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Last year some fellow co-workers and I decided it would be fun to join a flag football league. Seemed like a solid idea. Do some ‘team building’, get some running in, and enjoy a little competition. Well, by the end of the season we had gone through 4 QBs, one broken thumb, multiple pulled hammies and quads, and a grand total of 2 wins to show for all of our pain, so, safe to say, we made the right choice to be auditors and not professional athletes.

With the NFL draft ongoing, I thought it would be interesting to see what the best backyard football squad we could put together of current MLB players would look like. As this is a backyard/adult sport league type of team build, we’ll forego the offensive and defensive line. By NFL standards, there aren’t many guys that could play the line anyway.  David Ortiz, Big Papi, is by all accounts a mountain of a man for a baseball player at 6’4” and listed at 250 lbs. (I’m not sure I buy the weight, but that’s neither here nor there) would still be an inch short and 60 pounds light of the average offensive tackle in the NFL…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The AL East is “big boy” baseball. Four teams from the division ended 2017 in the top 10 for home runs in all of baseball. The Yankees were first with 241, the Orioles were fifth with 232, the Rays were sixth with 228….Hold up. The Rays? Yes, the Rays. The final team was the Blue Jays with 222. With great power, comes great responsibility. Unfortunatley, there was a lot of DGAF’ing, as the Rays were second in MLB for striking out and the Orioles were eighth. From a pitching perspective, it would makes sense then that three of the teams (BOS, NYY, and TOR) ended top 10 in strikeouts. TB ended 11th. Big boy baseball indeed. To cement the point home, four of the teams (BOS, BAL, TB, and NYY) were bottom 10 in sacrifice hits. TOR was 13th. Small ball, schmal ball. Chicks dig the long ball. Ladies and gentlemen, the AL East.

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Allow me to paint a visual metaphor.  A vetaphor.  The entire league’s pitching is cornered on the grounds of a wildlife preserve.  A tiger, we’ll call him Blister, stalks towards the league’s pitching.  There’s no way out, but the league attempts to urinate on Blister to keep him away.  Then, out of nowhere, Nat Gio, dressed as Lord Beasley, a world famous butterfly collector from Gilligan’s Island, rides his Eddie Bauer jeep into Blister’s den, and befriends the beast, saying, “I slay pussy,” then off everyone’s look, “…cats.”  Yesterday, Gio Gonzalez had yet another great start — 6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 2.49.  I’d love to be a fly on the wall when Gio hears people talking about the new baseball and how offense is up.  Maybe he’s the one pitcher who likes a tightly-sewn baseball.  Up until this year, he must’ve been like, “Geez, is this ball going to unravel when I throw it?”  Of course, his outlook for 2018 fantasy doesn’t look anywhere near as optimistic.  Besides his ERA, there’s nothing promising in his peripherals.  He has left 85.7% of men on base.  That’s more than a wife with a headache.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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Sometimes you make a pitch because of the pitcher’s work.  Other times, you make it based on the work of the team he’s facing.  Lukewarm suggestion, Adalberto Mejia, come on down!  Really, I’m not gonna stump for many pitchers today as none of them have shown any form of consistency and the ones that I kinda sorta like are in difficult spots.  So with that, I’m sitting here staring at Mejia, seeing who flinches first…dah!  It was me!  Really, though, the Angels have been horrid over their last 7.  During that stretch they’re 28th in wRC+ and second to last in both SLG% and wOBA.  It’s a team that, surprise, surprise, is missing having Mike Trout in the middle of things.  Full disclosure: today is a GPP day to me and I wouldn’t really jump in to this slate with a cash mindset.  Why do I say that?  Well, take a look at the DFSBot and tell me how many of those pitching names you’d put your money behind today.  Go big and wild or go home, I say, and that’s what Mejia means to me as I don’t even like the guy!  DFS can make for strange bed partners…anyhoo, enough of that, let’s get on to this.  Here’s my Moonlight hot taeks for this blah blah land Monday slate…right after I remind you that this is still a thing.  Hit me up in the comments or on twitter and we can go from there:

