This isn’t about what Amed Rosario can do when he’s promoted. I mean, that will be in here, but we’re getting to the point in the season where Super Twos are super-done with the minors. So, what the flying Mr. Met middle finger is a Super Two? I love baseball, but we need to move past the language that sounds like it needs to be explained by an attorney. I don’t know football, but do they have situations where players can’t play until a certain date due to salary arbitration and is that date different for every player? Of course not, football fans can barely figure out offsides — Grey’s dragging people! Novel concept: baseball says all rookies can come up on June 1st and that’s it! Nothing else! Lose Super Two! Super Two sounds like a toddler that is big for his or her size or a large turd, which may be one in the same depending on your POV. As for Amed Rosario, Prospector Ralph just gave you his Amed Rosario fantasy. To pull some quotes from there, “Crabs, haters, and countrymen…on a limb here…is the peculiar case of Amed Rosario.” What is he smoking? Hmm, maybe it was my pulling of quotes. In summation, he’s hitting .350 with five homers and 11 steals through 51 games in Triple-A, and he’s more than ready to play every day for the Mets, so promote him and stop being a super pooper too! Ouch. I need a nap after that one. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?
A’s Paid Peak Pricing On That Kluber Drive
June 2, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 276 Commentsby: Grey
If only every starter could return from the DL like Corey Kluber did yesterday — 6 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 4.36. Though, if every pitcher returned from the DL like that, there would never be another run scored in the major leagues because every pitcher is returning from the DL in every game, and then Orel Hershiser’s scoreless inning streak would get surpassed, and that would cause Orel Hershiser’s self-esteem to be damaged, and then to fill that hole he’d run for president. I don’t want Orel Hershiser as our president, so I don’t want every starter to return as gracefully as Kluber. Any hoo! Corey Kluber has a pattern of abuse he drags his fantasy owners through. In April, he starts Cold as Ice and you wish he were a Foreigner, that Dirty White Boy, but he turns it on as the season progresses and you’re like, “Feels Like the First Time.” There’s some of you who read the previous sentence as a tribute to Foreigner, and some who thought of Vanilla Ice. Which one you thought of says more about you than any Buzzfeed quiz. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more? Springer Rounds For ‘Strosies, Pocket Full Of Dongs
June 1, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 450 Commentsby: Grey
The Astros exploded for 17 runs yesterday, and it was the second game in the last three where they scored at least 16 runs. Twins pitching, “Hold my beer…” Am I doing that right? The hero of the Astros’ offense, and a man that is widely known as George Jefferson Springer led the way with 4-for-4, 4 runs and his 12th homer and 13th homers, hitting .265. The only thing missing from George Springer‘s game is saving a baby that is stuck in a tree and/or figuring out a way to ensure future babies don’t get stuck in the same tree (and maybe some steals). Serious question, why is Springer hitting leadoff and Jose Altuve (1-for-4, 2 runs, hitting .319) in the two-hole? It’s not hurting the Astros, but it is hurting my fantasy teams’ RBI totals! Evan Gattis (4-for-6, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and his 4th homer) needs to hit cleanup? How about Alex Bregman (2-for-6, 2 RBIs and his 6th homer) hits cleanup, Marwin Gonzalez (2-for-5, 3 runs, 2 RBIs and his 12th homer) hits fifth, Gattis sixth and Yulieski Gurriel (1-for-5, 1 run, 2 RBIs) hits eighth or lower? Is that the most obvious thing I’ve ever said in my life? Okay, after the time I said, “I’m not going up in any hot air balloon.” All right, also not as obvious as the time I said, “I’m lost,” after driving around for two hours pretending I knew where I was going. Fine, also after the time I said, “I can’t bench press 55 pounds.” After those things, this is the most obvious thing I’ve ever said. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more? Bauer K’s A’s Straight Through 2PM
May 31, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 530 Commentsby: Grey
The title is referring to 24. I never saw 24. Well, I’ve seen the number. I never saw the show. No interest really. Not my sorta thing. I do have a Kiefer Sutherland story though. I think I recapped it in my book, Who Is Grey Albright? Long story short, at my first job ever in Boston (and really only job ever where I collected a weekly paycheck), I was working in a film production office and someone called for the producer and I asked them who they were. “Tell him, it’s Kiefer,” and I was like, “Kiefer? Kiefer who?” “It’s Kiefer Sutherland, you jackass!” I wasn’t made for answering phones, apparently. Y’all gotta admit; you hear the name Kiefer out of context and it’s a bizarre name. Though, it wasn’t fully out of context, I suppose, since it was a film office. Any hoo! Whatever Trevor Bauer did prior to yesterday’s game, do it again! Was it the pre-game chucking of a softball three-quarters of hectare? Then do that! Yesterday, he went 7 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners with 14 Ks. Well, hello, there. Can you stay a while? Maybe I can make you a Cuba Libre and some Brazilian cheesy bread? His peripherals are gorge too — 11.5 K/9, 3 BB/9 and a 3.03 xFIP. Of course, his opponent, Sonny Gray went 4 2/3 IP, 7 ER, and thus illuminates the problem. Gray was solid too, a game ago, and now look at him. I’d grab Bauer for some Ks, but the risk is enormous. He doesn’t just happen to have a 6.00 ERA even after yesterday’s game. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more? Everything With Trout Is “Aw Thumb”
