Please see our player page for Odrisamer Despaigne to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

The sun rising at dawn as two towheaded surfers paddle out on their longboards.  One surfer, Rob, wears a business suit and sunglasses.  The other surfer looks like Tony Hawk’s wet brother.  Tony Hawk’s wet brother asks, “Why the business threads, my brosef?”  “I’m the commissioner of baseball and could be called into action at any time.”  “Whoa, right on.”  Rob points at the ocean, cascading out in front of them, “You see this Tony Hawk’s Wet Brother?  This water as far as the eye can see?”  “I do, my brosef.”  “This is juice that I will be stuffing into baseballs.”  “Whoa, right on.” And that’s Our Commissioner Manfred surfing in the morning sun.  Yesterday, was another day for the long ball bizzonkers led by the Diamondbacks.  Leading off literally and, well, literally, Jarrod Dyson went 2-for-4 and hit his 4th homer.  Inner monologue, “You know you want to compare how many home runs Dyson has to David Dahl.  You know you want to do it, so do it.  Come on.  Compare them.”  Dyson’s having a nice year.  “A nice year compared to who?  Say it!”  Hopefully, Dyson keeps it up.  “You are the lamest!” Next up literally and literally, Ketel Marte went 3-for-5, 2 runs and hit his 16th homer.  “I dare you to compare Marte to David Dahl!”  Shut up, Inner Monologue!  I hate you!  Next up literally and literally, David Peralta went 1-for-4 and hit his 9th homer, as they started the game Dback-to-back-to-back.  Four home runs is most home runs ever hit in a row. That record is in jeopardy this year in every inning. Then not literally, Ildemaro Vargas went 2-for-5, 3 RBIs and hit two homers (3, 4). I have a hard time suggesting him because names starting with Il confuse my pea brain.  You Il Duce? No? Then goodbye!  Finally and literally, Eduardo Escobar went 4-for-5, 3 runs, 5 RBIs and hit his 16th and 17th homer, hitting .299.  Gabe Kapler said to the opposing pitcher, Jer-khoff, “Don’t blow this,” and Escobar screamed, “Did someone say blow?!”  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hello and welcome!  We’re going to take a look at the AL and NL league leaders in each standard rotisserie category after the first full week of baseball and discuss, analyze, and Razz it up! (90’s phrasing!) My favorite in the group is ONLY available when there is a tie in a category. Waiting in the weeds is a pitcher or hitter that is not currently leading the category, but could find their way into the lead soon…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Greetings and welcome to the last Two-Start Starters post of the year. With it being the last week of the season, make sure you take this list with the biggest grain of salt you can find. Just stay away from the bath salts. That will lead to entirely different issues in the coming weeks.

For the last week, obviously, our problem is that these rotations are written in pencil. As more and more teams clinch the playoffs and become locked into their spots, they will rest starters. Some teams, looking ahead to a potential one-game playoff (which is the dumbest thing baseball has ever decided to do, but that is a rant for another time), may even tweak their rotation to get a certain starter lined up for that crucial game. So, disclaimer over. Take this list as a starting point, but know that it could be very fluid throughout the week.

The first thing you may notice is that Chris Sale is scheduled to make two starts, but I did not include him in the rankings. That is because that second start is not a certainty by any means, and I would argue it is very unlikely. If the Red Sox have already clinched the division, there is little chance he starts or, if he does, that he pitches deep into the game. If the Red Sox might be destined for a Wild Card Playoff game, then they will likely want to keep Sale fresh to be able to start that game. Sale is obviously still worth starting for his one start, but don’t bank on getting two starts from him this week.

There are others who are probably in similar situations. I removed Dallas Keuchel, Jon Lester, Luis Severino, and Jake Arrieta because I would avoid them strictly for two start purposes. Obviously, those are still pitchers worth starting; they just are not reliable options if you absolutely need two starts. While I left them on the list, I would also avoid Yu Darvish, Alex Wood, and Carlos Martinez.

