Cheers to you and yours on this fine Labor Day.  And now, cheers to all the hard work you’ve done over this last year and the history of hard work this nation has done.  Now cheers to the stretch run of baseball DFS as we wind our way into football season.  Now cheers to your hardwood floors that you now seem very intent on seeing up close…wait, are you sleeping?  Too many cheers, eh?  I can cheers anyone under the table, truth be told, so I’m not surprised.  But wanna know what might be a surprise?  A Rays stack on a full slate day that’ll feature bigger named bats could be the GPP get that you get to keep peeking at on your phone while you wait for the next brat off the grill.  You see, with the horny lobo (or as you call him, Randy Wolf) on the hill and the poor bullpen that resides behind him, Tampa Bay could make Tiger stadium feel like Coors.  At the very least, on this day, don’t work too hard on picking your 2B because it should be Logan Forsythe at $4,400.  You just don’t look the other way on that price when it comes with the 3rd highest ISO against southpaws on the year.  Meanwhile, a hot bat Brandon Guyer at $2,900 is a great OF punt and Evan Longoria gives a lot of upside at his $4,300 price tag.  If you ain’t stacking or mini-stacking, swirling players like this into your own personal lineup stew should pay handsomely.  But enough about my strange cooking ingredients, let’s move on.  Let me sell you on my red hot propane and propane accessory hot takes for this Labor Day DK slate…

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Yordano Ventura, SP: $10,100 – Pitching drops faster than Jack Powell’s balls did in ‘Jack’.  There’ll be plenty of cheap bats to choose from, just be sure to choose wisely about your pitching.  Ventura seems to have found a K groove as I last suggested him on Tuesday and I’m totally reupping it here.  The Twins sit near the bottom against righties for the year with the 4th worst wRC+ against them and a 21.7% K rate.  I’m gonna keep YOLOdano’ing over here.

Ian Kennedy, SP: $8,900 – Speaking of K’s, whew…12 in his last outing and Kennedy gets the Coors kids on the road.  We all know by now the Rockies swing their bats a little more slowly away from Colorado so let’s allow for these two worlds to collide in our lineup, shall we?

Michael Pineda, SP: $8,400 – Before I proceed too much further, lemme get it out the the way: not thrilled with Zack Greinke’s matchup, Chris Sale’s is just ok with an insane price, Max Scherzer is pitching like he’s tired, Michael Wacha never seems to score more than 20 points so I never roster him, and does Mike Fiers even count?  Rhetorical.  With that, I have a very small window of arms I’m looking at for today and with Pineda, you’re hoping for a monster K game as he faces the Orioles.  Baltimore has the 3rd highest K% but also have the 4th highest ISO vs righties.  Basically we need him to be Pineda and not Pinata today but there’s major potential here.

Justin Nicolino, SP: $5,100 – So I streamed and started Jake Lamb on Friday vs Milwaukee on Friday and yeah, that hurt.  What hurt worse was minus Braun, it was soft contact and a poorly played flyball that ended his day.  What I’m trying to say is the Brewers are rolling offensively but I still don’t believe they can hit lefties well.  If you’re looking for an SP punt, this dude with an Italian restaurant as a last name has potential.

A.J. Pierzynski, C: $3,400 – This Braves vs Phillies matchup is just a sad state of affairs.  On the one hand, you want to load up against Perez and Harang but on the other, you look at your choices and it makes you check how strong your gag reflex is.  I’ll be backfilling my roster with Phils and Braves and BLK:#J#:…sorry, gag reflex gave out on me.  But really, this should be a battle of attrition with the bats blindly winning out on both sides.  Just roster what you can stomach.  More on catcher: look and see if there’s anyone stepping in for regulars.  Keep in mind it’s a day with an early slate so so mid or late day catchers from yesterday could be resting in the morning.

Ryan Zimmerman, 1B/3B: $4,500 – If he’s in the lineup, he’s in my lineup.  You can call it hot, regression to the mean, freaking voodoo science…whatever, R-Zimm has 6 HRs in his last 10 games and three 25+ point DK games in that pile.  He’s getting it done and gets a lefty on the mound vs which he’s done massive damage so far on the year with a 176 wRC+ and a .360 ISO.  Jayson Werth is also an interesting get in this one and isn’t overpriced despite doing damage against southpaws as well.

