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See all of today’s starting lineups

# MLB Starting Lineups For Wed 8/6
ARI | ATH | ATL | BAL | BOS | CHC | CHW | CIN | CLE | COL | DET | HOU | KC | LAA | LAD | MIA | MIL | MIN | NYM | NYY | PHI | PIT | SD | SEA | SF | STL | TB | TEX | TOR | WSH | OAK

Look, I understand that Connor-eyed Joe makes no sense, but if you came to one of my posts looking for sense, boy do I have some parentheses to sell you. (Hint, I like parentheses.) But yes, I’d like to imagine that something akin to the phrase above was going through Blake Treinen’s head in his first appearance on opening day when he gave up a game-defining homerun to one previously mentioned Connor Joe. And while there isn’t quite too much stock that can be put into what is now just 0.03% of the season completed, it’s not like we can’t dream on just a handful of games. I mean, the Padres are 4-1, that’ll totally last, right? (*Cries into alcoholic beverages. All of them.) But back to Joe, it’s no secret that the Rockies outfield is a bit crowded with Grichuk, Blackmon, Bryant, Hilliard and Daza. Combined that with the fact that Connor’s development and pedigree has been more of a slow-burn (with the majority of games in the minor leagues), but he’s always had a keen sense of the plate, sustaining strong career marks in both BB% and K% along with a bit of pop. And not for nothing, but his 19 plate appearances so far are tied with Bryant, and already more than the rest of his OF peers, something to keep an eye on. Connor-eyed perhaps? Feels so good!

Join me after the jump for some more random facts, hot takes, and other robust ruminations (classy content folks) on the Kwan, Jo Adell morphing into Pedro Cerrano from Major League and how long Kyle Farmer will keep plowing the field. Is it just me, or does that sound sexual? And is it just me, or does plowing the field not really equate to hitting well? Eff it, we’ve typed this far…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Hey, Timmy, thanks for coming to see me in this old age home. Did you bring me the stewed carrots I asked for? Oh, great. What a pal. Let me take my teeth out so I can slurp on the soft carrots. I can’t believe how old I feel now. What’s that? Speak up! How old am I?! Same age I was five days ago, but it’s not how old I am. It’s how old I feel. Oh, yeah, I was spry duck just last week, but the first week of April’s starting pitching has aged me forty years in five days. I started the week remembering to go pee-pee and poo-poo in the toilet, and now I’m wearing diapers! Stupid starting pitching! Welp, we have one good starter this year, his name is Alek Manoah (6 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 4 walks, 7 Ks). Was watching Manoah last night and to say he looked good is somehow an understatement and an overstatement. He was unhittable, while also being nowhere near the plate for huge chunks of the game. It was not the best I had seen him — that was when he was interviewed with his mother and I was able to block him out of the shot with my hand. But for one magical night in April, we actually got a decent pitching line, so, ya know what? Alek Manoah looked as awesome as his mom, Aleka Momoah! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s time to straight-up John McClain this article: We’ve had three days of professional baseball in 2022 and that don’t mean Donkey Teeth. If any tout is out there telling you to sell the farm and trade Juan Soto for Starty McStarter-Pants (two last names, how modern!), just mute them right now. It takes at least three outings to make a trend. Ugh. 10% of the season? OK, OK, lemme rephrase that: It takes at least 10% of the season to make a trend. Crap, that just says the same thing but I put the italics somewhere else…ENYWHEY. There’s a freaking reason you put your effort into drafting an awesome team, and unless you went Jacob deGrom/Lance Lynn to start, your job right now is to hold the line.

Please, blog, may I have some more?