by: Grey
The Orioles are calling up Jackson Holliday. To back up Ramon Urias? To work on fielding drills with Jorge Mateo? I don’t get it. He wasn’t ready 11 games ago, but he’s ready now? Hunh, weird stuff, right? So, Jackson Holliday is going to be a star.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Framber Valdez is out with a sore elbow. Feel a bit like I’m living in a Twilight Zone, where I say in the preseason, “Don’t draft (pitcher’s name) because they were injured last year or just so awful last year they must’ve been injured,” then everyone ignores that and pretends that a player’s injury is […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?It’s hard to not sound like a prick when discussing starters who I clearly said to avoid who are now injured. I could say something kind like, “Hey, who could’ve seen this coming? Not me, man! Totally out of nowhere! Wow, Shane Bieber needs Tommy John surgery? Crazy! Was he even hurt last year? He was? I had no idea! A 60-day IL stint last year due to his elbow? That is crazy! I am learning that for the first time!”
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
“Hello, Personalize Any Jersey Emporium, you’ll make anything I want, right? Okay, great. So, I will provide you a Royals jersey, but on the back I want the name, Middleton, and on the front I’d like a cartoon drawing of the Princess of Wales Catherine aka Kate Middleton
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
It’s Double Dong Day at Jake Burger’s! “Burger dongs,” he said thoughtfully, “That was what Dan Schneider made me say on the set of Good Burger while I massaged his shoulders.” Former host of Double Dare, Marc Summers shuddered, continuing, “I never want to hear that or ‘I don’t know’ again.” He looked up at […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
I am stubborn, but not so stubborn that I can’t admit a mistake. I wanted to watch Cole Ragans (6 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 2 walks, 7 Ks, ERA at 1.46) and be honest with myself if I thought it was a mistake calling him overrated in the preseason. I didn’t want to […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?You In January, “You ranked Bryce Harper where? At 11th overall? I feel like, and don’t take this the wrong way, but you might’ve hit your head and unleashed another part of your brain that most people hide. Let’s call it, The Stupid Brain. And by you unleashing The Stupid Brain, it’s caused you to do stupid things. Like the Bryce Harper ranking. If you didn’t hit your head and you think The Stupid Brain is actually your The Smart Brain, let me be the first person to say, no, it’s absolutely stupid.
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
So, this is crazy, I was in the supermarket line yesterday reading about an illegitimate child that Betty White had with a Mexican man while she was protesting with Cesar Chavez, and they named him…You’re gonna wanna sit down. His name was…Ronel Blanco!
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Referencing Wikipedia liberally here: Trey Lipscomb, a very famous barber in the 1840s who could twirl three mustaches at the same time. Johnny Appleseeds, children between the ages of 8-13 in the 1840s, used to exclaim, “You are a hero, Mr. Lipscomb, for us, Johnny Appleseeds, and you will never be forgotten by golly,” as […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Okay…Imagine this! I come out on stage in a sequins head-to-toe jumpsuit, clapping hands above my head! The audience is like, “Is that 70’s Elvis?” No! It’s Grey and The Hittin’ Jacks! On guitar we have Jackson Merrill, on drums Jackson Holliday and on bass, it’s the one and only, Jackson Chourio!
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
As I peer out over the green grass fields, I’m reminded of my youth. A wee boy with eyes watering, scratching because I wanted the baseball to be played so badly. I was fiending and overheated! I was The Rock but obsessed with baseball, “Can you smell what the verdant is cooking!?” I yelled at […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Don’t want to get all emotional but today begins the best six months of your life, except for the last Opening Day, and the Opening Day before that and the Opening Day before that, not the Opening Day before that though, we don’t talk of that Opening Day anymore.
Please, blog, may I have some more?