You’re gonna find this utterly incredible, but, with these top 100 starters for 2014 fantasy baseball, I’ve put out all of my 2014 fantasy baseball rankings. Tomorrow will be the top 100 overall, then the top 400 overall, but that’s just putting everyone in perspective. I’m going to now soak my finger bunions in pickle juice and read a good book. Anyone read the Charles Nelson Reilly autobiography? I hear it’s a real eye grabber. Oh, guess I should finish this post first. As always, my projections are included and where tiers start and stop. Anyway, here’s the top 100 starters for 2014 fantasy baseball:
81. Nathan Eovaldi – I called this tier, “Lottery tickets.” This tier started in the top 80 starters for 2014 fantasy baseball and ends at Bradley. He’s in the same ball of wax as Cashner and Wily Peralta (Eovaldi wasn’t included in previous posts because he hasn’t pitched close to a full season). Somehow he threw 96+ MPH, which is up there with the best in the majors, and only had a 6.60 K-rate. Here’s a hint for all you hard-throwing non-K specialists, stop throwing so many strikes. If Edinson Volquez was hired to be the pitching coach in Miami, Eovaldi would be a 9+ K-rate guy…and have 5+ walks per nine, an ERA over 6 and accidentally throw a pitch into the broadcast booth. If Eovaldi can put his shizz together, he could be a number two fantasy starter. I likey, but more likely… 2014 Projections: 7-11/3.78/1.34/144
82. Alex Wood – The good — he’s young, he gets strikeouts, groundballs and could be a number one fantasy ace. The downside, I might’ve just ranked my first middle reliever. Wouldn’t be shocked at all if the Braves put him in a bullpen role for most of 2014. I imagine at some point during the summer I’ll be saying something like, “Hey, guys and four girls, Alex Wood is now in the rotation, grab him!” Then further in the future saying, “Hey, peeps and four peepettes, Wood’s back in the bullpen, drop him.” Then further in the future saying, “Hey, gentlemen and four gentle ladies, did you see that flying car? It looked like a bird. Member those? They were around before the bird-eating trees sprouted all over the planet.” 2014 Projections: 8-2/3.71/1.31/141
83. Marco Estrada – There will be at least one if not more pitchers from this tier that shoot up the rankings for next year. Estrada could be one of those guys. He almost snuck into the tier in the top 60 starters for 2014 fantasy baseball of guys that were ‘Thisclose.’ The problem is Estrada’s Mr. Dreaded Three-Run Homer. It’s hard to keep your ERA respectable when you’re Mr. Dreaded Three-Run Homer unless you pitched 9 innings every start and only give up one dreaded three-run homer. Another issue, he’s gonna be 31 years old and he’s never pitched more than 138 1/3 innings in a season. So, he’s capable of a fantasy number two season, but is likely a streamer that’s good for a month or two here and there. Sky also went over his Marco Estrada sleeper. 2014 Projections: 8-7/3.60/1.12/124
84. Dan Straily – Another thing this tier has in common is the unlikelihood (which was the lesser-seen sequel to Boyz n da Hood) that any of these guys pitch 175+ innings. If they were to pitch 175 innings, then they would be in a higher tier. All the guys, that is, except Straily. I could see him getting 175 innings. He’s being shortchanged a bit due to his track record of never throwing 200 innings in the major leagues. He really should be up there in Quintana’s tier. Yay. The reason why he’s a lottery ticket is at one point he was the minor league K leader. It’s very3 doubtful he ever gets those types of Ks again, but there ya go. 2014 Projections: 12-11/3.88/1.28/145