New to FantasyDraft? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Y’all better be ready.  (Gotta love some fantasy baseball puns that involve some Cypress Hill.)  Well, even if you didn’t like it, I did.  So there’s that.  So A.A. Ron Hicks hit the DL with an oblique injury… but I have to ask: Why is it so oblique if we actually know what it is?  If anything, it’s an un-oblique injury because we know what the injury is.  Regardless, and I am dropping the “ir” because it is not a word, though it should be.  Jacoby Ellsbury has returned like a stallion on a white stallion. Unfortunately for fantasy, Jacoby hasn’t been such since dunkaroos were still a cool snack.  As a Yankee rooter, Hicks’ injury hurts because he is versatile and Ellsbury is just a DL nightmare.  The rewards that you reaped from the waiver wire add of Hicks aren’t lost though, because it is a substitute by substitute principle.  It’s like walking through the store and finding a 20 dollar bill.  Only to realize that a month later it was your money to begin with.  So reinvest that sorta found money to the waiver wire and keep digging.  The expectations for Ellsbury should remain limited, but are boosted by where he bats in the Yankee lineup.  Though in his SAGNOF defense, he did have 8 steals in just 149 plate appearances, so he does have some value as it relates to steals and such.  And with the scuppering Yankees in a fall from fantasy grace, minus Judge, he could ease out some OF 4-5 value.  Stay glued to that chair, more goodies after the jump on swipes, thievery and save-dom.

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There is no truth to the rumor that Elvis Andrus stole his entire playing career from “Fats” Domingo, “Ivory” Roberto Kelly or Nate King Colbert.  Elvis hits the covers off the ball better than Cam “Carl” Perkins and Jerry Lee Lewis Brinson.  It is not Elvis’ fault that the way he plays the bat is seen as an appropriation of a top shortstop of yesteryear.  He’s got the chops to knock down that axe!  (All guitar knowledge I possess was used in that nine word sentence.)  Yesterday, Elvis Andrus had the best game of an already great season, going 3-for-4, 3 runs, 4 RBIs with his 8th and 9th homers.  On our Player Rater, he’s in the top 20 overall.  Not for shortstops, for all hitters and pitchers.  Love me tender!  Some of the names he’s above Giancarlo, Correa, Mookie and Dee Gordon.  Love me sweet!  Never let me go!  Well, not so fast there.  If I thought you could actually get value for Andrus in a trade, I could see it since he’s likely at his peak value.  Unfortunately, there’s little chance you’d get back in a trade anything resembling Andrus’ value, so I’d Bubba hold Tep.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Our Commissioner Manfred presses his intercom, “Please escort in the Guatemalan baseball stitchers.”  Manfred’s secretary brings six men dressed in blanket ponchos and straw hats.  Their leader steps forward, “Mr. Manfred, the Capri Suns you have us using to juice the balls is not working.”  Their leader pulls out a baseball that is dripping with Ecto Cooler.  Manfred turns in his seat, silhouetted with the setting sun.  He lights a Virginia Slim 120 and pulls, coughing slightly.  “I no longer want the balls juiced.  Now….I want you and your friends to go to Dodger Stadium and blow.”  “Mr. Manfred, we are not sex workers!”  “Not blow like that!  Put your lips together and blow.”  “Like Bogey and Bacall?”  “Yes!  Now go!”  …And this was how Dodger Stadium became a launching pad.  Yesterday, Corey Seager (4-for-5, 6 RBIs) hit three homers (10, 11, 12), Yasmani Grandal (3-for-5, 2 runs) hit his 7th homer and Cody Launchangler (1-for-3, 2 RBIs) did it again, hitting his 22nd.  Granted, someone needs to put Cody Launchangler in carbonite for Cooperstown — we can’t risk something happening to him playing baseball! — but this Seager guy is pretty good too, huh?  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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Scooter Gennett had the game of his life yesterday.  Well, isn’t he Vespecial?  You say to me, “Unkie Grey, can I sit on your lap metaphorically and you tell me why Scooter hit so many homers?”  Sure, Nephew, it’s simple.  A story of my Scooter in two tweets:

