Hard to believe, but my first season as a baseball analyst here at Razzball is almost at an end! For athletes, that means they’re leaving the bubble soon. Us fantasy writers? We’re all bubbled-up to protect from the dreaded Piranhavirus. Oh, you don’t know what that is? See, we’re so forward thinking here at Razzball, we’re already sequestered away for the next pandemic. You may be asking, “How does the Razzbubble work?” Well, future victims of piranhas, let me show you my notes from earlier this summer when I bubbled up.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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See all of today’s starting lineups

# MLB Starting Lineups For Sun 8/3
ARI | ATH | BAL | BOS | CHC | CHW | CLE | COL | DET | HOU | KC | LAA | LAD | MIA | MIL | MIN | NYM | NYY | PHI | PIT | SD | SEA | SF | STL | TB | TEX | TOR | WSH | ATL | CIN | OAK

Kudos to you for reading a baseball article with NFL action dominating the airwaves. We haven’t had quite as wide of an NFL distraction window without its preseason. These next couple of weeks will have to make due for easy FAAB times. Finish strong my friends.

  • The Angels closer is now *spins wheel of random mediocre reliever* Matt Andriese? The internet is telling me that is correct. Not really since they came in somewhat unique situations but also maybe with how bad the rest of the pen has been lately.
  • The Arizona pen is turning into an open competition. Stefan Crichton is maybe the best to speculate on. There are probably too many cooks in this kitchen with no enough ingredients. Save opps and wins being the ingredients here.
  • Please, blog, may I have some more?

Two weeks of baseball left, kids!  If you’re still in the thick of things in your fantasy league, congrats — and if you’re not… well, maybe you actually still are, because things can change in a hurry in a 10-week season.  Let’s peruse a few names that may be of interest as we approach the end of the year, particularly to those of us in AL-only, NL-only, and other deep leagues.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey has begun releasing his weekly buy/sell articles one day early to all of our valued Patreon members so you can get that extra leg up on your competition!
If it’s not news then you won’t hear about it on I Can’t Believe It’s Not Not News with Grey Albright, Billy Hurley and Donkey Teeth. On this week’s show we discuss a woman who called the police over a piece of meat she bought at Save A Lot which she suspected might be a human penis—it wasn’t. Then a lock of Abraham Lincoln’s hair goes up for auction which gives Grey the brilliant idea to clone Honest Abe and employ him to write for Razzball. Later, a tourist in Thailand grabs a docile tiger’s testicles for a selfie opp and a New Zealand boy has a lego piece lodged in his nose for two full years. Find links to all of this week’s stories below!
Tune in now for all the laughs by signing up for the exclusive Razzball Patreon Club for only $5/month!
Please, blog, may I have some more?

Good Afternoon MLB DFS’rs, and welcome today’s FanDuel analysis.

Before we dive into the today’s slate, I want to spend a few short moments talking about mental illness. With it being Suicide Awareness month and recent news about Dak Prescott I thought it would be good to share some personal info about myself. About a year ago my brother took his own life. He had everything you could ask for in life. Beautiful family, super successful business, married his high school sweetheart. But he suffered in silence. In the end it was just too much to bear. Please, if you’re ever feeling down, SEEK HELP. Talk to friends, talk to family. Just know, someone loves you. And someone will be beyond crushed if you’re gone.

If you’re still with me, let’s dive into today’s action. We have a small three game main slate that I’ll focus on. I’ll be honest, I’m not a huge fan of anything where there’s less than four games. The game that I’ll be focusing most of my attention on is the Braves/Orioles game. In this game you have two pitchers who are both below average. This should, in my and Vegas’ opinion, be the highest scoring game of the day. If you’re going to win all the money, tonight’s a night where you may need to get a a little crazy. Pick a batter opposing the pitcher you’re using, stack the bottom of the lineup. When it’s this small, go crazy! Let’s look at some individual plays!

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

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Alec Mills (9 IP, 0 ER, 3 walks, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.93) threw a no hitter for everyone who is like, “I hit 66 on the speed gun, ya think I can be a major league pitcher?” Alec Mills threw a no hitter for everyone who ever said to themselves, “I look kinda like a landscaper for a Target parking lot, but am unemployed. Maybe I can pitch in the bigs.” Alec Mills threw a no hitter for everyone who once said, “I’d make a pretty mediocre minor leaguer, but am already on the 40, and the Cubs haven’t promoted a prospect in five years, so maybe I can pitch for the Cubs all year.” Alec Mills threw a no hitter for the one guy who woke yesterday and said, “I’m going to have the best day of my life today,” but not the person who said that, and thought eating a whole bowl of nacho cheese was their best day ever. Alec Mills, while not a great major league pitcher, like that man who ate the whole bowl of nacho cheese, had himself a great day. Going forward for him, I’d use the Streamonator, so that’s a pass. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

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The time is getting close. The possibility of a season ending that was barely a possibility in June is upon us. Fall is peaking around the corner and pumpkin spice (I SAID PUMPKIN SPICE) is everywhere! I mean, the NFL is back, not all of football but at least the NFL. So it’s the home stretch and Fantasy Baseball championships can still be won and lost in the last two weeks. Additions to the list of players like #90 Jeimer Candelario, who has 5 homers and a .417 batting average the past two weeks, can boost you in multiple categories. Someone like D.J. Stewart can too, but his 6 homers and .455 batting average were done in bulk the last 7 days so he’ll take a bit more to get on the list. His teammate #91 Ryan Mountcastle, however, has won a spot thanks to his 4 homer .367 last two week mark and slightly higher pedigree. Other additions include the practically homering in every game #98 Bobby Dalbec (sure, it was close with Stewart, but Dalbec set a Red Sox rookie record for homers so…), welcome back #92 Michael Brantley  and #96 Isiah Kiner-Falefa (a lone Ranger highlight). Of course, we can’t forget that sultan of swat, that bountiful Brave, #70 Adam Duvall. Are you serious with a 9 home run barrage, including hitting in the .290’s over the last 15?