85. Jake Odorizzi – With the news that Hellickson needs elbow surgery coupled with the news that elbow surgery is bad for pitchers, Odorizzi gets a looksie. I’m not sure how long Odorizzi will stay in the rotation because A) Hellickson could return. B) Maddon likes to give everyone a look. Maybe he’s waiting for a compliment on his glasses. C) There’s no C. Even if Odorizzi stays in the rotation all year (very doubtful), he hasn’t shown a whole lot yet in the majors. 2014 Projections: 7-6/3.79/1.25/104 in 130 innings
86. Alex Torres – Boing! You sexy, Torres, I want to have your Torres babies and move to Curacao and open a Jamba Juice with our babies doing all the work while I collect the money. Alas, he might be nothing but a middle reliever this year. A dang good middle reliever, but a middle reliever never the hooless. I’d definitely gamble a dollar on him and do think he will be worthwhile to own even if he doesn’t start. 2014 Projections: 4-2/3.12/1.08/71, 3 saves in 69 innings
87. Tyson Ross – A) A number one starter on the Padres may not win ten games. B) Ross has never thrown more than 125 IP in a major league season and he’s already going to be 27. C) There’s no C. D) These were the reasons I originally didn’t rank him, but due to popular demand and Sky’s Tyson Ross sleeper post, I decided to add him (plus I was here adding Doubront anyway). 2014 Projections: 7-6/3.72/1.30/133
88. Felix Doubront – Due to Dempster’s inability to live up to JB’s hype and the undue pressure that has put on him, Dempster’s taking the season off to spend time with his family and track down JB and tell him to stop calling him a sleeper. Because of the Dempster/JB triangle that’s more like a parallel line, Doubront should get into the Sox rotation. 2014 Projections:
89. Carlos Martinez – The Cardinals have #firstplaceinthestandingsproblems. There’s no way Carlos Martinez gets in the rotation for any lengthy amount of time. He also didn’t show much while in the bullpen last year, but I’m willing to overlook that due to such a small sample size (that’s what she said). I’m guessing you’ll see Martinez get about seven starts all year and around seventy innings in the bullpen. 2014 Projections: 8-5/3.22/1.14/89 in 105 innings
94. Cory Luebke – The Padres GM said Luebke might pitch out of the bullpen to start 2014. Well, technically he said, “Hey, I don’t want to give our fans any false hope. Would I prefer to have our best pitcher in the rotation? Sure. But what if we win a three game series in April? What kind of message does that send? That we’re winners. That would be lying. Not cool.” UPDATE: Out with Tommy John surgery. Damn you, Tommy John! 2014 Projections: 5-7/3.34/1.11/98
90. Derek Holland – He was ranked about forty spots higher before he needed (kneeded?) surgery and was ruled out until the All-Star break. Honestly, I never really liked him anyway, so it gives us (me) an excuse to bury him in the rankings. 2014 Projections: 6-2/3.61/1.29/91
91. Brandon Morrow – Pencil him in right now for seven of the best starts you’ve ever seen, five of the worst starts and a trip to the Disgraceful List after revealing he was pitching his last three starts without a gall bladder. 2014 Projections: 8-6/3.95/1.32/90
92. Kyle Drabek – Last year he had a 11.57 K/9…WHOA!…It was in two and a third innings…OH. If Drabek can convince himself the baseball season is made up of 100 different two and third inning increments, we could be in for a huge breakout. Of course that would mean he’d also give up about 250 walks and have an ERA over 19. Quibble, quibble, you. 2014 Projections: 6-10/4.21/1.37/95
93. Jameson Taillon – I already went over my Jameson Taillon fantasy. It was written in pencil then I copied it over in pen. 2014 Projections: 8-5/3.72/1.25/98 in 105 IP
94. Archie Bradley – I already went over my Archie Bradley fantasy. I wrote it while debating the merits of a ride-along Roomba. 2014 Projections: 6-5/4.14/1.34/85 in 90 innings