Cory Spangenberg, 2B/3B: $2,500 – I’m going to be very intrigued to see what the Padres lineup looks like today.  Kyle Kendrick is everyone’s DFS fall guy even if/when he’s on the road.  If the Padres go lefty heavy and throw Cory a lineup bone and push him higher up, there’s some gap power and speed potential here.

Matt Carpenter, 3B: $4,300 – This is not the Carp of yore as the Matt I know wouldn’t understand what 21 HRs in his stat line is doing either but it’s there.  What’s also there today is a matchup all the lefties in the Cardinals lineup should love: Dan Haren.  Haren owns a 2.47 HR/9 rate against lefties for the year which is even a little suppressed by his earlier numbers in Miami.  I’m intrigued by a Cards mini-stack of Jason Heyward and Brandon Moss here as well but Carpenter’s lineup slot wins my heart today.

Jed Lowrie, 3B/SS: $4,000 – Probably more than you’re willing to pay but I already gave you a Rays stack which states I’m fine rolling with Asdrubal Cabrera so lemme drop this on you.  Lowrie has back to back games with a HR and has hit lefties much better than righties for his career.  He also played for Oakland for two years prior to this so if you’re suck with a ‘narrative street’ card in your Magic: The Gathering game at home, now’s your time to play it…haha, nerd!

Adam Eaton, OF: $4,000 – Eaton has 2 HRs in his last 3 games and can also steal a bag in case he gets one of Bauer’s 500 walks in the game.  Whatever Adam’s eatin’, it’s workin’.

Corey Dickerson, OF: $3,100 – So Corey tries round 20 0f his return from the DL and gets to go to one of the better pitching parks in the league *Lower case yay*.  Look, I said Kennedy as a smart start, I didn’t say a CGSO was guaranteed.  Ian gives up 1.82 HR/9 to lefties on the year and before you say ‘but Petco!’, his numbers at home are 2.43 HR/9 against them.  Rockies bats are still a mess away from Coors but if I’m taking a shot at Kennedy, I’ll do it from this grassy knoll.

Jonny Gomes, OF: $2,300 – Gomes will get plenty of run down the stretch against lefties as the Royals keep their team fresh for the playoffs.  Meanwhile, Tommy Milone gets pushed around away from Target Field.  If you’re looking to get in on some action in KC, first off, ew and secondly…oh, you didn’t mean it like that.  Yeah, just roll with Lorenzo Cain and/or Ben Zobrist and let’s put this confusion aside.

I’m Only Happy When It Rains

The KCvsCLE matchup has so major weather concerns and it’s one of the latest games on the slate.  I probably wouldn’t chance it unless you want a contrarian stack against Milone.  In other news, CWSvsCLE looks dry for game time but there’s a weather cell that could cause havoc late in the game or could move in sooner.  Their game time is a little sooner so maybe some recent weather reports could clear the air.  Unintended pun point!

Doing Lines In Vegas

Lot of heavy hitters in terms of arms but Mad Max and the Nats sit atop them all at -220.  Still not in love with him or the start but if you’re leaning towards spending above that 12K threshold for cash, looks like he’s today’s Vegas darling.  Keep in mind Sale isn’t chopped liver at -200 but also that YOLOdano is at -190.  Hopefully that pesky weather issue is fine by game time.  Your high o/u for the day belongs to BOSvsTOR at -135.  I would’ve suggested bats from there but I didn’t want you to have to pull out a second mortgage on your home.  All this to say, they ain’t cheap but if you feel like you can swing it, you’re gonna have a good day.  The next closest game is the 9 o/u for the DETvsTB tilt with TB/Smyly holding the line at -125.  I’m not suggesting Drew today simply because much like the Rays, the Tigers are pretty strong against lefties, but I could see the GPP merit if you’re looking to risk it; he’s been solid of late.  The movement from 8 to 7.5 o/u in the OAKvsHOU tilt is a little confusing given it didn’t come with much of a line adjustment.  Not reading this game well so it’s off my radar.  Only one game comes in under 7.5 and that’s LAAvsLAD at 7 so just realize nothing is gonna feel all that safe in the long run.