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Reminder To Reset Your Clocks To Roster Management Obsession From Draft Obsession

March 31, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 213 Comments

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[brid autoplay=”true” video=”1271506″ player=”13959″ title=”2023%20Razzball%20BUY%20SELL%20HOLD%20for%20Fantasy%20Baseball%20Week%201″ duration=”166″ description=”It’s the Razzball BUY, SELL, HOLD for Fantasy Baseball Week 1! 00:26 Anthony Volpe1:11 Alek Mano1:48 Carlos Rodon” uploaddate=”2023-03-29″ thumbnailurl=”https://cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/snapshot/1271506_th_642455e4eb3c5_1680102884.jpg” contentUrl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/1271506.mp4″ width=”480″ height=”270″]

*digs nose into an open field of grass, lifts head, eyes filled with tears* This smells of my youth!

Passerby, “My dog just peed there, so probably smells of youth because you used to wet yourself.”

Baseball is back.

“Hello, Genie, I have three wishes for this baseball season. My first wish: No one I roster get hurt. My 2nd wish: Everyone I roster do well. I drafted Oneil Cruz everywhere so, really, I’m doing much of the heavy lifting for this wish. My 3rd and final wish: All 3rd base coaches send runners home by doing the Moonwalk. Thanking you in advance, Genie. Wait a second, you’re not a genie, you’re Bartolo Colon in Blue Man Group paint. Damn you!”

Welcome back to another season of baseball! This one won’t be like a lot of the ones in the past few decades or so, because singles up the middle are back, and the pitch clock. Can’t believe how little jock scratching is in baseball with this pitch clock. Baseball has gone woke! Bring back the slow, intimate groin adjustments that baseball was once famous for!

So, I’m glad I didn’t waste a wish on trying to keep Mets healthy, because that was never happening. Justin Verlander hit the IL with a low-grade teres major strain. Triston McKenzie just had one of these and now we have another? How many major strains are we getting this year? Wait a second, Rob Manfred didn’t make some sorta deal with a dispensary and this major strain is a tie-in, right? With Verlander out, I’d go ahead and grab Tylor Megill, and let’s hope he’s as good as previous seasons for Ks (9.9 K/9) and command (2.6 BB/9). Don’t be Slippin’ Megill! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

NFBC Main Event: The All-Asian Team

March 30, 2023 | Featured, Our Leagues | 250 Comments

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Donkey Teeth and I drafted this past weekend in Vegas for the NFBC Main Event, and we had one plan — no plans! But, see, Donkey Teeth heard no “pants.” Well, that aside, we were back at it after our, I wanna say, 10th place finish last year. I blocked it out after the 2nd month of rostering Jose Berrios. Hey, Jose, buy me a drink first before screwing me! Never the hoo! Donkey and I never let a little thing like “doing well” stopping us from plopping down seventeen-hundred smackeroos and taking on the best the industry has to offer. Here we are five minutes after sitting down and realizing we the only ones making this a Draftquiri Happy Hour.

For those unfamiliar, it’s a 15-team, two-catcher, 5×5, 30-round league. There’s an overall prize of a lot of money and a big-but-slightly-smaller league prize, but let’s win the league first before worrying about that. There’s a $1000 FAAB for waivers in-season, and no pre-draft hypnotism is allowed, which makes me buying that old-timey watch with a long chain fob sorta pointless, but oh well. Anyway, here’s our NFBC Main Event draft recap:

Psyche! Just wanted to announce the Streamonator and Hittertron are running with all of the first weekend projections. LFG100! Anyway II, the draft recap:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Jordan Walker (Cardinal) Red

March 27, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 314 Comments

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Sometime around the end of February, I contacted my Cards’ connection and they said Jordan Walker would break camp, and from that moment I donned my train conductor cap on the Jordan Walker hype train, grabbed the wheel (do trains have steering wheels?), put my foot on the gas (again, pedals?) and started screaming choo-choo-choo out the window (is it up to the conductor to say ‘choo-choo-choo?’) and went full speed ahead. Topping off the hype train sundae (clearly, I know a lot about trains), I drafted him this past weekend in Vegas at the Main Event with the minimal pick at 97. And it felt effin’ glorious!

