(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH.)
“Ayo, this is Joey in the People Interested in Zee Zee #1 Americans — aka PIZZA, we serve the people who serve it — how may I direct your call? I’m very sorry, you’re looking for Tony — bada bing bada boom — he’s in charge of helping people put up Xmas lights. That department doesn’t open until August.” Phone rings with another call, “Ayo, this is Joey in the People Interested in Zee Zee #1 Americans — aka PIZZA, we serve the people who serve it. You’re wondering about Vinnie Pasquantino and Nick Pratto? Ayo, bada bing bada boom, letta me pull up Minor League Stats dot com, ayy, and see what we have here. Vinnie Pasquantino is 24 years old, and he’s got 15 HRs in 52 games at Triple-A. Ayy, what kind of cheap ess-oh-bees are these Royals they don’t promote my boy, Vinnie? I oughta date their sister and call her by my mother’s name to insult her, ya know whadda I mean? Vinnie’s also hitting .280+ with great contact? Va fangool! He should be up already? What, they need Carlos Santana? He should get sent to the Phils, so he can reunite with Rob Thomson. Okay, let me see this here Nick Pratto. Oh, he’s younger and his numbers are not nearly as good, and that hurts for me to say, being Joey, the Front Desk Ambassador at PIZZA. Yeah, I just like Vinnie Pasquantino right now. Ayo, waddya know, bada bing bada boom. Thanks for calling!” I agree with Joey from PIZZA. Vinnie Pasquantino should be called up soon, and Pratto looks like he needs more seasoning. Maybe some oregano? It’s not a stretch to say the Royals need a yoot movement. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?