With every first list or preseason edition of anything, there comes question marks. Lots of ifs and buts, with no real sound determination until we actual see the product. I am pretty sure Jane Austen’s first attempt at Pride and Prejudice was an abomination because who knew if Elizabeth Bennett was up to the task of being wifey material? It turns out that I can win a bet and correlate anything into the bullpen situations of the current MLB teams. Until injuries, demotion or a better option arises, we have to go by two main instincts: former ability and common sense. So the list is based off of the news to date that we have gotten on all the potential closers to date and for gigg’s I have ranked them accordingly. I have been doing bullpens for a long time and have been wrong on a few occasions, but I am not the manager or GM for the team pulling the strings, I am merely a fantasy writer. So here is the Spring training edition of the Closer rankings, their set-up men, and the cuffs we covet for fantasy in 2016.
- The top-4 for me are the guys. You can rank them 1-4 or 4-1 and it wouldn’t matter in the least. If you draft one, you are sitting pretty as they are guaranteed returns on investment. Each guy offers elite K-potential, low ERA and WHIP, and are pitching behind decent enough starting pitching that saves should be of abundance.
- Familia is the first closer I have popping off draft boards this year. He checks all the boxes, and if you go on Grindr right now, I think he is the closest guy to you in proximity. Crazy, but true.
- The Marlins situation is one to monitor already. Carter Capps missed three months of the season and is coming back with a lot of steam behind him. So much so that there is an impression from Mattingly and the powers that monitor the Fish that it’s an open competition. I don’t buy it too much, though Capps should be owned everywhere for his K-potential and cuff-ness.
- As always, there are tailings for even closers. These are all fluid situations and should be monitored deftly. Vizcaino has Grilli, who for the most part was the first waiver wire darling last year until his injury.
- Doolittle has had the good word spoken about him every year for the last three, now they have the Hatchet man behind him who is a proven closing commodity. This is my guess for the first situation that changes most likely do to injury.
- The Brew-ha-ha’s are in full rebuild. Bernie Brewer was just traded and is being replaced by a new and younger Sour beer sponsor. The question is when do the Brewers go full punt in the pen? Smith is there best pitcher period on the roster for fantasy. Unfortunately that is a bad thing, Knebel and Yhonathan Barrios are the guys to watch there and for deeper leagues.
- Reds are like the Brewers, punting along. They could go young and replace the Hoov with Zach Weiss. I don’t love the idea of Jumbo closing anything except the barbecue grill he is cooking on.
- The Phillies have a veteran in place and no one really else there to augment or supplant David Hernandez. If you get stuck late and have to decide between Hernandez or Fernando Rodney. Take the guy who is on the worse team. That may be a trick question or a riddle wrapped in a gluten free muffin.
You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad? Every time you go there, you have a thoroughly solid meal. No complaints, except you just paid $12 for a salad when you could’ve went to McDonald’s and stuffed you and your woman for ten schmools and had $2 in quarters left over to make the hotel bed vibrate. These closers are $12 salads.
Imagine you’re following a donkey, who’s wearing a wool cap, through a desert for 1700 miles. Why are you following a donkey? Because he promises you something wonderful and you just need to trust him. Does the donkey talk? Yes. Yes, he does talk. So when you and the donkey in the wool cap arrive at his destination, he removes the wool cap to reveal a horn. The donkey is a unicorn and his gift to you for your trust is saves. These closers are Donkeycorns.
17. Huston Street – (Joe Smith, Mike Morin)
These guys are the men that make the save market go round. They punch in, punch out. Have the job, no real threat to speak of, and are basically just there to collect great benny’s so they can take care of their crippled brother. Who is only really crippled because he is scared of the sun.
I’m going on a picnic and I’m bringing apples, bananas and Carlos Marmol– Wait, he just gave up 12 earned runs and hit Castro in the head with a pick-off throw. Brain freeze! Make it stop! Use the following closers at your own risk.