Please see our player page for Nick Tropeano to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

Do you remember the last time you swung and missed?

Maybe it happened at your beer league softball game? Or maybe it was during last week’s company-wide meeting when you thought you’d tell that funny story about the peanut butter thing but screwed up the beginning, and nobody laughed—not even Amber from accounting who giggles at everything—so you sat down all hot faced, feeling stupid all day?

Or maybe you’re thinking of that day you finally asked out Amber from Accounting, and that time she did laugh?

Nobody likes to swing and miss, is all I’m saying. And nobody likes that awkward what-what of trying to save a story from a bad opening line. Here’s some baseball-related proof:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Felix Hernandez went 6 IP, 7 ER, ERA at 5.73 vs. Bartolo Colon – 7 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 5.18.  Or is that Bartolo Colon, weighing in at 518 pounds from parts unknown and ratios you don’t want to know?  This matchup was billed as, “F-Her/Colon, rated NC-17.  Or maybe simply NR, as in Not Recommended.”  All kidding aside, F-Her’s fallen so far, Colon is outpitching him, and Colon is not outpitching anyone else.  That’s a Trump tweeted, “Sad!”  On the bright side, Rougned Odor (2-for-5, 2 runs, 4 RBIs and his 14th homer) has rediscovered our love.  Two years ago, Odor beat up Jose Bautista.  Last year, he beat up his fantasy owners.  This year, he’s beating back the beat like Vinny from The Jersey Shore.  I’m glad I went back in on him because making up is sweeter than caramel honey on your bed sheets. (Is that an R. Kelly song?  It should be.)   I’d contend (for the featherweight title) that Odor really hasn’t done anything different this year.  Yes, his walk rate is nearly double, but his BABIP has turned around.  Here’s what that leads me to believe:  You get a little bit luckier, so you don’t feel compelled to swing at everything, so you get more selective.  It’s a self-fullfilling prophecy in direct opposition to what happened to him last year.  Does this mean I’m going back in him for a third year in a row next year?  Damn skippy!  He can’t fail me again! (He totally can!)  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Lance Lynn had to shave his beard to play for the Yankees, because the Yankees are fascists.  I wish Giancarlo would grow a mustache as giant FU.  What, are they going to bench him until he shaves?  Actually, Giancarlo should carve an F and a U in both of his sideburns.  That would be such a 1970’s move.  You could see Willie Stargell, high as a kite, being like, “Carve, ‘Down with Whitey’ in my sideburns.”  Little did we know a clean-shaven Lynn would be an all-new pitcher, throwing 7 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 2 hits, 1 walk, ERA at 4.58.  Prior to the trade, here’s the Twins pitching coach talking to the bullpen catcher, “Do you think Lynn might be dragging his right side a little bit because of all that facial hair?”  “I don’t know, but Sasquatches have been deemed the new sexy ‘It Thing,’ so who’s to argue?”  Yesterday, we saw more of Lynn (literally and figuratively) of what made him a solid starter in St. Louis for many years.  His season numbers are still garbage but, if nothing else, the Stream-o-Nator loves his next start.  If he can command his pitches, he could have a solid final seven weeks.  It’s all about The Art of Shaving two walks off his rate.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

As a Giants fan, it pains me to say this, but you really should get Charlie Morton in your lineups today. Come for that great sub-3 ERA, but stay for the 159 Ks in 124 innings. Add in the fact that he takes the mound in the Bay against a Giants team that doesn’t score a ton of runs and is still missing Brandon Belt. Buster Posey has also been plagued by injuries this season, so I wouldn’t be shocked if he gets a rest. Mix all that together and we’re looking at great things from Morton. I think we should expect a steak dinner.

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Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yesterday, Kole Calhoun went 1-for-2 and his 14th homer and, seriously, how many home runs does he have since the break?  475?  Am I warm?  Because it feels like I’m super warm…*eyes drift to a mirror* …so super, super warm.  Hot even.  What’s your name?  *snaps out of it*  Damn it, reflection!  Okay, starting a dynasty team, Trout or Calhoun?  It’s too difficult to decide!  What is this world coming to with the fire emoji that is Kole Calhoun in the last two weeks?  I can’t handle it.  Literally, and I’m wearing oven mitts.  Here’s Calhoun two weeks ago:  *opens DeLorean door*  “I can go anywhere?  How about Balco in 2001?”  Somehow, Calhoun is only owned in 45% of leagues, which I hope means 55% of people are already checking out our fantasy football rankings.  If not, shame.   Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