May 30, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 719 Commentsby: Grey
I hope everyone’s Memorial Day was filled with hot dogs, hamburgers, Coorses (Coorii?), fireworks that were meant to be saved until July 4th but were blown off yesterday so close to your ear that you still have a ringing, and all the other red-white-blue American things one hears backstage at a Larry The Cable Guy concert. My Memorial Day was filled with eating and burping and farting and wearing an American flag t-shirt, but that’s every Monday. Eat a D, ISIS! Someone whose Memorial Day was less than ideal is Mike Trout. He was diagnosed with a ligament tear of his thumb, and will opt for surgery. This will knock him to the DL for the first time in his career, and it will be a two month stay. Just like that, he went from GOAT to goatse. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more? Memorial Day Weekend BBQ Featuring Strasburgers
May 29, 2017 | Uncategorized | 444 Commentsby: Grey
On Saturday, Stephen Strasburg went 7 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 15 Ks, ERA at 2.94. That’s right, fifteen strikeouts, a career high. Ah… If only every starter got to face the Padres in every game…*wavy lines* Hey, Danny Salazar is facing the Padres? This is awesome! Wait, why is he walking a guy with a .260 OBP? Did he just give up a homer to Erick Aybar? He’s having an epileptic fit trying to pronounce Szczur?! He’s wiping a booger on my Reggie Jackson rookie card?! How does he even have my Reggie rookie card?! Mom, did you give Danny Salazar my Reggie rookie card?! Oh my God, make it stop….Please… *wavy lines* Worst dream sequence ever! On this day of BBQs and Memorials, hot dogs and beer, baseball and refreshing our fantasy baseball team page, we can be thankful Strasburg is not a dream. Though, the reality is Strasburg was a 2.62 ERA pitcher in the 1st half last year and a 6.15 ERA pitcher in the 2nd. Happy Memorial Day! Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?For this Buy on Adam Frazier, we are hoping C**nt Hurdle doesn’t mysteriously bench Frazier for, say, Jose Osuna, Alen Hanson or John Jaso. You’re thinking to yourself, “No way Hurds benches a guy that’s batting near-.360. No way Hurds does this to a guy that regularly hit for a .300+ average in the minors. No way Hurds does this with a guy that had a .400+ OBP in the minors and with an OBP near-.450 in the majors.” Yeah, well, Hurds and way, Little Miss Muffet. I have no proof of this, but I think C**nt Hurdle came up with the idea for gas station TV. Not that there’s anything dumb about TV above the pumps while you get gas, but it’s so stupid that every 15 seconds it says, “Welcome to Gas Station TV!” Imagine this anywhere else, “Hello, and welcome to living room TV!” “Welcome back to guest bedroom TV, after just telling you that you were watching guest bedroom TV literally 15 seconds ago!” “We now interrupt the conclusion for this week’s Better Call Saul finale to tell you exactly where you are.” That Hurdle came up with announcing Gas Station TV every 15 seconds tells you how smart this guy is. Frazier does appear to be as good as most leadoff guys around the league for OBP and speed. Think a poor man’s Ender. I will call him, Watching The Ending Of A Show On Gas Station TV. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more? ODB, Your Fantasy Is Not Hot Like Fire
May 26, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 450 Commentsby: Grey
Yesterday, Dirt McGirt, Dirty Nasty, Tha Ol’ Dirty Chinese Restaurant, Big Baby Jesus, Odubel Herrera went 0-for-5 with 5 Ks. Last Phillie to do that was Pat Burrell. Burrell remembers wistfully, “Ah, yes…’Slump Buster September 2008.’ That was Jamie Moyer’s granddaughter’s friend. She was like a keg with two arms. She looked like Matt Stairs with longer hair. I believe Brett Myers introduced us. Now that I think about it, maybe that’s why she was always flinching.” Odubel’s average is down to .226 and his OBP is .275. M-E-T-H-O-D MAN that is bad. Shame on a Herrera. Ooh, baby, I like it raw, but that’s filled with salmonella. He swings at the third most pitches outside the strike zone and his strikeout rate is up 4% while his walk rate has fallen 4%. Put it all together and you have one of the worst hitters in the majors right now. So, can he come out of it? Future: Cloudy. He’s more of a .265 hitter, but swinging at balls outside the zone can quickly spiral and shove him further into his slump. Before last year, he had a full season of 8 HRs and 16 SBs, couple that with .265 and you’re not looking at the guy you thought you were getting in March. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more? Things Looking Sonny For Bizarro Grey Albright
