Nah, this ain’t an episode of Maury, my friends.  If you wanna watch trash tv, do it on your own time…by clicking here!  Just realized this was handpicked just for your brain-rotting tastes in mind.  In some small way, I’m just happy you’re not watching something Kardashian associated at this point.  Bar just keeps lowering, I’ll take what I can get.  Nah, I’m of course talking in that colloquially dirty way…which actually isn’t better but maybe a tad more clever?  I don’t know, I’m just here to present the facts and the fact is, the Padres have struggled mightily against lefties all year.  How bad, you didn’t ask but I’ll pretend you did?  They’re bottom 10 in wRC+ at a meager 89 but the big grab is the K%.  The Padres are 4th worst in the league with a 23.2% K clip vs southpaws and even with their recent upturn as an offense have not solved this issue.  And with that, enter Cole Hamels.  He’s not a cheap play but if someone out there is playing Clayton Kershaw, I can’t see how they squeeze in Hamels’ $10,800 salary.  All this to say, much like my Danny Salazar call on Monday, sometimes you just need to play the room to find the upside and Cole has that in spades.  On a day where you’re gonna be feeling like most pitchers are gonna have you in the fetal position, it’s nice to play daddy somewhere.  But enough about my weird role playing fetishes, let’s carry on.  Here’s my NSFW Benny Benassi hot takes for this Wednesday DK slate…

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Taijuan Walker, SP: $7,800 – This is all about K upside and nothing more.  Walker is no more safe than a grandma leaving her house without her walker.  The only solace here is is most teams try to get their splits on and Walker actually handles lefties better than righties so far in his brief career.  Given that the Mariners have been one of the hottest teams and have been great against lefties, I’ll be avoiding the Scott Kazmir side of this duel and hoping for a 10 K night while I rock out on my Walkman.

Yordano Ventura, SP: $7,700 – Not in love with this pick and this is really more a YOLOdano call than it is anything.  Ventura has been on a K spree, averaging 11.52 K/9 over his last four games.  The Tigers are a formidable task but since they’re very right hand heavy, there’s a chance for upside here.  Again, we gotta look to upside today since seemingly nothing is safe on this slate.

Kevin Gausman, SP: $6,200 – Full truth, Gausman was almost my lead but felt Cole made too much sense today to not roll with him first.  That doesn’t mean I didn’t do research on him.  I mean, look at what I found!!!  The young pup is still learning how to pitch but has pitched well at home so far this year and gets a Rays team that scares no one when a righty is on the mound.  If you’re rolling with Clayton, you’ll probably be finding yourself looking to the Gausman hoping he’s not a gas can.

Tommy Milone, SP: $5,900 – I wish Milone was about 1K cheaper, I’d feel a lot better about suggesting him.  That said, you can’t fight the stats: Milone has pitched well at home and the White Sox struggle against southpaws.  Given the price point, I’d rather pay a bit more for Gausman if I’m down in this range but Milone could be a nice tourney play surprise.

Kurt Suzuki, SP: $2,900 – I swear I’m not a Twinkies fan, just fell out like this.  I don’t trust Rodon and won’t be looking his way today simply because I’m not building 5,000 lineups and even then…well, I’d have to really think about it.  The Twins are solid overall against lefties and I’m looking for a nice punt play at catcher since Josh Thole is for some reason not in the pool.  Consider this a fist pump to starting Brian Dozier and Miguel Sano.

Prince Fielder1B: $3,600 – Fielder may not be the major home run threat he was in the past but Ian Kennedy and his 2.73 HR/9 rate vs lefties at home makes this a prime opportunity.  Not a prime rib opportunity, Fielder, don’t worry.  If you’re ot hip to Fielder, considering Rougned Odor and/or Shin-Soo Choo makes just as much sense.

Ryan Howard, 1B: $3,200 – I don’t pick on Phillies with pitching ad hoc like most would suggest and today is not a day that I’m in.  Harvey and his 1.64 HR/9 vs lefties makes Howard a great tourney play.

