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“Whoa, how about that Blake Snell deal? What about that Cody Bellinger deal? Can you believe that Matt Chapman deal? This is crazy! Deals be dealin’!” That’s what I would be saying if there were any deals being dealin’. Sadly, the entire sport is being held captive by Scott Boras and “(fill-in team name) is currently not looking at signing any free agents.” The Yankees are one big arm away from having a great team, and instead are like, “Hey, when Rodon can only throw 45 innings, it’s no biggie. We have Luke Weaver.” So, instead of a big signing, we have injury news. Kyle Bradish has a tear in his UCL

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The best 2024 fantasy baseball team is a misnomer. Thankfully, none of us know what misnomer means. Sounds to me like someone tentatively wants to date the Travelocity Gnome’s daughter, “Miss Gnome, er, you wanna grab some boba and chill?” Miss Gnome brushes back her hair and bats her eyelashes that are almost as long as her two-and-half foot body, “I’d love to,” but her voice is high-pitched, which is a turnoff, so you cancel plans with her repeatedly until she gets the hint. Sorry, Miss Gnome, gotta ghost ya because I like my women’s voices low like their stature. Any hoo! So the title is hyperbole. What was I gonna say, “The Mostly Kinda Good Fantasy Baseball Team?” You’ll get over your scoffing; I have faith in you. This is the best 2024 fantasy baseball team that I can put together when drafting from my top 100 for 2024 fantasy baseball and top 500 for 2024 fantasy baseball. Honestly, I could draft another 25 teams from those lists, and they’d all be different, but equally terrific…Well, one of the twenty-five would only be sorta terrific, but it would be really hard to tell which one that is. If I took Matt Olson in the 2nd round, everything after would change. If I took Trea Turner in the 1st round, everything after would change. I’ve previously gone over my 2024 fantasy baseball draft prep for the first few rounds and pitchers pairings. For this exercise, I’m taking Bobby Witt Jr. in the first, because, well, I want to feel alive, and I’ve never drafted him before.

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Yesterday, I told you how to draft your pitchers for 2024 fantasy baseball. I laid it out to you nice and simple (if you have a degree in “What The Hell Is Grey Talking About?” Not a PhD, mind you. Just a BS.) Today, we forget all that jabberwocky on the who-ha and get down to business old school-style (which means if you don’t comprehend, I will hit you over the head with a baseball bat signed by Joe Clark.) What I’m hoping to lay out to you is who do you draft 2nd, if you’ve drafted so and so first. For easy reference, the royal we will be using the Top 10 for 2024 Fantasy Baseball, top 20 for 2024 fantasy baseball, and the beginning of the top 100 for 2024 fantasy baseball. I’m going to assume you’re in a 12 team, 5×5, MI, CI, 5 OF, 1 Utility, 1 Catcher league, similar to our Razzball Commenter Leagues. (Sign up for multiple leagues, and beat the heck out of your frenemies or make new frenemies!)  Anyway, here’s some pairings for the first two rounds of 2024 fantasy baseball drafts:

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Here’s everyone’s favorite fantasy baseball draft tool delivered to you in time to repackage it and give it to your loved one on Valentine’s Day, pretending it came from you. Just remember the sex you have is thanks to me. You’re welcome. Okay, did you ever think we’d get to the end of the 2024 fantasy baseball rankings?

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It’s year 14 of the RCLs! That’s right, if the RCLs are in the bathroom, don’t knock, just give them like five minutes because they’re checking the price guide for their Semien condition, so to speak. They grow up so fast, right? Soon, the RCLs are going to be dating, then fall for their high school sweetheart, then get married at 19, then quit school to support their young family.

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Corbin Burnes was traded to the Orioles, and, only a few days earlier, Peter Angelos sold the Orioles, saying to the new owners, “Treat this team with the respect she deserves. Every part of her. Down to the staples on this contract. By the way, if you don’t need the staples, I usually take them out and save them so I can use them again down the road. Crazy the amount of people that discard perfectly good staples. I have one staple I used on a court document — someone was suing me for back pay — and I used that one staple, like, sixteen more times.”

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Four score and seventeen-hundred rankings posts ago, my Fordfathers said, “Stop calling us Fordfathers, you idiot, it’s forefathers.” In order to form a more perfect fantasy baseball ranking system, we stopped ranking for fantasy baseball and simply said, “Eff it, let’s just let Grey rank 500 or so Mr. So-and-So’s.” Or, more succinctly, the top 500 for 2024 fantasy baseball.

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Hello, all you brave, courageous, adventure-seekers, you’ve found the wrong website. This is fantasy baseball, not fantasy role playing, unless it’s fantasy roll-playing and this is Stratomatic, but that’s still not right. Still, fantasy baseball. Good, now that we got rid of all those people wearing fedoras and shopping from the Indiana Jones collection at Eddie Bauer, we can get down to the bidness. The Auction value bidness? Not quite, but you can find all auction values in Rudy’s rankings — one example, 12-team mixed league auction values. This is a top 100 for 2024 fantasy baseball. Let’s do this!

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The top 40 starters for 2024 fantasy baseball fall roughly in the 75 to 125 overall for those of you who are wondering where we are overall, and, of course, when the rankings are done I will be along with a top 500 overall to show you exactly where we are. Think of this set of starters as your number twos and number threes, but, again, I will have a pitchers’ pairing tool to help with that too.

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