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The early bird gets the worm, and nowhere else are there more worms to be had than the waiver wire of available relief pitchers in your league. Each year we watch the demise of established capital-C “Closers”, who cost fantasy managers a decent penny in draft price, as other fantasy managers scoop up their understudy […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’m having this weird feeling. It’s not gas; I know what that feels like. It’s not anger that my neighbor planted a tree that smells like semen on my property line. It’s…I think…extreme happiness? I hate my AL-Only teams usually, but I kinda like this team. Oh, it has its flaws, we’ll get to those, but, is this. Dot dot dot. Bliss? I never love my AL-Only teams. Sometimes, I’m okay with them. Sometimes, I’m unhappy with them but pretend to be okay with them, like a sad clown with a painted-on smile. But “kinda like” an AL-Only team?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Well hello there, Razz-folken!

Sorry, I’m working my way through Stephen King’s Dark Tower series (on Book 6 of seven — fantastic, trippy, masterful stuff), which contains some very interesting folken indeed. So that’s where that came from.

I’ve got some news for y’all. I am no longer the Injury Guru around these parts. I had my fill of ’em last year, let me tell you. Not sure my brain could handle tracking all that madness for another season (assuming we even get a full one…). Alas, the ever-so-talented-and-witty Keelin Billue will be manning the Ambulance Chasers column. Instead, I’ve become the official Bullpen Guru of Razzball! In addition to the weekly SAGNOF recaps, I’ll be in charge of our brand-spankin’ new Bullpen Chart, tracking who’s closing and who’s setting up across the MLB. Side note: I’m still waiting for the day SVHD becomes the standard category.

What I’ve got for y’all is just a good old-fashioned tiered ranking (catered toward the 12-team standard 5×5 audience). I could pretend I’m doing this for the people, but really this is as much for me as it is for you, dear reader. I’ve had my fantasy hockey helmet on, helping Viz over the on the Razzball Hockey side of things. Haven’t paid the best attention to the goings on in MLB — I could use a little brush up on how bullpens are looking.

Welp, I’ll quit dillydallying and get right to it. I’ll update these rankings eventually as things change throughout the course of the offseason. Some big names are still homeless as of now (you can find notes on them under the rankings themselves). These rankings stem from a combination of my genius brain and Rudy’s projections, which of course you can see over on the World Famous Razzball Player Rater.

I lied; I’ve got a little more dillydallying to do. I want to make it clear this is a focus solely on guys in closer situations. I’m looking at this through the lens of saves. I would personally rather own a Devin Williams type than a crappy closer like Cole Sulser in most instances, but I didn’t want to jumble up my tiers with guys who aren’t likely to get saves with any kind of regularity. Devin Williams, Craig Kimbrel, Jonathan Loaisiga, etc. do not appear in what you’ll see below. Maybe I’ll get around to some HAGNOF rankings, but you can always pop over to the Bullpen Chart and the Player Rater to find guys to help you with holds. And one last note: even though you see numbered rankings, they’re more of a formality. I treat everyone pretty much equally within their respective tiers, and it could shake out to where any one of them could out-rank the other. Is that a cop out for “hindsight is 20/20” purposes? Maybe! Oh, and the stats you see are 2021’s totals. Duh.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Shane Bieber is headed to the IL with a shoulder strain. Turns out his shoulder was being held in its socket with Spider Tack. Shane Bieber being touched up by the Mariners now makes more sense. Still not great to hear. I’m sure his owners would take a bad outing vs. an unknown-length-of-time IL stint. These injuries rarely just fix themselves, and most times they’re never themselves, until an offseason rest sesh. By the way, is anyone ever says “sesh” in any context in real life, you’re allowed to punch them. Those are the rules. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Bobby bombs! Cleveland first baseman Bobby Bradley has been hotter than a Tiktok thirst trap since he was called up last weekend and continued that trend Friday night as he went 2-for-3 with his second home run, three runs batted in, and two walks. He’s 6-for-13 to start his major league career with five runs scored and six RBI! And not to knock the Jake Bauers but the Injians have managed to score 32 runs in just four games with Bradley in the lineup. Uhh, spit-take!? Yup. The 25-year old has all-or-nothing power for days, as evidenced by his nine homers in just 26 games at AAA. He also slashed .303/.314/.636 with two home runs and 11 RBIs in 13 spring training games, so this is not entirely out of left field. ACKCHUALLY he plays first base. And although we’re likely to see just as many strikeouts from Bradley as long balls I likes what I sees so fars! Speaking of Bobbys that strikeout and homer, I’ve got another one for you! That’s right, a bonus Bobby, aka Bobby Dalbec aka Bobby D., aka every pink hat’s future heartthrob by the end of October. He’s got dark flowing locks and power to spare. He hit a monster 440-footer Friday night and the balls were flying off his bat. I’ve mentioned Dalbec before because of his raw power and affinity for striking out (2 Ks Friday night). That 36.8 K% (67 strikeouts in 170 ABs) is real, but according to Manager Alex Cora, Bobby’s been working on a leg kick that’s improving his timing. It’s yet to be seen if this will have a positive effect but he’s 3-for-8 with a homer and double since the changes only struck out twice Friday night, so baby steps? Hank Hill would tell you these boys ain’t right, but I think both Bobbys are worth a look for those in deeper leagues who are powerless and in need of some pop, especially if they continue to hit as they have been the past couple of days. It’s the Bobby Bombs Buy Bonanza!

