenom, Alex Bregman, who really impressed me, going 6-for-11, with four runs, his third home run and five RBI. Oh, hello there. What did you say your name was again? Alex slashed .306/.406/.580 with 20 homers and 7 steals in 80 games at AAA, but struggled to start his MLB career a miserable 2-for-38. But the top-prospect has come on strong of late batting .317 with 3 homers, 13 runs, and 10 RBI over the past two weeks. He extended his hitting streak to five games Saturday night, and has hit safely in 13 of his last 14 contests. The best part? While all your real life non-internet friends are off drafting their fantasy football teams, Alex Bregman sits on the waiver wire available in over 70% of leagues. I don’t want to brag, man, but it sounds like most of you gave up on Bregman too soon and he’s just now getting going. Grey told you to BUY this week and I’d grab Bregman everywhere he’s available for some sweet Houston upside in an even sweeter Houston line up. Don’t make me Breg, man! This kid’s gonna be a star! Ha-cha-cha!
Here’s what else I saw Friday and Saturday in fantasy baseball:
Enrique Burgos – 1.0 IP, 0 ER, BB, 2 K, SV (1). Did you know there are two Enrique Burgos’ in baseball? The other is on the Brewers. Now you know! I really hope they’re the best of friends. Regardless, with Jake Barrett struggling, Burgos could very well be the new closer in Arizona and if you are as desperate for saves as I am for praise I’d grab him on the chance he holds onto the gig.
Jean Segura – 5-for-6, run, 2 RBI, 3 SB (27). But you’ll have to run much faster than that if you ever want any chance of catching Usain Bolt!
Robbie Ray – 7.0 IP, 1 hit, ER, BB, 13 K, W. Sweet streaming strikeouts, batman! Robbie has always been a K guy, he’s got a 174/50 K/BB ratio in 140 IP, but because of his 4.31 ERA and 1.41 WHIP I have maintained my distance. Dude has been on fire his past three starts though, holding a 0.95 ERA, 0.79 WHIP and two wins over 19 innings. Is it time for Robbie’s breakout? I dunno! Pick him up and stay tuned to find out next week as he takes on the Atlanta Braves!
Mike Fiers – 7.0 IP, 5 hits, ER, BB, 7 K, W. Everything’s coming up Houston! If you started Fiers in Baltimore you deserved this start. Well, you won’t get Mike Fiers’ numbers unless you start Michael [expletive deleted] Fiers! But well on you! You did it!
Ryan Schimpf – 4-for-5, 3 runs, HR (15), 5 RBI on Friday. Sure, the .229 batting average is real bleh, but he leads the team in slugging percentage (.550) and 12 homers in 50 games is nothing to sneeze at! Extrapolate that, that’s…calculating…calculating…calculating…1400 home runs! Wait that looks wrong. Forget the math, dude is a 30 home run hitter, folks!
Gary Sanchez – 5-for-8, HR (6), SB (1). What would New York be without a Sanchize, right? Well, it wouldn’t be much of a Big Apple at all. Hardly a crab apple even. Gary is slashing an insane .379/.419/.776 in 15 games, with 6 homers, including four in the past four days. Yes, you should own him. How is this guy not the lede? Grey told you to BUY and I really can’t understand why he’s not owned all over, he’s a Yankee even. People love the Yankees! Is it his eligibility that’s keeping you from grabbing him, because he should have that real soon! Pick him up or I am just going to snap.
Luis Cessa – 6.0 IP, 3 hits, 0 ER, BB, 5 K, W. The Angels are really not good at hitting baseballs right now.
David Dahl – 3-for-7, HR (4) and SB (1) as he led off. Double Deez filled in for Charlie Blackmon leading off for the Rox and responded with a homer and a steal. He’s hitting .337 with four homers and calls Coors his home. *Pro Tip* That will help your fantasy team!
Aroldis Chapman – 0.1 IP. 2 hits ER, BS. When your $12 million closer needs a “couple days off” because he’s tired.
Brian Dozier – 2-for-4, HR (28), SB (9) on Friday. In Minnesota, they serve their slam & legs with a side of You Betcha! and a Don’tcha know!
Kendall Graveman – 9.0 IP, 2 hits, 0 ER, 5 K, W. The complete game shutout. That’s how you do it, KG. Still the 4.09 ERA and 1.31 WHIP warn me to tread carefully. Pick him up if you hate yourself.
Adrian Beltre – 4-for-5, 2 HR (21). For whatever reason, if I can see Carlos Gomez getting along with anyone in that Rangers club house it’d be grumpy old Beltre. Just don’t touch his head!