Or as Kenny from Rotowear aptly captured:

This weekend we found out Jordan Walker did, indeed, make the Cards’ Opening Day lineup. You want this year’s Julio Rodriguez? It’s prolly Corbin Carroll. You want this year’s Bobby Witt Jr.? It’s maybe Corbin Carroll too. So, who is Jordan Walker? I’ve haven’t seen a guy like Jordan Walker since rookie Giancarlo Stanton. Wouldn’t be surprised if he’s on the Struggle Bus with inside pitches, and there’s some chance here that he’s nothing more than 25/10/.240, but the upside is, brucely, as big as he is.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Separating Iglesias Y Estados Activos

March 24, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 240 Comments

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Braves announced that Raisel Iglesias has a low-grade shoulder inflammation, and Orlando Arcia will fill-in. Wait, that’s wrong. That’s the next Braves news. This is the third time in Raisel’s career he’s missed time with shoulder issues, but it’s been about seven years since the last time. He won’t throw for a week, then will see where he’s at. To see where he’s at, put your hands together in prayer. Okay, that’s Iglesias, and here’s the steeple. Now, crack them slightly, and that’s the people picking up A.J. Minter. Now turn your hands inside out and that’s the people getting *ucked once again drafting a closer high. Where’s all my genius-brained people who told you to draft closers high? Are they now pretending like this is a fluke and not that closers are easily the most fickle position? It won’t show up in end-of-the-season rankings, but remember I told you not to draft Edwin Diaz and Raisel Iglesias in the first five rounds. That was other people, who will do the same thing again next year. And the year after. Don’t worry, some brain geniuses are still drafting a guy who had, like, 12.00 ERA last 2nd half. Josh Hader is great, don’t you know? Any hoo! The 2023 fantasy baseball rankings are up to date, and the top 500 for 2023 fantasy baseball was updated for Iglesias, Minter, and Joe Jimenez (and others I will get to in this post). My guess is they’re in that order to replace Iglesias. For how long? I haven’t the foggiest. I’d guess a month, but you shouldn’t have drafted Iglesias anyway. Here’s the Fantasy Baseball War Room too, and good luck in weekend drafts! I will be in Vegas for the Main Event. I will be fighting Donkey Teeth. I mean, drafting with him. Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for 2023 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

RazzSlam Recap: It’s A (Aims Finger At Self) Points League

March 23, 2023 | Featured, Our Leagues | 171 Comments

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I’m a big fan of the everyman. I consider myself the everyman. I’m every man’s everyman. A pioneer of normcore. Track pants and a blinking light on my car’s dashboard that either means my seatbelt isn’t on or I need oil. That is me. What better way to elevate the Everyman Culture then to take part in a tourney where no one is smarter than anyone else. Enter the RazzSlam, a Best Ball tourney. Every everyman likely knows what a Best Ball league is, but, if you don’t, it’s when you draft a team and the computer manages it for you by choosing who are your best players, and you get those stats. It’s basically one fantasy league removed from the robots taking over and killing us all. Well, the last laugh is on you robots, cholesterol is beating you to the punch! Kinda love that Razzball is putting on a tourney (hosted by NFBC — thank you!) that no one really has any clue how to strategize. A true everyman experience. Oh, I’m sure there’s a few people who think they know the correct strategy for Best Ball, and a few of them might be right, but there’s an under 1% chance they know why they’re right, and it isn’t just luck. In some ways, Best Ball leagues are a lot like Best Ball strategies. Throw a ton of them out there and a few good ones will rise to the top through sheer force of players’ performances and nothing you’re actually doing. That’s the fun. Anyway, here’s my RazzSlam, a 42-round, Best Ball 12 team draft recap:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Tout Wars: Didn’t Draft Jordan Walker, And Didn’t Openly Weep — Progress!

March 22, 2023 | Featured, Our Leagues | 161 Comments

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So, went from the brutal cold of Los Angeles to the unseasonably warm NYC to take on the ‘perts of fantasy baseball in Tout Wars. As most of you, they have a bunch of leagues drafting over the weekend. Mine happens to be NL-Only, and happens on Sunday, so, after having Harold Dieterle, former Top Chef winner, on the podcast a few times, Geoff and I finally got to go out to dinner with him on Saturday night. He took us to one of New York’s most renown restaurants:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Starters to Target for 2023 Fantasy Baseball

March 21, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers, Featured | 187 Comments

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Today concludes the fantasy baseball sleepers‘ portion of our program. *nudges homeless woman sleeping on my couch that I tried to get Cougs to agree to a threesome with* No more sleepers, Francine. Meh, I’ll let her rest. Like the 3rd basemen to target, 2nd basemen to target or outfielders to target, this post is necessary. You need to target the right names at the end of the draft for starters. Last year’s starters to target post included Tony Gonsolin, Jordan Montgomery, Cristian Javier, Joe Ryan and Hunter Greene. They’ve moved way up ranks this year with one making the jump to my top 20 starters. As I always say, starters are available later. As with other target posts, these guys are being drafted after the top 200 overall. Also, all Steamer hitter projections are updated just about every day (mostly small adjustments), and all 2023 fantasy baseball rankings are updated. Anyway, here’s some starters to target for 2023 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

