Nothing is worse than owning a closer you drafted… you get comfortable and things are going well. You’re sitting pretty, a dalmation on the beer cart. Then poof! The dreaded word that for fantasy players and save connaisseurs is worse than the “I’m pregnant” line; That word is a “group”, from singular to plural. It isn’t fair. These guys don’t know the hours of time we devote to drafting a team and then getting pimped to the waiver wire for the next dude up. Well, that is where we are currently sitting with Atlanta and Philadelphia. Adding more names to the donkeycorn factory at the end of the chart. Joining the fray are now Tommy Hunter, A.J. Minter, Seranthony Dominguez, Dan Winkler, and a slew of other candidates that are all in bathrobes in a line by height down the hallway. Save orgies are good for one thing and one thing only, diversifying the stat and keeping you closer to the leader by expanding the save universe. But we all live in “a one man, one save” lifestyle like the Puritans. So what do we make of all this mess, besides getting a waiver wire mop and roster as many as possible? Stay calm if you own the old closer. There was a reason they had the job initially, and they are still in the running. Dropping a potential save candidate to the wire is never a good idea, unless you are upgrading and getting a better save option that has the job outright. This savey save advice is keen when you are middle of the pack, but if you are chasing saves and falling behind by the day, trading for one of a higher caliber is the tact to go. Let us see what else is happening in the end game of fantasy…
- I wanted to add the Angels sitch to the above column, but Scioscia is a maniac. Justin Anderson is the own, screw Cam (we waited too long), but with Mike usually drunk off Grandpa’s wowie sauce, anything can happen in the land of glitz and glamour. Just for gags, the Angels lead baseball in blown saves.
- Bruce Rondon adds his name to the list of crappy options for the White Sox. If you are into home/away splits bet against the Sox at home they are abysmal. They only have 15 save chances on the year so keep your expectations to a minimum with the FAAB love.
- Jordan Hicks has passed Greg Holland, that is all.
- How low do I go with Kenley? His K/9 rate over the last 14 games is 3.6. Three point six.
- Brad Brach is back from the DL, but how long do we hold down Mychal Givens for? I would rather own Givens than Brach personally, but that is just me, as I am a little wacky.
- Sleepy reliever of the week – Buck Farmer, EIEIO.
You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad? Every time you go there, you have a thoroughly solid meal. No complaints, except you just paid $12 for a salad when you could’ve went to McDonald’s and stuffed you and your woman for ten schmools and had $2 in quarters left over to make the hotel bed vibrate. These closers are $12 salads.
Imagine you’re following a donkey, who’s wearing a wool cap, through a desert for 1700 miles. Why are you following a donkey? Because he promises you something wonderful and you just need to trust him. Does the donkey talk? Yes. Yes, he does talk. So when you and the donkey in the wool cap arrive at his destination, he removes the wool cap to reveal a horn. The donkey is a unicorn and his gift to you for your trust is saves. These closers are Donkeycorns.
These guys are the men that make the save market go round. They punch in, punch out. Have the job, no real threat to speak of, and are basically just there to collect great benny’s so they can take care of their crippled brother. Who is only really crippled because he is scared of the sun.
I’m going on a picnic and I’m bringing apples, bananas and Carlos Marmol– Wait, he just gave up 12 earned runs and hit Castro in the head with a pick-off throw. Brain freeze! Make it stop! Use the following closers at your own risk.