Jay has set the table or whatever he was talking about last week with spoons, knives and whatnot. I think he needs to eat before he writes these. Well if I’m reading him right, that is my queue to grab the tablecloth and pull it out while leaving all the table settings perfectly in place. *Grabs cloth, pulls hard* CRASH! No, not Davis…well, the place setting is ruined, literally broke everything with one fell swoop. Okay, I actually jacked all the silverware and pawned it to pay for my anti-depressants. This is a sign my friends and detractors that opening day is almost here. Draft time is cute like a puppy where we are full of hope and optimism, unless you drafted Stroman, Salazar, Wheeler, and Darvish. Now the season begins and it turns into a dog that pisses on your pillow, craps in your shoes, and turns your socks into swiss cheese. Why all the cynicism J-FOH? It’s who I am, and the chances of you having a perfect draft is as likely as Grey getting that restraining order Giancarlo slapped on him lifted. Give it up Grey, it’s not happening. Seriously, it’s time for reality to start as we see how our educated guesses/luck/gut instincts/stat crunching/strategies start to pan out. Here is to not having an unlucky year *toasts 40ozer to computer*.
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Grey Steps Into The RCL Arena, Only He Stands In His Way
April 3, 2015 | Our Leagues | 677 Commentsby: Grey
I’ve drafted my Razzball Commenter League team (over hundred leagues this year; crazy!), and now I’m ready for the season. All those other drafts — like Tout, Friends & Family, NFBC, yadda-whodoodie — are in the past. They were prep for this draft. This draft is the one that matters, because I’m going against, like, 1200 of youse. And youse are the ones that matter. Well, a few of youse matter more than a few of the other youse. Just assume you are part of the favorable youse. In this league was Tim McLeod from RotoRob, Mike Gianella from Baseball Prospectus, Dalton Del Don from Yahoo, Ryan Carey from Mastersball and from Razzball: Rudy, JayWrong, Sky, JFoH, Tehol, Prospect Mike, JB and yours truly. All of these people make me very thankful (that it wasn’t an in-person draft). I was drafting out of the three-hole (no relation to Tehol; that I know of), and I knew after all those preliminary drafts that I was finally going to take guys that I really, really wanted from my 2015 fantasy baseball rankings (clickbait, snitches!). Well, until around the 4th round. Okay, enough hubbub on the tomfoolery, let’s get to it! Anyway, here’s my RCL draft (5×5, roto, mixed league, 12 team, 5 OFs, etc.):
Please, blog, may I have some more?
The time has once again arrived to get wild and crazy with my procrastination! Wait, is that the right word? No. No it’s not. That’s actually my life strategy. Prescientinism is probably the word I’m looking for. It’s a totally made up word, but whatever. So here I am, back to bring you 11 BOLD (bolded for effect) predictions that may or may not come true. (Probably not.) If you missed it, last year, Eno Sarris of FanGraphs and I had a gentlemen’s battle to the death (because that’s what gentlemen do) over our predictions. Much to my sadness, I lost by only getting three right to Sarris’ five. To be fair, I got really close on a lot of the spewed boldness, so if you like pleading and excuse-making, well then technically it was a tie. But a new season brings new hope and something-something wax poetic, so let’s get bold AND beautiful (just like your mom)…
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Bear or Bull: A Kris To Build a Dream On
April 2, 2015 | 2023 Fantasy Baseball | 96 Commentsby: Big Magoo
Give me a Kris to build a dream on,
And my imagination will thrive upon that Kris,
Sweetheart, I ask no more than this,
A Kris to build a dream on
Nothing like kickin’ it off old school with a little Satchmo (with, uh, alternate lyrics). Hello all, and welcome to the return of the Bear or Bull series. In honor of Easter season, the powers that be have decided to resurrect yet another tried-and-true Razzball favorite and have placed it’s fate into the hands of yours truly. Big mistake. I mean, good call! The concept is simple. Each week, I’ll be highlighting a certain player and creating a framework of where he is trending in fantasy terms. Think of it as the Offseason Stock Report series but in-season and with animals. After some background analysis, number crunching, and perhaps a player comp or two, I’ll reveal whether I’m Bearish (pessimistic) or Bullish (optimistic) on the player in question. Cause everyone loves Rocky Mountain oysters, right? Right? Moving on…
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Closer Report, Week 1: Everyone Has A Closer… Sort Of
April 2, 2015 | Closers | 78 Commentsby: Smokey
The pieces are all set, and it’s like the beginning of checkers… Before you secretly cheat while your cousin isn’t looking, you should know that 28-of-the-30 teams have labeled a guy to be their respective closer. Now, for some, that’s like being labeled the “Hand of the King” and with bad pitching performances, their heads will soon be on a pike out side of Comerica. Yeah, that was a shot at you Joe Nathan, we are all whistling happy trails under our breath as you slowly ride of into the sunset Shane style.
