Adrian Buydonis

Since there were no games this week and players haven’t been able to get hot or cold or humid, this Buy/Sell is going to be slightly different.  This Buy/Sell includes some players that are owned in more than 50% of leagues.  Okay, that’s not different for the Sells, but it does change the Buys.  The other day on our podcast I was asked by JB, “What is the USA Today?”  Because JB was born in the 2000s.  But I was also asked by him who is my biggest buy of the 2nd half.  For that I said, “Um, well, I have to say, actually, actually, actually, my biggest buy is, uh, um, hmm.”  Spit it out, Grey!  You know how your own voice sounds weird?  I wonder if that holds up for the Movie Trailer Guy.  Any the hoo!  My biggest buy was Adrian Beltre.  For s’s and g’s, I looked at Beltre’s 2nd half from last year, it wasn’t great — six homers, zero steals, .308.  Last year, he had 19 homers for the full season and he has 7 homers right now.  So, I don’t think the power is going to come roaring back like he’s Mickey Maris in 1927 with Barry Bonds’s personal trainer.  In my top 100 for the 2nd half of 2015 fantasy baseball (say that fast 117 times!), I gave Beltre 11 homers.  That feels optimistic, but doable.  His fly balls are more or less fine from last year, but he’s getting unlucky with his HRs per fly balls even though his home run distance isn’t terrible.  He’s also been crazy unlucky with his BABIP.  It’s sitting at .263, which would be his lowest since 2003.  Basically, he’s hitting a line drive to the gap and a squirrel is grabbing it, flipping it to an outfielder and Beltre’s being called out because the ball never touched the ground.  If I were struggling at corner and need to take a gamble, I’d trade for Beltre and watch the good times Esther Rolle!  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

BUY

Carlos Santana – I’m harping like your dead guinea pig on a harp in heaven about Santana having a better 2nd half, but I was doing the same thing last year too, and he did bounce back to have a nice 2nd half.  By the by, your dead guinea pig is doing well and says hello.  I must end this seance now.

Carlos Gomez – As I said in the top 100 for the 2nd half, I’m likely just saying Gomez can be better because of what he’s done in past years vs. what he’s done this year.  If there’s one guy I could see getting traded and being huge for six weeks on a new team, it’s Gomez.  I mean in real baseball.  If he’s traded to your fantasy team, I hope he goes on a six-week tear, but Gomez likely won’t know about the trade.  Unless you’re standing outside his house with a fantasy team jersey.

Jose Abreu – This is strictly a Rest of the Season Player Rater buy.  The ROS PR is produced by using Steamer’s projections which are routinely considered the best in the business, so it likely knows more than us, but I honestly don’t trust Abreu for a bounce back.  So it’s your call:  human with a glorious mustache or a machine?

Billy Hamilton – More on Hamilton below.  I promise.

Ken Giles – Last year around this time, I said Papelbon is rumored to be traded at any moment, so grab Giles, and here we are a year later talking the same jizzazz (hmm, that word looks weird).

Jeremy Jeffress – I almost called him Jeffrey Jermess.  I am silly!  (And dopey.)  Do you know what they call a Jewish American Princess who is a germaphobe?  A Jermess.

Jim Johnson – Welcome to the big time, Johnson!  Which is something I’ve never heard before.

Arodys Vizcaino – There’s rumors that Johnson might be traded, so Vizcaino is likely the handcuff.  The Braves trading their closer makes sense, but David Aardsma could also sneak into the closer role, so it’s far from a clear picture and likely shouldn’t be posted on Instagram.

Jason Motte – Oh, man, you guys have the reaction time of Brad Pitt in True Romance.  Motte’s getting saves, people!

Ervin Santana – This is more of a Stream-o-Nator pick for his next start.  You know the Stream-o-Nator, it’s the designated driver for the Hitter-Tron, when Tron overdoes it on motor oil and starts running around naked in a junkyard.

Andrew Heaney – I keep talking about how much I like Heaney, but how he could get bumped from the rotation when Weaver returns.  Well, checkmate (not using that right)!  Reports are saying Shoemaker could be bumped instead, so I’d grab Heaney.

Aaron Nola – I already stashed Nola in one deep league (though, honestly, I drafted him in March and have had him all year).  Not totally sure why the Phils haven’t called him up yet, but, knowing the Phils, they prolly think they traded Nola away years ago.  What makes Nola attractive is his high cheekbones, and his great control.  He looks capable of a very low 2 BB/9, which means if he gets hit in the majors, the damage will likely be contained.  The excellent news is he can touch 96 MPH on his fastball.  Since he pitches in the NL East, he’ll be an add in every league once he’s called up, so if you want to get a jump on your leaguemates, grab him now.