Cole Hamels – 7.1 IP, 3 hits, ER, 2 BB, 10 K. Now Cole Hamels on the other hand, is going to HATE Carlos Gomez. I just have a feeling.
Evan Longoria – 2-for-3, HR (28), 2 RBI on Saturday. Talk about a quiet 28 homer season, I feel like Longo hasn’t gotten enough credit for what is likely his best offensive season in, well, in ever, he’s slashing .291/.343/.549 with 75 RBI and 65 runs, and those counting stats could be even higher if his team didn’t suck so bad.
Tim Adleman – 5.0 IP, 5 hits, 0 ER, 2 BB, 3 K, W. On the one hand, this was an impressive start for the 28-year old, on the other hand, it was the Rays, who I just mentioned “suck so bad.” He gets the Rangers next week and I might stream if I was feeling extra confident. Which is rare.
Brandon Finnegan – 7.0 IP, hit, 0 ER, 2 BB, 8 K, W. Finnegan’s Wake? More like Finnegan’s Woke. James Joyce would be so proud.
Trevor Bauer – 8.0 IP, 5 hits, 2 ER, 2 BB, 13 K. Oh boy, I am such a sucker for Trevor Bauer and he continues to burn me. Those strikeouts though! Still any stellar Bauer start presents an opportunity for me to share his rap video, which is always a treat. If he can throw as much flame as he spits he should be a great option next week versus the A’s.
Francisco Liriano – 6.0 IP, 4 hits 0 ER, 2 BB, 7 K. His best start as a Blue Jay and he gets the Twins next week. Good enough reason to pick him up or nah?
Fernando Rodney – 2.0 IP, 2 SV (23). Rodney was your Miami closer this weekend but with A.J. Ramos returning from the DL that stint could be very short-lived. Still, we will always have this weekend together, Fernando.
David Phelps – 6.0 IP, 2 hits, 0 ER, 2 BB, 9 K, W. This was the week of the breakouts for sub-par to below average young pitchers. But will they remain sub-par and below average? We’ll have to wait until next week to find out! Phelps has been solid on the strikeout-front all year long, and he’s lowered his ERA to 2.28 since joining the starting rotation. He’s got a nice start versus San Diego next week and I’d absolutely stream him if he’s available.
Cesar Hernandez – 3-for-4, HR (4) on Saturday. A BUY. He’s hitting .438 with a homer and a steal in the past week. Go ahead and hail him. You too, Brutus!
Jedd Gyorko – 2-for-5, HR (19), 2 RBI on Friday. The Jerk Store called…and they are sick of all the prank calls, you guys. I know Jedd has burned us all in the past, but he’s with the Cardinals now, and prank calls are a federal offense, so let’s get serious. Four homers in the past two weeks, this is not a prank!
Yoenis Cespedes – 3-for-5, 2 HR (24) on Saturday. It’s a Cespedes for the rest of us! It’s a celebration! Gather around the Pole and let Yoenis demonstrate his great feats of strength! Hitting dingers!
Rick Porcello – 7.0 IP, 4 hits, ER, 2 BB, 8 K, 17th win. If you told me Porch Hello would lead the Red Sox in wins in September and that a knuckleballer would be second I would have looked deep into your eyes and told you that “I want to believe.” Then I would keep asking you questions about my sister until you got seriously creeped out and left. Then Scully and I would go interview John Farrell to make sure the smoking man wasn’t behind this.
Justin Upton – 2-for-4 on Saturday. All he needed was a few days off. If only he hadn’t taken a few months off I might not be in last place.
David Ortiz – 5-for-7, 2 HR (29), 3 RBI. He is slashing .321/.413/.637 with 95 RBI and leads the league with 68 extra base hits. He’s a top 20 player, folks. I’m definitely drafting him next year! What–he’s what? Retiring? Why!? Don’t leave me David. I neeeeed you!
Ender Inciarte – 4-for-9, HR (3), 4 RBI. This is Ender’s Game and we’re all just alien Buggers living in this crazy war-torn universe, preparing for the next Invasion against the Fleet. Just ignore that the book/movie is subliminally telling you to hate the gays and eat at Chic-fil-a. Enciarte must be a “Third.” But don’t take my word for it, Grey told you to BUY him and Ender’s batting over .300 in the past two weeks with 2 homers, 12 runs and 8 RBI. He’s just about the hottest little space potato at command school, grab him if you’ve still got a war to win!
Thanks for reading! Questions? Problems? Complaints to management? Advice, small gifts or large bribes? Please leave it in the comments below. Join us next Saturday for another Friday recap as fantasy baseball continues next week, all week long!