I am the first person in the history of fantasy baseball to bench two hitters for games with at least three home runs in the same season.  *opens oven, sticks head in oven, opens The Bell Jar to read*  Ugh, could someone check on the pilot light?  You might be asking yourself why I had Scooter on my bench, while you coyly bat your eyelashes.  I’ll explain, you coquettish bastard!  He was hitless the entire previous week!  WHAT THE EFF?!  Any hoo!  Scooter had a big game, and will now be invited to all the same parties as Mark Whiten, but Scooter is not much more than a hot schmotato.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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Sometimes, baseball can be that game we all fell in love with *covers mouth so you can’t hear number* years ago.  Whether it’s Paul O’Neil hitting a triple with an error to score a home run for a child in the hospital or that minor leaguer who crashed through a fence to make a catch or Bryce Harper tossing a foul ball to an actual clown to silence his questions or Reggie Jackson thinking about someone other than himself for a moment after Thurman Munson’s plane crashed or Lou Gehrig’s speech or Kirk Gibson’s fist pump or Saturday.  It would’ve been Yordano Ventura’s 26th birthday.  Obviously Edinson Volquez was very close to him when they were both on Royals.  According to Volquez, they shared everything, even constantly having to tell people, “No, I’m not Johnny Cueto.”  Edinson posted a pic of Ventura on his Instagram page Saturday morning, then went out and pitched the game of his life that afternoon, a no hitter — 9 IP, 0 ER, 2 walks, 10 Ks, lowering his ERA to 3.79.  For one day, Edinson was able to say, “No, I’m not Johnny Cueto.  I’m better.”  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

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If you had to write a fill-in-the-blank to summarize fantasy baseball in 2016, it would look something like this: “________ hit 30 HRs in 2016, a career high. He will hit half that amount in 2017.”

2017’s fill-in-the-blank is going to look  like this: “_________ was placed on the 10-day disabled list.”

Last week I was astonished to only have nine players hit the disabled list. This week, the injury bug came back with a vengeance — there are a whopping 20 players who have been added to this dubious club. Some of them are really earning those DL frequent flier miles.

This week there are six outfielders and nine starting pitchers mentioned in this article. Rather than try to find six healthy outfielders and nine healthy starting pitchers to add I am going to list a few shallow, standard and deep league targets you can add as fill ins. I’ll add this list at the bottom of the article.

As always, if you’ve got a league specific question, please leave a comment and I’ll get back to you ASA-quick.

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Okay, this is weird, but Sonny Gray and I are complete opposites.  Sonny Gray is in Bay Area, and it’s Grey Albright in Los Angeles.  Weather you like it or not, that’s weird!  Pun noted too!  Grey Albright plays fantasy baseball; Sonny Gray plays reality baseball!  It’s freaking me out!  Grey Albright’s face is mustachioed; Sonny Gray’s is not.  Sonny Gray is athletic; I am not.  He works for a newspaper called Ballrazz, which is super-terse and serious.  It’s uncanny!  Yesterday, Gray (him) went 7 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 11 Ks, lowering his ERA to 3.34.  Okay, time to take a new look.  I did like him at one point in his career, before everything went sideways.  His velocity and two-seam fastball are back.  Right now, his two-seam is his best pitch, however, his curve is not back to where it was in 2015.  Watching some video on him showed a guy that can get swings and misses, but had a bit of a favorable strike zone yesterday.  I’d be careful in shallower leagues, but he looks closer to his breakout from two years ago than he has in a while.  Now, if he’s married to a younger woman, I’m gonna plotz over all of our opposites.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday for fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Aloha from Clearwater Beach, Florida. I will be relaxing at the beach in this 90-degree weather today. I promise, I’m not trying to rub it in. The weather is starting to warm up as we approach summer, which means the balls will start flying out at a higher rate than they already are this season. Today’s lede has done a great job limiting home runs this season and I’m excited to see him deal today. I must say that I’m pleasantly surprised how good Eduardo Rodriguez has pitched this season. Rodriguez looks to make it 6 quality starts in a row today and he has a stellar matchup against a team with the 3rd highest K rate vs. left handed pitching. If you haven’t noticed I like using lefties in DFS, especially when the teams they are facing struggle at the plate against lefties. John Farrell has no problem letting Rodriguez eclipse 100 pitches as he’s done it on several occasions this season already. There appears to be no pitch limit for E-Rod, so if he gets off to a hot start today we could see a high K total in the box score. Today’s game is being played at O.co, which is smack dab middle of the road in home runs per game this season. Eduardo’s price tag is $17,600, which I consider a steal for his upside. Plug him into your lineups and lets win some money today!

New to FantasyDraft? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond?  Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.  Just be sure to sign up through us before jumping into the fray.  It’s how we know you care! 

Please, blog, may I have some more?