Kyle Schwarber – Miguel Montero jammed his thumb and is out six weeks.  Reminds me of the time Marion Barry jammed his thumb on a crack pipe and screamed bloody murder.  Or maybe I’m thinking of my maw-maw’s marionberry jam.  Tomato-tah-moo-toe!  Schwarber was called up and is ready to do damage like every Schwarber in the world that isn’t a pharmacist (none).  If you need me to explain who Schwarber is, then I have a question for you, how much do you spend on electricity to light under that rock where you live?  Prospect Mike just ranked Schwarber on his top 50 prospects list-a-ma-whosie and Schwarber has a chance to be the biggest call-up left this year for redrafts and I would grab him in every league and this is the world’s longest sentence, congratulate me.

C.J. Cron – I drafted Cron on multiple teams and he was my last round pick that I thought could’ve hit 30 homers.  Think a very cheap Brandon Moss.  Call him Cheap Moss.  Unfortch, things happened to Cron, namely The Sciosciapath, but he’s back and hitting (and playing for now).

Rob Refsnyder – Just went over my Rob Refsnyder fantasy.  Are you my brother Rob or Disco Bob?!  (Five over-the-internet dollars if you get that reference.)

Rougned Odor – I can’t tell yet if I love, hate or am indifferent on Odor, making him baking soda.  He has great speed (27 steals in the minors one year), but hasn’t shown an ounce of that.  He’s had good power in the minors (10 homers one year), but not a ton of that either.  I’m willing to grab him, but I’m still on the fence.

Brad Miller – He’s on pace for a 15/15 season and a sleeper post from me next year and you throwing tomatoes at your computer screen.

Jarrod Dyson – SAGNOF!  That link there, click it.  It’s not a link to the glossary term.  It’s to a picture of frequent commenter, Jacques Jones’s hand.  Why link to a picture of a reader’s hand?  Well, because he got a SAGNOF tattoo!  What?!  Seriously, if you think you’re a hardcore Razzball reader, you’re not because Jacques just turned hardcore up to eleven.  To top Jacques, you need to now get a SAGNOF tramp stamp or face tattoo.  Nothing else will be accepted.

Khris Davis – I just went over my Khris Davis fantasy.  I wrote it in 8-point font, then put it under water to expand the letters.

Marlon Byrd – Just look at his stats vs. Trumbo.  Byrd vs. Yelich.  Byrd vs. Magic.

SELL

Billy Hamilton – Okay, Imma let you finish, but you have Billy H.A.M.-a-steal as a Buy and Sell.  Good joke, Grey, but I’m not laughing very much.  Yeah, I know I put Hamilton as both a Buy and a Sell.  I did that to show that a lot of trades are needs-based at this point.  Do you needs yourself some steals?  Then buy him!  Do you not needs no steals or grammar books?  Then sell him!  If I could gain three or more points in steals without losing points in power, I’d make some pretty ridiculous trades to acquire Hamilton.

Michael Brantley – This sell depends on needs too, but if you need something besides batting average, runs and RBIs, and something hardcore like HRs and SBs, then I would sell Brantley.  I wouldn’t sell low.  I don’t think he’s bad, I just don’t think he’s that good either.  Fine looking landscaping, Grey, I love those hedges!

Evan Longoria – I should preface this by saying I would sell Longoria if I could find someone to actually pay a decent price for him.  Doode’s career power trajectory looks like David Wright, but at least he provided 15 steals.

Kyle Seager – I was trying to squeeze Seager into my top 100 for the 2nd half, then I was like, “Grey, you’re handsome, smart and other words for those two traits.  You’ll find a way to squeeze in Seager if you really think he belongs.  Also, what are we having for lunch?”  At the end of the day, that day specifically, I decided Seager didn’t offer that much upside to warrant inclusion in the top 100, and his batted ball profile suggests he might not be more than a 8-homer, .260 2nd half hitter, which could be more or less Plouffe.  That’s right, a Plouffe comparison.  Ouch.

Zack Greinke – Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, he won’t have a 1.39 ERA all year as he does right now.  Don’t need a bachelor’s from the Fantasy Baseball College of Charleston to know that, though it doesn’t hurt for the ol’ resume.  You can be Daniel Holden, fresh out of jail, and know that.  (By the way, Rectify might be the best TV show on right now.)  I’m not just talking about Greinke’s ERA.  His K/9 is 7.7.  That’s decent…for a number three fantasy starter.  A.J. Burnett or Greinke?  Well, Greinke, but they’re really not very far apart.  Right now, Greinke has the 40th best K-rate around that of C.J. Wilson and Hellickson.  Gio Gonzalez or Greinke?  Again, Greinke, but they could be relatively the same difference in the 2nd half.  I’m not saying sell Greinke for a t-shirt that says, “I’m a Glambert,” with Adam Lambert’s face on it, but I’d explore options.