I have no doubt James Joyce would be proud to be mentioned in a Razzball opening, even before his great great nephew Matt Joyce is for this season. What, I shouldn’t assume they’re related? What, I’m showing cultural appropriation? And misogyny? And assuming gender roles that are antiquated according to our day and time?!?! Wow, it really has been a while since I wrote on the Razz. Did we move from wordpress to tumblr? I guess at this point I should reference the book I referenced in the title but I mean, it took James 19 years to actually finish the thing, I ain’t reading that. If you don’t wanna finish it in a reasonable amount of time, I don’t wanna read it. Time is money and all that…speaking of, cue the awkward segue! Let’s talk Brandon Finnegan. When the Cueto trade dropped and the collective dust settled, Finnegan along with John Lamb and Cody Reed were sent to the Reds for some of Cueto’s worst career numbers. Fair trade! But more to the point, B-Fin as I lovingly call him – and will also lovingly call him when he’s straight beefin’ against the Phillies – was considered the prize of said trade and methinks we get to see a glimpse of the why. Other than general expected improvement across the board from the young Phillies team, Brandon shouldn’t be overly matched in his season debut. Though I’d steer clear in cash, Finnegan makes a fine upside K tourney play and at $6,300, he leaves you with plenty of cash to spend up elsewhere, weather permitting (sighs). So to wrap up the opening, don’t read Finnegans Wake, tumblr is full of social justice warriors, and Brandon should have a good day. Use the information that helps you best…and with that we’re off. So let’s get to my Skyline Chili hot takes for this Wednesday DK slate (if Skyline Chili is even hot, I honestly don’t know; it sounds gross)…
New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 25 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.
Stephen Strasburg, SP: $11,200 – Duh with a capital DERP. Good pitcher, bad hitters, cash game lock…weather permitting (more sighs). Let’s move on…
Kenta Maeda, SP: $9,200 – Kenta is a quandary at this point. A quandary, I tell you! I’m not confident in him for cash games because of lack of track record but I’m kinda annoyed that he’s over 9K without said track record for a tourney play. This is a play where I’ll read the twitter tea leaves and decide from there. Overall, I like the matchup coupled with his offerings being unknown to MLB at this time and will probably play him in both.
Michael Pineda, SP: $9,100 – I ain’t dipping very low today for pitching, I know, but when you notice Bud Norris is a choice, you soon realize paying up makes sense. I’m a firm believer in Pineda’s skillset and what his xFIP is selling so seeing the Astros K 10 times yesterday was a bit of a confidence booster to believe he won’t be Michael Pinata today.
Dioner Navarro, C: $2,800 – Here’s a simple flowchart for your Wednesday teams: Is the lump of human flesh starting behind the plate for ‘x’ team and cheaper than 3K? YES: start said catcher. NO: is there another lump of human flesh starting behind the plate for ‘x’ team and cheaper than 3K? YES: start said catcher.
Byung Ho Park, 1B: $4,100 – I just googled ‘Is Chris Davis Good?’ and it came back with the top two links not saying ‘good’ in the content, but ‘best’ so I think I won’t write that blurb. Instead, let’s see how many people we can get to write a ‘Hit one out of the Park, Byung Ho’ sign. It’ll be the next crying Jordan meme, I promise. While we’re here, might as well note that Pedro Alvarez is usually terrible until the summer months but in Camden Yards, I’ll pay his $3,700 price tag if I need to save some scratch.
Daniel Murphy, 2B: $4,000 – Not like it should be any surprise, but stacking Nats is a good way to go with Norris on the mound. If Bud were a movie, he’d get a lower Rotten Tomatoes score than Basic Instinct 2. Yes, there was a second one. Yes, it came out about 15 years too late. No, you can’t see Sharon Stone’s woo-haa. My god, the internet exists, just go look it up if you’re that interested. In either case, throw your Nats bats out and play ball. Looking at you, Bryce Harper and Michael Taylor.
Danny Valencia, 3B/OF: $3,400 – If you can’t afford Manny Machado or Miguel Sano, I’d look to V for Valencia. The White Sox have a poop ton of lefties but they’re kind of like Michael Keaton from Multiplicity. We’ve already seen a good clone in Jose Quintana on Tuesday, but we’re now on our third clone in Carlos Rodon. I mean, he’s no clone #4 like John Danks but we aren’t making any improvements at this stage. Count me in.
Jed Lowrie, 3B/SS: $3,300 – I’m admittedly not crazy about Carlos in 2016. With that said, an OAK stack makes enough sense to me to suggest two of their hitters at least so stay tuned in to who’s in the LU for the Athletics and feel free to tourney it up a bit with me today. With that said, let’s just assume I mentioned Mark Canha here while we’re at it.
Gregory Polanco, OF: $4,400 – It’s not the park to take advantage of Mike Leake’s disadvantage with lefties, but Polanco has started the year locked in and I’m locked into the love that Grey showered on him in his 2016 Fantasy Baseball rankings.
John Jaso, OF: $3,200 – Boring cash game play on said lefty problems of Leake. I’ll stop suggesting it when Jaso is over 4K, not hitting leadoff, or cuts his dreads.
Scott Schebler, OF: $3,000 – From cash game to smash game. If Adam Duvall is in, consider him a reasonable call here as well, but I’m all about a chance at cheap pop in the OF and Aaron Nola’s numbers against lefties last year look shaky when you scratch and sniff below the surface. A Cincy stack of lefty handed mollywhoppers? Which is a term I strongly suggest you don’t google because of urban dictionary and actually refers to power bats like Joey Votto and Jay Bruce? I’m having a hard time not saying everything like it’s a question now? But I think this is a great call and you should too?
I’m Only Happy When It Rains
According to my weather reports *walks outside, licks pointing finger, sticks in air* there’s a few weather concerns to be, uh, concerned with today. If you’re playing the early slate, beware of potential wetness in the CLEvsBOS game. For your late games, be aware of the Doppler in Pittsburgh and Atlanta as rain looks to be coming late to the PITvsSTL and ATLvsWAS games. If either has rain creep in earlier than expected and looks persistent, keep in mind they’re intradivision games and can easily be made up at another time. The big, ugly weather elephant in the room is CINvsPHI as the wetness seems to be persistent all day at this time but keep yourself abreast…teehee.
Doing Lines In Vegas
To the surprise of no one, Stras and Co. get the big nod at -200 in the ATLvsWAS tilt. Behind them, however, we have no major leanings from the Vegas gods. Heck, they barely give LADvsSD over to Maeda at -128. Methinks they’re playing it close to the vest to start the year. Outside of that, we have the highest O/U of the late slate given to BALvsMIN at 8.5 and it’s hard for me to argue it considering the names I mentioned above. You want bats, you go there, you be happy. Outside of that, CINvsPHI sits at 8 but we all know how I feel about that one so just give 8 runs to the Cincy, stack the lefty ones, and call it a day.