The Bard Casts Altuve In “Much Ado About Thumb Thing”

March 20, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 227 Comments

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[brid autoplay=”true” video=”1236251″ player=”13959″ title=”2023%20Razzball%20Draft%20Kit%20%20Busts” duration=”237″ description=”Top 5 Busts for 2023 Fantasy Baseball00:16 Michael Harris II00:58 Sandy Alcantara1:31 Josh Hader1:59 Zack Wheeler2:26 Adley Rutschman” uploaddate=”2023-02-06″ thumbnailurl=”https://cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/snapshot/1236251_th_1675673583.jpg” contentUrl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/1236251.mp4″ width=”480″ height=”270″] Daniel Bard gets no props for hitting Jose Altuve, and, of course, he should not, because he broke his thumb. That does not deserve an atta […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Edwince Kneeaz

March 17, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 204 Comments

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[brid autoplay=”true” video=”1237013″ player=”13959″ title=”2023%20Razzball%20Draft%20Kit%20LowPriced%20Alternatives” duration=”199″ description=”A look at some sleepers to avoid some overpriced players in 2023 Fantasy Baseball 00:00 Intro00:51 Third Base1:35 Second Base1:59 Zack Wheeler2:16 Outfield” uploaddate=”2023-02-07″ thumbnailurl=”https://cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/snapshot/1237013_th_1675752812.jpg” contentUrl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/1237013.mp4″ width=”480″ height=”270″]

Steve Cohen carrying a $2.4 billion in a briefcase. All the denominations are million dollar bills that he bought off Etsy for $999,999 apiece, because he gets a billionaire discount. The Wilpons enter the exchange with the glove Jesse Orosco threw into the air at the completion of the 1986 World Series. With this transaction, Cohen will become majority stakeholder in the New York Metropolitans. The exchange begins. Cohen hands the Wilpons the briefcase and the Wilpons hand Cohen Orosco’s glove, which is the deed to the Mets. As they go their separate ways, Cohen puts the glove on and realizes there was something in the webbing. He opens it to a monkey’s paw. This will go beautifully next to his formaldehyde shark, he thinks. Then he sees a little piece of paper in the monkey’s clutches. He unfurls the paper to read, “Enjoy the curse, sucker!”

Welp, if it wasn’t for bad luck, the Mets would have none. The Edwin Diaz injury is just the latest insanely unlucky thing to happen to the Mets. Whomever bargained the Mets’ soul for that ball going under Bill Buckner’s glove needs to make amends to the baseball gods, or wrap Scherzer and Verlander in bubble wrap! So, the top 100 for 2023 fantasy baseball has been updated with news Edwin Diaz will miss the season; the top 500 for fantasy baseball has been updated. Grab the Fantasy Baseball War Room for any weekend drafts too; I’ll be using it for my Sunday Tout Wars draft. Wish me luck, kidding! Don’t need it! David Robertson is clearly Edwin Diaz’s successor, and it seems unlikely Ottavino gets anymore than a handful of saves. Assuming that freakin’ monkey paw doesn’t have a say in this! Anyway, here’s what else I saw in Spring Training for 2023 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Outfielders to Target for 2023 Fantasy Baseball

March 16, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers, Featured | 187 Comments

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We (me) have gone over the catchers sleepers, 1st basemen sleepers, 2nd basemen sleepers, shortstops sleepers, and 3rd basemen sleepers, because I have to do everything around here! Look at me, throwing shade like a beach umbrella! That makes sense…if you don’t think about it! That’s what I want my bumper sticker to say, “That makes sense….if you don’t think about it.” Okay, so this post is all the outfielders that are being drafted after 200 overall that elicit uber-sexy feelings. There’s guys like Jake McCarthy and Taylor Ward that I would draft everywhere, and wrote fantasy baseball sleepers for them, but they’re going before 200 overall, so not presented here. Uh, except for here here. Now, this is a (legal-in-all-countries-except-Canada) supplement to the top 100 outfielders for 2023 fantasy baseball. All Steamer hitter projections and all 2023 fantasy baseball rankings have been updated. Click on the player’s name where applicable to read more and see their 2023 projections.  Anyway, here’s some outfielders to target for 2023 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
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