So, how’s everyone holding up without baseball every day? I don’t know what to do with myself! Yesterday I wandered into a Starbucks and told the coffeerista about German Marquez for 2019. Then I sobbed into a cheddar scone until someone asked me to leave. We’ve gone over the final 2018 fantasy baseball rankings for hitters and the top 20 starters. This is different than Final Fantasy rankings where you rank Final Fantasy 1 thru Final Fantasy 15. That’s hardcore nerd shizz! This is simply fantasy baseball — we’re softcore nerds like Emmanuelle is to porn. So, there’s no more of these godforsaken recap posts left. You’re welcome. I, my over-the-internet friend, will be talking next about 2019 rookies. Anyway, here’s the top 40 starters for 2018 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:
21. German Marquez – Seeing two Rockies starters in the first 21 starters, especially after drafting Jon Gray in multiple leagues, makes me feel like Stan Gable seeing his Pi in that tin. By the way, it’s hard to watch Revenge of the Nerds now and not think, “Wow, Lewis going in a dark room and having sex with a girl who thinks he’s someone else feels a lot like rape.” Preseason Rank #131, 2018 Projections: 11-10/4.31/1.33/158 in 171 IP, Final Numbers: 14-11/3.77/1.20/230 in 196 IP
22. Jameson Taillon – Putting up a season like this, he must’ve had a ball! *moonwalks to another one testicle joke* I’ll save you for next year! Preseason Rank #48, 2018 Projections: 10-7/3.51/1.29/141 in 152 IP, Final Numbers: 14-10/3.20/1.18/179 in 191 IP
23. Rick Porcello – And we have our first starter with a 4+ ERA at 23 overall. Ha, so bad. I mean, bad bad bad. Not bad as in good. Bad as in poop emoji. Preseason Rank #73, 2018 Projections: 13-11/4.12/1.27/175 in 195 IP, Final Numbers: 17-7/4.28/1.18/190 in 191 1/3 IP
24. Zack Wheeler – Take a moment to laugh that Wheeler got more wins than deGrom, then abruptly stop your laughter because Wheeler had a better ERA and WHIP than deGrom in the 2nd half. Preseason Rank #88, 2018 Projections: 6-8/3.89/1.35/99 in 104 IP, Final Numbers: 12-7/3.31/1.12/179 in 182 1/3 IP
25. James Paxton – May not have notched 200+ Ks if he only threw 142 IP like I projected, but you can take back those 18 extra innings and give me back a decent ERA. I guess I forgot pitchers are terrible nowadays. Oddly enough, pitchers are terrible, yet hitters strike out more now than at any point in the history of baseball. *scratches head* Hey, what gives? Preseason Rank #26, 2018 Projections: 13-6/3.09/1.07/165 in 142 IP, Final Numbers: 11-6/3.76/1.10/208 in 160 1/3 IP
26. Kyle Hendricks – Hendricks in Wrigley *air guitar lick* The Wind cries scary for fly balls. Thankfully, Hendricks gets by on ground balls and is about one of the safest do-nothing-exciting starters. Preseason Rank #38, 2018 Projections: 13-8/3.54/1.24/156 in 178 IP, Final Numbers: 14-11/3.44/1.15/161 in 199 IP
27. Jhoulys Chacin – This guy and the next met this postseason and Chacin was the one I wanted, which becomes slightly crumby with crackers when you see the next guy is Kershaw. Chacin continues to float between the raindrops without getting wet as he beats his xFIP like Pauly D beats back the beat. Preseason Rank #100, 2018 Projections: 9-11/4.51/1.41/143 in 172 IP, Final Numbers: 15-8/3.50/1.16/156 in 192 2/3 IP
28. Clayton Kershaw – This is about last year, er, um, this year, but next year? Does Kershaw break the top 10? He can’t stay healthy anymore, and he’s showing all kinds of signs of aging. And not the good kinds of aging like Cougars and wine. Sippin’ the Cougarnnay? Chardoncougarnay? Cougdonnay? Okay, moving on! Preseason Rank #2, 2018 Projections: 17-6/2.51/0.94/225 in 202 IP, Final Numbers: 9-5/2.73/1.04/155 in 161 1/3 IP
29. Walker Buehler – Hate, hate, haaaaaaaate with extended ‘a’ emphasis that Buehler threw so many innings this year (with the postseason too). Dave Roberts ruined Buehler until 2020, and that’s a big-time optimistic hopefully because, when he comes down with Tommy Johnitis next May, he could be out until 2021-22. Preseason Rank #117, 2018 Projections: 4-2/3.33/1.18/75 in 63 IP, Final Numbers: 8-5/2.62/0.96/151 in 137 1/3 IP
