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Top 20 Shortstops for 2017 Fantasy Baseball

January 23, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 185 Comments

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The shortstops are stacked, yo.  They are stacked like Dolly Parton on top of a stack of hotcakes.  There is gorge as far as the eye can see.  If a young boy happened upon this post, he would see love for the first time, then Norman Rockwell would paint him because it was the essence of Americana, if Norman Rockwell were alive and working as a caricature artist at a carnival.  I wanna roll around in these shortstops like I’m Natalie Wood rolling away from a drunk Robert Wagner.  Okay, enough hubbub!  If you’re just joining us, all the 2017 fantasy baseball rankings are under that link-ma-whosie.  With each player is my projections and where I see tiers starting and stopping.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 shortstops for 2017 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Top 20 2nd Basemen for 2017 Fantasy Baseball

January 20, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 203 Comments

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Our 2017 fantasy baseball rankings are humming right along.  The last post, the top 20 1st basemen for 2017 fantasy baseball, was the longest post ever written on the internet by a relatively sane person.  The post before that, top 20 catchers for 2017 fantasy baseball, was the longest post ever written by a relatively insane person.  Incredibly, these are the same person.  Glass half sane, glass half crazy, nah mean?  So, without further hubbub on the tomfoolery, the top 20 2nd basemen for 2017 fantasy baseball was shallow like how Altuve likes his pool water as recently as two years ago, but that was not the case last year, and almost rivaled 1st basemen for depth.  So, that’s the same again this year, right?  Well, let’s see about that.  As always, my projections are included and I mention where I see tiers starting and stopping.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 2nd basemen for 2017 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Top 20 1st Basemen for 2017 Fantasy Baseball

January 19, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 199 Comments

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Yesterday, I went over the top 20 catchers for 2017 fantasy baseball, and, today, you guessed it (if you didn’t read the title and just fell here from outer space), it’s the top 20 1st baseman for 2017 fantasy baseball.  Something weird happened last year — okay, a lot weird happened last year, but I’m going to focus on fantasy baseball.  Middle infield got deep and 1st base got shallow.  I have some theories why this happened.  First theory, a lot of kids who are playing now grew up watching Bret Boone and Alex Rodriguez and their frosted hair and, like a moth to a flame, or peroxide to a hairstyle, kids became middle infielders.  Second theory, it happened just cuz.  So, I don’t have a lot of theories on it, per se, but offense is deep this year, but not 1st basemen.  My projections are included, and here’s all of our fantasy baseball rankings.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 1st basemen for 2017 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Top 20 Catchers for 2017 Fantasy Baseball

January 18, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 180 Comments

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After going over my top 10 for 2017 fantasy baseball and top 20 for 2017 fantasy baseball (clickbait!), I move onto the one post all year that make all the ladies say ‘Ooooh…’ The manner in which those ladies in question say ‘Ooooh…’ is as such, “Ooooh…So, are we going to the mall after you’re done reading that fantasy baseball nonsense or can we go now and, while I’m shopping, you sit outside Orange Julius reading that shizz while I’m dropping buckets of duckets on earrings?  And, no, we can’t go to Lush so you can play with the handmade soaps.”  It’s better if we leave it at, this post makes all the ladies say ‘Ooooh…’  The ellipsis says enough, I think.  The projections noted in the post are my own, and I mention where tiers start and stop.  I also mention a bunch of hullabaloo, so let’s get to it.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 catchers for 2017 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Top 20 for 2017 Fantasy Baseball

January 17, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 255 Comments

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Yesterday, I went over the top 10 for 2017 fantasy baseball.  Today, I throw out preconceived notions, drink some potions and lather up my body with lotions as I sloppily slip and slide my way through the most precarious top 20 for fantasy baseball I’ve ever encountered.  This top twenty is a blind man playing Twister.  Half the time, I’m grabbing for things not knowing if they’re there or not.  I legit think this top 20 could go countless other ways.  Is countless a widowed Countess?  No, it’s not, it’s a confusing AF top 20 for fantasy baseball.  One bright spot (or sour note if you disagree with me), I finally convinced myself that since I never draft a starter in the top 20, I’m not ranking one here.  If you want to bemoan my (lack of) ranking Kershaw, Scherzer or any pitcher, then bemoan away.  Just remember, a bemoaner sounds a bit to me like “U be a boner.”  All the positional rankings will live under the 2017 fantasy baseball rankings.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 for 2017 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Top 10 for 2017 Fantasy Baseball

January 16, 2017 | 2017 Fantasy Baseball Draft, Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 220 Comments