95. Zach McAllister – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until the end of the list. I call this tier, “Throw it on auto-draft and go have sex with your loved one. It doesn’t matter.” Some time when you can’t sleep ask a ‘pert for an explanation for why they drafted Zach McAllister. Good times! “Well, see, he could be a solid addition to my AL-Only–” *snooze* “I really like his 6.77 K/9–” *snore* “He does the small things–” *let out a sleep fart* 2014 Projections: 10-12/4.07/1.35/140
96. Trevor Cahill – If a 8+ K/9 coupled with a 2+ BB/9 gets in my good graces, Cahill’s 6+ K/9 with a near-4 BB/9 has me scratching my be-gentle-with stuff. 2014 Projections: 10-12/4.11/1.38/129
97. A.J. Griffin – This is what I said last year, “Alfredo Jettuccine gave up a league leading 36 homers in 2013. Imagine if he would’ve pitched his home games in Coors. He would’ve challenged the pre-World War II record by Jasper “Toothy” Jennings, who gave up 156 homers in one year. Toothy, you might remember, was banned from the game after Kenesaw Mountain Landis found teeth marks on his wife’s inner thigh.” And that’s me quoting me! That doesn’t mean anything, but it made me giggle. Kudos to my monkey ghostwriters. For Griffin to get his ERA down to the low 3’s, he needs to stop throwing meatballs and getting creamed, which might be an issue for a guy named after fettuccine alfredo. He does play in the park where they hired Lorena Bobbitt to shorten its name from Oh-It’s-Big.co to O.co, so it’s possible. UPDATE: Alfredo Jettuccine has elbow problems. 2014 Projections: 9-10/4.14/1.26/118
98. Wei-Yin Chen – It’s funny how excited I’ll get about some of these guys during the season when they’re on waivers compared to how apathetic I am about them now. Not funny ha-ha, more like funny “Hmm, your thinkings interest me.” 2014 Projections: 10-12/4.11/1.29/144
99. Charlie Morton – Here’s what I said this offseason, “Re-signed with the Pirates. Char-Mo isn’t just a now-defunct charcoal grill accessories store extension to Bev-Mo, but is a pitcher that no one wants on their fantasy team, until they’re down 6-4 in their H2H league and Char-Mo’s pitching on Sunday. I feel ya on that. Not literally, you don’t have to wash your hair. Nothing exciting about Morton for fantasy. About as average as can be.” And that’s me copying and pasting me! 2014 Projections: 9-8/3.81/1.31/103
100. Edinson Volquez – Here’s what I said this offseason, “Signed with the Pirates. Here’s Major League Baseball sitting at the poker table with Ray Searage, pitching coach for the Pirates. We see what you did with Francisco Liriano and we raise you…Edinson Volquez! The crowd goes silent. The odds pop up on the screen for a sub-3.00 ERA turning over on the river. Ooh, 5,000 to 1. And Ray pulls a ’190 Ks in 2014′ card to win! Incredible!” And that’s me plagiarizing me! BTW, is it me or is it weird to make plagiarizing such a hard word to spell? You’re forced to copy it from somewhere else. 2014 Projections: 10-12/4.27/1.51/159
After the top 100 starters for 2014 fantasy baseball, there’s a lot of names but here’s a few that stand out:
Kris Medlen – Medlen’s getting the short end of the there’s-so-many-effin-starters stick. He’s around the 35th best starter, but I just couldn’t find a way to squeeze him into the last two starter posts. He lacks any real upside, which is odd considering how terrific his 2012 was (1.57 ERA in 138 IP). The problem, his upside is fairly neutral with a below average fastball. He can’t be a 8+ K-rate, sub-2 ERA guy over the course of a season with an 89-ish MPH fastball. Though, he is damn effective. He’s also safe for a 3.50-ish ERA, which just goes back to my original point I’ve made about fourteen dozen times, don’t draft top starters. UPDATE: Kris would be okay if not for those Medlen forearms. 2014 Projections: 8-3/3.89/1.23/104
