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For once, the Mets’ doctors were used for good instead of evil. They gave Omar Narvaez day-to-day status and that knocked him out for nine weeks. Hey, lucky they didn’t say he was healthy! That might’ve knocked him out for the rest of his career. Here’s a prayer for everyone who the Mets’ doctors give a clean bill of health to. May their memory be a blessing. With this devastating news for Narvaez, I am very heartbrok–Wait a second! That means they’re calling up Francisco Alvarez! Here’s what I’ve said previously, “I’ve heard Francisco Alvarez compared to Wilson Ramos. A) Wilson Ramos had some great years. Okay, one or two. B) Think that’s selling Francisco Alvarez’s bat short. C) There’s no C. If being honest, I was surprised to see Alvarez was so squat, and I don’t mean just behind home plate. He’s a tiny guy, said by someone who is shorter than Francisco Alvarez. Okay, fine, he’s a “tiny guy” by baseball standards. His power does seem completely legit. He looks like a little square mountain that moves around like a Roomba. A very slow Roomba. A Roomba that starts in the living room, and gets to the kitchen three months later. Prospect Itch said, “A rare backstop in that Francisco Alvarez features plus athleticism and foot-speed, Alvarez stands alone atop minor league catcher mountain after Adley Rutschman joined the Orioles. Alvarez generates easy loft from a strong natural uppercut. Also, I’d like to uppercut Grey.” And that’s me quoting me quoting Itch! Our Prospectonator has the projections for every rookie. Before they’re even called up. It’s magic! That magic has Alvarez down for 21/3/.225. That feels low on the average, but about right on the power. If he were to go 21/.240, then he’s a top 10 catcher. Grab him everywhere you need a catcher. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Psyche! Before we get into the post, just wanted to mention what you’re already thinking. Is this Razzball? So slick. So beautiful. So fresh. So clean. Yeah, we got a little facelift. Hey, if it’s good enough for Meg Ryan, it’s good enough for us! We were hoping the site redesign would be done by Opening Day, but, hey, it’s still before Opening Day, if you drafted Fernando Tatis Jr., right? On Razzball dot com, you’ll be able to find all the sports we cover, and soon Baseball will have its own landing page like the other sports have. Anyway II, the roundup:

Chris Sale – 5 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 11.25. Three earned against that Tigers’ lineup? Get the Salt Bae to season him up, because he’s absolutely cooked. *opening up a box from Plated* Hey, there’s no recipe in here for Chris Sale. Oh, I see! He’s already cooked. Gotcha. These prepared elements of these meals always confuse me!

Rafael Devers – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 2nd homer. Looks like he’s not going to phone in the next 10 years of his contract. Interesting.

Adam Duvall – 1-for-3, 3 RBIs and his 3rd homer. “Okay, you’re on!” That’s Adam Duvall on the phone with Jorge Soler as they plan to battle it out to see who can be the most random old outfielder to be valuable.

Jake Rogers – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 2nd homer. That’s what happens when you get one in Mr. Rogers’ neighborhood.

Kevin Gausman – 6 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 0.00. I would like a starter with a zero ERA. Can I have one of those please, Fantasy Baseball Overlord? “No.” Okay, then.

Bobby Witt Jr. – 2-for-5 and his 1st homer. This is neither here nor there on whether I like him — I do, just not for his price this year — but he should not be hitting leadoff. He shouldn’t be hitting leadoff in a lineup of nine Bobby Witt Jr.’s.

Vladimir Guerrero Jr. – 3-for-5, 2 runs and his 2nd homer, and 2nd homer in as many games. This ain’t edible dough, this is Cake Batter and he’s just heating up!

Cavan Biggio – 1-for-4 and his 1st homer. He’s really erased any memory of his father, i.e., I no longer think of Craig Biggio as being any good. All Biggios are bad now.

Adam Cimber – 1 IP, 0 ER, 0.00 ERA, and his 1st save. Guess what y’all! We got a new fantasy baseball tool! The Relievonator! This tool should help you identify usage, which is a large part in saves speculation. Tracks all RP game logs back 14 days; color-coded decisions; inning pitcher started; number of pitches thrown; previous day pitches thrown and inning start; roster percentage; filterable and sortable. I’ll talk about it again in the Buy/Sell this afternoon. Go play with it for now.

