It’s not much of a secret, of course; or at least, it’s not an undocumented fact: the Rockies away from Coors can be a bore with the bats.  Wanna know an undocumented fact?  Harambe might be a more long lasting meme than Crying Jordan when all is said and done.  I don’t know how I feel about that, honestly, but #DicksOutForHarambe needs to go.  NOW.  Or at least, the pics preceding do…because gross.  But more to the point, the Rockies and the road are the antithesis of Forrest and Jenny.  Ice cream and cyanide?  Gingers and souls?  Jose Canseco and Grey?  All important things to factor here as really, Rockies are generally trashy Mctrashersons on the road, holding down the 6th worst wRC+ while K’ing the 4th most at 23.6%.  And with that, we turn to our key bold faced name for the intro: A.J. Cole.  Cole’s season debut wasn’t spectacular, but definitely useful as he K’d 8 Orioles over 7 IP.  He finished just short of 20 points and that was without a win and in Camden Yards.  You intrigued yet?  Mmm-hmm, thought so.  Throw in the fact he’s only $6,300 and for once, it’s alright to get a Cole in your stocking so let’s roll.  Here’s my I’m still pretending summer will last forever taeks for this Saturday DK slate…

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday August 29th to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.

Carlos Carrasco, SP: $11,200 – If you wanna spend on Noah Syndergaard in cash, I ain’t here to get mad atcha but if you’ve been paying attention, you’d know that Carlos travels well.  Home games for Cookie?  A mere 13.6 DK points per.  Away?  How about 26.6 *side eye emojis to infinity*.  Too small a sample?  Well I’m here to let you know his ERA splits in 2016 (4.76 home/1.74 away) vs 2015 (5.03 home/2.49 away) says I’m not Jim Carrey in 23 looking for numbers where they ain’t.  And where the hell did that reference come from anyway, that movie was terrible!  For real, I used to say Hot Carrasco Sauce goes with everything and now I’m thinking it just doesn’t sit well in Cleveland but really, what does?

Marcus Stroman, SP: $9.100 – Ok Stroman, I see you.  Since the break, Stroman has a solid 3.40 ERA to go with 52 Ks and 6 walks over 45 IP.  Yes, you read that right: the K:BB ratio is ridic at 8.67 and he’s K’ing over 10 per 9.  Send in the clowns…er the Twins.  Meh, same diff.  Stroman will likely be a popular play so if you’re looking for a cheaper SP1 than Noah, here’s your man.  If you’re looking for the crazy go nuts tourney play, riding Ervin Santana’s hot streak into Toronto is the great pivot at $9,400.

Jeremy Hellickson, SP: $8,700 – A gross, stupid, and sick joke for a tourney call…but hear me out!  Hell boy is probably closer to a high 3 ERA guy…like really high.  Think Cheech and Chong high.  That doesn’t mean when his stuff is working it should be ignored.  Cespedes is back which is hard to want to play against but he’s had back to back 20 point DK games and more importantly, a 15 to 2 K:BB ratio.  Pitchers throwing strikes is a good thing, or so I’m told.

Alex Reyes, SP: $7,400 – Odd to say, but a bigger tourney gamble than Hellickson and that says a lot.  We have no clue how long Reyes can go, but we do know he has 13 K in 9.1 IP so far.  With the A’s playing like As’s, there’s upside here but the risk and the price say to keep your ownership low, bro.

Chad Green, SP: $5,300 – I’d believe in JFOH as Santa before I believed in Chad long term, but…did you not just totally picture JFOH in Bad Santa 3 with Grey playing Marcus?  Not sure who plays the kid since he’s a ginger.  Not even Razzball dips that low to employ one of those…anywho!  Green…GPP only…ellipses…

Salvador Perez, C: $2,700 – Two weeks ago, Gary Sanchez was $2,700.  How do I know?  I toldja to play him.  Now he’s the most expensive catcher because he has 10 HRs in 20 games and I’m here to tell you that’s just silly.  I’m also here to tell you to buy into a Salvador today because he’s cheap.  Well, maybe a Salvador is worth more than 2.7K but I digress, I’m looking for cheap catchers and Salvy is just that.  As a firm reminder, the weekend is the wild, wild west of backup catchers playing.  Stay woke and stay cheap.

Jose Abreu, 1B: $4,500 – Season long, Abreu has done you wrong.  DFS, he’s just making you quote Al Pacino.  He had three straight games with a HR just three days ago and something tells me Abreu is gonna end the season with around the same numbers he did last year.  If that’s true, we got about four weeks for 12 HRs and 29 RBI.  Let’s do this, Abreu!

Ryan Zimmerman, 1B: $4,000 – Zim has really struggled upon return, but for his career, he’s always loved facing a lefty with an OPS over 100 points higher vs southpaws.  In fact, with the Nats its time to get our stack on.  Lets consider Jayson Werth, Trea Turner, Anthony Rendon, and Wilson Ramos.