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I really like to come up with original titles for posts, and even though I did think of this one myself, I knew the moment I did that there was no way someone else hadn’t already done so. I was correct. However, I’m sticking with it. I considered Right Said Freddie and Buy One, Get One Freeman, but clearly they finished second and third in the vote that took place inside my head. Wait, I’ve got a better one. How’s “Freddie, Willing and Able”? Perhaps I should go with that. Oh, who’s kidding, I’m too lazy to change it and then have to rearrange the previous few sentences I’ve already written. “Primed and Freddie To Go”? Don’t rush me, I’ll get the post when I’m “Good and Freddie”?

Don’t look now, but Freddie Freeman is the real National League MVP. Say what??? With all the attention on Fernando Tatis and Juan Soto, Freeman has not so quietly been making his case as the best hitter in the NL. Who are we kidding, he’s been doing that for the last several years. Tatis might be exciting and flashy while Freeman could be the poster boy for boring. However, at the end of the day the only thing that matters are the numbers.

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Well, folks, this is just about it. I’ve only got like one more of these to write after this one. Ain’t that somethin’? What a year, man. In Yahoo standard leagues, the playoffs start tomorrow. Unlike real baseball, it’s a narrow field in the realm of Yahoo. Semifinals for Week 8, and the grand finale for Week 9. Then donezo!

This week’s waiver piece is going to be much more to the point with not-so-deep dives as in the past. I got a teething toddler who isn’t sleeping well (she goes like 10-11 hours straight normally!), and it’s also her birthday Monday. The big T-W-O. Doing this and that to celebrate all weekend since I have to work late on her actual birthday. Fun stuff. So the writing time is at a premium this time around.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I know I am only talking to the most hardcore of hardcore MLB DFS players today.  Why?  The NFL kicks things off with their first DFS day of the year and the degens will be hitting the NFL en force.  That means that only the strongest and most dedicated MLB DFS players will be playing today.  Expect sites to have slightly reduced MLB slates today as everyone turns their eyes to football.  So, let’s up our game today and make sure we can take down those sharks.  We’re going to need to roll the dice a bit in GPPs and that’s why I’m looking at Frankie Montas ($6,800).  Montas has been all over the map lately, but in his defense, three of his last five contests have been against the Astros.  I wouldn’t like anyone’s chances with those odds.  Today, he gets to face the Texas Rangers and their second to last team OPS.  The Rangers and Pirates are in a fight for the bottom and it’s not really close.  I love Montas for a bounce back here and I think a lot of people will be avoiding him due to his recent hiccups.  Reap those rewards my friends.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

With four home runs and a stolen base in his first seven games, Randy Arozarena finally bloomed this week. Better late than never. 

One highlight of my winter was plucking Randy Rose atop the 2nd round of a 30-team First-Year-Player-slash-Supplemental Draft. 

The pre-Rona times were a mood, man. We had plenty of stuff to be indignant or cosmically fearful about, but we kinda weren’t, you know? Like on the day-to-day basis? We were mostly thinking about Randy Arozarena’s flashy spring in the fantasy factory that is Tampa Bay. Or maybe that was just me. 

But Tampa’s the pivot-slash-segue here, if such a thing exists when a conversation wanders among the Rona thoughts. Tampa’s Rays have been getting a lot of winter shade the past few off-seasons because the front office there would prefer to platoon the planet. The reticence to embrace young Rays makes plenty of sense, but on the other hand, a lot of what Tampa touches turns to gold.   

Arozarena will cool off soon enough because nobody could sustain his pace, but I think he’s here to stay as an impact bat for our game. He posted 16 home runs and 19 stolen bases in about 400 plate appearances between AA, AAA and MLB in 2019, slashing better than .300/.400/.500 at every level. Only the Cardinals would look at a guy like that and say no thanks. The “industry” in general loved the trade for St. Louis because we can dream on LHP Matthew Liberatore for a long time. Maybe it’ll still break their way, but Arozarena is a perfect fit in Tampa as a lefty masher who’s been improving against righties the past few seasons to the point where I think he’ll be above average against same-siders. He’s also a plus defender across the outfield. If I have to pick between Arozarena and Dylan Carlson in 2021, I’m feeling Randy enough to pluck the rose. Might even prefer him over the balance of their careers, partly because I’ve always loved the guy, partly because I just trust Tampa’s touch. 

So who else do we need to monitor in Tampa?

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Well, I’ll let you choose whether or not my title is an homage to Ernest Hemingway or Metallica, but the truth of the matter is, both will continue to be remembered for their hair. I think! Plus, if you are going to be talking about a player with the last name ‘Bell’, best use a recognizable reference. Trade secrets here folks. So while this season has been random, short, and crazy, much like my love-making, you could say that Josh Bell’s season has been much like the a Hemingway novel, long, tedious, and unavoidable. Take that high school English period! So what happens next for Bell? Is there enough time to recover, is he a lost cause, perhaps a bounce-back candidate for next year?

Please, blog, may I have some more?