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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We have six no-hitters by May 19th. Seven no-hitters is a modern-day season record. At this point, it will be more novel when someone throws a ten-hitter. Soon we’ll be celebrating:  Kyle Gibson just threw a 7-hitter! He allowed hits! Never is now, Mr. Gibson! This is like 2001 and Barry Bonds is throwing a no hitter every game. Conspiracy Theory Alert! Rob Manfred is going to use this year to explain why the mound has to move back a foot next year, and then we’re going to have our first 100-homer season. I will bet someone this happens. We’re thinking small, Rob Manfred’s evil mind is thinking big picture. Or pitcher, in this case, because only jacked guys will be able to reach the plate. So, Corey Kluber (9 IP, 0 ER, 0 hits, 1 walk, 9 Ks, ERA at 2.86) threw a no-hitter against his old club, the Rangers. Not the other team that the Rangers killed. The question for us is Corey Kluber fixed. Or at least usable, which I honestly had questions about coming into the year. His numbers look number two to three-ish. He’s not an ace — 9 K/9, 3.6 BB/9, 4.17 xFIP, using xFIP there because I do believe he’s been a tad ‘lucky’ on homers. It’s solid, usable, and rosterable, which is what I say before he throws a consecutive no-hitter next time because:  2021. By the way, Johnny Vander Meer’s family moving his crypt from stadium to stadium this year must be exhausting, and there’s no way Johnny Vander Meer’s record makes it out of 2021. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH OR $13/MONTH WITH AN EXTRA WEEKLY PODCAST.)

First, allow me to share a story, uh, shared by frequent commenter, Travis Hafner. The Pronk One:

So, do we think Harrison Bader is into Pikachu or Mankey? Polyps? More like Poliwag or Poliwhirl! “Do you mind if I call you Jigglypuff?” That’s Harrison Bader talking to Yadier Molina. Harrison Bader looks at a fruit basket and is like, “Does anyone want this Flapple or can I have it?” Is this all gibberish or am I actually saying real words or am I reading aloud while I edit a Pokemonpedia? Who’s to say! In that fantastic story from Travis Hafner that I want to make all about Pokemon is a little tidbit about how Bader had polyps in his nose which hurt his equilibrium and his hitting. Reminds me of the time I had collagen sucked out of my face because my card was declined and now they say I got po’ lips. Sad for me, but positive for Bader, because he had surgery and it’s fixed. That could legitimately help him take his game to the next level. He’s been hitting this week, and I would absolutely grab him. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Howdy, folks.

Another doozy of a week. I don’t know what it is about this year, but hamstrings and shoulders are DOOMED. Feels like 90% of the injuries I keep getting updates about are “hamstring tightness” or “pulled up lame” or “sore shoulder” or “shoulder inflammation.” Ugh.

If by some stroke of insane luck you’ve managed to avoid injury to this point, no doubt this week the fantasy baseball gods deemed you unworthy after all. I told you in the title that I had bad news. Well, let’s get to it:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Holds Ain’t Got No Face! 

These poor schlubs. No one’s favorite player is a middle reliever. The middle reliever never gets the girl. The signed middle reliever rookie card never fetches more than a buck-fifty on eBay. 

Yet these working-class heroes continue to go out every day and grind away to bridge the gap between the billion-dollar, sexy starting pitchers and the dark, mysterious closers. 

So here’s to you Graeme Lloyd! Here’s to you Mark Eichhorn! Here’s to you Matt Thornton! And MY personal favorite player of all time — here’s to you Jeff Nelson! 

 

From a fantasy perspective, the middle reliever has been a non-factor since the beginning of roto baseball. In your standard 5×5 leagues there’s just no room for a player who barely contributes in any of the 5 pitching categories. However, after years and years of heart attacks from being forced to draft Fernando Rodney because they missed the closer runs — cardiologists have created a new fantasy category to prevent such cardiac conditions: saves + holds 

Below I’ve ranked the top-40 non-closers for saves + holds leagues. In true Kerry-fashion, I’ve manufactured my own ranking system. I’ve ranked these guys out into three categories: sv/hlds, limiting runs, and K/9 — the three categories that middle relievers can consistently help you in. Limiting runs is a combination of ERA and WHIP — basically, in one inning, a reliever needs to keep guys off the bases — and if there are already guys on the bases — keeping them from scoring runs. You know — like the job of every pitcher! 

Please, blog, may I have some more?