Jose Altuve, 2B: $5,000 – Just a gentle reminder that Altuve vs a lefty is the nuts (wRC+ at 190, OPS at 1.067, flame emojis at 1000 font).

Scooter Gennett, 2B: $2,900 – I get it, you don’t have the dough to be playing the best 2B in baseball.  It’s alright, we’ll scoot on down to Scooter who’ll bat second and is a sub 3K play.  Bee tee dubs, Gennett’s actual name is Ryan Joseph Gennett if you were curious.  Like, there’s not a long line of men named after recreational vehicles in his family.  Though I am curious if his son’s nickname will be Segway…

Jake Lamb, 3B: $4,500 – The only silencing of the Lamb this year has been starting against a lefty.  Thankfully for us, that won’t be a problem today.

Alex Bregman, 3B: $4,100 – Fun fact!  I picked up Bregman in May of a relatively deep H2H forever keeper league (don’t hate me for the H2H, I didn’t make it).  Not so fun fact!  I traded him for Yasmani Grandal and Corey Kluber for a playoff push right when he actually became good.  That might sting later…so here’s my only way of enjoying a Bregman AB now.  Enjoy with me, will you?

Carlos Correa, SS: $4,100 – Back to back Astros and I’ve already suggested Altuve.  Hrm, am I suggesting a stack, perchance?  Why yes I am!  Ian Snell has had a relatively good rookie year, but his control has been that of The Lonely Island.  Let’s just say George Springer and Evan Gattis are also in play and move on.

Luis Sardinas, SS: $2,700 – If you’re looking to boot the position entirely, but want to get in on picking on the blah that is Jose Urena, Sardinas is coming off a 29 point DK performance.  In the world season long, we might have a hot schmotato but we just care that he’s cheap.

J.D. Martinez, OF: $5,200 – Just Dong said he was coming back at 50% health.  He’s merely raised his average and overall OPS since returning so I’m fearful what 100% looks like.  All that said, if you’re looking for the pay up stack of the day, look no further than Los Tigres.  I got the eye of the Tiger looking at you, Ian Kinsler, Cameron Maybin, and Miguel Cabrera.

Brandon Moss, 1B/OF: $5,000 – Your other expensive stack get for the day.  Joining Moss with Matt Carpenter, Jedd Gyorko, Jhonny Peralta, and Stephen Piscotty makes much money sense.

Tyler Naquin, OF: $3,800 – In just 250 AB, Tyler has 14 HRs.  So for funsies, let’s just extrapolate that over 550…oh, 30 HRs you say?  Well you’re wrong, it’s 30.8.  C’mon, no one said to round anything!  Let’s table that part of the discussion for later.  For now, let’s just focus on getting a cheap shot at a bomb into our lineups.

Jorge Soler, OF: $3,300 – He’s been relatively quiet of late but with a lefty on the mound, he’ll very likely be in the lineup and still has that sweet power upside.  If only regular Solar power were this cheap.

I’m Only Happy When It Rains

Currently, nothing of major issue to report here, but do keep your peepers on DETvsLAA and CWSvsSEA just in case things get a little fugly.

Doing Lines In Vegas

The lines suggest today is treacherous for picking pitching and it’s hard to argue.  The highest O/U today goes to AZvsCIN at 9.5, but that’s what happens when a game is played in Coors South.  In total, there are seven games with an O/U of 9 or more and only three games resting below 8 (LADvsCHC, NYMvsPHI, and HOUvsTB).  If you’re looking for the heavy line supports for the day, Dallas Keuchel and his Astros sit at -200.  His home/road splits are well known, but I don’t think he returns enough on his price to be worth playing myself.  Of course, the big arm on the day looks to be Stroman at -230 in a 9 O/U game.  Basically, Vegas hates Ervin today, making him an even better GPP play.  Thanks Vegas!  We have three other heavy hitters in Reyes (-225), Syndergaard (-220), and Michael Fulmer (-200).  I’m lukewarm on Fulmer at the price given the Angels pensity to suck without striking out.

  1. The Hack says:

    Me as bad santa and grey as my elf? I think we just designed the official razzball Christmas card.

    • Sky

      Sky says:

      Haha, this needs to be done! Maybe there’s a Snapchat filter for this. Either way, what’s with you and f#%^ing sandwiches!

      • The Hack says:

        @Sky: okay do you want anything else?

        • Sky

          Sky says:

          A bottle of vodka

  2. The Hack says:

    Oh and I think Cleveland just rejects all things hot. Maybe it’s the river fire thing or maybe they need another river fire. The NBA can’t gift them everything.

    • Sky

      Sky says:

      All things hot…minus a Cleveland Steamer, of course

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