J.A. Happ might’ve realized he wasn’t staying with the Jays much longer when guys in the front office kept asking him if he liked the team’s new jersey and it was the same jersey he had been wearing but a small man with a goatee, who said he worked as Peter Dinklage’s stunt double for parts of season 2 and 3 of GOT, was standing with his hand over the ‘Ja’ of Jays.  Happ tried to understand, “Do I like the Blue Ys?”  The front office exec tried to lead him to the answer, “If there was no,” motioning to Dinklage’s stunt double’s hand covering the ‘Ja,’ “In the Jays, would that be okay with you?”  Rather than the low-rent game of charades, they just traded him to the Yankees.  Happ should be happy to be out of Canada, we have a burgeoning coal economy.  No idea what Happ will do on the Yankees, but what he SHOULD (caps for emphasis, not due to a sticky keyboard) is be great.  His 10.3 K/9, 2.8 BB/9 and 3.63 xFIP makes him easily the 2nd best pitcher on the Yankees and around that of a top 30 starter.  Also, the AL East is like this:  J.A. Happ mimes wiping dandruff off his shoulder.  Nothing to it, kid!  Of course, it’s been like this all year and he still has a 4.18 ERA, so ‘should’ and ‘would’ can have a baby and it will still be, ‘who knows?’  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Every time Max Muncy hits a home run, a little piece of me dies. Okay, perhaps I’m being a bit melodramatic, but that’s exactly how I feel these days. It would be bad enough if I’d just read about Muncy and not taken a fantasy flier on him, but given that I was one of the folks actually suggesting him as a pick-up — because his past numbers were better than I thought they’d be after I looked them up, because Dave Roberts was finding a way to keep Muncy in the lineup even as the players he’d been replacing were returning from their injuries, because he just looked like he knew what he was doing at the plate — and STILL not wrapping my head around the notion that he’d be a productive player as the season progressed… well, that just makes a girl feel silly. And a bit sad.

In the deep league world, guys like Muncy can be insane difference-makers. I have a couple NL-only leagues where I’m hovering around 4th place, trying to scratch and claw my way to a money finish. If I had picked up Muncy in those leagues, he singlehandedly would have provided stats that would likely have me in 2nd place, where a strong last couple of months could put me over the top and give me a good shot at winning my league.

I’ll regret Muncy all season – and perhaps beyond in my keeper leagues – but nothing I can do about it now. Time to get back to my Muncy-less NL-only reality, scouring the waiver wire for anyone that might provide a boost between now and the end of September.  And speaking of the waiver wire, time to get down to business and take a look at some names who might be available for those looking for help in the deep-league world.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

During the slow Monday, when there was five games on the docket, and half of them were Yankees, I started thinking about some either/or’s.  Though maybe because I was listening to Elliott Smith — that guy was uplifting!  Luis Severino was out doing his norm — 8 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 2.20 and 0.93 WHIP with peripherals that are just as gorge — 10.7 K/9, 2.2 BB/9, 2.83 xFIP.  First either/or for you, wait for it, here it comes, follow the arrow –> Next year, Luis Severino or Kershaw?  Is it even close?  Don’t think it is.  Okay, next either/or, Luis Severino or every pitcher not named Max Scherzer?  Maybe, maybe not.  There’s pitchers with better peripherals than Severino right now — Scherzer, deGrom, Cole, Corbin, Kluber and Syndergaard.  Throwing the two Mets out because they’re injury risks; Corbin and Cole don’t have the track record; semicolons are fun.  That leaves us with Scherzer, Kluber and Severino.  So, three’s company, and Severino is Joyce DeWitt.  Come and knock on my door!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

“You want me to list the eczema medication’s ingredients?  Can I ask you why?”  “JUST LIST THEM.”  “Okay, take it easy.  Propylene glycol, paraffin wax, pinetaroleum–”  “PINETAROLEUM IS NOT ALLOWED.  IT INDUCES A HIGHER SPIN RATE.”  That is part of a recurring dream Trevor Bauer has where he’s dressed as a TSA agent, while standing on the side of the Astros pitcher’s mound.  The dream always ends the same way.  Someone asks Trevor Bauer how does he account for Joe Musgrove being better after leaving the Astros and Bauer wakes in a sweat, screaming, “GERRIT COLE STOLE MY COLLEGE GIRLFRIEND!”  Joe Musgrove’s velocity is up, he’s throwing a cutter 15% of the time more and abandoned his curve altogether.  This has upped his ground balls (not literally) and made him a usable pitcher for all leagues, and around a 3.60 ERA pitcher.  Of course, he’s not a sub-1.00 ERA pitcher, as he is right now, but still ownable everywhere.  Though, I guess he could be a 1.00-ERA pitcher if his eczema medication has pinetaroleum.  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Times like this you wish Noah Syndergaard wasn’t complaining of a ligament strain and just had a bad lisp.   “Oh no! My finger is Thor, and it needs a Syndergaard.”  More like Noah Fingergaard!  Noah Syndergaard hit the DL with a finger ligament strain.  I’m fully aware that at least one person in every league ignored my advice to ignore Syndergaard and drafted him very early, so I will do something I’ve never done before, not gloat.  True story, my crazy aunt used to say I gloated all the time behind her back (I did) and I drove her into a mental asylum.  See, when I say my ‘crazy’ aunt, I’m being literal!  So, without gloating, let me just say when a pitcher proves himself to be injury prone, take his word for it.  His Synderwoord?  DeGrom’s already had a dislocated elbow, and my money’s on him getting injured at some point again soon too.  Same goes for Kershaw.  Not trying to be harsh, it’s just truth bombs.  If you own Syndergaard, hope he returns relatively soon, but this is the kind of injury that sidelines a pitcher for an entire season.  Sorry, another truth bomb.  Oh, and the Mets said Syndergaard can return in ten days.  What’s the opposite of a truth bomb?  That’s what that is.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?