Please, blog, may I have some more? Rendon’s MCL Feels Like It’s Been Sprained Since 1150
April 2, 2015 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 709 Commentsby: Grey
Anthony Rendon went for a third opinion and heard the same thing — a sprained MCL. Another day, another opinion. It’s like he’s a girl and his knee is a new skirt. “I was in home ec and Jimmy Andrews comes in and….” *snaps bubble gum* “He’s wearing, like, one of those soft-wool t-shirts that has the funniest thing on it and…” *twirls hair* “He says, ‘Hello.’ I’m dying. Ah-magod! Ah-magod! Ah-magod! So, I asked him, ya know, what he thought of my knee, and he said it looked good. Ah-magod!” And that’s how you insult your four girl readers! Seriously, people with a life-threatening ailment get fewer opinions from doctors. The Nats finally have a timetable for his return: three weeks. When it takes three weeks to figure out it’s going to be three weeks, I don’t get the most confident feeling coming from this news, but if we’re to take it at face value, then he’ll return after only missing about 15 games. I moved him the other day in my fantasy baseball rankings and top 400, and won’t move him again. If he’s sitting there in the third round and you’re feeling lucky, then give him a shot. Ah-magod! Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?
2015 Disgraces and Delights: Closers
April 1, 2015 | 2015 Fantasy Baseball Draft | 147 Commentsby: LT Murray IV
Greetings! The time has come! This is what we’ve all been so patiently waiting for! Yaaaaaaasssss, Bruce Jenner’s sex change is upon us!!! Rejoice! It’s also a cool time of the year because MLB is starting up again. I suppose that means we should get down on some mo fantasy baseball type shizzz. Are you ready? No, I said, ARE YOUR READY!?!? Okay, sweet.
I so desperately wanted to write a preseason piece on Domonic Brown, but I was notified that he received over 500 words in my outfielders post, making it a no go this week. Can you even imagine? That would be like some moron pathetically green lighting a sequel to Paul Blart: Mall Cop. Only my Domonic column would probably go on to win awards and Blart 2 would be about as entertaining as watching Rosie O’Donnell’s love box fart for two straight hours…..WHAT?!?!?!?!? THEY’RE MAKING A PAUL BLART SEQUEL!??! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE!?!?!? My generation got Home Alone and Radio Flyer. The children of today get Paul effing Blart? Kevin James should be ashamed of himself for this. It’s embarrassing enough piggybacking the falling star that is Adam Sandler into 90% of his movie roles, but this is beyond pathetic. Hey, at least his untalented brother will get another meaningless role. Laaaaaawd, make it stop.
Enough about Blart. I’m here to talk about closers. I am Tehol Beddict, and this is Disgrace/Delight! Take Heed!