Josiah Gray – 6 IP, 1 ER, 9 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 4.91 vs. Kyle Freeland – 6 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 0.00. This early Cy Young matchup in Coors did not disappoint! Okay, hold on…*pushes finger to earbud*…hearing now that there’s no Cy Young candidates in March and first week of April. Hmm, that’s disappointing. I would use the Streamonator for both of these guys.

Pierce Johnson – 1 IP, 0 ER, 2 Ks, ERA at 3.00 and his 2nd save, as he moves into the clearcut lead for the Rockies’ closer job, and possibly the person who inspired John Mayer’s My Body Is A Wonderland. I personally wouldn’t Pierce Johnson, but I would Pierce Johnson in fantasy.

Dustin May – 6 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 0.69. A sixty-nine ERA! Hey now! *sees Dustin May who’s nicknamed The Giant Human Carrot* Oh, yeah, that’ll cool the libido.

Merrill Kelly – 5 2/3 IP, 4 ER, 10 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 3.86. My safe pitchers are like putting on a life vest filled with rocks.

Collin McHugh – Hit the IL with shoulder inflammation. More like Collout! Got him! Wait, I’m hearing I did not in fact get him.

Orlando Arcia – 3-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 2nd homer. That’s supposed to be Vaughn Grissom’s! Give me those morsels of fantasy goodness!

Michael Harris II – Left the game with back tightness. Ah, yes, carrying the weight of one of my preseason schmohawk posts.

Spencer Strider – 5 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 2.45. With 85% of his stuff, he’s still one of the best pitchers in baseball, and he did look at about 85%. Usually dancing around 98 to 99 MPH, he sat 95 and 96. His change usually at 89 MPH sat 84. I’m not yelling fire in the theater of Razzball yet, but I’m concerned.

Joe Musgrove – Threw 4 1/3 IP in the minors, which should put him on pace to return next week, but he has no timetable. He just balances his alarm clock on a pillow next to his head.

Blake Snell – 3 2/3 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 7.88. He’s some kind of wizard at getting into the 4th inning in just about 100 pitches. A wizard of inefficiency. Like a ladder where the rungs are made of banana peels. Don’t worry, though, he’ll be great from August 1st on and next year people will draft him again like he’s not awful every first three months of the season.

Matt Carpenter – 1-for-3, 3 RBIs and his 1st homer. Carpenter nailed that one! *pulls on door* Hmm, maybe I shouldn’t have nailed it shut.

Jake Cronenworth – 1-for-2, 3 runs and his 1st homer. Not saying he’s the best hitter in the world, or even on the Padres, but it takes such marbles to put Trent Grisham, a terrible hitter, at leadoff, and Cronenworth at five. Padres lost by one run, and Cronenworth’s two walks could’ve been the difference. But who am I to say, a mere fantasy baseball ‘pert?

Mike Yastrzemski – 1-for-6, 2 RBIs and his 2nd homer. Carl’s Jr. Jr. with his sloppy second!

Wilmer Flores – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 1st homer. “Wilmer!” screamed like Fred Flinstone.

Blake Sabol – 3-for-6, 2 runs and his 1st homer. Welp, my catcher scab was itching and I ain’t got time for bird sex or to wait one literal week to see if my draft picks are any good.

Michael Conforto – 3-for-4, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and his 2nd homer. I give him until 15 homers where he has some random injury that knocks him out for two months. Let’s see together if it happens. Here, hold my hand. Metaphorically! Let go!

J.D. Davis – 3-for-6, 2 runs, 5 RBIs and his 2nd homer, and 2nd in as many games. Hot schmotato alert! He won’t be in this afternoon’s Buy column, which is available right now on Patreon, because he’s here right now. Also, don’t ever bet against the Giants every other year. Or maybe that’s bet on them.

Lance Lynn – 4 1/3 IP, 8 ER, ERA at 9.00. Damn, this should’ve been a slam dunk start for him at home vs. the Giants. Trying not to panic. Does the pitch clock leave time for Lance Lynn to crotch-grab and curse into the sky? Because he needs that to be successful. Give him time to jangle the bits!