Closer Report, Week 3 – Chasing The SAGNOF

At some point, you look at your roster, then look at yourself in the mirror and the repeat that 31 more times and ask yourself this question…  When is chasing saves from the worst possibilities a bad idea?  My best advice, as your advocate of bullpen swagger, is never.  Realize the talent that is in the bullpen and say: is 1-2 saves really worth a waiver claim, a roster drop of someone else and a complete destruction of your rates and quite possibly your dignity?  If you haven’t guessed it, I am discussing the shatuation in the ‘Nati.  Just to get everyone up to speed on the demise, their (and keep in mind that it has only been two-plus weeks of games roughly) Hoover sucked. Jumbo is demoted to minors, Hoover back in and bad again, Cingrani more like Cingran-no.  Now all the hype is on Caleb Cotham.  Who has the time and rosterbatory rituals to have the right frame of mind to roster these guys from change to change?  I get that if you are in a NL-only league, it makes sense to be on the ball, but in mixed league… well, these guys are poop.  I was searching for a better word, but I can’t, and poop it is.  The combined ERA this year of Reds relievers in a save situation is over five.  That, my friends, is not worth the stretch for the sexy total of one save as a team.  Seriously, one whole save… you could have been rostering Ivan Nova and gotten the same total number so far. So anyone who likes the punishment, keep an eye on the health of Michael Lorenzen, as he could be next up. So what I am saying is: yes it’s cool and swanky to be the first guy on your fantasy block to unlock the new closer somewhere, but use common sense.  If a team is a pile of dung and will kill more stats then the assist, then, well, you already know my response because this is the end of the lede and I just went over it.  Stick around for some rankings, general chicanery with words on a page, and hell, maybe a whole pack of lies wrapped around stats.  Cheers!

• What in the hell happened to Cody Allen’s K rate.  He ended the year last year K/9 over 11.5, this year he is half that through 5 appearances.   A little early to worry but I am your friendly neighborhood smoke-dog just keeping you informed.
• If you are keeping up with the post above and follow crappy bullpens but with sleeper bullpen pieces look at Hector Neris.  9th highest K rate (14.46) among qualified relievers, is unscored upon and 3 for 3 in Hold sitches.
• I was secretly hoping for more from the Mets starters to glorify what I have seen from Jeurys Familia.  He is serviceable at best but not worldly like i thought he would be.  Come on Metropolitan starters.
• Ryan Madson has the goods to be a top 8 closer from here on out and he is steadily climbing the ranks up several spots from the previous A’s closer Doo-sorta-something.
• Tolleson is getting by but Dyson is a top 6 set-up guy right now and he needs to not stumble and he now has the gig all to himself with Kela hitting the DL with an elbow injury.
• Three straight clean appearances for Giles.  Still giving up hits and I think he has Drew Storen disease about the 8th inning duties/closing.  Make it 10 in a row and we can start talking.
• If B-rad Ziegler can maintain an above 8 K/9 he finishes in the top 15 closers.  Based on quantity of saves chances and his k totals.  He is basically Huston Street if he can maintain the pace.

Closer d’Etat  (Top set-up guys next up for saves)

A new feature that I have been looking to add is the top set-up guys who are either pitching well or are right behind the closer.  Getting the off day save for a shaky closer or someone who can jump in for a downed king of saves.  Never hurts to bag an extra reliever for your bench at best they either don’t play, you bench them or the do well.  No one ever does bad for someone we all roster…

• Sam Dyson
• Hector Neris
• Xavier Cedeno
• Hunter Strickland
• Nate Jones

$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad? Every time you go there, you have a thoroughly solid meal. No complaints, except you just paid $12 for a salad when you could’ve went to McDonald’s and stuffed you and your woman for ten schmools and had $2 in quarters left over to make the hotel bed vibrate. These closers are $12 salads.

1. Kenley Jansen – (Pedro Baez, Chris Hatcher)

2. Wade Davis – (Kelvin Herrera, Joakim Soria)

3. Andrew Miller – (Dellin Betances, Jonny Barbato, Aroldis Chapman– Susp)

4. Trevor Rosenthal – (Kevin Siegrist, Seung-hwan Oh)

5. Jeurys Familia – (Addison Reed, Jim Henderson)

6. Zach Britton – (Darren O’Day, Mychal Givens)

7. Craig Kimbrel – (Koji Uehara, Junichi Tazawa)

8. David Robertson – (Nate Jones, Matt Albers)

Donkeycorns

Imagine you’re following a donkey, who’s wearing a wool cap, through a desert for 1700 miles. Why are you following a donkey? Because he promises you something wonderful and you just need to trust him. Does the donkey talk? Yes. Yes, he does talk. So when you and the donkey in the wool cap arrive at his destination, he removes the wool cap to reveal a horn. The donkey is a unicorn and his gift to you for your trust is saves. These closers are Donkeycorns.

9. Mark Melancon – (Tony Watson, Neftali Feliz)

10. Hector Rondon – (Pedro Strop, Justin Grimm)

11. Jonathan Papelbon – (Shawn Kelley, Blake Treinen, Felipe Riviero)

12. Francisco Rodriguez – (Mark Lowe, Justin Wilson)

13  Cody Allen – (Bryan Shaw, Zach McAllister)

14. Roberto Osuna – (Drew Storen, Brett Cecil)

15. Luke Gregerson – (Ken Giles, Pat Neshek)

16. Huston Street – (Joe Smith, Greg Mahle)

17. Ryan Madson – (Sean Doolittle,  John Axford)

18. A.J. Ramos – (Mike Dunn, Bryan Morris)

19. Santiago Casilla – (Hunter Strickland, Josh Osich)

Employed

These guys are the men that make the save market go round. They punch in, punch out. Have the job, no real threat to speak of, and are basically just there to collect great benny’s so they can take care of their crippled brother. Who is only really crippled because he is scared of the sun.

20. Shawn Tolleson – (Sam Dyson, Jake Diekman)

21. Brad Ziegler – (Daniel Hudson, Tyler Clippard

22. Jeremy Jeffress –  (Michael Blazek, Tyler Thornburg )

23. Jake McGee – (Miguel Castro, Chad Qualls)

24. Steve Cishek – (Joaquin Benoit, Tony Zych, Joel Peralta)

25. Fernando Rodney – (Kevin Quackenbush, Brandon Maurer,)

Brain Freezes

I’m going on a picnic and I’m bringing apples, bananas and Carlos Marmol– Wait, he just gave up 12 earned runs and hit Castro in the head with a pick-off throw. Brain freeze! Make it stop! Use the following closers at your own risk.

26. Alex Colome – (Danny Farquhar, Xavier Cedeno)

27. Jeanmar Gomez – (Hector Neris, Andrew Bailey, David Hernandez)

28. Arodys Vizcaino / Jason Grilli –  (Jim Johnson)

29.  Kevin Jepsen – (Trevor May, Ryan Pressley)

30. Caleb Cotham / Jumbo Diaz / Tony Cingrani