As for the Streamonator picks for this week, there are actually seven starters with positive money values who are owned in less than 75% of RCLs:

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Growing up everyone had their favorite school lunch. Didn’t matter if your Mom packed you one or if you paid Bertha $1.25 for the crap they served on the foam divided plate. Everybody had a favorite. Maybe you were a lima beans and ravioli guy, a P,B, and J-er, did you crush fluffernutters like a boss? Or did you wait all week for pizza on Friday? I had several favorites and they evolved as I got older, I’m sure that’s the same for you too. So this week we compare pitchers to some of my favorite brown bag meals. Excuse me while I go heat up some Dino-shaped chix nuggets. Yummmm weird chicken type meat smoothered in sweet baby rays….Yummmmmm. So anyway we’re all starving for some fantasy baseball coming out of the break, and what better way to ring in the second half than a little elementary school nostalgia? Two Start Pitchers week 16 gentlemen and four LADIES.

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Some call them cookie dusters, others dirt squirrels, lip luggage, snot mops, and upper lipholstery. I believe our Boss/fearless leader/fantasy master lothario calls his “old bullet proof”, but I’m not sure. I’m of course talking about those lip rugs knows as mustaches. Our sport of baseball more so than any other contest of athletic prowess has embraced the flavor savor. Over the years there have been some top choice lip rugs in the American past time. So this week’s theme is Baseball Mustaches. Seriously narrowing hardball’s best mustaches down to just six was damn near impossible. I tried anyway and I’m sure all of you will call me thick as brick for not including the handlebars you’d most like to ride. But that’s why we have comments, so you can belittle and abuse me for my lapses in judgement, poorly formed opinions, and general lack of research when it comes to the pitchers being skipped two days after this article posts. I mean in some circles I am known as the Oracle and my propensity for knowing the future is rather well documented. Still I’m at least 37% human, so cut me some slack.  Week 12’s roster of two start pitchers is top heavy and flat bottomed, it’s like the Kate Upton of two start pitching weeks. You know because she’s big…..wait I’m not going to bother explaining this.

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Aramis Ramirez roared with three doubles Friday night and five RBI. Dana na na naaa, da na na na naaa, da na naa, na naaa, na naaaaaaaaa! Welcome to Miller Park! One thing playing fantasy for the past 45 million years has taught me is that you always buy Aramis Ramirez in the second half, and never own him in the first. How about that headline by the way? That was my lame attempt to throw in Jurassic World reference. Anyway, I admit Aramis’ .223/.263/.406 triple slash is scarier than a charging Tyrannosaurus, and his hard hit percentage is way below his career norm. Not to mention at 36-years old he’s a bit of a dinosaur himself. However, that .230 BABIP is crazy unlucky so we can assume he’s not going to bat .223 all year. And if history has taught me anything, it’s that as the weather heats up, so does A-Ram. If his three doubles last night were any indication, he’s still got plenty of pop left in his bat, and while he may not win your heart like Chris Pratt, he could certainly be a useful commodity going forward, especially in deeper formats. He’s owned in less than 25% of leagues and I might buy Aramis Ramirez if I was looking for some pop at the corner infield position. I think this dinosaur has got a bit more roar left in him before he goes extinct, you don’t need to be a Coelurosaurus to see that.

Here’s what else I saw Friday night in fantasy baseball:

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I hope you don’t think I’m doing a BTO theme today with that title. I’m not Homer. When it comes to Canadian rock they are not my cup of tea, I’m a Guess Who fan. You know, the band where the “B” in BTO came from. The band loved in Almost Famous by Lester Bangs (played by Phillip Seymour Hoffman). Seriously, Live at the Paramount is one of my favorite live albums. From Pain Train to Sour Suite, the album hits it on lots of levels for me. Speaking of sour/sweet, I made a trade for Howie Kendrick this week by giving up Jason Grilli. Sweet! Now Howie’s got uncertain knee issue… Sour! Which leads me to my creeper pick, Justin Turner, and the opportunities that Mattingly can’t ignore. His usage patterns leave me very sour while the production of these “part-time players” is sweet! He said he doesn’t want to run Turner into the ground, unlike his bullpen, which Donny feels a need to regularly run into the ground. Yimi was such a beautiful creature of K/9. So please, take his usage with a bit of caution this week as I tell you to own him and get him in your line-up. But be careful of the sour/sweet.