Jon Niese – I’m sure there will be a few weeks, maybe even months, when he’s a capable fantasy starter for all leagues. At that point, I’ll sniff him out on waivers like I’m wearing his old nose. UPDATE: Injured elbow which isn’t Niese, I mean nice. 2014 Projections: 8-9/3.87/1.37/112
Jhoulys Chacin – The bad news is he had a 5.75 K-rate last year and he pitches in Coors. The good news is you don’t have to be the one to try and spell Jhoulys to a Starbucks barista. UPDATE: Shoulder inflammation in the spring. So a pitcher you didn’t want, you now really don’t want. 2014 Projections: 9-7/4.03/1.33/107
Jaime Garcia – I heard Garcia said he’s gonna be healthy this year. Weird how no one else is saying it. 2014 Projections: 8-4/3.84/1.31/104
Danny Duffy – Fun fact! Duffy woke up from a dream to realize the whole 2011 season when he had a 5.64 ERA never happened. Or he’s severely delusional. 2014 Projections: 6-10/4.22/1.37/110
Carlos Carrasco – Fun Fact, Part II! On Carrasco’s side, it lists his ingredients: water, vinegar and hot peppers. 2014 Projections: 5-9/4.31/1.35/112
Tyler Thornburg – Last year, he had a 2.03 ERA. You don’t want to know anymore or it’ll just ruin it. 2014 Projections: 8-11/4.01/1.31/137
Jarred Cosart – His walk rate was bigger than his K-rate, so, without sliding my finger across the screen to his xFIP compared to his 1.95 ERA, I’m gonna guess he was a tad lucky. Tad Lucky was also the AVN Male Up-And-Comer of the Year. 2014 Projections: 6-12/4.42/1.42/94
Jeremy Hellickson – After the news came out that he’d be out until May with elbow surgery, Rudy said finally Hellickson’s April FIP will match his April ERA. Yup. 2014 Projections: 6-8/4.43/1.28/86
Jenrry Mejia – Jenrry had terrific numbers last year — 8.89 K/9, 1.32 BB/9 and a 2.30 ERA. Only catch was it was in only 27 1/3 IP and in previous years he never came close to those numbers. There’s a chance here for a lot more than this, but it’s hard to project a guy for a ton when he’s never had more than 40 innings in the major leagues. 2014 Projections: 5-7/3.89/1.24/89
Phil Hughes – Here’s what I said this offseason about Hughes, “To the Twins. A change of scenery could do him well. It would be even better if he were going to be pitching in Kyrgyzstan where the hitters are goats with fly swatters taped to their leg. Hughes in the American League is still only going to get us so far. It is better that he’s out of New York. That stadium wasn’t doing him any favors. He had more gopher balls than a spay & neutering doctor who specializes in rodents and was on a very special Hoarders. Hughes has been terrific in Hubert H. Homerfree Retrodome, but that was against a Twins team that would be improved with a few fly-swatting goats playing on the left side of the infield. Plouffe goes the insult! In 375 2/3 IP, he had a 4.10 ERA in away games. That sounds about right. He’ll need to get lucky to beat that by a lot.” And that’s me quoting me! 2014 Projections: 8-12/4.01/1.25/160
Josh Beckett – Member last year when JB said Beckett was a sleeper? Ah, we had some good laughs, over-the-internet friend. A good hardy-har-har or two. And here we are again. Instead of Beckett, I could’ve just as easily listed John “Maybe I’ll Get Lucky” Lackey, Mike “I Gotta Take A” Leake, Ross “Dress For Less” Detwiler, Jeff “Niemann!” Niemann, “Raising” Jason Vargas, Bruce “Not Joyce” Chen, Wade “Be” Davis, Bronson “I Make My Fastball Work By Throwing A 47 MPH Changeup” Arroyo, Barry “You Call That A Changeup, Arroyo, Looks Like A Fastball To Me” Zito, Mark “Once A Year I Throw A Gem” Buehrle, All Hodgepadres, Gavin “MacLeod” Floyd or I could’ve listed any other veteran pitcher here, and I kinda just did. 2014 Projections: 9-7/4.24/1.29/109