30. Jon Lester – Saberhagenmetricians will tell you just look at Lester’s ERAs from year to year and I’m done fighting it. You’re right, Saberhagen-heads! Preseason Rank #43, 2018 Projections: 12-10/3.94/1.28/177 in 183 IP, Final Numbers: 18-6/3.32/1.31/149 in 181 2/3 IP
31. Jose Berrios – His numbers tell us he was a hair better than Syndergaard (not judging on hair, literally, obviously), but Berrios’ numbers are a lot more impressive. Those Ks! The walks fell from his previous year! Was able to start 32 games! Okay, the last one is more of a participation exclamation mark. Preseason Rank #29, 2018 Projections: 13-9/3.72/1.19/170 in 174 IP, Final Numbers: 12-11/3.84/1.14/202 in 192 1/3 IP
32. Noah Syndergaard – His 2nd half has more warning signs than an Uber driver toasting you with a shot of whiskey when you get in the car. His 2nd half K/9 was 8.1, walk rate was 2.6 and a 3.55 xFIP. Maybe there’s signs of bad luck, but good luck with that. Preseason Rank #6, 2018 Projections: 15-10/2.81/1.06/215 in 184 IP, Final Numbers: 13-4/3.03/1.21/155 in 154 1/3 IP
33. Trevor Williams – I loved this guy. I wrote a sleeper post for him when everyone else was like, “Seriously, who?” But, I mean, his Ks are hilarious. You’re about to see why I’m one of the greatest ‘perts in this biz because I’m about to flip from loving a guy to not wanting any part of him at the snap of a finger. Hmm, can you snap only one finger? Preseason Rank #58, 2018 Projections: 11-9/3.87/1.27/158 in 178 IP, Final Numbers: 14-10/3.11/1.18/126 in 170 2/3 IP
34. Masahiro Tanaka – His 2nd half ERA this year: 2.85. His 2nd half ERA the previous year was 2 runs lower than his 1st half. He’s like Jon Lester on a very small sample. Drink that PABST! Post-All-star Break Stats from Tanaka! (Eat a D, Teixeira!) Preseason Rank #23, 2018 Projections: 14-9/3.49/1.14/205 in 194 IP, Final Numbers: 12-6/3.75/1.13/159 in 156 IP
35. Jack Flaherty – Once again, never underestimate the Cardinals with starters. They always get guys to perform, it’s just never the same guys. Next year, Bud Norris will be converted to the rotation and be a top 40 starter. Preseason Rank #76, 2018 Projections: 9-8/3.64/1.29/129 in 137 IP, Final Numbers: 8-9/3.34/1.11/182 in 151 IP
36. Rich Hill – I found this funnier than I likely should’ve, but Rich Hill began his career in 2005. That’s a long time ago, think we can agree on that. His career total in wins? 61! Rich Hill has less wins than he’s had blisters! Preseason Rank #28, 2018 Projections: 11-6/3.14/1.13/155 in 132 IP, Final Numbers: 11-5/3.66/1.12/150 in 132 2/3 IP
37. Sean Manaea – *pours a bottle of liquor out for Manaea* Preseason Rank #63, 2018 Projections: 11-11/4.11/1.35/152 in 177 IP, Final Numbers: 12-9/3.59/1.08/108 in 160 2/3 IP
38. Mike Fiers – There is so much pitching available I picked up Fiers in July in a 15-team league. He had a 3.34 ERA in the 2nd half. Bravo, kudos, yadda, nice pick up, I know. Now put on your 1940’s aviation helmet because I’m about to blow your mind. He had a 3.70 ERA in the 1st half! He should’ve been owned all year, but there’s a lot of pitching even in deeper mixed leagues. Preseason Rank #101, 2018 Projections: 7-13/4.64/1.40/153 in 168 IP, Final Numbers: 12-8/3.56/1.18/139 in 172 IP
39. Eduardo Rodriguez – Not saying he’s going to be Trevor Bauer next year, but Ed-Rod’s stats are pointing directly to a break out for next year. His 10.1 K/9 and 3.1 BB/9 alone could make him legendary. All he needs to do is return with the same Ks and get his walks down a half walk per nine and throw 175 innings. Okay, okay, OKAY! This is about the past year, next year, but Ed-Rod is only 25 and *shoves arm in face* I have goosebumps! *you look down and see a Goosebumps tattoo* What, the sequel looks good? Preseason Rank #79, 2018 Projections: 7-3/3.84/1.26/105 in 98 IP, Final Numbers: 13-5/3.82/1.26/146 in 129 2/3 IP
40. Anibal Sanchez – Rip up all preseason starter rankings. Seriously. Something no one will tell you, but you honestly should just focus on guys who you like vs. actual rankings, because starters are an absolute crapshoot, which is smellier than a turkey shoot and twice as messy. Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 7-6/2.83/1.08/135 in 136 2/3 IP