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I sure wish Grey would do his 2017 fantasy baseball rankings.  Wait, I am Grey and this is those rankings!  I need to sit down.  Wait, I am sitting!  I can’t handle all of this!  I’m going to put on a pair of pants and go dance in the street.  Meh, let’s be honest, pants are a chore.  So, this is the greatest day ever!  Now, only 400,000 words more until I finish my top 500 and I’ll be done.  Worst day ever!  Damn, that excitement was fleeting.  Well, not for you because you don’t have to write all the rankings.  You lucky son of a gun!  I wish I were you… *wavy lines*  Hey, why am I balding and have lost all definition in my buttocks?  *wavy lines*  Hmm, I’m gonna stay me.  Now before we get into the top 10 for 2017 fantasy baseball (though I imagine every single one of you has skipped this intro paragraph), I’m gonna lay down some exposition.  Here’s where you follow us on Twitter.  Here’s where you follow us on Facebook.  Here’s our fantasy baseball player rater.  Here’s our fantasy baseball team name generator.  Here is all of our 2017 fantasy baseball rankings.  Here’s the position eligibility chart for 2017 fantasy baseball.  And here is a picture of my son.  What a punim!  You may not get all of those links in such a handy, easy-to-use format ever again this year, so make proper note.  (Unless you just go to the top menu on this page that says “Rankings” and click it, but semantics, my over-the-internet friend, semantics.)  Now my expositional half insists I breakdown some generalizations about these 2017 fantasy baseball rankings.  The 2017 fantasy baseball rankings will be an ever-evolving mass like the blob.  This fantasy baseball top 10 for 2017 list is as of right now and could potentially change with a big injury or Mike Trout quitting baseball because he’s bored with being the best and wants to play competitive Mahjong.  (I’m not sure yet where Trout would rank in my Mahjong Top 10.) So while it is the 2017 fantasy baseball gospel, take it with a tablet of salt.  Tomorrow we will cover the rest of the top twenty for 2017 fantasy baseball, then we will go around the horn with a top 20 (more like 50) list for every position.  Then for pitchers and outfielders, I’ll turn the dial to 100 (more like 140).  Listed with each player are my 2017 projections.  Did I consult with anyone else who does projections?  It would be ignorant not to, but, in the end, these are my projections.  Players need 10 games at a position to get included in the positional rankings.  Finally, as with each list in the 2017 fantasy baseball rankings, I will be mentioning where I see tiers start and stop.  I look at tiers like this, if Jose Altuve and Paul Goldschmidt are in the same tier, it doesn’t matter if one guy is ranked 2nd and one guy is ranked 5th, they’re both very close.  It comes down to personal preference.  I would prefer the guy at number two over the guy at five, but you do you, I’ll do me and let’s hope we don’t go blind.  Anyway, here’s the top 10 for 2017 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Vince Velasquez, 2017 Fantasy Sleeper

January 13, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 138 Comments

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I think I did too many fantasy baseball sleepers that were outfielders.  I should’ve braked earlier and did more starting pitcher sleeper posts.  On Monday, I start the rankings, so individual posts from moi will be on hold until I get out all the rankings.  This was a clumsy way of saying there’s more pitcher sleepers, but they’re gonna have to wait until I’ve finished the rankings.  Actually, that last part was clumsy too.  Any hoo!  Vince Velasquez, or as I call him, Vince Velasquez!  Does he have another name I don’t know about?  VV looks too much like a W, which is like how an inverted W is really just an M.  I think I just did a tangent from my tangent, if my trigonometry knowledge is ack-ewe-rah-teh, which is the pronunciation of accurate according to my bootleg copy of Rosetta Stone.  Ah, we had some good laughs, didn’t we?  Wait, we didn’t?  Aw, man.  Last year, Velasquez had a 10.4 K/9 with a 3.67 xFIP.  His ERA was 4.12 due to an inflated BABIP, a lower LOB% and giving up four-baggers like he was late-starting Catholic schoolgirl.  So, what can we  expect from Vince Velasquez for 2017 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Blake Snell, 2017 Fantasy Sleeper

January 12, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 136 Comments

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Last year, Blake Snell had a 3.54 ERA and a 1.62 WHIP.  Hootie hoo, that’s wonky as all get-out.  For players with that terrible of a WHIP since 2000, there was only one guy under a 4 ERA (Chad Billingsley in 2006 with a 3.80 ERA) and most guys weren’t even below a 5 ERA.  Snell’s walk rate 5.2 was horrific.  *Insert Tyra Banks’ “We were all rooting for you” GIF*  Forget it my dude, you Snell with an em, nah’mean?  So, what else is up, my dudes and five girl dude readers?  Yeah, forget Snell, he’s out of control.  Literally.  Speak on your winter break.  You hit the sauna, you look sweaty?  Oh, you just ran up one flight of steps?  Just one step?  Gotcha.  So what else is new?  *taps finger, scratches chin*  Well, maybe we should look at Snell anyway since we’re here.  I mean, we have the time and you just have anecdotes that involve fast food milkshakes and girls that you think like you that don’t.  So, what can we expect from Blake Snell for 2017 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Robbie Ray, 2017 Fantasy Sleeper