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Today is the first Saturday in June, and the first day that it really feels like summertime. At least in Southern California it does. Warm weather and baseball just go hand-in-hand. So if you’re not at a game today, fulfill your Saturday baseball with some Razzball picks on DraftKings. Starting Pitchers are your most important position. Are you going to spend your money on a young unproven rookie pitcher, or a pricey proven pitcher that “should” run up your score? It’s a hard decision sometimes, but when you have choices like today, you should feel good about your chances. My strategies usually consist a little of both. Play it safer in 50/50’s. For example, if you’re in a 100 person entry, you can pretty much count on pitchers like Kershaw and King Felix to be owned around two-thirds to three-quarters of the league. You aren’t going to want to gamble and pick Lorenzen and another low to mid-tier pitcher and stack heavy on hitting. You’ll usually get the most points out of you pitchers, so my strategy is to play it safe and stick with the heavy priced pitchers. However, if I’m playing a big ‘Guaranteed’ entry where there are thousands of entries and thousands of dollars to be won in a top five finish, I’m gambling a lot more, and not spending my money on Kershaw and King Felix. It’s all or nothing for me in those type of entries. I’m not saying I’d start Lorenzen and a low-tier pitcher, but I’m certainly not picking the two pitchers which I think will be owned the most. What has worked for you? Have you had a really big win on DraftKings? Share you success in the comments below and tweet at me using #RazzballReader. Enjoy the games!

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

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Effin Strasburg hit the DL on Saturday, which came a day after he pitched five outs of one-run baseball. Compared to his previous starts, Effin looked remarkably better. If he threw 27 outs, that would’ve roughly been a five-run game and way below his ERA. I had the cork to pop and cigars to hand out, but he left that game with what he deemed neck tightness. Funny, because I have tightness in my chest when he pitches. I think it’s related. “Hello, Aetna service representative, a fine day to you, ma’am. I was just calling to see if I can take out extra health insurance on the ol’ ticker when Effin Strasburg is pitching. I can? That’s great news. Chirinos!” That’s me talking to my insurance provider. So, Stephen Strasburg has neck tightness as he hit the DL. His velocity has looked good, his BABIP is ridiculously unlucky, but his control is a mess. That would indicate to me that he’s a buy low, because his neck might be the reason behind his control problems. That was why I traded Jose Bautista for him in one league. *opens patio door, climbs to top of railing, jumps, lands in pool on top of inflatable shark* Dah! Right now, I wouldn’t do the same trade. Strasburg, or any pitcher, is too risky to trade for if injured. I’m hoping us Strasburg owners get him back in two weeks and he’s fixed. A prayer triangle anyone? Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

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At first, it was reported that Alberto Callaspo rejected the trade to the Dodgers. Leaving Alex Guerrero (1-for-2) to stare at Callaspo’s smugshot-slash-you mad bro? face. Then, later in the evening, Callaspo apparently approved the trade of him going to the Dodgers and Juan Uribe heading the other way. A commenter mentioned how in the preseason, the management didn’t have faith in Mattingly to start Pederson, so they traded away Kemp. It’s a fun theory. One that might have a morsel of truth, but I think this trade might backfire. Here’s a scenario for our five girl readers: imagine you were trying to get your man to change their yellow-pitted t-shirt, so you remove all the stained t-shirts from their hamper and throw them away, even his Bob Marley Buffalo Soldier t-shirt. When he realizes all his stained shirts are gone, what does he do? Does he wear the new shirts you bought him? Or does he scribble an oddly racist-looking Bob Marley on a hand towel and tape it to his chest? Mattingly could play Alex Guerrero at third with Uribe gone, but Justin Turner had started at 3rd base five times in the last week, not Guerrero, even with Uribe still in LA, and Callaspo is a 3rd baseman. So Uribe’s gone, but I think Mattingly just wears a masking-taped, hand towel now. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?