May 25, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 572 Commentsby: Grey
Okay, this is weird, but Sonny Gray and I are complete opposites. Sonny Gray is in Bay Area, and it’s Grey Albright in Los Angeles. Weather you like it or not, that’s weird! Pun noted too! Grey Albright plays fantasy baseball; Sonny Gray plays reality baseball! It’s freaking me out! Grey Albright’s face is mustachioed; Sonny Gray’s is not. Sonny Gray is athletic; I am not. He works for a newspaper called Ballrazz, which is super-terse and serious. It’s uncanny! Yesterday, Gray (him) went 7 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 11 Ks, lowering his ERA to 3.34. Okay, time to take a new look. I did like him at one point in his career, before everything went sideways. His velocity and two-seam fastball are back. Right now, his two-seam is his best pitch, however, his curve is not back to where it was in 2015. Watching some video on him showed a guy that can get swings and misses, but had a bit of a favorable strike zone yesterday. I’d be careful in shallower leagues, but he looks closer to his breakout from two years ago than he has in a while. Now, if he’s married to a younger woman, I’m gonna plotz over all of our opposites. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday for fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?Excuse me for one second, there’s a doorbell ringing. *opens door* “Luigi! Paisan! What are you doing here?” To you, “This is Luigi, my tailor. And, yes, I’m addressing you, the audience, like it’s Sesame Street.” “Grey Liotta, as you insist I call you, I saw Michael Conforto had a huge game – 3-for-4, 4 RBIs and hit his 12th and 13th homers, now hitting .333 with a .425 OBP — and I say I have to go see my favorite customer to let out his inseam.” “Ah, Luigi! You know me better than anyone, except my mustachioed mother and even more stereotypical Italian barber!” On a serious note, what Michael Conforto is doing now is why the Mets should promote Amed Rosario. Reyes, Walker, yadda, blah, blooie are not going to lead to anything of note. Maybe they have a good game or two, maybe a solid week, but, in the end, you have *raspberries lips* and Rosario still with no major league experience. Not even saying Amed’s the answer like Iverson, but you have to give guys a chance over these third-rate vets that lead you nowhere. If the Mets had given Conforto the at-bats all last year, he might’ve came out of his 1st half slump and carried them in the 2nd half and thru the playoffs. As for those who don’t know me as well as Luigi, I’ve always said Conforto would be an All-Star at some point. This is not out of nowhere, nor someone to sell high. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more? With A Schebler Yell, He Cries More, More Dongs
May 23, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 471 Commentsby: Grey
Let me know if you can tell what song I’m listening to while I write this. Scott Schebler hit his 13th home run; it was the third straight game with a homer. Whoa, make me sweaty (Bam-ba-Lam)! I’ve mentioned before (numerous times) that Schebler was always loved by Razzball/Steamer projections, but why? He’s so rock steady (Bam-ba-Lam)! Whoa, Dave Righetti (Bam-ba-Lam)! Schebler took a while to catch on, but he’s still only 26, and, as a 23-year-old in the minors, he hit 28 HRs and stole 10 bases while hitting .280 in Double-A, and continued that in Triple-A, always hitting for power and getting some steals. He’s not from Birmingham (Bam-ba-Lam)! Way down in Alabam’ (Bam-ba-Lam)! Well, he’s shakin’ that thing (Bam-ba-Lam)! Boy, he makes me sing (Bam-ba-Lam)! Whoa, drop confetti (Bam-ba-Lam)! Across the board now, ROS projections are singing Schebler’s praises and I’m done fighting him. If you combine his ROS projections and what he’s done so far, they have him down for a 30 HR, 10 SBs, .255 guy. Whoa, pot of neti, (Bam-ba-Lam)! At this point, there’s no reason to not own Schebler until further notice. Whoa, sometimes I dress my dog up like a yeti, (Bam-ba-Lam)! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?Matt Adams was acquired by the Braves for Juan Yepez, who was always a little too excitable for the Braves — Yepez! See? Not a good look. It was a tearful exit from the Cardinals’ clubhouse for Adams. His emotions hit a crescendo when he realized he couldn’t carry out all the food he had accumulated in the clubhouse refrigerator. Through tears, “Why didn’t I learn to balance soda on my head like I was Jamaican?” Hey, mon, they have grape soda in Atlanta. Adams will be the 1st baseman in Atlanta until Freeman returns, while conceding to Loney on occasion, assuming Adams doesn’t try to eat him, “I thought his jersey read Baloney! I’m a terrible person!” Adams gets a boost in value, but mostly just for NL-Only and very deep leagues. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?