Jonathan Schoop, 2B/3B: $3,900 – Not sure how you can spell something like what Salt ‘N’ Pepa used to do and then claim it’s pronounced like a mouth wash but whatever.  Erasmo has some bad home/road splits so far this year and has struggled to keep right handed hitters in the park.  I’m all about throwing some right handed darts from the Orioles in today so consider this intrigue for Manny Machado and perhaps even Caleb Joseph.

Jake Lamb, 3B: $3,600 – He’s done relatively little with his time in Colorado and gets one last chance to plant one in that rare air.  If you’re bargain hunting, it’s hard not to find yourself playing Lambs today.

Ryan Goins, 2B/SS: $2,500 – It’s short stop, just punt baby.  Though Goins isn’t the most likely player to take advantage of Trevor Bauer for Toronto, he’s an affordable piece.  If you’re wondering why I didn’t suggest Andres Blanco here, it’s because you should be on auto-pilot with that shizz and don’t need my help.

Franklin Gutierrez, OF: $3,900 – Franklin against a lefty has been cash money so far this year.  Don’t believe me?  How about 34 games, 84 ABs, a .345 average and 7 bombs.  Part hitting well, other part matchup, just enjoy the ride and roll with the Big FraGu today.  If you wanna consider Nelson Cruz and even Mark Trumbo here, I can’t blame you.

Gregory Polanco, OF: $3,600 – He’s been icy cold but I’m thinking he could get icy hot after the Pirates got steam-rolled last night.  I love lefties in Miller Park more than Tehol loves thongs…on both men and women.  He’s a true underwear egalitarian.

I’m Only Happy When It Rains

Wet days may be coming soon but for now, we get to keep pretending its summer.  Yay!

Doing Lines In Vegas

To no one’s surprise, Kershaw and crew is the top dog tonight with a -260 tilt his way.  Given recent performances it IS surprising to see Matt Harvey getting the same -260 treatment.  Just note Jon Niese was handed a -220 yesterday and well…yeah.  I’m not hip to attacking the Phils since the ASG.  The KCvsDET tilt leans heavily in favor of Yordano, furthering my intrigue in him for today’s slate.  An interesting one to note is HOUvsSEA where Kazmir is getting plenty of love at -165 with a relatively small 7.5.  Much like the Phillies, I don’t think Vegas is taking proper account of how well the Mariners bats have been going.  Alright, now act surprised everyone!  COLvsARI leads the o/u charge at 11.  Behind that, we have TORvsCLE and CHCvsCIN at 9 apiece.  Obviously grabbing bats from here would do you well.  The lowest goes to LADvsSF at 6 followed by STLvsWAS and SDvsTEX at 6.5.  Mad Max has been slumping and though he’s relatively safe, his price expects upside and I’m not sure he’s pitching well enough to consider him for that.  Meanwhile, Wacha never seems to pitch poorly but he also never seems to go deep nor give you 30+ upside.  Likely a safe cash game play on both sides but I’d rather not pay up for either on this slate.

 
  1. J-FOH says:
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    Schoop Dog kills me with that pronunciation, what does he think he is…Italian?

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      I think he thinks he’s Dutch but who’s heard of a Dutch baseball player? PSSSSH! #Murica

      • J-FOH says:
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        @Sky: trade in those shoes for bats?

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          carved bats out of shoes is more like it.

          • J-FOH says:
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            @Sky: they better be using shaq.s shoes

  2. Banana says:
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    Walker or Ventura in a 50/50?

    • Banana says:
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      @Banana: I’m leaning Walker, but I could be swayed

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Neither make sense to me in a 50/50 but if I had to choose one, I’d take the one pitching at home.

      • Banana says:
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        @Sky: It’s hard to get a decent enough #2 with Kershaw in there.

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          No arguments here. Not a particularly good looking day for 50/50.

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