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Introducing the Auction Simulator Ver 1.0
April 1, 2015 | 2015 Fantasy Baseball Draft | 16 Commentsby: paul
Or, the Unexpected Virtue of Active Bidding…
Unlike a certain appendage of mine, I like to keep my intros short, so let’s get down to business. For those of you who were not with us last week, I spewed some thoughts on auction theory and expressed a desire to create a tool to simulate auctions. Seven days later, I have created such a tool. Or at least a basic, yet functional form of one…
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2015 Minor League Preview: Pittsburgh Pirates
April 1, 2015 | Fantasy Baseball Prospects | 81 Commentsby: Mike
Organizational Talent Rankings via Baseball America
2014 (1) | 2013 (7) | 2012 (13) | 2011 (19) | 2010 (15)
2014 Affiliate Records
MLB: [88-74] NL Central
AAA: [73-71] International League – Indianapolis
AA: [61-81] Eastern League – Altoona
A+: [78-61] Florida State League – Bradenton
A: [54-81] South Atlantic League – West Virginia
A(ss): [35-40] New York-Penn League – Jamestown
Graduated Prospects
Gregory Polanco, OF | Tony Sanchez, C
The Gist
30 teams…300 prospects…and we’ve reached the mountaintop. The Pirates continue to have a very strong farm system this year with a nice balance of hitting and pitching. Adding IFA Jung-Ho Kang makes it even stronger. While they’re thin on southpaws, they’re stacked with solid right-handed pitching. Gerrit Cole has already come up and established his value, but Tyler Glasnow, Jameson Taillon, and Nick Kingham should be ready to join him in the rotation at some point this year or next. The Pirates have had success developing Latin American talent like Gregory Polanco and Starling Marte, and they’ll look to continue that trend with prospects like Alen Hanson, Harold Ramirez, and Tito Polo. On a side note, this last minor league preview is a little bittersweet for me, as it will also be my last post with the site. I’ve accepted an offer to scout for the Phillies. The offer was just too good to pass up and hopefully I can help them find the next Domonic Brown. I wish you all the best and really appreciated my time here at Razzball.
You know what’s a very considerate thing to do? To tell you about some concerns I have for the upcoming season after you’ve already drafted. Due to posting my rankings in January and not tweaking things outside of injuries and playing time updates, there’s some things that I look at now and I wonder what the hell I was thinking. I could update some rankings due to spring training performances, but then I’m throwing out the countless hours (1 1/2 hours) of research I put in to do my rankings. I don’t believe in doing that. There was a reason I ranked how I ranked originally and to move a guy now because he hit a few homers in March doesn’t make any sense. I’m also not completely immune to what was going on for the last month performance-wise with players, so I’m giving you some players that I might’ve ranked slightly different if I let spring training performances come into play. If you want to bump up or down some of these guys, I could understand it. Anyway, here’s some players that have me second-guessing myself for 2015 fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?It’s official because we don’t deal in unofficial. Whatever that means. Which is nothing, if you’re wondering. But it does make this post feel more important. Delusions of grandeur? That’s my life story bro. And that also might describe the life story of many here who reside at Razzball HQ. Which is basically our basements. With bountiful supplies of Hot Pockets and Mike’s Hard Lemonade. Oh, wait, nevermind. Sky called, he want’s his everything back. Jokes on you buddy. I’m keeping the Hot Pockets. So, where were we? Oh, that’s right, delusions of grandeur…and Hot Pockets, it happens to the best of us. And that’s why we make these picks. Because we think we’re right all the time. Except for me. I’m just very wrong. Jay Wrong. (/turns off Sean Connery accent.) But don’t let that stop you from looking at our well-thought out (MAYBE) picks for this upcoming 2015 season. (Now with more Grey and Rudy!) We all can’t write a 1500 word exposé on these players, so you get this nifty assortment where you’ll gain a general sense of which players we like and which we don’t. All in a simple box for you to stare and giggle at. Kind of like what you normally would do if you were looking at Tehol‘s well, you know, simple box.
Please, blog, may I have some more?When Jay(Wrong) first presented me with the opportunity to write about trash and treasure, I was confused and possibly even somewhat indifferent about tackling those subjects moving forward. I mean, who would be interested in reading about Duke “The Dumpster” Droese and “The Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase on a weekly basis (besides those who enjoy watching a disastrous car wreck unfold)? I finally shook the seasonally-inspired Wrestlemania cobwebs loose and realized that he was referring to the long-running Razzball series that Mike handled last season, which focuses on the most added/dropped players in the fantasy baseball universe. Crisis averted (for now).
Please, blog, may I have some more?
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