January 10, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 156 Comments

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I legit have called about half the Diamondbacks’ hitters sleepers this year, but when you venture into pitching territory you best come with your guns blazing like Jon Bon Jovi in Blaze of Glory or don’t’s come at all.  I wanted to call Taijuan Walker a sleeper, and I kinda did when I wrote up his trade post (click his name and you’ll get there, I have faith in you).  I don’t think Greinke will be underrated, I can’t stop looking at Patrick Corbin for the damage he did to my psyche last year — I’m damaged, y’all! — and here’s I am for Robbie Ray, Martha Raye’s illegitimate son with Mark Harris.  When I say Ray, you say ‘don’t play.’  Ready?  Ray!  Don’t play!  Ray!  Don’t play!  Ray Fosse!  Musical starring Jamie Foxx with lyrics by Bob Fosse about a 1970s catcher who was lawnmower’d by Pete Rose!  Damn, you’re good!  Last year, Robbie Ray had an ERA of 4.90.  And, this post is over.  Goodbye!  Holy schnikeballs, what the hell do we want with him?  Or more seguey… So what can we expect from Robbie Ray for 2017 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Michael Pineda, 2017 Fantasy Sleeper

January 9, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 176 Comments

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I’ve seen some ‘smarter’ players drafting Michael Pineda way too high.  Like in the top 110 overall.  I don’t care that he had the third highest xFIP last year and the 8th best xFIP in 2015.  I mean, I do care about it, that’s why I’m highlighting him, but I don’t care top 110 overall care.  I’m operating a little without a safety net with the sleepers by not having a strong idea of where guys will be drafted.  I’m merely guessing where guys will be drafted, and I’d bet Pineda will go undrafted in a lot of shallower mixed leagues or after 200 overall in most other leagues.  At that price, he’s a sleeper and I’m interested in his xFIP.  For noobs, xFIP is essentially ERA while removing defense, luck, sequencing and normalizes for homers.  All of those should be self-explanatory except for maybe sequencing.  That means a guy that gives up a single, gets two outs, allows a home run and gets the third out is the same as a pitcher that gives up a home run, a single and then gets three outs, even though the 1st pitcher gave up two runs and the 2nd pitcher gave up one run with the exact same hitter results — a single, a home run and three outs, just in a different order.  All things being equal, a pitcher should be his xFIP self.  It doesn’t work like that for various reasons, but it’s a baseline.  Not quite the same as Humpty Hump’s bass line.  That’s dooooree-doooorit-dooooree-doooorit.  Ricky Nolasco made a career out of frustrating fantasy owners by never returning ERA bottles for his xFIP deposits.  Honestly, if it was just xFIP for Pineda, I wouldn’t even be writing this post, but it’s not, and with that…So, what can we expect from Michael Pineda for 2017 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Nomar Mazara, 2017 Fantasy Sleeper

January 6, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 178 Comments

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Here’s a fun list:

Carlos Gonzalez — 424.6 feet
Giancarlo Stanton — 422.8
Trevor Story — 420.3
Nomar Mazara — 415.8

A) Surprised to not see Cespedes since he started with 100 feet  B) Hot damn, Nomar!  C) There’s no C.  If you haven’t guessed, that’s the top distances averaged on home runs for players with at least 18 homers last year.  Two of the guys were Rockies, i.e., Coors, and the other one was Giancarlo.  Right behind Nomar Mazara was Nelson Cruz, Joc Pederson, Trout and Goldschmidt.  Oh, and tied with Mazara was Mitch Moreland.  Is there a non-home run hitter among these men, I ask sounding like a character from Game of Thrones.  Granted, I do believe it to be true (why do I sound like I’m talking Middle Ages English?) that if someone hits fewer homers there’s gonna be a chance their average distance will be higher.  In other words, Mazara hit 20 homers last year.  If he hit 30 homers, maybe he would’ve hit a few just-outta-heres and his average distance would’ve lowered, but he didn’t so I’m throwing out my theory that I just threw in there.  Don’t ask me why I didn’t just omit it to begin with and don’t end a sentence with with — dah!  If I wanted, I could link to or post a bunch of upper deck blasts by Mazara.  Seriously, he did not get cheated on his dingers.  I personally hate when my dingers are cheated on.  So, what can we expect from Nomar Mazara for 2017 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Randal Grichuk, 2017 Fantasy Sleeper

January 5, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 156 Comments

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Did you just see a cat walk up a stairway twice?  A glitch in the Matrix?  Having deja vu?  Did you just Google deja vu and feel like you had Googled it previously?  Okay, yes, there was a Randal Grichuk sleeper post last year.  When I wrote that Randal Grichuk sleeper post, I gave him the projections of 69/25/82/.253/8.  And, he disappointed.  Can you tell me by how much?  Go ahead, guess.  18 HRs?  40 runs?  50 RBIs?  Well, no.  I mean, yes, he did disappoint, but not by nearly that much.  His end of the season line was 66/24/68/.240/5.  I’m not going to say he made good on my sleeper call, which is different and less Al Qaeda’ey than a sleeper cell, but you have to admit he wasn’t the flop you thought he was.  Okay, don’t admit it.  Live in your frickin’ “I’m always right” bubble!  Quick question, do you have to dust when living in a bubble?  Do you ever blow a bubble while in your bubble to get all meta?  You know what?  I don’t care!  Keep your stupid answers to yourself!  Though, if you wanna DM me the answers, I would appreciate it.  So, what can we expect from Randal Grichuk for 2017 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
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